Not Alone

Chapter 11

It has been 3 months since Abby decided to stay in Chicago and that her and Carter were going to just be friends. She wanted more than anything to be more than friends again, but she couldn't.

"It is hard isn't it?" Susan replied, as she looked at Abby watching Carter. Abby turned around.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Abby lied. Susan laughed. "I see the way you look at him everyday, how long do you think you are going to be able to do this.. just be friends with him?"

"Susan… I thought you understood my decision,"

"I do, Abby, but I'm just saying that I can see that you still love him, do you really just want to be his friend?" she asked. Abby looked at Susan. "I can't talk about this right now,"

Carter walked out of the exam room. "Hey Abby, are you on break?"

Abby nodded.

"Do you want to Docs for some coffee?"

"Sure, that sounds great," Abby said, looking at Susan. "Bye Susan. "

((

Abby and Carter were sitting in Doc Magoos, when she looked up at him. "John, I know this is hard for you, just being my friend, but I really appreciate you understanding my decision."

He placed his hand on hers. "Of course I do, Abby,"

He looked at her. "I think there is something you should know." Abby smiled. "Yeah, John?"

"Well, I'm going out for dinner with this woman from pediatrics."

Abby moved her hand away from Carters. "You're going on a date,"

"I wouldn't say it is a date, I'm just having dinner with this woman." Carter explained. "But it's not like we're together anymore,"

"You're right John, you can go out with anybody you want, I'm happy for you," she told him.

He looked at her. "Abby, I just didn't want you to find out from someone else,"

Abby nodded. "Its fine, John, like you said, we aren't together anymore, and I can't tell you who to date." He could see that she was upset. "Abby," he said, as he grabbed her hand."

"John, please just forget about it, I should be heading back to the ER," she said, as she stood up.

"Abby.. wait,"

"I said I'm fine, I'll see you later." she said, as she hurried out of the diner. She turned around and looked at Carter. She didn't know why she got so upset; she was the one that broke up with him. But I guess it's because I still love him, and don't want to see him with anybody else, she thought to herself, as she walked back into the ER.

((

Later that evening,

Carter was in the lounge when Susan walked in. "I hear you got a date tonight?"

Carter turned around. "It's not a date, I'm just going out with dinner with Linda from pediatrics,"

Susan laughed. "It's a date, John; I don't care what you say." Carter closed his locker. "What do you expect me to do? Do you want me to wait for Abby for the rest of my life? I know she loves me, but she just can't be with me. I have to get on with my life,"

"Do you really think that it's fair to Linda if you are only going out with her to get over Abby?" Susan asked. Carter sighed. "I have to, Susan. Of course I want to be with Abby, but I can't, and I have to deal with it.

"So you're telling me you don't love Abby anymore?" Susan questioned Carter. Carter moved towards the couch, and sat down. "I love Abby, and I always will. I want to be with her, I would do anything to be with her again, but I know I can't, I have to move on,"

Suddenly Abby came into the lounge. "John," she said. He looked up at her. "Abby,"

She walked towards her locker and opened it. "I should explain myself," Carter replied as he walked up to her. Susan knew the two of them needed some time alone, and left the lounge.

"You don't need to explain yourself, John, I know that you need to move on, I've moved on too"

Carter was taken back by what she said; he didn't know that she would move on as well.

She leaned over and hugged him. "John, you were the best thing in my life, I will never forget what you did for me."

"Well I should be going now, goodnight Abby," he said, as he walked out of the lounge. She watched him leave the room; she knew this was the best thing for the both of them, but then why did she feel so bad? Why did she felt like a part of her was missing since she broke up with Carter? She sighed. She had to forget about Carter, she could never be with him again. She would love him always, but she has to stop thinking about him.

((

Later that evening,

"Susan, I'm not going to get back together with Carter, how many times do I need to tell you why I broke up with him and that we are only friends?" Abby explained.

Susan laughed over the phone. "I know the reasons Abby, but I have seen the way the two of you look at each other, you are definitely still in love with each other. He misses being with you, I know."

"I can't be with him, not now or ever," Abby said.

"Abby, he is on a date right now, and that doesn't bother you one bit, so you're telling me you wouldn't care if he and this woman fell in love, had kids and live happy ever after,"

"I'm not talking about this."

Susan laughed. "You are jealous,"

"No, I'm not jealous," Abby replied.

"Of course you are, you told Carter that you moved on. He is going to think that you are dating someone,"

"Maybe that is what he needs to hear so he can move on. I just can't talk about this anymore, I have to go Susan."

"Abby… "

"Susan.. I got to go,"

"Just don't take too long. It might be too late if you do. He won't wait for you forever."

"Goodbye," Abby said, as she hung up the phone.

A few hours later,

He won't wait for you forever

That is all that Abby could think as she was lying in her bed, she knew that Susan was right and he wouldn't wait for her forever. She sat up in bed, and sighed. "Oh, what I am supposed to do,"

She got of bed, and she started to get dressed. She knew exactly what she had to do.

((

Abby waited patiently as she waited for him to open the door. " Abby?" he said. She looked up at him. "I'm sure that I've come at a bad time and that your date is probably in there with you, but I need to talk to you now,"

"Abby.."

"No, John, I need to talk to you now, this is about our future,"