Not Alone

Chapter 10

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long for me to update this story, I totally forgot about this story, but I'm back now!

Abby looked at Carter, what was she going to say to him, she couldn't lie to him again, now that he knew that she still loves him. Abby sighed. But how did he know how she feels about him, but then suddenly she realized who told him.. Susan.

"John, I can't do this, I have to go," she said as she picked up her suitcase. Carter grabbed her hand. "Just talk to me, and if you want to still leave town, I'm not going to stop you,"

Abby looked at him. "Fine, I'll talk to you for a few minutes, but don't think anything you say is going to change my mind," she said.

"I know," Carter replied. "There is a diner nearby, why don't we go and get some coffee and talk,"

Abby nodded, and followed Carter to the diner. She didn't know what she was going to do, she did everything that she did for a reason, and having coffee with Carter wasn't going to change her mind, was it?

"Are you coming, Abby?"

"I'm coming,"

Carter glanced at Abby. They entered the diner, grabbed a booth, and sat down.

"Why did you lie to me?"

(((

Abby looked into Carter's eyes, and she saw both anger and confusion.

"I didn't want to lie to you, but that was the only way"

"The only way!" Carter replied. "What are you talking about? Did our relationship not mean anything to you; you know that you don't need to lie to me, tell me everything,"

Abby looked at Carter, she wanted to tell him everything, but then everything she did would have been for nothing. Suddenly the waitress came to ask what they wanted, so she didn't say anything to Carter.

"A coffee, please," they both told the waitress, as she walked away from them.

"So Susan is telling the truth, and you did lie and you still love me?" Carter replied.

Abby looked at Carter, and suddenly she said the one thing that she promised herself that she wouldn't. "I do still love you,"

Carter looked at Abby with shock written on his face. "Then why did you lie to me, Abby, if you still love me,"

Abby started to play with her napkin, Carter then placed his hand gently on top of hers and entwined them. "Talk to me, don't lie to me,"

As Abby looked into Carter's eyes, she could tell that he was telling the truth, but she still wasn't sure if she was ready to tell him why she did everything.

Abby took a deep breath before she spoke. "Everything started the day that I went to Omaha to deal with Eric, and you came there to help me. It meant everything to me that you came to be with me, but I realized a few weeks later, that I'm always going to have to put my family first and I love you too much to make you have to go through that. You deserve someone that has you as their number one priority."

"Abby, why didn't you tell me you feel this way. I know that your family is important, I would never expect anything less from you."

"But my family isn't just any family."

Carter squeezed tightly onto Abby's hand. "I love you, Abby Lockhart, I don't want someone different, I want you,"

"John, you aren't even listening to me, I broke up with you because I didn't want you to deal with my family. Just leave John while you still can,"

"No, Abby, you aren't listening to me, if you told me this before you broke up with me, you would have known that I want to be with you no matter what."

"John, it doesn't matter anymore, just forget about me. I'll never forget about you, I'll remember all the good times," Carter looked up at her. "I know that you are afraid, but you have to realize that you don't need to do this, I love you," he said as he leaned over and kissed her.

"Don't do this, John; don't make this any harder than it has to be," she replied, as she moved away from him.

"Don't do this to us…" Carter yelled.

Abby turned around. "There is no us anymore. I am leaving." Carter grabbed a hold of her hand. "You love me, Abby; you don't want to do this."

"I'm doing this because I love you. You will forget about me one day, and it would be like we were never together."

Carter stood up, and grabbed a hold of her hand. "Let's go," She looked up at him with this confused look on her face. "Are you listening to me? It's over."

"Not yet," he said. "Come with me now. You trust me, don't you?"

She looked up at him, of course she trusts him, but this isn't why she broke up with him, it is because she isn't good enough for him.

"Fine, I'll come with you, but then that is it," she responded, not knowing if she was doing the right thing.

((

"So where are we going?" she asked him in the car.

"You'll find out soon enough," he said, as he approached the hospital. "Why are we going to County?"

"If you want to end our relationship, I want you to remember where our relationship began, the first time we kissed in the exam room"

"I can't believe you, John, you would do this. It is not because I don't remember the love we shared; I told you it just I can't be with you." Abby shouted, as she walked out of the hospital.

"Wait Abby..." he yelled as he run after her. She turned around. "Leave me alone."

"I can't do that, Abby, not when I know you are making the biggest mistake of your life,"

"No, my biggest mistake was being with you, John. I knew from the beginning that we weren't made for each other, but I thought just maybe I could be happy."

"You can be happy if you let yourself, we can be happy together," Carter replied, as he grabbed a hold of her, holding onto her tightly. She looked into his eyes; she could see that he was telling the truth. She wanted more than anything to tell him that she wanted to be happy with him, but she couldn't.

She moved her hand away from his. "I can't stay anymore, I have to go," Abby responded. "And please don't follow me," she said, as she walked away from Carter.

He stood there in shock; he didn't know what else he could do. Suddenly he heard Susan's voice. "I just saw Abby running off, she didn't say one word to me, what happened?

"I think I just lost the best woman that I have ever been with."

((

Carter and Susan were sitting in the lounge. "I tried everything, I told Abby that I love her, but it didn't help, she stills thinks that she isn't good enough for me, because of her family,"

Susan could see how upset Carter was. "You really love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Susan. She is the best thing in my life. I just wish she would understand that."

Susan smiled. "I think she knows it, Carter she's just scared." he stood up. "Well, I should go."

Susan hugged Carter. "I'm so sorry, I thought if you found Abby that you would be able make her change her mind."

"I thought so too," Carter replied as he walked out of the lounge.

Carter was walking down the river when he saw her sitting on the bench. He walked up to her. "I thought you would be gone,"

She looked up at him. "John, I couldn't leave, I've been sitting here thinking about us, and everything that we have been through. Remember when you told me right here how you felt about me, when I was still with Luka,"

Carter smiled at the memory, as he sat down next to her. "I know you're really confused right now, with everything that you are going through with your family."

"See that's the thing, Maggie called me yesterday and told me that Eric is on his meds and is doing well. I'm just scared if I get on with my life something is going to happen with my family, and I am going to need go deal with it, and I wouldn't want to do that to you, or to whoever I am with."

Carter hugged Abby. "I will be there for you no matter what."

"Well I'll let you go, you probably need to get ready to leave." he said as he stood up.

"Wait, John, I'm not leaving, I'm staying here. Chicago is my home; my friends are here, my job…" Abby replied, You're here, she thought to herself.

He stood there in shock, Abby was staying, and everything would be okay. He hugged her. "I'm so happy that you're staying." She looked at him. " Carter, I still need time to figure everything out, I can't be with you right now."

"I understand, Abby.. we'll just take it slow.. we will just be friends for now." he said.

He wanted to be with her more than anything, but he would take what he could get, if being her friend is all he could have right now, then that is what he will be, her friend.