CANNONBALL RUN 4: HIGH OCTANE
by The Turbo Man
CHAPTER NINE:
EXCITEMENT IN THE EAST
DISCLAIMER: If you don't know it by now, you mustn't have been paying attention. Special thanks again to my brother Luke for his help with parts of this chapter.
In Los Angeles, Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington, the two vocalists of Linkin Park, walked up the gangplank of the cruise ship called the Sea Phantom. Walking along the deck, they approached a kiosk that Jack, Shrek and Donkey had set up to handle the betting.
Standing near it were the Backstreet Boys.
"Hey, guys. How are you doing?" A.J. called to Chester and Mike.
"Just great. What about you guys?" Chester replied.
"Great." Howie said. "All of us bet on the Purple Haze and it seems to be doing well.".
"Hey, guys." Jack called to Chester and Mike. "Looking for news on the Dragon?".
"Yeah, Jack." Mike said. "We got a bit worried when it dropped back in Russia.".
"Well, it's moving up the field, but still has some catching up to do." Jack replied.
Ozzy Osbourne and the Lone Rangers approached.
"Hey, Shrek. You've got to give me some bloody news on Thor!" Ozzy said. "I bet near five million on them!".
"Charming language." Donkey said.
"Watch it, Donkey!" Ozzy said, partly joking. "Or I'll bite your head off!".
Donkey gave him a 'yeah, right' look.
"Thor is moving up the field, but has about a dozen racers ahead of it.". Shrek said. He looked at the Lone Rangers. "Who did you three bet on?".
"Well, Rex and Pip bet on the Phantom and I bet on the Direwolf." Chazz said.
"Those two cars have been snapping at each others' heels for most of this race." Jack said. "They're near the front, but not quite in the lead.".
"Damn!" Rex said. "I hope I don't end up losing my Viper!"
"Your Dodge Viper?!" Chazz said.
"Well, I didn't have much cash on me when I came here, so I bet the title to my car instead." Rex said.
"I told you it was a dumb thing to do!" Pip said.
"Well, you never know what might happen." Donkey said. "The race isn't over yet.".
"Okay, folks. The racers are now going through Asia." Lazlow said.
"Some have gone through Mongolia, others through Iran. But they're all heading for China and eventually Japan, where they will take the next Cannonball Bridge to Australia." Misty said.
"We've heard from Mr. Yates that the prize money will be delivered to the boat in a couple of weeks, but it'll sure be risky keeping an eye on it." Kat said.
"Accor-cor-cor-cording to our bookmakers, the Van Itty is in the lead at pre-pre-present." Max said. "But our racers will give no quarter as they jockey for position!".
"And now, let's go over to Ali G on the stage. The band is getting ready to start!" Lazlow said.
Nickelback were on stage. Ali G came out in front of them to address the crowd.
"AWRIGHT, PEOPLE!" he said. "It's time for da festivities to continue. Here now is Nickelback with a song called Mean Street Machine! YEAH!".
The crowd went wild as the band started playing.
End of the week, cut me loose
Headin' into town tonight
Fuel injected flat black chrome
It's enough to start a fight
Looking for girls, looking for love
Lookin' for a little fun
If you're looking for trouble just get in my way
Cos I'm looking out for number one
Drive down...
Saturday night's the best
Only way around
Is my Mean Street Machine
Drive down...
Saturday night's the best
Only way around
Is my Mean Street Machine
Out in the street it's the same old scene
Watching as the night goes by
Well-dressed, hard-pressed pretty boys
Looking for a reason why
It's a one-way street one-way ride
One way to the top
If the word's a chance at the finish line
And I ain't gonna stop
Drive down...
Saturday night's the best
Only way around
Is my Mean Street Machine
Drive down...
Saturday night's the best
Only way around
Is my Mean Street Machine
Too many nights, too many cars
Been hanging on the same old strip
Dreams seem easy but they never come true
It's an old familiar trip
Round and round and nothing done
Never worry about the people I've seen
Locked in a groove and there's no way out
And I'm tearin' up the street
Drive down...
Saturday night's the best
Only way around
Is my Mean Street Machine
Drive down...
Saturday night's the best
Only way around
Is my Mean Street Machine
(Mean Street Machine, Mean Street Machine)
On a Saturday night
Just me and you baby
Whoa!
My Mean Street, my mean street machine
Late on a Saturday night
My Mean Street, Mean Street Machine
Tearin' up the street...
Mean Street Machine by King Kobra
In their office, Lex Luthor, the Red Skull and Ansem were talking.
"Jennifer and Elizabeth are in LA, following Mr. Needham's movements." Ansem said. "Our agents are still in the field.".
"I've dispatched another of our agents." Lex said. "I just hope he won't run into Michael Knight, because the last thing we need is him getting involved in personal business.".
"It's KARR, isn't it?" the Skull asked.
"Yes." Luthor replied. "I've had to send new vehicles to some of our agents in addition.".
"How they get their cars wrecked is unbelievable." Ansem said.
"It's of no consequence." the Skull said. "As long as they delay the racers, I'm willing to replace a few cars.".
"And I've sent some of my minions into the field." Ansem said. "They will not fail.".
"Let's hope not. The racers are going through China now.". Luthor said. "We have plenty of time. I also have an idea I wanted to run by you two.".
"Fire away." Ansem said.
"After we find out where the money is and take it, we kidnap Mr. Needham, then go by the Sea Phantom and abduct Mr. Yates as well.".
"For what purpose?" the Skull asked.
"For ransom of course. We will have the $200 million and a little bonus." Luthor said, smiling.
"Excellent!" Ansem said. "A brilliant idea!".
"Then let's do it.". The Skull said. "Shall I send word to Jennifer and Elizabeth to move on Needham now?".
"Wait a while." Luthor said. "I want to see how our racing friends cope in the Orient.".
China....
The Burrito was being chased along a mountain road by several police cars.
"One of these guys is catching up with us, Fred!" Shaggy yelled. "Gun it!".
"I'm gunning it!" Fred replied. "I don't want us to have an accident.".
"Open the back doors a minute, guys!" Daphne said.
"Rot ror?" Scooby asked.
"Just do it! We have an idea!" Velma said. She and Daphne were holding paintball guns.
Scooby and Shaggy opened the back doors and Daphne and Velma fired paintballs at their pursuers.
As the paint splattered on the windscreens of the cop cars, the drivers were blinded.
Two of the cop cars swerved off the road and went down the steep hillside, heading right for a small farm.
One car ploughed right through a rice paddy, sending dirt and water flying into the air.
The other one came to a stop after crashing through a wooden hut and hitting a large dirt mound.
"That takes care of them for now." Velma said. "Now just get us out of here, okay Fred?".
"Will do." Fred said. Shaggy and Scooby closed the back doors and Fred put his foot down on the gas pedal.
Meanwhile, the Typhoon and the Titan were still engaged in a battle. Both vehicles had damage from their fight, but they were still going at it.
"EAT THIS, DO GOODERS!" Fearless Leader yelled as he fired lasers at their pursuers.
"You'll have to do better than that!" Alex said as she avoided the shots by swerving the off-roader violently.
"Muttley, open the fuel chamber door and throw a couple of empty barrels in the road." Dick Dastardly said. "That should slow them down a bit.".
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Muttley said as he headed down into the fuel chamber.
He pulled a lever and a hatch at the rear of the huge vehicle opened.
"Hello, hello, what have we here?" Austin said. "I think I know a way to slow our friends down.".
"Do it, Austin!" Natalie said.
As Muttley prepared to push some empty oil barrels out, he saw the Typhoon fire a red ray into the chamber.
"Uh, oh." Muttley said. The ray hit a roll of paper, which the Villains used for wiping their hands after pumping fuel, and the roll caught fire. The fire caught some oil that had been spilt.
In a panic, Muttley ran upstairs to the cockpit.
Baron Harkonnen saw the warning lights.
"Fire in the fuel chamber!" he yelled.
"How bad is it?" Jafar asked.
Nimnul checked a videoscreen. "It's about to hit the other barrels.".
"Drat!" Dastardly yelled. "I'll have to eject the chamber.".
"Then do it, before we're blow sky high!" Shredder yelled.
Dastardly pressed a red button. A steel shield closed over the doors and the fuel chamber was detached from the huge vehicle, leaving a large gap at the back of the vehicle.
The Typhoon swerved around the detached chamber and Alex activated their booster.
Behind them was a gigantic explosion as the fuel chamber exploded.
"Bet the road workers will be out in full force after this race.". Dylan said.
"Didn't I say we'd show those bad guys?" Alex said.
"No you didn't. I did." Natalie said.
"I believe it was me who said that." Austin said.
"Come on, guys, let's not have that argument again." Dylan said as they drove on.
In the Titan, the villains were annoyed.
"Now we'll have to make fuel stops like everyone else!" Captain Hook grumbled.
"Well, look on the bright side." Cyril Sneer said.
"And what is the bright side, exactly?" Fearless Leader said.
"I would say the bright side is that we're still alive." Fulgore said.
"Yes, plus our vehicle is still powerful enough to win the race." Brain said.
"Oh, right." Yosemite Sam said. "Well come on, Dick. Floor it!".
"I'm flooring it!" Dastardly replied as he put his foot down.
The Interceptor was roaring along the road. Max was feeling pretty good and had started whistling to himself.
He didn't notice a black Acura Integra coming up behind him. If he had, he would have noticed that the vehicle had no driver.
The Acura was the new form of the evil computer-controlled vehicle KARR.
"Aha!" KARR said to himself. "A Cannonballer. Mr. Luthor told me to show no mercy to these racers, so I will not.".
KARR steered towards the rear of the Interceptor and rammed into the back of it, nearly knocking Max off the road.
"What the hell?" Max yelled as KARR bumped him again.
KARR drove up alongside the Interceptor and rammed into its side,.
Max rammed the black car back, but it seemed to do no damage.
There were some oncoming cars, but KARR did not move to try and avoid them. The oncoming cars swerved and went into the ditch at the side of the road.
"You could have killed those people!" Max yelled at the driverless car.
"I don't care!" KARR replied. A small panel opened on KARR's side, revealing a laser gun. The gun fired several beams at the Interceptor.
Max tried to accelerate away, but KARR could move fast and managed to keep up with him.
Suddenly, a round of machine gun fire was shot at KARR.
"What?" KARR said in confusion.
Max looked behind and saw the Tiberius approaching. A machine gun turret had extended from the bonnet of the blue car.
"Consider this us returning the favours you did us in the States and the Arctic, Max!" Secret Squirrel yelled. "Now get out of here and let us handle this creep!".
"Okay, fellas! Thanks!" Max said as he pushed the Interceptor into high gear and drove away.
KARR dropped back a little and the laser gun on his side turned around to face the Tiberius.
"You made a big mistake." KARR said as he fired laser blasts at the Tiberius.
"We'll soon see who is mistaken!" Morocco said as he trained the gun's sights on KARR's engine.
Morocco fired a volley from the gun and KARR's bonnet was hit, but unmarked.
"Bullets don't penetrate!" KARR said smugly.
"Really?" Secret said. "Then try this on for size!".
Secret fired a ray from one of the Tiberius' headlights.
Suddenly, KARR slowed down and started moving at about thirty miles an hour.
"What's going on?" KARR said, his voice sounding slowed down.
"You'll have to get used to going slow for about five hours!" Morocco said happily as the Tiberius sped on.
"Damn!" KARR said. "When I get back to normal speed, those racers will pay!"
Tourists walking along the Great Wall of China got the shock of their lives as they saw the Behemoth Base approaching the huge structure.
Without slowing down, the vehicle crashed through the wall, leaving a huge hole.
"That'll piss the cops off." Steve-O said. "Are you sure it was wise to do that?".
"Don't worry." Johnny said. "The Cannonballers made a hole in the wall last year, and it got fixed.".
"Yeah, well just be careful." Ryan said as he looked in their mirror and saw a dragnet of police cars hot on their trail. "The bears are coming out in full force!".
"No problem!" Johnny said.
He hit their turbo and the huge vehicle shot off.
In Beijing, Ms. Foyt exited a small shop. She was carrying a silver puzzle box. She was trying to figure it out, but was having trouble.
"No problem to solve my ass!" she grumbled to herself.
Sitting in the street was Van Pelt's jeep. Sitting in it were Van Pelt and Benedict. Also there, near their truck were Michael Myers and Leatherface.
"We're going into the field again to catch a Cannonballer." Benedict called to Foyt.
"Good for you." she said sarcastically. "Try not to get your asses kicked.".
"Why aren't you coming with us?" Van Pelt asked.
"I don't know about you, but I could use a break after getting beaten so many times so far. There's this restaurant with great herbal tea. Hopefully that should calm me down." Foyt said.
"Well, if you say so." Benedict said. "Catch us up when you're ready.".
"What would Mr. Luthor say if he knew you were taking a break on the job?" Van Pelt said.
"Mr. Luthor can kiss my ass!" Foyt snapped. She grunted in frustration as once again, she failed to solve the puzzle box.
"Hopeless!" she said to herself. She looked over at Michael Myers. She threw the puzzle box towards him and he caught it.
"There. Try and exercise your brain a little with that!" she sneered at him.
"Come on, let's go." Benedict said as he started the jeep up. He and Van Pelt drove away, and Foyt headed off down the street for the restaurant.
Michael Myers was still fiddling with the puzzle box. As Leatherface looked on, Myers managed to click a piece of the puzzle into place.
Out on the road, the Mantis was being chased by a police car. Up ahead in the road, two large containers full of fish had been set up, blocking the road.
Leo diCaprio sneered when he saw it.
"Yawn, another roadblock." he said. "Don't they know by now that roadblocks can't stop Cannonballers?".
"Well, it just shows how little imagination the police have, doesn't it?" Keanu said.
Giving Keanu a mischievous look, Ben said "You mean as little imagination as the Wachowski brothers?".
"Oh come on! The two Matrix sequels weren't that bad!" Keanu protested.
"Tell that to all the sci-fi fans all over the world." Ben replied.
"Like you can talk about good movies, Mr. Gigli!" Keanu replied
"Well..." Affleck stammered trying to think of a retort. "At least neither of us had to yell "I'm the king of the world!"
"That won Oscars!" DiCaprio said indignantly
"Leo, are you going to just ram the roadblock or use the usual method?" Donald asked impatiently.
"The usual method I think, Donald!" Leo said as he raised the upper body of the car to reveal the missile launcher again.
"Okay." he said as he trained the crosshairs on the roadblock. "Hasta luego, roadblock!".
Two missiles were fired from the launcher and each container was destroyed, sending fish flying into the air.
As the Mantis sped through the wrecked roadblock, some more police cars joined the chase and were hot on the tail of the green car.
Ben pressed a red button, but a loud buzz sounded.
"Damn!" he said. "Our turbo needs to recharge!".
"How long?" Keanu asked.
"An hour.".
"Shit!" Leo said. "Just hold on! These guys won't catch us!".
"Hey, Keanu." Donald said. "You want to bet that we can lose the cops before our turbo recharges?".
"How much?" Keanu asked.
"$1000." Donald said. "Loser pays.".
"You're on!" Keanu said as he shook Donald's hand.
Michael Myers and Leatherface were still standing by their truck in Beijing. Leatherface was impatiently watching Myers, who had nearly completed the strange puzzle box.
Myers smiled to himself as he slid the final piece of the puzzle into place. As he did, there was a flash of lightning from the box.
Both masked men were a bit startled. Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling. No one apart from the two killers seemed to notice it.
Suddenly, a crack appeared in the side of a building and the wall of the building parted to reveal a dark passageway.
From the passage, emerged four terrifying figures in black leather clothes. The leader had white skin, and nails sticking into his head, like a human pincushion. The second figure was a bald-headed, white-skinned woman.
The third, a fat figure, was wearing sunglasses and the final figure had slits for eyes and teeth, which were chattering.
It was the Cenobites, creatures from Hell.
"Who has summoned us?" the leader, known as Pinhead, asked.
Michael Myers' nervousness passed and he stepped forward.
The Female Cenobite looked him up and down.
"Michael Myers." she said. "Your name has been mentioned many times in the Underworld.".
Pinhead smiled. "It has been our hope for many years to introduce you to the suffering of Hell. I am sure that we shall become greatly acquainted with each other.".
Myers held up his hands and made a few gestures.
"You have a proposition for us?" The Female asked. "And why should that interest us?".
Leatherface came forward and he too started to gesticulate. The Cenobites watched patiently as the two silent men got their point across.
"There are racers going all over the world, and they are now in this continent." The Female said.
"And if we help you catch them, you will let us have them to torture." Pinhead said.
Myers and Leatherface nodded.
"Very well, then." Pinhead said. "We accept your proposition. Shall we go?".
Myers and Leatherface smiled under their masks.
Freddy and Jim's Vanquish was chasing the Van Itty down the road leading into Beijing.
"Alright. Hopefully we'll have more luck this time!" said Jim, who was now driving.
"They can't keep ahead of us for much longer!". Freddy said. "Keep your foot down!".
"These guys are right on top of us!" Invisible Boy said.
"Don't worry." Blue Raja said. "They'll have to get up pretty early in the morning to get the better of us!".
The Vanquish moved up alongside the Van Itty. Laughing to himself, Jim rammed the car into the side of the minivan.
Invisible Boy kept his eye on the road and kept driving.
Jim rammed into their side again and they went off to the side of the road.
Gritting his teeth, Invisible Boy steered back onto the road.
"I think you should teach these guys a lesson in etiquette, Jeff." Doc Heller said to Blue Raja.
"It will be my pleasure!" Blue Raja said.
As the Vanquish moved up alongside them again, Blue Raja rolled down his window and pulled several knives and forks out of his sleeves.
With great accuracy, he threw the knives and forks at the tyres of the other car. There was a loud hiss as the tyres started to deflate.
"Shit!" Freddy yelled.
"That's not the end of it." Doc Heller said. "IB, can you drive backwards?".
"Sure I can!" Invisible Boy said.
"Then turn us around a minute.".
"Right!".
With great skill, Invisible Boy turned the Van Itty around so that they were facing the Vanquish.
Doc Heller activated the drill. It shot out of the minivan's front and punctured the front radiator of the Vanquish.
The car started to leak oil as its engine was damaged.
Jim angrily brought the car to a halt.
The Van Itty twirled around again so that it faced the right way and drove on.
"Great!" Freddy said, annoyed. "Another write off!".
"Do you want to tell the guv'nor, or should I?" Jim asked wearily.
The Hyperion was speeding through Beijing, but was having trouble going through traffic.
"This traffic is murder!" Wallace said. "I'd use the missiles, but I don't want to cause trouble.".
He turned to face Gromit.
"Looks like it's plan B, lad!" he said.
Wallace quickly turned the Hyperion to the left and began to drive down an alley.
Behind him, the Buckshot was caught in traffic as well.
At the steering wheel, Conker had seen Wallace drive down the alley.
"Well, well." he said. "Two can play at that game! Hang on tight, Crash!".
"You gonna follow him?" Crash asked.
"Sure I am! That guy ain't no match for the Buckshot!" Conker yelled.
Honking his horn, Conker drove the Buckshot forward and turned down the alley.
As the sedan turned into the alley and sped down it in pursuit of the Hyperion, Gromit spotted them in the mirror.
He tapped Wallace on the shoulder.
Wallace looked behind them and saw the Buckshot chasing them.
"Hang on, Gromit!" Wallace yelled.
He accelerated the Hyperion down the alley. Taking a sharp right turn, he turned into another alley.
The Buckshot stayed on his tail, sometimes banging off the walls in the alleyway.
"Uh, I think we're too big for this alley." Crash said nervously.
"Shut up!" Conker yelled as he put his foot down.
Wallace hit a few garbage cans, knocking them over in an attempt to block the Buckshot's way.
"You'll have to do better than that!" Conker yelled.
The sedan hit some of the cans, sending them flying into the air.
The Hyperion weave through various allies, still with the Buckshot on their tail.
As they reached an intersection, Wallace hit the booster to avoid a truck coming from his left.
As he sped on, he laughed as he saw the truck blocking the path of the Buckshot.
The Buckshot screeched to a halt to avoid hitting the truck.
Conker angrily honked the horn.
"Come on, buddy! Move it!".
"That should keep him busy!" Wallace said as he steered back onto the main streets and drove on.
Ms. Foyt was standing by a fountain outside the Forbidden City and was admiring the scenery.
"Lovely." She said to herself as she sat down on the edge of the fountain. "It's just like the Cannonballers to cause chaos in such a peaceful place, but they aren't going to ruin my mood now.".
Suddenly, there was the roar of an engine nearby and Foyt sat bolt upright.
"No way!" she said to herself.
Honking its' horn, the Road Kill drove through the crowded area.
"Look out, people! We're coming through!" Dominic yelled.
"Watch out for the fountain!" Memphis yelled at Dominic.
The Road Kill was heading straight for the fountain.
Foyt quickly jumped out of the way as the black car narrowly missed hitting the fountain.
As the Road Kill sped on, Foyt shook her fist in rage at the retreating car.
"That does it!" she yelled. "When the going gets tough, THE TOUGH GET GOING!".
She headed over to a parked Mustang, the latest car Luthor had given her and Benedict, and got into it.
She started up the engine and took off after the Road Kill.
The Linerunner sped down the road outside Beijing. The four Cenobites were standing on the hood.
All four had long chains with sharp hooks attached to them.
"The Cannonballers shall soon experience the ultimate pain." Pinhead said to his companions.
"Indeed they shall." the Female answered.
Leatherface gunned the trucks' mighty engine.
"AH!" Pinhead said. "Our first victim!".
In front of them was the Interceptor.
Max was listening to some loud music on his radio and hadn't noticed the huge truck coming up behind him.
"Okay." he was saying to himself. "No sign of anyone else yet. I can still win this.".
"Let's reel this fool in!" Pinhead said.
The other three Cenobites nodded in agreement and began to swing the chains.
They all threw the chains out at the same time and the hooks were soon embedded in the rear of the Interceptor.
Smiling, Pinhead began to pull on his chain, as did the others. The Interceptor started to slow down a bit.
"What the hell?" Max said. "Must be a bit of mud. I'll soon fix that.".
He reached for the dashboard and activated the Interceptor's nitrous.
The vehicle shot forward at great speed. Pinhead looked alarmed, and he had good reason to be.
The chains were pulled tight, but the speed of the Interceptor was so great that the Cenobites were yanked off the hood of the Linerunner and were dragged along behind the Interceptor.
Max whooped loudly to himself as he sped down the road.
Being dragged along at a high speed was not a good experience for the Cenobites.
"STOP!" Pinhead and the Female chorused. "PLEASE, STOP!".
Max was still playing loud music so he still couldn't hear them.
The Cenobites let go of their chains and fell down to the ground.
All four of them were very sore after this attempt to catch a Cannonballer.
The Linerunner came up to them and stopped.
Pinhead glared up at Myers and Leatherface.
"Next time, we had better catch a Cannonballer, or you two will visit hitherto unknown realms of pain!" he vowed.
Foyt's Mustang was coming up behind the Road Kill. Foyt rammed into the back of the black car.
"Someone wants a little fun." Dominic said. "Shall we oblige them?".
"If you feel we have time." Memphis said.
"Right." Dominic said.
Foyt steered her car up alongside the Road Kill and pulled out her gun.
Dominic quickly hit the brakes and let her overtake them.
He then pushed the Road Kill into high gear and hit the rear of the Mustang.
"Damn!" Foyt said.
The Mustang hit a hillside and the Road Kill sped on.
Foyt steered her car back onto the road and took off after the Road Kill again.
"I'll get your bald ass, pal!" she said.
As Dominic saw the Mustang coming up behind him again, he looked up ahead and saw a car pulling a large house trailer going across a crossroad in front of him.
Smiling, he steered the Road Kill around it and activated their nitrous.
Foyt could not stop before hitting the trailer and crashed right through it.
"SHIT!" she yelled as she came through the other side of the trailer. Her car was wrecked and came to a halt.
"So much for that." Memphis said as the two sped on.
The Mantis was still being chased by the police.
"45 minutes." Donald said, looking at his watch.
"We may still lose them.". Ben said.
"Look up ahead." Keanu said.
The High Roller was on the road in front of them.
The Mask looked in his mirror and saw the Mantis and its' pursuers coming up behind him.
"Hello. Fellow Cannonballers in a spot of bother. Think we should help them out, Milo?".
Milo barked a positive response.
The Mask stuck his hand out his open window and waved the Mantis on.
Leo put his foot down and swerved past the High Roller.
As the cop cars moved to follow, the Mask swerved the High Roller around so he blocked their path.
"He's going to break the pack up." Donald said.
The High Roller let one of the cop cars pass him and it took off after the Mantis.
The High Roller turned and went the other way, pursued by the two other cop cars.
"Right, now to lose this guy." Leo said as the cop car moved up on them.
They were now on a hillside road.
Without warning, Leo swerved the Mantis to the left.
The cop car swerved to avoid getting hit and went off the road. The black and white went right down the hillside and came to a halt at the bottom.
The angry cop got out of his vehicle and started to climb up the hillside.
"Now to make sure he can't follow us." Leo said.
He activated the missile launcher and fired a missile at the cop car.
The cop car exploded as it was hit by the missile.
The Mantis sped on.
"Okay, Donald." said Keanu. "That's $1000 you owe me.".
Donald groaned and paid up.
Meanwhile, the two cars chasing the High Roller had come to an intersection of two roads. The road on the left had tyre marks on it.
"(Looks like he went that way.)" one of the Chinese cops said.
"(But that road leads to a dead end!)" his partner said.
"(Well he mustn't have known that! Go after him!)" the first cop said.
The two cop cars went down the left hand road.
Neither of them knew that the Mask had turned and gone overland, so he was now on the right-hand road.
He exited the intersection and sped off, laughing to himself.
"SMOKIN'!" he yelled.
The XXS Tomcat was flying through the air above China.
"We should reach Hong Kong by tomorrow, Mr. McDuck." Gyro reported. "Then we can take the bridge from there over to Japan.".
"Aye. We're making great progress, Gyro." Scrooge said as he maneuvered the vehicle.
Suddenly, there were several loud whooshes and five armoured figures with jetpacks appeared in front of the XXS Tomcat.
"What the..?" Scrooge said.
It was the Dolls.
"You are going no further, Cannonballer!" Isabelle yelled.
The five Dolls shot forward and stared to attack the vehicle with their fists. They were causing large dents in the armour.
"I'll take care of them!" Gyro said.
He activated guns on the sides of the XXS Tomcat and took a few shots at the Dolls, but they were too fast for him to hit.
"You're such a bad aim, it's funny!" Brooke sneered at Gyro.
Suddenly, a blue flash shot towards the Dolls.
Sayuri turned to look and was suddenly struck in the middle by Blue Falcon as he and Dynomutt appeared on the scene.
Falcon yelled over to the XXS Tomcat.
"You get going, Cannonballers! We'll handle this problem.".
"Thanks!" Scrooge called as he descended to the ground.
"You made the biggest mistake of your life, mister!" Isabelle said as she flew over to Blue Falcon.
Nastassja, Vivien and Sayuri joined her as they went forward to attack the hero.
They all rushed him at once, but he was able to push them off.
Brooke went forward to help, but Dynomutt came up behind her and wrapped his extended limbs around her.
"Oh no you don't!" he said.
The other Dolls kept attacking Falcon, but he fought them off each time.
Isabelle went to punch him in the stomach but he dodged and drove his fist into her side and threw her off.
Sayuri went to grab him but he grabbed her arms and swung her around and threw her right into Vivien and Nastassja.
After taking a lot of damage, Isabelle yelled "Let's get out of here!".
Brooke managed to get out of Dynomutt's grasp and followed her sisters as they flew off.
"Well, that'll teach them." Dynomutt said.
"I doubt they'll stop trying to attack our racers." Falcon said. "That's why we must continue fighting. Come on, we must keep our eye on the track.".
The hero and his sidekick flew off.
"Take these losers out, Jessie!" James yelled as Jessie fired blasts from the Direwolf's laser headlights at the Phantom.
"This'll cramp their style a little!" said Riku, who was now manning the Phantom's cannon.
He fired a blast that hit the Direwolf's headlights dead centre. There was a shower of sparks as the lasers were disabled.
"Blast it!" Jessie yelled. "They just wrecked our laser!".
The Phantom sped on, leaving the angered Rockets behind.
"Those little twerp will pay for that!" Domino said. "Stop a minute and I'll see if I can fix them.".
"Is that wise?" Meowth asked.
"Just do it!" Domino yelled.
Jessie begrudgingly stopped the Direwolf, and Domino got out with a toolkit.
The Stinger 2 was being hotly pursued by several police vehicles.
The rear machine guns of the black vehicle were firing at their pursuers, but they kept on coming.
"These guys are nothing if not persistent!" Tommy said. "We'd better think of something fast or we're toast!".
"Hang on, Tommy. I've got an idea!" Chili said.
They were approaching a fork in the road. Chili turned and went left.
"This takes us off the main road." Tommy said.
"I know." Chili replied. "Just wait and you'll see.".
The Stinger 2 drove down a winding, muddy road with the police still in pursuit.
They passed several electricity poles on the road.
"I'm going to use those poles in a minute." Chili said.
He put his foot down on the accelerator and got a little ahead of the police.
They reached a large, muddy area at the end of the road.
Chili stopped the car and backed up until the tyres were digging right into the mud.
He then gunned the engine, so a lot of mud was thrown up into the air.
The oncoming police cars were blinded as mud covered their windscreens.
"Well done!" Tommy said. "Now get us out of here!".
"Will do." Chili replied.
He quickly turned the Stinger 2 around so that they went past the skidding cop cars and went back up the road they had come down.
"(They're doubling back!)" the lead cop yelled. "(Get after them!)".
Some of the cop cars followed the Stinger 2 back up the road.
"Okay." Chili said. "Now to cause some bother for our friends!".
He rotated the machine guns to face forward and opened fire on the electric poles.
Some of them began to fall to the ground in a shower of sparks.
Chili hit the Stinger 2's nitrous and shot past them to avoid being hit.
Their pursuers all cursed and brought their cars to a halt to avoid hitting the fallen poles.
"Great!" Tommy said. "They won't be bothering us for a while.".
"True." Chili said.
Captain Harris and Proctor, in the Mercedes they had commandeered in Romania, were now chasing the Cobalt.
Harris was pushing the red car for all it was worth, but they were still having trouble keeping up with the Cobalt.
Harris finally managed to move up alongside the Cobalt.
He looked over to yell at John, who was driving.
"You're under arrest! Pull over now!" He yelled.
John flipped him the bird.
"You'll have to catch us first!" John said as he put his foot down.
Harris put his foot to the floor too, and the two cars tried to keep up with each other.
The supercharged Cobalt was much faster, and before long, it had completely overtaken the Mercedes and sped off down the road.
"Shit!" Harris yelled.
"Well, keep going, sir. I'm sure we can catch him.".
"Give me your walkie-talkie a minute, Proctor." Harris said.
Proctor handed Harris his walkie-talkie and Harris spoke into it.
"Harris to Sea Sparrow. Do you read me, Ramjet?".
A few miles up the road, a small helicopter was flying along. Roger Ramjet was piloting it.
"Ramjet here, Captain. I'm not too far ahead of you." He said.
"Keep your eyes peeled for Cannonballers. There's one going up the road. Hang on a minute..."
Harris broke off as he saw the Cobalt up ahead of them, but now moving right towards the Mercedes at high speed.
"Oh, these piss-ants want to play chicken, eh?" Harris said. "Well, then, chicken it is!".
Harris put his foot down on the accelerator and went right towards the Cobalt.
"Sir, I don't think this is wise!" Proctor said as colour drained from his face.
"Oh, shut up!" Harris yelled. "I know what I'm doing!".
The Cobalt showed no sign of slowing down. Harris had started sweating. The Cobalt was about to hit them.
In a panic, Harris quickly swerved off the road and into the bushes.
As he looked over his shoulder, the Cobalt disappeared.
"What?!" he said.
A few miles up the road, John, Buffy and the Shadow laughed to themselves.
"Well done, Shadow! You did it again!" John said.
"It was no problem!" The Shadow said. "Cops have the most clouded minds I ever saw!".
"Okay, John. Get us out of here." Buffy said.
John hit their turbo and they shot forward.
Right above them was the Sea Sparrow. Seeing the racers, Ramjet started to bring the chopper to the ground.
"Alright. Here we go!" he said. "You're all mine, racers!".
The Sea Sparrow was nearly on the ground. Seeing it, the Cobalt kept going.
"What now?" Buffy asked.
"We'll soon see if this whirly-bird is a chicken." John said.
The blue car sped on.
"They've got to stop!" Ramjet said to himself.
The Cobalt kept on coming and was about to hit the Sea Sparrow.
"To hell with this!" Ramjet said as he rose the chopper back into the air to avoid getting hit.
"HA! HA!" John laughed. "So long, buddy.".
The Cobalt accelerated into the distance.
The Phantom had escaped the Direwolf for the time being and was heading down the highway to Hong Kong fast.
Riku had taken over driving and Cid was sitting next to him. Sora and Kairi were in the back.
"This race has been intense so far." Riku said. "Hopefully, those Rocket goons will leave well enough alone now.".
"Here's hoping." Cid said as he rolled his window down and lit up a cigarette.
In the back, Sora and Kairi were having their own conversation.
"It's just incredible that that mask actually has powers." Kairi was saying. "We were all thinking it was just a confidence booster. Not that you would need one, Sora.".
"Oh come on, Kairi. I haven't exactly done anything major." Sora said.
"Yeah, right." she laughed. "What about our little adventure a few years ago? You were great then.".
"Well, I did it to help you, Kairi. You see..."
Suddenly, Riku braked the car hard.
"What the hell are THEY doing here?" he said in disbelief.
"What?" Sora and Kairi chorused.
Cid pointed in front. Sora's jaw dropped open as he saw, emerging from the ground in front of the Phantom, diminutive figures, all black with glowing eyes.
"Heartless." he said. "I don't believe it!".
"They aren't gonna stop us from wining this race!" Riku said as he pushed the car into gear and sped forward.
Some of the Heartless jumped into the air and landed on the roof of the Phantom.
Some others stayed in front of the approaching car and lurched towards it.
Riku opened the front radiator grille and fired a few missiles, knocking the Heartless out of the way, but as they drove on, the ones on the roof tried to break through the rear window.
"Oh, shit!" Kairi said.
One Heartless broke thee window on her side and tried to grab her. She bit it's fingers and it moved it's hand away.
"I'll take care of this.". Sora said. He reached under the seat and pulled out his Keyblade.
As one Heartless began to climb through the window, Sora slashed at it with his sword and dealt it a mighty blow.
The black creature fell off the car and onto the road.
There were still three Heartless on the roof, trying to break into the car.
Behind the Phantom, the Direwolf came along the road, with its' lasers now fixed.
Domino saw the Heartless on top of the Phantom, trying to break in.
"Looks like they've got some trouble." she said.
"So what? That's their problem, not ours." Jessie snorted.
"Well, I think we owe them for helping us back in Africa." James said.
"Shut up, James!" Jessie and Meowth chorused.
"All of you shut up!" Domino said. "I think we should help them, but only once. And as I'm the ranking agent here, that's my final decision.".
The other three Rockets shrugged. "If you say so." they all said.
Domino took careful aim at the Heartless and fired laser blasts at all three.
As soon as the minute monsters were hit, there was a bright flash as each one was destroyed.
Sora looked back and waved to the Direwolf as it came right up behind them.
"Thanks!" he yelled.
"Don't get used to it." Domino replied as the Direwolf overtook the Phantom.
"Okay, hold tight!" Riku said as he put his foot down to catch up with the Direwolf.
"Well, that was a fun little diversion, wasn't it?" Cid said with a little mirth.
"Yeah. Let's hope it doesn't happen again." Kairi said.
The Silver Streak was heading down a long, dark road. Juni was now at the wheel.
"I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you driving, Juni." Alex said.
"Don't worry." Carmen said. "The two of us can handle multi-million dollar submarines and jets. A car is no trouble.".
"Yeah, what's the worst that can happen?" Juni asked.
There was the sound of a loud air horn as the Linerunner suddenly came up beside them and rammed into their side.
Juni wrestled the car back under control.
"That, I guess." Clover said, terrified.
The truck tried to drive them off the road, but Juni fought to stay on the road.
The truck overtook them and came to a halt in front of them.
Juni stopped the Silver Streak.
"I don't like this." he said.
"Hang on. I'm going to give this guy a piece of my mind." Sam said as she got out of the car.
"We're gonna help you." said Clover as she and Alex got out as well.
"Guys, wait!" Juni yelled, but it was too late.
As the three WOOHP spies approached the truck, the door was flung open, and the four Cenobites got out.
The girls' jaws dropped as they saw the freakish creatures. Pinhead was holding a chain with a razor sharp hook at the end. The female had a sharp sickle. The Chatterer and the Butterball were both holding swords with serrated blades.
"Well." Pinhead said. "It seems that we have some Cannonballers in our grasp.".
"We look forward to introducing you to our world." the Female said.
"Who, or what are you?" Sam asked.
"We are Cenobites." Pinhead said. "We offer the ultimate pleasure through the ultimate pain.".
Despite her nervousness, Alex giggled a little.
"S & M is SO yesterday.". She said.
Clover and Sam rolled their eyes.
"This is no time for jokes, Alex." Clover said. "These guys look nasty.".
"You have reached the end of your journey my dears." Pinhead said.
"We have such sights to show you." the Female said.
"You guys aren't going to stop us winning the race.". Sam said.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of WOOHP's Catfight Claws and slid them on her hands.
"You think you can fight us off?" Pinhead asked in amusement. "Then come, let us go to it!".
As Sam rushed Pinhead with her claws at the ready, he swung the chain at her, narrowly missing her.
Sam jumped into the air to avoid getting hit by the hook.
She came back to the ground and dug the claws into Pinhead's shoulder, making him drop the chain.
The three other Cenobites came forward, their weapons at the ready.
Alex and Clover had went back to the Silver Streak and took a pair of long staffs from the back of the car.
Both rushed forward to help Sam.
"Do you think we should help too?" Juni asked Carmen.
"Yeah, let's." Carmen said as she strapped her rocket-powered Buddy pack on her back. Juni did the same and both got out of the car.
As they did, the other door of the truck opened and from it descended Leatherface and Michael Myers. Leatherface saw the two young spies and revved up his chainsaw.
Carmen and Juni looked nervous.
"Oh, shitake mushrooms!" Carmen said.
"I think we should go the other way." Juni said, nodding into the thick brush at the side of the road.
"Yeah, right." Carmen said as she and Juni ran off into the forest.
Raising his chainsaw over his head, Leatherface ran after them. Drawing his dagger, Michael Myers moved slowly after them.
The Chatterer and the Butterball both swung their swords at Alex, but she jumped and flipped to avoid them.
As she landed on the ground, she dug her staff into the ground and swung around on it, delivering well-placed kicks to the midsections of the two Cenobites, knocking them to the ground.
As they fell, they dropped their swords.
Alex picked them up and threw them away.
"Didn't your moms tell you not to play with sharp objects?" she asked.
Clover was fighting with the Female, who kept swinging her sickle at her.
Clover managed to avoid getting hit, and hit the Female in the face with her staff.
"You'll pay for that!" the Female yelled.
"Bring it!" Clover yelled.
Sam was continuing to fight with Pinhead. She had already dealt him several slashes with her Catfight Claws.
"You cannot win." Pinhead said. "You may as well cease your resistance.",
"Not a chance." Sam yelled as he gave him a Kung Fu kick.
The Butterball and the Chatterer began to advance on Alex and she was moving back towards the truck.
As she glanced behind her at the truck, she saw the puzzle box sitting on the seat.
She thought for a second, and then yelled "I have an idea!".
She quickly reached into the truck's cab and grabbed the puzzle box.
"Okay, this looks easy. I was always good at puzzles." she said as she began to slide the pieces into place.
Seeing what Alex was doing, Pinhead yelled "Don't touch that!".
"Oh, but I will." Alex said.
As one piece of the puzzle locked, an orange light enveloped the Chatterer and he disappeared.
The Butterball lunged for Alex, but she slid the next piece into place and he disappeared as well.
Pinhead and the Female both screamed in frustration as Alex finished the puzzle and they disappeared as well.
Sam and Clover looked relieved.
"Well done, Alex!" Sam said.
"Hey, it was nothing. I saw a movie once where these monsters were summoned by a puzzle box, so I...Holy Cow! What about Carmen and Juni!".
"I think we'd better go and help them." Clover said as they headed off into the forest.
Leatherface found himself in a forest clearing. He looked around for the two Spy Kids.
Suddenly, his chainsaw spluttered and came to a halt. It had run out of fuel. In frustration, the huge masked man dropped the weapon.
As he did, Juni suddenly emerged from some bushes behind him. He was chewing several Electro-Shock gumballs.
"Hey, buddy!" he yelled.
As Leatherface turned around, Juni spat the electrified gum at him and it hit him in the head.
Leatherface jerked as he was shocked by the electricity. After a few seconds, he fell to the ground, unconscious.
Juni smiled.
"Look out!" Carmen yelled from her hiding place.
Juni leaped to the side to avoid getting stabbed by Michael Myers as he emerged from the thicket.
As Myers slashed out with his dagger, Carmen activated her buddy pack and flew forward, grabbing Myers and lifting him off the ground.
Myers didn't have time to react.
"Okay, masked man." she said. "I'll teach you not to pick on little kids.".
She raise herself high up into the sky, taking Myers with her.
The masked killer struggled, but Carmen held on hard.
As they got very high up, Carmen flew across to the left until they came to a huge lake.
"Bath time, pal!" Carmen said as she let go of Myers and he plummeted to the ground.
He landed with a loud splash in the water.
Carmen smiled as she flew back to the forest.
Juni headed back to the Silver Streak and ran into the three WOOHP spies as they headed into the forest.
"Juni!" Clover said. "Are you okay?".
"Yeah, I'm fine. The same can't be said for those creeps who attacked us." Juni said.
"Okay." Sam said. "Where's your sister?".
Carmen appeared above them and came in to land in front of them.
"Anyone miss me?" she asked.
"Okay, we were lucky this time, but we've gotta keep our wits about us now." Alex said. "That was a very close call.".
"Yeah, but come on now. We have a race to run.". Carmen said.
The spies rushed back to their car and drove off at high speed.
As they sped down the road, Benedict and Van Pelt saw the Tiberius in front of them.
"At last!" Van Pelt said. "I'd love to see Foyt's face when we bag a Cannonballer.".
"I'll keep driving. You get the shotgun and give them both barrels!" Benedict said.
"Will do." Van Pelt said as he reached under the seat and pulled out a large shotgun.
Secret looked in the Tiberius' mirror and noticed Van Pelt taking aim at them with the shotgun.
"I don't think so." he said to himself.
He pressed a button and a large shield raised out of the back of the car, protecting the rear.
Van Pelt fired a blast from the shotgun, but the shield stopped the shells hitting the car.
Van Pelt kept firing, and the shield started to take damage.
"Just a few more shots, and that shield will be dented." Van Pelt said.
"Keep it up!" Benedict yelled. "They won't lose me!".
Morocco smiled and said "Don't worry, Secret. I'll take care of these guys.".
Morocco pressed a button and dropped a metal ball onto the road from the bottom of the car.
Benedict had not noticed the ball and kept on driving. Van Pelt had run out of shells and was trying to reload the gun. As he finally reloaded, he took aim with the shotgun again.
As the front tyre of the jeep hit the metal ball, the vehicle went up into the air briefly. As Van Pelt was knocked around by the impact, his shotgun discharged into the steering column of the jeep.
"SHIT!" Benedict yelled as he tried and failed to regain control. "You blew the steering out! Hold tight!".
Thee jeep went right off to the side of the road and crashed into a tree.
Benedict and Van Pelt were uninjured but the jeep was wrecked.
"Blast it!" Van Pelt yelled as the Tiberius drove on.
Los Angeles....
"Awright, people!" Ali G said to the crowd. "The band are now going to take things down a bit. Here now for your listening pleasure are Christina Aguilera and Burt Bacharach with The Look of Love!".
The crowd cheered as Christina and Burt took the stage.
"It's a real pleasure working with you Mr. Bacharach." Christina whispered.
"Yeah, the same here." Bacharach said. "Let's do this.".
Burt took his place at the piano, and Christina went to the microphone.
The look of love
Is in your eyes
The look your smile can't disguise
The look of love
Is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard
Well it takes my breath away
I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you
Hong Kong....
The Phantom had stopped to gas up at a station.
They were listening to the song on the radio.
"Hey, guys, turn that up a minute." Kairi said. "I love that song.".
"Yeah." said Cid. "Shera does too. I think I'll give her a call while we're here.".
Cid went over to a phone as Sora and Kairi continued to listen to the song.
You've got the look of love
It's on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight
Let this be just the start
Of so many nights like this
Let's take a lover's vow
And then seal it with a kiss
I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you
Don't ever go
I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you
Don't ever go
Don't ever go
I love you so
The Look of Love by Dusty Springfield.
"That was a lovely song. Don't you think, Sora." Kairi said, walking a little bit away from the Phantom.
"Uh, yeah, sure." Sora said, following her. He looked a little unsure.
"By the way, I saw that drawing you did in the cave back on the island." Kairi said as she moved closer to Sora. "Were you thinking of sharing a paopu fruit with me?".
"Yes, I was." Sora said, a bit nervously.
"You know that they say two people's destinies are intertwined if they share a paopu fruit, right?" Kairi said. "You would want to do that with me?".
"Sure, I would, Kairi." Sora said. "You see, we've been friends for such a long time. We've done just about everything together. When you went missing during that thing with the Heartless, I was worried about what might happen to you.".
"I was worried about you too, Sora." Kairi said. "I was glad to see you made it.".
"I'm glad you're okay too, Kairi. You see...".
"Yes, go on." Kairi said.
"Kairi, I....".
"HEY, GUYS!" Riku yelled over to them.
Sora and Kairi both looked annoyed, but turned to face Sora.
"We're all filled up." Riku said. "Now, come on, let's go!"
Cid headed back over to the Phantom and got in with Riku.
Sora and Kairi shrugged and got in themselves. The black car drove off.
Weeks later....
"Alright, folks. Our r-r-r-racers are now in Japan. The majority of them are now passing through Tokyo." Max reported.
"We now go over live to Tokyo, to Kelsey Grammar, Amber Atkins and Megaman." Misty said.
"Hi there." Megaman said as he waved at the camera. "We're coming to you live from downtown Tokyo. There's a lot of excitement here!".
"Indeed there is." Kelsey Grammar said. "As you may know, Tokyo has a huge street-racing scene. Most of the city's racers have turned out to show their support for the Cannonballers.".
"The racers are mostly passing through the Japanese capital right now." Amber Atkins said. "We believe that the PCJ-600 is leading right now.".
"Thank you very much, guys." Kat said.
"Once again, we wish our racers Godspeed as they battle to reach the bridge to Australia.".
Tokyo....
Priss sped through the neon-lit streets of Tokyo, weaving her way through traffic.
At one point, a truck pulled out in front of her.
She launched a missile from her bike and destroyed the truck's trailer, clearing the road.
In the intact cab of the truck, the driver looked stunned as his trailer was destroyed.
Priss smiled to herself and accelerated onwards.
She looked up ahead and saw a barrier had been set up on the highway. Standing behind the barrier was a lone police officer.
It was Priss' friend and fellow Knight Saber Nene Romanova.
Priss grunted in annoyance and brought the PCJ-600 to a halt. She removed her helmet and smiled at Nene.
"Hi, Nene. How are you?". She asked.
Nene rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Damn it, Priss. You always put me in such an awkward position." she said. "You and your fellow racers could cause a lot of trouble in the city.".
"Hey, it's no big deal." Priss said. "You do realise that if you give me a ticket, it'll cost you." Priss said.
"Yeah, well since no-one's looking this time, I guess I can let you off, but don't you dare tell anyone on the force." Nene said.
She took down the barrier and cleared Priss' way.
"Oh, by the way, Sylia and Linna send you their best wishes. Good luck in the race." Nene said.
"Thanks. I'll do my best." Priss said as she put her helmet back on and drove off.
The Phoenix was being chased by Harris in the Mercedes.
"These guys aren't giving up." Michael said. "KITT, any word on the road up ahead?".
"Yes, Michael. There are roadworks. We may have to take a detour.".
"Hey, we can handle a little thing like that.". Michael said. He put his foot on the gas pedal and they shot onward.
"I am NOT going to lose these guys!" Harris yelled as he gunned the Mercedes. Proctor was getting increasingly nervous.
Up ahead, a large hole had been dug in the road. A large mound of earth was in front of the hole.
The workers looked around as they heard the two cars approaching. They panicked and ran out of the way.
"Okay, buddy." Michael said. "Let's go for it!"
Michael activated their nitrous and the Phoenix shot up the dirt mound and over the hole, completely clearing it.
Harris clenched his teeth and got ready to try the jump himself.
The Mercedes went up the mound and into mid-air.
Without nitrous, the red car simply crashed into the hole and hit the ground twenty feet down.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Harris yelled.
"Looks like we'll need another car, sir." Proctor said.
The Serpent was being chased by two police cars through the city.
"Aren't you going to do something to lose these guys, sir?" Baldrick asked.
"When the moment is right, Baldrick." Blackadder replied.
The cars moved up on either side of the Serpent.
Blackadder smiled and pressed the button for the venom gun.
The gun rotated and shot out its' acid at the car on the right. The tyres of the police car started to dissolve.
The cop had no choice but to bring his car to a halt.
Smiling, Blackadder rotated the gun to face the car on his other side and repeated the process.
As the second cop car came to a halt, Blackadder laughed and drove on.
In a garage in Tokyo, three Tokyo street racers were having a meeting.
"Okay, so that's the plan." Ichiro said. "We show the Cannonballers which way to go, and then close off the street so the police can't follow.".
"This has got to be one of your craziest ideas yet, Ichiro." Makoto said. "But its' worth a shot.".
"Yeah. I hope that American guy who came along will be of some help to us." Ricky grumbled.
"Did someone mention me?" Dice said as he entered the garage.
"Well, if it isn't LA's champion." Ichiro said, with a touch of sarcasm.
"You took your time getting here.".
"Hey, don't worry. I'll do my part to help the Cannonballers." Dice said. "I just hope your buddies can handle it.".
"Of course we can handle it, Yankee boy!" Makoto said.
"Alright, there's no time for arguing." Ichiro said. "Let's get going, and make sure the cops don't give the racers any trouble." Ichiro said.
"Right, Ichiro. You can trust us." Ricky said.
The four racers ran for their vehicles and took to the streets.
Meanwhile, the Bertone Stratos 0, driven by Max Damage had caught up with the Infernus. Marcus and Regis were in the car with him.
"Is this car all you say it is?" Marcus asked Max.
"You bet your ass it is!" Max said. "Let's give these racers a taste of it.".
Lara saw the silver car approaching in the rear view mirror.
"Looks like company." she said.
"Well let's see what he thinks he can do." Mai said.
Max pressed the button that activated the electric ray. The bolts of electricity arced from the front of the Stratos and hit the Infernus.
Max laughed loudly, but then stopped when he saw that no damage was being done.
"What the hell?" he said.
"Good thing we made the car shockproof." Chun-LI said.
Mirai, still in her Moldiver form, reached for the button to activate the minigun.
"If they want to be offensive, I believe we should be defensive." she said.
The Stratos moved up alongside the Infernus.
The three villains looked over at the girls in the Lamborghini.
Regis smiled at them.
"Hey ladies!" he said. "Where have you been all my life? Fancy a date?".
Lara gave Regis the finger and turned the minigun around to aim at the Stratos.
"Uh oh." Marcus said.
"Don't worry." Max said. "The glass is bulletproof.".
"What about the rest of the car?" Marcus asked.
Max looked nervous when he heard that. "I hadn't thought of that." he said.
The Infernus' minigun opened fire on the Stratos, perforating the right side of it with holes.
"Shit!" Max yelled. "Luthor's gonna kill me!"
"Get back behind them and use the laser!" Regis yelled.
Max dropped back behind the Infernus and fired the laser, cutting the minigun off the front of the Infernus.
"Shit!" Mai yelled. "We've lost the gun.".
"Don't worry." Lara said. "We'll be fine without it.".
"Hang on, girls." Mirai said. "I'll take care of these guys.".
Mirai opened her door and flew out of the vehicle.
She flew straight for the Stratos and drover her fist right into the front of the vehicle, crushing the front end completely.
"Oh, shit!" Max yelled. He brought the vehicle to a stop.
Mirai smiled and flew back to the Infernus.
The three villains got out of the wrecked Stratos.
"How are we going to explain this to Luthor?" Max moaned. "This car was one of his private vehicle collection!".
"Oh, quit whining." Marcus said. "We have to get new vehicles.".
A police motorcycle drove up to the three of them.
"Is everything alright here?" the motorcycle cop asked.
"Does it look like everything's okay?" Max said. Suddenly, Max got a bright idea.
"That's a nice bike." he said. With a quick movement he gave the cop a hard punch, knocking him out.
"What are you doing?" Regis asked as Max started to remove the unconscious cop's uniform.
"I'll go after the racers in disguise." Max said.
"What are we supposed to do?" Marcus asked.
"That's your problem." Max said. "Now get out of here!".
Marcus and Regis grumbled to themselves as they went off to call a tow truck for the Stratos.
Malice stopped at a gas station and Austin was filling the car up.
Across the street from them, the Dregs were sitting on their motorcycles.
"Hey, boss, look. It's Stone Cold Steve Austin!" Pitbull said.
"Well, shall we see if he's as tough as he makes out he is?" Ray said.
"Yeah, I think we should." Ripper said.
"Than let's go." Spider said as he revved up his cycle. The rest of the gang followed.
Austin had finished fuelling up Malice. He paid for the gas and got back inside.
ARE WE READY? Asked Death.
"Yeah, we're ready to go." Austin said.
The Dregs' motorcycles came up behind Malice. Ray got off his bike and came up to Austin's window.
"Lookie here, boys." He said. "Big, tough, WWE guy. I'll bet he's not so tough in real life.".
"Look, pal. Why don't you just take yourself off." Austin said. "I ain't got the time to deal with you.".
"Oh, really." Ray said. Ray took out a sharpened coin and scraped the side of Malice with it. The rest of the Dregs laughed.
Austin and Nemesis looked at each other, annoyed.
DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID advised Death.
"There ain't nothin' stupid in kickin' this guy's ass!" Austin said.
He and Nemesis got out of Malice.
The Dregs looked nervous when they saw the huge monster with Austin.
"Uh, look." Ray said nervously. "There was nothing personal..."
Austin kicked Ray in the stomach and then gave him a Stone Cold Stunner.
Ripper and Spider quickly leaped off their choppers and rushed Austin, but Nemesis picked them up and threw them over the top of Malice.
The two thugs hit the ground hard.
Pitbull and a couple of the other bikers got off their hogs but Austin and Nemesis started to fight them, knocking them to the ground.
COME ON! yelled Death. WE HAVE TO GO.
"Okay." Austin said.
"RRAAARR!" Nemesis roared as he got back in the vehicle. Austin got in too and they drove off.
The Dregs picked themselves up and got back on their hogs.
"Let's get them!" Ray yelled.
The Dregs revved up their bike and rode off after Malice.
Ripper moved his bike up alongside Malice, but Austin swerved the car to the right, knocking Ripper up onto the pavement.
Ripper's bike crashed right through a storefront window and Ripper fell off the bike.
"Pitbull, you go check on Ripper!" Ray yelled. "We'll take care of these assholes!".
Pitbull nodded and drove towards the store.
Ray and Spider now moved up on Malice.
"Let's see how they handle this!" Austin said.
He pressed a button and Malice shot out an oil slick
Ray and Spider's bikes skidded on it and they both went off the road.
Ray jumped off his bike before it hit a telephone pole, and Spider crashed into a fruit stand.
The other dregs stopped to check on their friends.
SO MUCH FOR THAT. said Death. SHALL WE GO?
"Yeah, we're going." Austin said as he put his foot down.
The Purple Haze had stopped outside of a drive through window of a restaurant named the Cat's Cafe.
"Neow!" A bubbly voice exclaimed, "How Shampoo help you?"
"Uh, four portions of ramen please." Yakko said.
"Aiya." The voice replied.
Soon the order was ready, and they drove around to the window, where they saw a young, purple haired woman, who looked a little bit sad.
"Here your order." Shampoo said, as she handed it over; not really paying attention, which was just as well; as Yakko and Wakko were reacting the way they usually did at a pretty girl.
"HELLOOOO NURSE!" Wakko and Yakko said in stereo.
Dr. Scratchensiff rolled his eyes.
"Boys." Dot thought wearily to herself. "Uh, miss?" Dot asked.
"Hmm? Sorry, that 'cause, uh" Shampoo said as she tried to think, but clearly her thoughts were elsewhere.
"Is there a problem?" Dot asked.
"Shampoo just thinking." Shampoo said.
"Boy trouble?" Dot asked, guessing.
"Huh?" Shampoo asked. "Um, why you care?"
"I don't really, but you're holding us up." Dot said bluntly, noticing a row of cars were behind them and honking their horns. She then noticed one of those was the Muscle Car.
"Shampoo trying to get Ran- uh, boy's attention, but he say he no interested. Shampoo try to make herself cute for him, bu-"
"Wait, cute?" Dot said, as she went to work hatching a plan. "Hey... I'll tell you what miss. You do something for me, and I'll give you lessons on being cute, because I specialize in cuteness."
"Aiya? You do that for Shampoo?" Shampoo said, perking up.
"Toon's honour." Dot promised.
"Have you got a plan, Dot?" Dr. Scratchensniff asked.
"You bet I do, Doc." Dot said. "Those Tiny Toons are about to have a spot of bother.
Five minutes later, the Muscle Car had pulled up to the speaker.
"How Shampoo help you?" Shampoo asked.
"Uh, yeah" Buster began reading from the menu, "can we get some ramen..."
"Aiya! Then?" Shampoo replied.
"Some noodles..." he continued.
"Aiya! Then?"
"Some stir fried chicken..."
"Aiya. Then?" Shampoo asked.
"And some fortune cookies." He finished
"Aiya. Then?" Shampoo asked.
"Uh, any of you guys want anything else?" Buster asked. They shook their heads.
"Uh, that's everything." Buster said.
"Aiya! Then?" Shampoo asked.
"Is this some kind of joke?" Buster asked
"Aiya! Then?"
"It's not funny." Buster said getting more peeved.
"Aiya! Then?"
"Look, I'll say this slowly. I... don't... want... anything... else."
"Ai... ya. The... n?" Shampoo asked, just as slowly.
Steam began to emit from Buster's ears.
"NOTHING! NADA! ZIP! ZERO!" he yelled. There was a brief pause, as Buster calmed himself.
"AIYA! THEN? AIYA! THEN? AIYA! THEN?" Shampoo asked.
Little known to Buster and others, while this highly stimulating debate was occurring, Wakko had finished tying a 50-ton weight to the tyres of the muscle car.
"All set." Wakko said as he climbed back in the car.
The Warners then quickly drove past the other toons' car, before stopping.
"You're hungry?" Yakko taunted, "eat this!"
He then pressed a button, and a boxing glove shot out of the back of the purple haze, smashing the headlights.
"Catch ya later losers!" Dot called, as they drove off.
"Oh, they're gonna pay for that!" Babs yelled. "Go get 'em, Buster!".
Buster put his foot down on the accelerator, but the car couldn't move because of the weight attached to them.
"Damn!" Plucky yelled as he looked up ahead of them and saw the Purple Haze activate its' pogo stick and jump over traffic on its' way out of town.
The Black Knight was being chased by several police cars. In one car were AD Police officers Leon MacNichol and Daley Wong.
"This must be one of the Cannonballers we were warned about, Leon." Daley said. "They're tearing up the street.".
"Well they're not going to lose us that easily, Daley, I assure you." Leon replied.
As he accelerated their squad car, T-Bone took a good look at the road ahead of the Black Knight.
"The road's clear for about a mile. I believe we have an opportunity to give these cops the slip." He said.
"Well then do it." Raye said. "We can't let ourselves get caught.".
"Okay." T-Bone said. "Razor, activate the afterburner.".
"Roger." Razor said as he pulled a lever to his left.
"This is gonna rock!" Lita said. "You know, Razor, you remind me of my ex-boyfriend. He could keep a cool head in situations like this as well.".
"Lita, EVERY guy reminds you of your ex-boyfriend." Raye said as she rolled her eyes.
On the rear of the Black Knight, a panel slid up, revealing the afterburner.
With a loud roar, it activated and shot the vehicle forward at great speed.
Leon and Daley watched in surprise as their quarry disappeared from their sight.
"So much for that." Daley said.
"I don't care." Leon said. "I'm going to catch a Cannonballer no matter what it takes.".
"Unless Priss happens to be one." Daley said. "In which case I guess you'll let her off with a chiding.".
Up ahead, the Black Knight had slowed down and T-Bone looked around himself to see which way to go.
He looked to his right and saw Ricky and Makoto waving to him, indicating that he come to them.
He steered the Black Knight over to the two street racers.
"Follow me, fellas. I'll show a safe way out of the city." Makoto said as he got into his car.
"Thanks very much." Lita called to Makoto.
The Black Knight roared off after Makoto's car. As they went, Ricky got into his car and blocked the entrance to the street.
Leon and Daley's squad car approached the blocked entrance. Leon stopped the car and he and Daley got out.
"Hey, buddy. Did you see a big, black off-roader come this way?" asked Leon.
Ricky shrugged. "Can't say I did, officer.".
"Why are you blocking the road?" Daley asked suspiciously.
"Hey, it's not my fault." Ricky said. "My battery died on me. I tried calling a tow truck on my cellphone but they're busy.".
Leon narrowed his eyes. "Sure, I'll bet it died on you.".
Leon flashed his badge at Ricky. "I'm with the AD Police, now move that rice rocket out of the way or we'll bust you for obstruction of justice.".
While they had been talking, the Dragon had approached down another road, avoiding the other police cars.
Seeing Leon and Daley talking to Ricky, Miss Piggy smiled.
"I think we should delay our cop friends a minute, don't you think, Kermie?" Piggy asked.
"Yeah, do it, Piggy." Kermit said.
Miss Piggy pressed a button and a jet of oil was shot out of the front of the Dragon.
The oil completely drenched Leon and Daley's squad car.
"What...?" Daley yelled as he saw what happened.
"This race is about to get HOT!" Piggy said as she pressed another button and activated the Dragon's flamethrower.
Leon and Daley dived for cover as their car was set on fire. Within a few seconds, the car exploded.
The Dragon drove on past them.
Leon and Daley looked at the charred remains of their car. They then hear the sirens of the other cop cars as they approached.
Getting to their feet, they waved down one of the black and whites. The car stopped and they climbed in.
"Get after that car!" Leon said, pointing at the disappearing Dragon.
The police drove off in pursuit of the Muppets.
Ricky smiled to himself and picked up his CB.
"Makoto, the cops are going after another Cannonballer. How are things with you?".
Makoto's voice replied. "Fine. Let Dice and Ichiro take care of the other racer there. I'm going to show these guys the safe route to their bridge.".
"Ten four." Ricky said.
Miss Piggy turned a hard right into another street, with the cop cars not far behind.
"This is getting serious!" Rizzo said. "Did you have to blow up that cop car?".
"It was fun!" Miss Piggy replied.
"You realize that if they catch us, they'll add willful destruction of police property to our charges?" Rizzo whined.
"Oh don't be so negative, Rizz." Gonzo said. "They won't catch us!".
"I'm not so sure about that!" Fozzie said as he turned and looked behind them. The police cars were rapidly gaining.
"Hang on! We'll lose them!" Piggy yelled as she put her foot down on the accelerator.
"Don't lose them!" Leon yelled.
"I'm going as fast as I can!" the driver protested. "This isn't a Ferrari you know!".
As the Dragon turned into another street, a Dodge Viper and a Mitsubishi Spyder pulled out from their parking places and followed the Dragon.
Both cars were not going very fast, but were taking up the road.
Kermit and Piggy looked behind at the two cars. Driving them were Ichiro and Dice.
"Go on, get out of here!" Dice said into his CB. "We'll hold up the cops for you!".
Kermit smiled and spoke into their CB.
"Thanks a lot, whoever you guys are." Kermit replied.
Piggy activated the Dragon's turbo and they shot off down the street at high speed.
The cop cars turned the corner and saw the road blocked by Dice's Viper and Ichiro's Spyder, both going about 50 mph.
"Oh, come on!" Leon yelled.
The lead car driver honked his horn at the two vehicles, but they did not speed up.
"It's a real disgrace how some people drive these days, isn't it, Dice?" Ichiro said, smiling at Dice.
"It sure is, pal." Dice replied, also smiling.
Marcus and Regis had managed to call a tow truck, and it had taken the wrecked Stratos to a garage in the centre of Tokyo.
The garage's owner was looking over the car. Regis was with him, while Marcus was talking on the phone.
"Hey!" Regis said to the owner. "You're that guy Joe Dirt, aren't you?".
"That's right." Joe said, smiling. "So I must still be famous in the States.".
"How'd you end up owning a garage in Tokyo?".
"Well I felt I needed a change of scene, and I know quite a bit about cars." Joe said. "But tell me, what the hell happened to this car? It looks like it was chewed up and spat out.".
"It's kinda hard to explain." Regis said.
"Did Godzilla get hold of it?" Joe asked jokingly.
Regis laughed a bit, but stopped when he saw Marcus heading over, looking pissed off.
"What's up?" Regis asked.
"What's up is Mr. Luthor and his partners are not happy with the state of affairs. And Luthor sure as hell ain't happy his car got trashed." Marcus said. "He said that if we mess up again, he'll quote unquote cut off the protruding parts of our anatomy with a blunt knife.".
Regis gulped a little.
Marcus addressed Joe. "So, can it be fixed?".
"Yeah, but it'll take time to get parts for such a rare car. And repairing t will take a long time too.". Joe said.
"Well, time is something we ain't got!" Marcus snapped. "We're in a hurry.".
"Hey, are you guys running the Cannonball? It's not being shown on TV over here yet, but it's big news." Joe said.
Seeing something to their advantage, Regis said "Yeah, we're in the Cannonball.".
"Well, hey, you can use my car." Joe said, pointing over to an orange and black 1967 Plymouth Roadrunner.
"Whoa!" Marcus said. "That's a Hemi, isn't it?".
"Sure is." Joe said. "And some of the local street racers put a tank of nitrous in her. I'd be real proud if someone could win the Cannonball in my car.".
Marcus and Regis smiled. "Okay, so you'll let us use your car while you fix up ours?". Regis asked.
"That's right." Joe said. "Just make sure I get my car back after the race.".
"Deal." Marcus said as he shook Joe's hand.
El Diablo had stopped at a noodle stand so Strong Bad and his friends could get some food.
After they had bought some, the red car had sped off down the road.
Strong Bad was still driving, as The Cheat put some soy sauce onto the noodles he was eating.
With one hand on the steering wheel, Strong Bad was drinking a soda with his free hand.
"This race has been fun so far." Homestar said. "But Strong Bad, when are you going to let me drive?".
"Look, Homestar, quit bothering me. I never wanted you on this race anyway!" Strong Bad snapped, putting his soda into the cup holder.
"Now come on, Strong Bad, don't be mean." Marzipan said. "It's a bit selfish of you acting like this.".
"Look I'm gonna have to split the prize money with you if we win. Aren't you happy enough with that?" Strong Bad asked.
While they were talking, The Cheat set the soy sauce bottle on top of the dashboard.
As the car went over a bump in the road, the bottle fell over, spilling into Strong Bad's soda.
The Cheat looked nervous. When Strong Bad had drunken some soy sauce before, it made him act very strangely. Not his usual ketchup on eggs strange, it was trying to fly a concession stand to the moon strange.
Before The Cheat could squeak out a warning, Strong Bad had taken a sip from the soda. At first.. he appeared normal. Then, a little twitch developed in one eye, and then...
"LEEKO! LEEKO! LEEEEEKO! I'M A SQUEAKY GUY! SPIDER TURNIP BABY ENVELOPES! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR! EVERYBODY COME ON FHQWHGADS!" Strong Bad blurted out, as he began to spin the car in a series of circles.
"Oh no, gettin' dizzy!" Homestar yelped.
"I know just what to do." Marzipan leaned over, and appeared to smack Strong Bad upside the head (appeared to, her having no arms and all).
Strong Bad was dazed, still murmuring about Sibbie and Teen Girl Squad vacationing with Senor Cardgage, or something like that.
"The Cheat," Marzipan asked, "could you bring Strong Bad in the backseat, please?"
The Cheat asked a question.
"Oh, Homestar will drive." Marzipan said.
"I will? Sweet." Homestar replied, cheerfully as ever.
Homestar got behind the wheel and brought the car under control. He steered it back onto the road and drove off at high speed. Again, amazing seeing that he appeared to have no arms.
"Great, Homestar. Now get us to the bridge.". Marzipan said.
"No sweat." Homestar said as they drove on.
The Maelstrom roared down the street, outdistancing the police cars, which were chasing it.
"We're nearly at the Banzai Institute, Buckaroo." Said New Jersey. "We can hide there from the cops.".
"No problem." Said Buckaroo as he poured on the speed.
As they lost sight of the cops, they approached the Tokyo branch of the Banzai Institute.
They were heading right for one of the walls surrounding the huge building.
"Now for a little trick the cops don't know about." Buckaroo said, smiling.
He took out a remote control and pressed a red button.
A hidden entrance in the wall opened up and allowed them in. As they drove into the grounds of the institute, the hidden door closed behind them.
"Bet they'll never know what happened to us." Perfect Tommy said.
A group of Blue Blaze Irregulars, Buckaroo's private army, ran over with tools.
"Need a fix-up, Dr. Banzai?" one asked.
"Just a refuel. And hurry up. We have to get to the bridge. Most of the other racers are there.".
At the Cannonball bridge, the Black Knight began to drive across. The SWAT Kats and the two Sailor Senshi waved to Makoto.
"Thanks for showing us the way, Makoto." Lita called.
"No problem!" Makoto replied. "Good luck in the race!".
The Phantom was driving along the bridge as well.
Sora was now wearing his mask.
"Only one continent to go now, and then back to the US! I am confident that we will be triumphant!" he said.
"Here's hoping!" Cid said. "Keep pushing, Captain!".
"Well, folks, it's official!" Misty said. "Our racers are now crossing the bridge to Australia. The land down under beckons.".
"I'll bet Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee will put on a good show for their countrymen!" Lazlow said.
"It's now time for us to sign off for the night, race fans!" Kat said. "But before we go, here are Tom Jones and Sir Elton John with Life In The Fast Lane!".
He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty
She held him up, and he held her for ransom in the heart
of the cold, cold city
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude
They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude
They had one thing in common, they were
good in bed
She'd say, "Faster, faster.
The lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind, mm
Are you with me so far?
Eager for action and hot for the game
The coming attraction, the drop of a name
They knew all the right people, they took
all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavily bills.
There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up
in the race
Out every evening, until it was light
He was too tired to make it, she was too tired
to fight about it
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane, everything all the time
Life in the fast lane, uh huh
Blowin' and burnin', blinded by thirst
They didn't see the stop sign,
took a turn for the worst.
She said, "Listen, baby. You can hear
the engine ring. We've been up and
down this highway; haven't seen a goddamn thing."
He said, "Call the doctor. I think I'm gonna crash."
"The doctor say he's comin', but you gotta pay him cash."
They went rushin' down that freeway, messed around
and got lost
They didn't know they were just dyin' to get off
And it was life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane
Life In the Fast Lane
Life In the Fast Lane
Life In The Fast Lane by The Eagles.
As El Diablo drove across the bridge, the now considerably calmed-down Strong Bad sat grumpily in the back seat.
"Saved by Marzipan and Homestar!" he grumbled. "Now I'll have to abdicate my title of Most Awesome Guy in The World!".
"Always modest, eh Strong Bad?" Marzipan said.
"Aw, shut up!" Strong Bad grumbled.
TO BE CONTINUED.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Whew! Another long one! Hope it didn't bore you. Watch out for the next chapter. Please R & R.
