My name is Hermione Granger. I know this, you know this. Just about anything I am is what people expect of me. That's my life and it is utterly frustrating. I'm trapped, that's why I am writing this diary, hoping beyond anything that miraculously by writing everything down, that something will change. Hopefully I will change.

The largest problem, I think, is how people see me. All they see is a studious bookworm who excels at her school work. They see a good strong friend, and a moderately attractive young woman. They see my chocolate eyes, but no one, not even my closest friends see what's behind them. I am one confused, fucked up person who drives herself crazy with all that goes on in my head. I am envious of nearly everyone else because of how they live. They seem so free, and confident. They can just be themselves, wear what they want, date and have fun, and they don't seem confined by others expectations like I am. I feel so trapped I feel claustrophobic all the time. I feel like I can't change who I am because I feel obligated to uphold what everyone sees in me. I can't change even the simplest thing about me like my wardrobe because I fear the endless questions and reactions that are bound to be thrown at me. And the most painful part is that I can't tell anyone. I don't think that I have anyone who would really understand me. Hell I don't even understand myself. Harry might seem like a good ear, I mean he has loads more responsibility and pressures of others expectations on his shoulders. The whole wizarding world rests on his shoulders, you might ask why not tell him. Part of my reasoning is that he looks to me for support. I'm supposed to be able to be there for him and be strong for him. How could I do that if he knew how weak I am. The other part is just a gut feeling I have. I'm not sure what it is, but its like I can feel that there is someone a perfect someone who would be able to listen to me, help me and most importantly not judge me.

Listen to me ramble like that, silly of me really. I don't feel like I accomplished anything yet. You know Hermione, you really do need to get your act together. Your head girl, the school year is just about to start, and like you mentioned before, everyone is counting on you to be there, like you always are. It would be very unlike myself to let anyone down. Dear god, look at the time, I really do need to get my ass to bed. Oh well, tomorrows just another day, and the beginning of another year.