CANNONBALL RUN 4: HIGH OCTANE
By The Turbo Man
CHAPTER 4:
STATESIDE SCRAMBLE
NOTE: This is a long chapter. I'm not sure if later chapters will be just as long or not.
The telephone rang in the office of police captain Thaddeus Harris. He picked it up.
"Harris speaking." he said.
"Hello, Captain." an English-accented voice on the phone said. "Are you aware that the Cannonball Run has begun again?".
Harris suddenly sat up in his chair.
"Who is this?" he asked suspiciously.
"Who I am is not important right now." the voice replied. "Let's just say that I'm a concerned citizen. I have some information which may be useful to you.".
"What information?" Harris asked.
"Some license plate numbers, so you'll know which vehicles are the Cannonball vehicles.".
"Look, pal, I don't want to get in trouble with the President." Harris said.
"Do you intend to let a bunch of traffic menaces cause destruction and get rewarded for it?" the voice asked. "Think about it. If you catch them, you could give them enough traffic citations to make sure they never drive again!".
Harris thought about it. He sighed and reached for a pad and pencil.
"Okay, give me those numbers.".
Five minutes later, in the black Ferrari which was parked near the police station, Mr. Benedict hung up his cellphone and smiled.
"Perfect." he said. "That should cause our friends a spot of bother.".
"If that moron Harris can handle it. He was pathetic during the last race!" Foyt said. "Still, at least he's dedicated to his job.".
"Well, Marcus, Regis and the others are all in the field already and we have other agents standing by." Benedict said. "Shall we go find ourselves a Cannonballer?".
"Oh yeah." Foyt said smiling as she reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a Desert Eagle pistol.
Benedict reached in and took out his Mac 10 and slid a magazine into it. He smiled to himself.
At the Cannonball Dome, the commentators were addressing the camera.
"Alright, people." Kat said. "It's official. It's now nine o'clock in the morning, about 36 hours after the Cannonballers set out."
"It took a little more than 24 hours, but our racers have now entered the US. They will proceed south into South America and continue around the world! Right now, some racers are heading south through the States via Washington, others are going via New York.". Said Max
"Things are certainly heating up." Lazlow said. "Members of the band are already in the betting room checking things out!".
"Yeah, I hope Jack and Shrek are better at crowd control than our previous bookies." Misty said, giggling.
"Now, let's check how things are going in there." said Kat.
In the betting room, the band members were all shouting at once.
"This doesn't look good." said Shrek.
"Well, you know what Ol' Jack does at a time like this?" Jack Burton said mischievously.
"No, what do you do?" Donkey asked.
Jack took out a hard hat and put it on. Shrek and Donkey looked confused. Jack then pulled out an Uzi and fired it into the ceiling above his head.
The musicians immediately ducked down. Some plaster fell from the ceiling. The hard hat protected Jack from it.
"Alright, now." Jack said. "Now that we've all calmed down a little, what do you guys have to ask?".
The musicians got to their feet and approached the counter. First was Chad Kroeger of Nickelback.
"The band and I bet on the Behemoth. How's it holding out?".
Jack turned to look at the board.
"They're currently running in sixth place, but they're gaining on the Esperanto fast." Jack said.
"Who's in first?" Burt Bacharach asked. "I hope it's the Infernus 'cause I bet quite a bit on them.".
"Well the Infernus is very high up in the ranking." Shrek said. "But in first right now is the Cobalt.".
"That's great." Dr. Dre said. "I bet about ten grand on them!".
"Well, guys, things look good so far." Donkey said. "Just try not to give yourselves heart attacks.".
The door to the room opened and Ozzy Osbourne stuck his head in.
"Hey, are you guys coming back on stage or not?! We've got a $%#@* show to do!".
"We're just checking our bets!" Nick of Backstreet Boys said.
"Yeah, and the fans are just waiting to hear some music!" Ozzy said. "Now come on, for God's sake!".
The musicians trooped out.
Up in his office, Brock Yates was speaking on the phone.
"Is the money safe, Mr. X?" he said.
"Yes, Brock. Rest assured that I'll keep it safe until the end of the race." Mr. X replied.
"After last year, I'm glad we've taken precautions to make sure that our racers are safe." Brock said.
"Don't worry Brock. I'm in contact with our people." Mr. X said. "They'll be ready to act."
"Okay." Brock said. "Goodbye for now.".
In his rented apartment in New York, Mr. X turned to face two people that he had hired to help in the Cannonball.
"So you say it's believed that Lex Luthor and his partners want to steal the money?".
"That's right, sir." The Blue Falcon replied. "Are you sure it was wise not to inform the Cannonballers about this?".
"Falcon, they've got enough to worry about. We and the other guys can take care of those thugs!" Dynomutt said.
"Don't be so cocky." Mr. X warned. "These people are tough.".
"Well, we'll do our best sir.". Blue Falcon said.
This bloody road remains a
mystery
This sudden darkness fills the air
What are we waiting for?
Won't anybody help us?
What are we waiting for?
We can't afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It's a do or die situation
We will be Invincible
This shattered dream you cannot justify
We're gonna scream until we're satisified
What are we running for?
We've got the right to be angry
What are we running for?
When there's no where we can run to anymore
We can't afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It's a do or die situation
We will be Invincible
And with the power of conviction
There is no sacrifice
It's a do or die situation
We will be Invincible
Won't anybody help us?
What are we running for?
When there's no where, no where we can run to anymore
We can't afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It's a do or die situation
We will be Invincible
And with the power of conviction
There is no sacrifice
It's a do or die situation
We will be Invincible
Invincible by Pat Benatar
The Phantom sped through Seattle, with Cid at the wheel.
"Okay, here we go!" he said. "Got two guys in front of us and the rest behind us. We gotta put the peddle to the metal!".
"This is great!" Sora yelled. "We're gonna win this aren't we?".
"You bet we are!" Cid yelled back. "You want to give Him a go yet, Sora?!".
"No, not yet. Wait till the time is right." Sora replied.
"Let me have a go, Cid. I can handle it!" Riku shouted.
"Okay, as soon as we hit Frisco, you take over! But Sora gets a go before that".
"That's fine." Riku said.
Kairi looked in the mirror. "The Stinger 2 is coming up behind us." she announced, but they're taking it easy by the look of things.".
"Well, we can take care of them." Cid said. "Let's get going."
Cid put his foot down on the accelerator.
In the Stinger 2, Tommy was driving and listening to the tape he'd brought along.
"Video killed the radio star." he sang along.
"You really like the 80's stuff don't you Tommy?" Chili asked.
"Well I was let out of the joint in '86. There were some great tunes playing then. God, I remember when rap was still an underground thing, and now it's everywhere!".
"Yeah, well, is there anything more contemporary in your collection?".
"Hey, I hope you don't mean any of that techno crap!" Tommy said. ""Cause that sure as shit ain't music!".
"Hey, what do you take me for?" Chili said. "I hate that crap, too. I meant stuff like Tom Jones or that."
"Hey, you want to hear Jones, I'll tune in to the Cannonball band's frequency sometime. I once did a few favours for that band Love Fist you know.".
"Yeah, but look what happened to them thanks to their lead singer's ego." Chili said.
Tommy sped the car up a bit as they headed towards Washington.
About ten miles behind the Stinger 2, the Maniac was running neck and neck with the High Roller.
"This guy's pretty tough to get past." BD Joe said.
"So, we can beat this guy!" Kid Rock yelled. "Right, DW?".
Darkwing Duck didn't hear Kid Rock as he was busy speaking on a cellphone.
"Honest, Gosalyn!" he said. "I'll be fine and we'll both have a lot of money. Yes, I know that Steelbeak is making plans again but I'm sure the city can survive without me for a while.".
"Hey, DW, will you knock that off!" Kid Rock yelled.
DW put his hand over the phone and said "Do you mind? I'm talking to my daughter. I didn't bother you when you called the school!".
"Well, we're trying to concentrate on passing this green-faced geek!" BD Joe said. "Come on, bro, think of somethin'!".
"Duh!" DW said. "Just swerve a little. That'll throw him off!".
"What do you think, KR?" Joe asked.
"Do it!" Kid Rock replied. Joe swerved the Maniac a little to the left and the High Roller was forced a bit off the road.
The Maniac sped on.
"Oh, you guys have made yourselves an enemy!" The Mask promised as he steered his car back onto the highway.
"Let's go get 'em, right Milo?".
Milo barked in agreement and the High Roller pursued the Maniac down the highway.
In his office, Captain Harris yelled into the police radio.
"Attention all units!" he said. "The Cannonball Run has started. The racers have entered the States. I want them all caught and booked for their speeding. The reputation of the American police force depends upon you! I'm sending you the license plate numbers through the computer! Go get 'em.".
In their police car, a few miles outside Washington, Johnny Bravo and Zapp Brannigan replied.
"10/4, Captain! You can count on us!". Brannigan said. "Okay, Johnny, let's catch ourselves a Cannonballer.".
"What are Cannonballers? A bowling team?" Johnny asked.
"No, birdbrain, they're illegal racers. Traffic fiends!".
"Uh, okay." Johnny said. The Infernus whooshed past them.
"A red Lamborghini." Johnny said. "That's one of them!".
"Let's nab 'em!" Zapp yelled as he put his foot down.
In the Infernus, Mai noticed that they were being chased.
"Here we go." she said, as she flicked the NOS booster on. "Hope they can keep up."
"Cops are nothing if not persistent." Lara said as the car rocketed forward.
"Okay." Zapp said. "They want a chase, we'll show them a chase.". The cop car took off after the Infernus.
"Any other Cannonballers near us?" Mirai asked.
"The ones on this route mostly still have to pass through DC." Chun-Li replied.
In a parking lot outside a casino in Las Vegas, Marcus and Regis were standing near their car, waiting for the arrival of two of their friends.
"You sure these guys can help us?" Regis asked.
"They've never let us down before." Marcus replied.
A black Lincoln Continental pulled up to the pair. Out of it got two gangster-types in black suits. Their names were Fingers Freddy and Diamond Jim.
"Okay, so who do you guys owe money to this time?" Diamond Jim asked in his Cockney accent.
"No one." Marcus said. "We've got a proposition for you guys.".
"Yeah, well we'd better see some money out of it this time." Freddy said.
"Oh, you will, fellas." Regis said. "You'll be working for Lex Luthor and his partners.".
The two thugs both looked pleased.
"Great. So what's the operation." Jim asked.
"You know the Cannonball Run is on." Marcus said. "We just have to look after the racers. Make sure some harm comes to them."
"Well, that's our speciality." Freddy said. "Those guys will soon know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a sledgehammer.".
"Right." Regis said. "You guys can leave your car behind. We've prepared a vehicle for you. Let's go.".
In Washington, the Phantom had caught up with some of the others. Right now, they were speeding along near Capitol Hill.
"Okay, guys, now I think we should be careful not to wreck the city.". Riku said. "I doubt that the President would appreciate it.".
"We'll be fine, my friend!" Sora yelled as he steered the car. He was now wearing the Captain Chaos mask. "Captain Chaos knows what he is doing!".
Behind them, the Direwolf appeared.
"It's those insolent little twerps!" Domino yelled. "Think we should teach 'em some manners?".
"You bet!" Jessie yelled. "Let's give 'em a taste of our laser headlights!".
"Here we go!" James said as he pressed a button on the dashboard. A laser beam shot from the Direwolf's headlights and hit the back of the Phantom. The black car seemed unharmed, but Cid looked back, annoyed.
"It's those Rocket jerks!" he yelled. "I do believe they're challenging us. Shall we accept?".
"We certainly shall!" Sora yelled. "Riku, battle stations!".
"Check!" Riku said as he turned the key in the 'battle mode' ignition. He climbed up into the laser gun bay as the protective dome closed over Sora.
"Okay, here we go!" Riku said as the chair swivelled around to face their pursuers. He trained the crosshairs in on the Direwolf.
"Let's give them a taste of the electro-shock." he said as he turned the weapon setting to 'ES'. A streak of electricity was shot from the gun to the Direwolf.
The Rockets panicked as the electrical system of their car was zapped.
"Those little bastards!" James yelled." They're trying to kill us!".
"Don't panic!" Domino yelled as she tried to calm down. "It's just a brief burst. I'll just bring us to a stop.".
The Direwolf braked and the Rockets all took deep breaths.
"Those guys are playin' to win alright.". Meowth said. "We'd better be careful.".
"If I'd wanted to be shocked I'd go after that stupid Pikachu again!" Jessie said angrily. "Those brats will pay for that!".
"First, I'll have to check the car. We don't want to go ahead with a faulty vehicle.". Domino said.
Suddenly, the Esperanto sped past them, followed by the Behemoth.
"Are you kidding?!" James yelled. "Those others will get ahead of us!".
"We've got no other choice!" Domino snapped back.
In the Esperanto, Willy Fogg was taking things easy.
"Well, this is quite an enjoyable drive so far.". He said.
"You're being very calm." Dogtanian said.
"Well there's really no point in getting all fired up. That could make you make mistakes." Willy said.
"How are we doing, Rigadon?" Pip asked.
"So far, Monsieur, we have made it to Washington in just a bit over 36 hours. Very good progress in my opinion.".
"Excellent." Fogg said. They heard a loud whoop from behind them. The huge Behemoth passed them and they all gaped as they saw Ryan, Steve-O and Wee Man being pulled along behind it on bungee cords, riding on skateboards.
"It's those Jackass fellows." Fogg said. "Would you chaps say that they have a certain joie d'vivre?".
"That's one way of putting it." Dogtanian said. "I'd say they more than likely have a severe case of masochism.".
"Yeah, or insanity." Pip said. The four laughed.
In the Behemoth, Beetlejuice looked in the rear view mirror at the skateboarders.
"Are those guys doin' okay?" he asked Johnny.
"Yeah, they're alright." Johnny said. "Do you think we should bring them back in now?".
"Nah. Give 'em a few minutes more." Chris said.
Out on the boards, Steve-O and Wee Man were whooping loudly. Ryan was having fun too, but was mumbling to himself.
"Why am I always such a god damn team player?! It always gets me into trouble!".
The vehicles sped past the White House. In the Oval office, the President was watching through a pair of binoculars.
"Giving it your all as usual, my friends." he said to himself. "Godspeed to all of you.".
Meanwhile, Foyt and Benedict were speeding along towards New York, where many of the other racers were going. Benedict looked up ahead. In front of them, the Maelstrom was speeding along.
"Our first customer of the day." Benedict said smugly.
"Excellent." Foyt said. She got her gun ready.
"No gunplay just yet, Commander." Benedict said. "Let's play with them a little first. You said some Cannonballers can fly?"
"That's right."
"Well, Isabelle and Brooke are standing by just in case. Contact them and make sure they're ready.".
Foyt picked up her walkie-talkie and spoke into it.
"Unit Alpha to Unit Epsilon, do you read?".
"Loud and clear." Isabelle's voice came through the radio.
"We're behind that red and white." Foyt said. "We're gonna engage them. You're above us, so prepare to attack if they go sky high.".
"Roger." Isabelle replied.
In the Maelstrom, Buckaroo was driving. He looked in the rear view mirror and saw the Ferrari coming up behind him.
"That's strange." He said. "That's not a Cannonballer.".
"Could be an undercover cop." New Jersey said. "Let's lose 'em.".
Buckaroo put his foot down and the Maelstrom picked up speed. The Ferrari stuck with them.
"This fool doesn't know who he's dealing with!" Foyt yelled as Benedict gunned the engine of the Ferrari.
The Ferrari came up alongside the Maelstrom.
"They must want to drag." Perfect Tommy said. "Should we oblige them, Buckaroo?".
"There's no time for that." Buckaroo said. "We have to catch up with the other Cannonballers. Jersey, hit the booster.".
"Check." New Jersey said. Jersey flicked a switch and the Maelstrom suddenly accelerated with a massive whoosh, leaving the Ferrari far behind.
"Damn!" Benedict yelled.
"You should have let me shoot 'em!" Foyt yelled.
"Never mind." Benedict said. "There'll be other chances! The Twins and Max are in New York right now. Things should heat up soon enough."
In the sky above the highway, Isabelle and Brooke were flying in a helicopter, armed with a laser cannon.
"So much for their first catch of the day." Isabelle said as she looked down disdainfully at Foyt's car. "Never send a human to do an android's job!".
"Isabelle, Cannonballers, twelve o'clock!" Brooke yelled.
Up ahead of the helicopter, the Deluxo was flying through the air.
"Come to mama!" Isabelle said as she flew the chopper onward.
In the Deluxo, Clara was checking the map. "We'll be in New York soon." she said. "I think we should travel through the city on the ground.".
"Great idea." Doc said. "We should be there in about ten minutes. Prepare to descend in five minutes, Marty.".
"You're the doc, Doc!" Marty replied.
Suddenly a blast of laser fire was shot at them, narrowly missing.
"What was that?!" Marty yelled.
Doc turned on a TV monitor, marked REAR VIEW, on the dashboard and the image of the helicopter appeared.
"We have company." Doc said. "Try and shake 'em off Marty.".
"Right!" Marty said as he flew higher into the air.
"Follow them!" Brooke yelled. "We can't lose them!".
Isabelle steered the chopper further up into the sky. The Deluxo was ahead of them, and it was moving with a good deal more ease than the chopper was.
"Whoever those guys are, they're very persistent!" Marty said as he evaded another blast from the laser.
"Let's see just how desperate to catch us they are." Doc said. "Do you see the highway, Marty?".
Looking down, Marty said "Yeah, Doc I see it!".
"Take us down and prepare to land!". Doc said.
Marty started to descend towards the ground.
"Oh no you don't!" Isabelle said. "We'll swat you, you little pests!".
She started to descend as well. The chopper went dwn fast.
"Easy, big sister!" Brooke said. "You don't want to crash us.".
"I won't crash us!" Isabelle yelled. "I DO know how to fly this thing!".
The Deluxo was now just thirty feet above the road. Marty lowered the vehicle's wheels and slowly descended. In seconds, the Deluxo had touched down and started to drive along the highway.
Marty looked behind them. The chopper was now rather low, but still following them.
"They're still behind us!" he said.
Looking up ahead of them, Clara said "I think we're gonna lose them very soon.".
"I think you're a bit too low, Isabelle." Brooke said.
"Do you want to fly?!" Isabelle snapped. "We've got a Cannonballer in our grasp and all you can do is moan!".
The chopper came right up behind the Deluxo.
"Here we go!" Isabelle said.
Brooke looked up ahead and suddenly, here eyes widened.
"Uh, Isabelle, are you wearing your seatbelt?". She said.
"Of course I am. What's that got to do with anything?".
Brooke pointed up ahead of them. Isabelle looked forward and gasped as she saw that they were approaching very low tunnel.
"HOLY SHIT!" she yelled. She quickly undid her seatbelt.
"ABANDON SHIP!" she yelled. Brooke undid her belt as well and both androids jumped from the chopper.
The Deluxo quickly passed through the tunnel as the chopper crashed into the top of it.
In the Deluxo, Marty and friends laughed.
"That's that!" Doc yelled.
Suddenly, the wail of a siren could be heard. A police car had been up ahead of them and had turned on its siren as they passed it. The cop car was now in pursuit.
"Oh, boy. Here we go." Marty grumbled as he stepped on the gas.
In New York city, the Serpent and the Mantis were speeding along the Brooklyn Bridge.
"It's quite a nice city, isn't it, sir?" Baldrick asked.
"We're not here to see the sights, dungbrain!" Blackadder snapped. "We're here to win a race, so put a lid on it!".
In the Mantis, Donald Sinclair was trying to catch up to the Serpent.
"That blasted Blackadder won't beat me!" he yelled. "Leo, do you want to take over?".
"Okay, Donald." Leo di Caprio said as he switched places with Sinclair. "Hold on tight guys!". The Mantis accelerated.
In the heart of the city, the Banshee had stopped at a set of traffic lights.
"We can't let this shit slow us down, Lee!" Carter said.
"Who said it had to?" Lee said. He pressed a switch on the dashboard and an aerial extended, facing towards the traffic lights. After an electronic hum, the light changed from red to green.
"Wow!" Carter said. "Traffic lights ain't gonna stop us!".
"Let's go!" Lee said as the car sped on.
Meanwhile, on a highway in Oregon, Brannigan and Bravo had overtaken the Infernus and had now turned around to block the road. The Lamborghini came to a halt.
"Alright, let's see what these wiseguys have to say for themselves." Brannigan said as he got his notebook ready.
In the car, the girls saw the cops approach.
"Okay, girls, you know what to do.". Lara said.
"Okay, here goes." Mirai said.
The girls unzipped their jumpsuits enough to reveal some cleavage.
"Step out of the car, please." Bravo said. The four girls got out and the two cops' jaws instantly dropped when they saw the girls and their low-cut outfits.
"Ohhh, boy!" Johnny Bravo said. "Those are some hot, sexy mamas!".
"You betcha!" Brannigan said. "I don't know whether to book 'em or fall in love.".
The girls exchanged glances with each other. MORONS they all thought.
"Gee, we're really sorry about that little lapse, officers." Mai said. "We normally go around the speed limit.".
"Aw, the heck with that lapse." Brannigan said as he threw his notebook away. "So, are you girls doing anything tonight?".
"Yeah." Johnny said as he moved up close to Mirai and Chun-Li. "Wanna paint the town with a pair of hot young studs?".
The girls looked a little nervous. They all zipped their suits up and smiled.
"That would be nice, but we've got other things in mind for tonight." Lara said.
"Yeah, we're having a bit of car trouble." Chun-Li hastily added.
"Well, hey, you're talking to mechanical experts here." Zapp said. "I've got a tool that could fix anything!".
Lara and the girls rolled their eyes.
"Aw, come on, sweet cheeks." Bravo said to Mirai. "How about a little kiss?". He puckered his lips.
"EWWW!" she yelled. "No way!!".
"Oh, come on! Let's not beat about the bush!" Zapp said. "You know you want us ladies.".
"Yeah!" Johnny said. "You were good enough to show us what you got, now look at this!"
Johnny ripped his shirt off to show his muscles.
"Check the pecs!" he said as he flexed his chest muscles.
Brannigan moved up to Lara and said. "I know this really great place in Mexico." he said. "Really big beds!".
"How charming." Lara said as she forced a smile onto her lips. "As it happens, I have a surprise in the car for guys like you.".
Johnny and Zapp both looked excited.
"Close your eyes." she said in a teasing way.
Both men closed their eyes. Lara reached into the Infernus. She quickly signalled the other three girls to get back in the car. As they did, Lara faced Johnny and Zapp.
"Okay." she said. "Open your eyes.".
Both Johnny and Zapp opened their eyes and saw that Lara was holding a spray can. Before they knew what was happening, she sprayed mace into their faces. As both men screamed in pain, Lara leapt back into the Infernus and sped off.
"Damn! That's the tenth time this month that's happened!" Brannigan said.
"Some girls just don't know a good thing when it comes along!" Johnny said
Back in New York, the Cataclysm was driving along.
"Okay, Rath." Mathayus said. "You got that map of New York on the computer. Is there a shortcut we can take through the alleyways?".
"Indeed there is." Rath said. "Just turn into the next alley on the left and follow my directions.".
"Let's hope you did your homework well." Armon said.
None of the noticed two black Nissan Skylines which were behind them. In one were the Twins and in the other was Max Damage.
"They ain't gonna lose us that easy!" Max sneered. "Okay, you guys, let's go!".
"Understood." The Twins said in unison as both black cars turned down the alley and pursued the Cataclysm.
Little did they know that on a rooftop above them, a masked figure was looking down.
"Our racers have got themselves some trouble." Spiderman said to himself. "Guess it's time to swing into action!".
He quickly shot a web from his wrist and swung off down the alleyway.
The Cataclysm sped down the alleyways of New York, swerving around any obstructions with ease.
"This is definitely more fun than going through traffic!" Mathayus said.
"Yes. At this rate, we should be out of New York in just under three hours." Rath said.
The black Skylines were catching up.
"Do you want to go first, Max?" Twin One asked into his walkie-talkie.
"You bet your ass!" Max said. "I'm gonna turn that car into a junk heap!" He stepped on his accelerator and came up behind the Cataclysm.
"Hey, guys! Someone's behind us!" Armon said.
"Is it the cops?" Mathayus asked.
"Doesn't look like it." Armon said.
Without warning, the Skyline suddenly rammed into the back of the Cataclysm.
"Try that on for size!" Max yelled.
"Obviously not friendly!" Rath said. "Let's try and lose them!".
"Alright!" Mathayus said as he stepped on the accelerator. Max sped after them, followed by the Twins.
"This should be of some enjoyment." Twin Two said.
"Yes indeed." his brother responded.
Above the Twins' car, Spiderman had landed on a rooftop and was taking careful aim. "Okay, fellas, this is where you get off!". He said.
He shot a web which hit the back of the Twins' Skyline. He quickly attached the other end of the web to a metal beam.
The Twins tried to move their car fast, but found themselves suddenly being slowed down.
"What's going on?" Twin Two demanded.
Twin One put his foot down but still the car would not go any faster. Suddenly, with a jerk, they came to a complete halt. Both twins were thrown forward, but their seatbelts stopped them from going through the windscreen.
"That takes care of Siegfried and Roy for now." Spiderman said, laughing. "Now for that other guy!". He swung off quickly.
The Cataclysm was speeding down the alleys at well over 100 mph.
"WATCH OUT!" Armon yelled as he pointed ahead. Towards the end of the alley, a garbage truck was driving across. Mathayus clenched his teeth and twisted the steering wheel to the right. The car went up on its two right wheels.
With expert movements, the great warrior steered through the small gap the truck left open.
"That was TOO close!" Mathayus said as he set the car back down on its four wheels.
After the garbage truck had passed, the remaining Skyline still pursued the Cataclysm.
"Better just give up, guys!" Max said. "Nothing's gonna stop me now! NOTHING!".
Then, before Max knew it, a huge web appeared right in front of him. He rammed on the brakes of his car, but it was no good. His Skyline got caught up in the web.
Up above him, Spiderman smiled to himself.
"So much for those guys!" he said.
He spoke into a radio watch that was attached to his wrist.
"Spidey to Mr. X. The Cataclysm is safe. It's confirmed, the bad guys have come out of the woodwork.".
"Well done, Mr. Parker." Mr. X replied. "Return to base. Our other agents will remain vigilant.".
The Cataclysm sped on through the alleys.
"What was that web back there?" Armon asked.
"Someone must be looking after us." Mathayus replied. "Nice to know that Brock's looking out for the racers.".
"Alright then. Let's go." Rath said.
The Interceptor and the Tiberius were riding hard against each other. The Interceptor had put its siren on.
"Hopefully the authorities will think this is a police chase!" Max said to himself smugly.
"This guy just won't give up, Secret." Morocco said.
Just ahead of the two vehicles, some police cars had set up a roadblock.
"Okay, here goes." Max said as he pressed a button on the Interceptor's dashboard. The licence plate suddenly rotated and was replaced with a new one. "I owe that Bond guy for teaching me that trick." Max said to himself.
"Looks like we'll have to stop, Morocco." Secret said. "There's no sense in using weapons in a built-up area.".
"Okay." Morocco said as he brought the Tiberius to a halt. The Interceptor stopped right behind them.
"Alright, what's the big idea of speeding like that?" One cop said.
Max opened the canopy of the Interceptor and got up. He held up a police badge.
"It's okay, guys." he said. "I'm a cop. I've got this under control.".
The head cop eyed Max suspiciously.
"Just a second, pal." he said. "How do we know you're not pulling a fast one?".
Secret and Morocco observed the spectacle, confused.
"What's he up to?" Secret asked.
Another cop examined the new license plate on the Interceptor.
"It's not one of the cars we're looking for, Sarge." he said.
The Sergeant turned back to Max.
"So this IS a police vehicle?" The Sergeant asked.
"Yep. I've been chasing these guys for hours now for speeding.". Max said.
The Sergeant looked at the Interceptor.
"I've never seen a cop car like that." he said.
Max took the Sergeant to one side and spoke to him in a mock-serious way.
"It's an experimental vehicle." he said. "You see, I lied about chasing these guys for speeding. This was actually a test run for that vehicle. I had to see if it could keep up with that blue car.".
"Are you serious?" The Sergeant asked, dumbfounded.
"You bet I am. This is top secret, however. So, you understand that if you, or your officers tell anybody about this, I'll have to kill you." Max said.
The Sergeant looked nervous.
"Don't worry, sir. You can trust me. I won't breathe a word about this." he said. "And neither will my men.".
"Alright then." Max said. "We'll be on our way.".
He turned to the Tiberius.
"Okay, gentlemen. Let's be on our way.".
Morocco started the Tiberius up again and Max climbed back into the Interceptor. The cop cars moved aside to let the two vehicles through.
Max looked over at Secret and said "You owe me for that, pal.".
"We'll see." Secret replied.
The Hermes was going through traffic wildly, with the horn blaring.
Marge was at the wheel.
"Make way for the Simpsons!" She yelled.
"MARGE! Take it easy!" Homer yelled. "You're gonna kill somebody!".
Homer and the kids were all scared. It seemed that Marge was indeed having another road rage attack.
"We want to win, don't we?!" Marge yelled back. "I'm gonna whup some tushies here!".
She put her foot down on the accelerator and with a whoosh of flame from the exhaust pipes, the huge car headed towards the exit to the city.
Meanwhile, the Mantis had caught up with the Serpent and was engaging it.
"Battle stations, boys!" Sinclair yelled. He pressed a button and the top half of the car suddenly rose up on hydraulics to reveal a large cannon.
"That blasted bugger!" Blackadder yelled when he saw what was happening.
"Ready and waiting, Donald!" Keanu said.
"Alright. Fire one!" Sinclair yelled.
A missile was fired at the Serpent and narrowly missed it.
"Why can't any of these people shoot straight?!" Blackadder snapped.
"Well, sir, if they could, we'd all be dead." Baldrick said.
"That's got to be one of the most glorious moments of your life, Baldrick." Blackadder said. "You actually made an intelligent comment."
Blackadder continued to evade the missiles being fired at him as he sped on.
On a desert highway near Las Vegas, the Cheetah was driving along.
"So, what's the plan now?" Snake asked Ethan.
"According to the computer map, we can save a lot of time if we go through the desert." Ethan replied.
"Okay." Snake said. "I'm lowering the caterpillar tracks.".
Caterpillar tracks were lowered and the car turned and headed off through the desert.
Behind them, the BF Injection drove along. Steve Irwin noticed what they were doing.
"Well, well." he said." Two can play at that game. And we don't even need caterpillar tracks!"
"Let's give it to 'em." Crocodile Dundee replied.
Steve turned the dune buggy off the road and followed the Cheetah into the desert.
Weeks later…
The huge Thor vehicle spluttered to a halt outside a roadhouse in California.
"Great! Out of gas!" Hagar said in frustration. "I knew I should never have brought you along Eddie! Bad luck charm!".
"HEY! Don't blame me!" Lucky Eddie replied. "I told you we should have stopped for gas, but would you listen?!".
"Hold it! I've got an idea." Hagar said.
There were a lot of motorcycles parked outside the roadhouse. Hagar opened the glove compartment and took out a long hose.
"I'll go in and keep the clientele busy. You siphon the gas out of those cycles. Then we'll be on our way.".
"Are you sure about this?" Eddie asked.
"It'll be fine. These guys are probably half-drunk anyway.". Hagar got out of Thor and went towards the bar.
Inside the bar, a large group of bikers were watching the TV coverage of the Cannonball Run.
"Hey, turn it up, Bernie!" one of them, a guy called Pitbull, yelled. "These guys rock!".
"You think so?" his friend Spider sneered.
"Well these guys are gonna go all over the world. That's gotta count for something. What do you think, boss?".
The gang's leader, a guy called Big Ray glanced over at Pitbull.
"I don't think about those candy asses at all, Pitbull! They'll probably chicken out as soon as they reach the Arctic!" Ray sneered.
"Yeah, and that wuss Captain Chaos! I bet they just let him outta the looney bin!" said Ripper, Ray's number two.
"We could mop the floor with those wimps anyday!" Ray said.
"Is that so?" a voice from the entrance said.
The bikers turned around to see Hagar enter. Hagar looked over the bikers smugly.
"So, you guys think you're tough, huh?". He said.
"You bet we are, fat ass!" Big Ray said. "How about you? Got some pillaging to do? In case you ain't noticed, this is the 21st century!".
The bikers laughed.
"That's rich coming from a guy who looks like a reject from Easy Rider!" Hagar sneered as he looked Ray up and down. "The sixties are long over, amigo!"
Ray growled a little.
"No one is tougher than a Viking!" Hagar said. "And I'll prove it!Let's see if you guys can compete with me!".
He went over to a table and sat down at it. "Any of you any good at arm wrestling? Let's go!".
Outside, Eddie headed over to the bikes and started to siphon out the fuel.
He heard the sound of a motorbike pull up. He looked up nervously to see the Shockwave. The canopy of the driver's compartment opened to reveal Ghost Rider.
"A Cannonballer." Ghost Rider said. "What are you doing?".
"We ran out of fuel, so I'm just getting some more.". Eddie replied nervously.
"I can't say I approve of your methods, but stealing a little gas is nothing compared to the evils I've faced.". Ghost Rider replied.
"Um, okay." Eddie said. "Good luck in the race.".
"And good luck to you." Ghost Rider replied. "You'll need it if this sets you back a little." The Shockwave roared off into the night.
On a highway in Florida, the Blue Devil and the Muscle Car were still trying to beat each other.
"We'll give these guys a licking!" Babs yelled.
"YEAH! YEAH!" Dizzy Devil replied.
In the Blue Devil, Wile E. Coyote was driving.
"Okay, Wile, time to try out one of the gadgets you put into this thing!" Bugs Bunny yelled.
Wile E. reached for the dashboard and pressed a red button. The Blue Devil was thrown forward as a super turbo accelerator was activated.
"WOO-HOO!" Daffy Duck yelled. "So long, kids!".
"We'll get those guys!" Buster yelled in the Muscle Car.
Meanwhile, in California, the Firebolt was driving along.
"No sign of Sonic yet, boss." Fox said to Mario.
"Well, keep your eyes open." Mario said. "I like him, but I think it's time he saw who is the better game company.".
"Look, there's the Comet up ahead!" Samus said.
"Give 'em a warning shot." Mario said.
Fox pressed the button to open up the laser cannon.
"Looks like we got company." Knuckles said.
"That old timer just never lets up." Sonic sighed. Sonic quickly activated a defensive shield around the Comet as Fox opened fire.
"EAT THIS!" Fox yelled.
Behind the two vehicles, the XXS Tomcat and the Hyperion were running neck and neck.
"Come on, Gyro, we can't let these lads pass us!" Scrooge said.
"I'm doing my best, Mr. McDuck.". Gyro replied.
Wallace gunned the engine of his cycle for all it was worth.
Behind them, the Phoenix was barrelling along.
"Those guys sure don't give any quarter, eh KITT?" Michael Knight asked.
"Certainly not, Michael." KITT replied. "After all, there is $200 million up for grabs.".
Little did any of them know, but up ahead, Freddy and Jim were getting ready to blow up a bridge over a river that the Cannonballers would have to cross.
"Okay." Freddy said as he stood ready by the detonator. "There's enough dynamite there to blow a hole in the walls of the First National Bank. They ain't got a chance.".
"Great!" Jim said as he watched through binoculars. He saw the Firebolt had passed the Comet and was fast approaching the bridge.
"Okay, here it comes!" Jim yelled.
Freddy pressed down hard on the detonator, but nothing happened.
He looked confused.
"Come on, for God's sake! He's crossing the bridge!" Jim yelled.
The Firebolt crossed over the bridge as Freddy continued to press the plunger down but nothing happened.
The Firebolt cleared the bridge and Freddy pressed down on the detonator one last time. There was an explosion and the bridge was destroyed.
"DAMN!" Freddy yelled. "Our first attempt to stop a Cannonballer and we screw up! Our reputation will be in tatters!".
"Oh, quit whinging!" Jim said. "We lost that guy, but there's no way the others can cross!".
The Comet approached the gap left by the explosion.
"Is there a river below us?" Tails asked.
"Yep!" Sonic replied. He pressed the button to close the canopy on the car.
"Prepare to crash dive!" Knuckles yelled.
The Porsche launched itself and landed in the river. It sped off downstream as Freddy and Jim watched on, dumbfounded.
Before they could react, they saw the XXS Tomcat take off into the sky to fly over the gap.
Next, the Hyperion came up to the gap and halted.
"I think I know what to do here, Gromit." Wallace said. He backed the Hyperion up a bit.
"Engage afterburner." he said to Gromit.
Gromit nodded and flicked a switch. A burst of flame shot from the exhaust of the Hyperion.
"TALLY HO!" Wallace yelled as the Hyperion was propelled forward. They cleared the chasm completely.
"I'm glad that we still have Turbo Boost in this car." Michael Knight said as the Phoenix neared the chasm.
"Press it now, Michael!" KITT said.
Michael hit the button and they jumped the gap completely.
Freddy and Jim couldn't believe their eyes.
"Holy shit!" Freddy whispered.
"Maybe Marcus and Regis will have better luck." Jim said.
About twenty miles up the road, Marcus and Regis were coming up on the Freeway.
"Let's see what this joker's made of!" Marcus said. "You got your shotgun?".
"Yeah." Regis said as hee cocked the gun and leaned out the window. Marcus pulled up alongside the Freeway.
"Okay, big man!" Regis yelled. "Pull over or say goodbye to your head!".
The Terminator turned to look at Regis. With a quick move, he took one hand off the handlebars and grabbed the shotgun.
Regis let out a yelp of surprise and tried to struggle but the cyborg yanked the shotgun from his hands.
"This is a very dangerous weapon." The Terminator said. "I think I'll hold on to it.".
The Terminator overtook the Subaru and suddenly turned to block the road.
Marcus brought the car to a halt.
"What the hell's this clown doing?" Marcus said.
"Get out of the car." The Terminator said as he pointed the gun at the two. The two thugs got out of the car.
"Okay, what do you want?" Regis asked nervously.
"Are you police?" The Terminator asked.
"No." Marcus replied.
"Good." The Terminator said as he aimed the gun right at the engine of their car.
"SHIT!" Marcus yelled as he and Regis dove for cover.
The Terminator fired the shotgun and the Subaru exploded.
Marcus and Regis looked on, dumbfounded.
"Happy motoring." The Terminator said as he roared off.
"That son of a bitch!" Regis yelled.
"Call the boss. Tell him we need a new car." Marcus said.
Meanwhile, in the roadhouse, Hagar had defeated just about everyone at arm wrestling.
"Shit!" Ripper said as he rubbed his sore arm. "You've been working out!".
"Not really." Hagar laughed
Hagar looked at the window and saw Eddie, who gave him a thumbs up.
"Well, then gentlemen, if that's all, I'll be going.".
"Wait!" Spider yelled. "Can you give us a song first?".
"A song?!" Hagar exclaimed.
"Yeah, come on!" Ray yelled. "Can you sing Born To Be Wild?".
The other bikers began to cheer and whoop. Hagar sighed.
"Okay." he said as he climbed on a tabletop. "Here we go. Music?"
"Here we go!" Pitbull said as he slid a coin into the jukebox and the song began to play. Hagar sang along.
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
We're never gonna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
We're never gonna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born To Be Wild by Steppenwolf
After the song ended, the bikers cheered. They accompanied Hagar to the door.
"Thanks. Bye. See you soon!" Hagar yelled as he got into Thor.
"Come on, let's go before they realise what we did!" Eddie yelled.
Hagar powered up the engine of Thor and the huge vehicle roared off.
"Those guys were okay." Ray said. "Okay, boys, let's get outta here!".
The bikers mounted their cycles and got ready to head off, but nothing happened when they tried to start their bikes.
"What the hell?" Ray said as he checked his gauges. "I'm outta gas!".
"Me too!" said Ripper.
The other bikers reported the same. They all glared after Thor, which was now about half a mile away.
"Those Cannonballers are gonna pay!" Ray growled. "Ripper, go get us some gas, then we go after those losers!".
A few days later…
"Alright, people." Misty said "It won't be long until our racers cross the border into Mexico and continue through Latin America, the second stage of the race.".
"Things are going excellently so far." Lazlow said. "Let's check in with our reporters in Vice City.".
In Vice City, WWE commentators Michael Cole and Tazz addressed the camera.
"Thanks, Lazlow." Michael Cole yelled. "It's great here in Florida.".
"And one thing is certain, Cole!" Tazz said. "These racers are gonna tear each other to pieces to get their hands on the prize money.".
"So, guys, any news on the racers?" Kat asked.
"Yeah. The PCJ-600 and the Road Kill have both entered the city and others are gaining." Michael replied.
"We've heard from our California reporters that the pack who took the Washington route are nearly over the border into Texas." Tazz said. "These guys in Florida have got some catchin' up to do!".
"Thanks guys." Max Headroom said. "What a g-g-g-g-.." Max started to stutter uncontrollably. Lazlow quickly closed his laptop.
"I'll get one of our technicians to check him out later." Lazlow said laughing.
"Well, here's hoping everything goes okay.". Misty said.
In Vice City, the Road Kill was driving through the streets, when suddenly, a Mitsubishi Evo nearly hit them.
"What the hell?" Toretto exclaimed. Both cars came to a halt.
The door of the Evo opened and a tall man with blond hair got out.
"HEY! Why don't you look where you're going?!" he yelled.
Toretto recognised the man and got out of the Road Kill.
"Brian O'Connor." he said. "You son of a bitch!".
Brian turned a bit pale.
"Dom." he said simply.
A black man got out of the Evo. "Hey, Brian! The hell ya doin'?! Who's this guy?!".
"Be quiet a minute, Rome." Brian said to his partner, Roman Pearce.
Toretto walked up to Brian. He eyed Brian up and down for a few seconds. Both he and Brian remembered what had happened a few years before when Brian had helped Toretto escape when he was supposed to arrest him.
Toretto was angry that Brian had lied and infiltrated his group, but he was grateful that Brian had not turned him in.
After a long pause, Toretto stuck out his hand. Brian nervously took it and Toretto shook his hand.
"Thanks for what you did, Brian." Toretto said.
"So, are we even?" Brian asked.
"Maybe." Toretto said. "I heard you're still street racing."
"Yep. I really loved it. Still do." Brian said. "This is my partner, Rome.".
Roman nodded hello. "Rome, this is Dominic Toretto.".
"Yeah, I know. You've mentioned him enough." Roman said as he shook Toretto's hand.
Memphis got out of the Road Kill.
"Look, Dom, I'm sure this reunion or whatever it is, is really touching, but we have a race to run!" he snapped.
"A race?" Brian said. "You guys come down here to challenge the local crew?".
"If you have, you're in for a tough ride." Roman said. "Brian here learned from the best.".
"Yeah, he did." Toretto said. "He learned from me. No, actually, wqe're racing in the Cannonball Run.".
"Are you serious?!" Brian asked.
"Yeah, we are." Memphis said. "And the sooner we finish talking to you, the sooner we can get on with it!".
"Gotta go." Toretto said.
"Just a second, Dom." Brian said. "If you ever need a favour, just let me know, 'cause I think I still owe you for all the lies I told you.".
Toretto thought for a second. "Okay." he said. "Give me your number.".
Toretto wrote down the phone number that Brian gave him. He then climbed back in the Road Kill with Memphis and they took off.
"That is an intense guy." Roman said.
"Yeah, and he's also the best." Brian said. "If I know him, he'll be first across the finish line.".
In Texas, the Phantom was speeding along, with the Cobalt not too far behind them.
"This is great!" Riku yelled as he drove the huge black car. "In about twelve hours, we'll be over the border and into South America!".
"You're doing great, Reek!" Sora said.
"Thanks. You were great yourself!". Riku said.
"Okay, guys!" Cid said. "Let's give it all we've got!".
In the Cobalt, John McClane was driving.
"Yippi-ki-ay!" he yelled. "We better make sure these guys don't stay ahead of us for too long!".
"Let's go!" Buffy yelled.
Not far behind them, the Hotring Racer was roaring down the highway.
"YEH! YEH! LET'S GO!" Beavis yelled to Butthead.
"I'm going!" Butthead yelled as he drove, banging his head along to the Metallica track that was playing on the radio.
"I get to drive next, okay Corvax?" the Nomad said.
"Alright, don't worry!" Corvax said. "We should catch up soon. This car's speed is matched only by the lightning from the heavens!".
The Cannonballers sped on into the night.
The next day…
In his office, Captain Harris was listening to a report from one of his junior officers.
"These guys are as tough as hell to catch, Captain, and they're about to cross the border into South America.".
"Well, they'll have us on their tails every step of the way once again." Harris said. "Get my chopper ready! I'm going into the field!".
"Yes, sir." the officer said as he saluted.
"Our racers are all now just an hour away from entering South America." Lazlow said to the camera. "The race so far has been incredibly gripping.".
"We'll see how they perform when they enter the tougher climates of South America, Antarctica and Africa soon." Kat said.
"But for now, we're signing off. This is Misty.."
"Lazlow"
"Kat"
"And Max, signing off.
As they barrelled through Texas, Dick Dastardly's Villains Society cheered.
"When we get across that border, we can start to play some REAL hardball!" Dastardly said.
"I can hardly wait." Fearless Leader yelled.
The Villains cheered again as they sped on.
TO BE CONTINUED.
NOTE: There you go! Hope you liked it! Don't know when the next will be up, but watch this space.
