Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. Nor do I own any of the story lines... come to think of it, except for it being Shel's POV, it's completely uncreative! LOL

Author's Note: I finally saw "Scott Free," and I have "Babe in Arms" taped, so the two next chapters should come quickly. I don't know how much time it'll take for both to be up, cause I have exams coming up, so y'all gotta be patient... here goes nothing. Oh, the dialogue is exactly the same as the show. The bits in between are Shelby's thoughts.

For the last month and a half I've been completely bored. This guy, Augusto Ciceros, arrived about a week ago. He's so the homeboy-type. It's actually kind of funny.

Ah, yes, and I met the other Cliffhangers. There's Katherine, Kat as we call her, she's the oldest. Then there's Ezra, Freakin' as I call him. He's this annoying little kid who used to be like the druggist of his school. He's so gonna help me find some shrooms, but that's all. And then there's Princess, who's just more and more annoying and quirky by the minute. We're in a constant battle with each other. I'm always winning. That little rich spoiled brat has no comebacks whatsoever.

So, eight days ago, we left on this quest. It's a stupid hike through the woods. We do a lot of that shit around here. I love it. The longer we're out here, the longer I can keep faking it, and the longer I don't have to "talk" about my problems. That's the last thing I'd want to do.

The others all opened up real easily. I could never do that. Juliette had a perfectionist mother who forced Juliette to be thin and perfect. Princess began cutting to take away the pain, and barfed to take away the food. Whatever... she could've easily ignored her mother. It's not like I could ignore Walt...

Ezra's parents adopted him to save their marriage. So that sucks, at least they never laid a hand on him.

Kat... I'm not too sure what her problem is... but she seems to be well adjusted. She should be, this is her last year here. Whatever it was, I guess it wasn't that bad. I'm never gonna get over my hump... my incapacity to trust.

And Augusto, well, he's just the homeboy who got into trouble in his hood. It isn't that bad.

Yeah, so now, Hannah (my counselor) and Jeff (another counselor) took us on this hike. We're nearly done... on our way back now. I can't wait to get back. Clean myself... or at least, clean what I can. I'll clean the dirt everyone can see, but I'll never get the dirt I can see every time I look at my reflection. It's horrible: to look at yourself and hate what you see. I need someone. Someone to tell me I'll be okay. Someone to love me for me. Someone to trust! I guess I'll never get that.

So here we are, paddling along, splashing each other. Ah, no! We have to get out! I hate it when Hannah ruins our fun! I mean, it's the only time we forget about where we are, and why we're there. Why can't they just let kids be kids sometime, huh?

Stupid Juliette, so slow. I'm stuck with her in the canoe. Why us? I think Hannah has something against us! "Come on, Princess!" And here's the glare. Oh, I'm so scared! As if that pathetic look would scare me. Ha! I laugh at that thought!

As if! Okay, so Auggie just said that this was his second time on a river. Give me a break! I may not look it, but I'm not stupid! "Please, the closest you ever came to a river was when the sewer backed up in your hood," I tell him as he passed me. I don't care what he thinks of me. Anyways, it's all going according to plan. If I'm mean to them, they won't push to know me and I won't have to tell me. It's a wonderful plan, except...

And there goes Juliette, with her little tale of the Snake River. How sad. Oh well, at least her stepfather took her boating. Mine only did unspeakable things to me. And I wasn't strong enough to stop him! Wow, I wasn't wrong about Ezra! He's so stupid. He thought she was boating on a snake, as in the animal! What a dumbass.... Well, I set him straight.

"Shelby you're out of dress code." What do I care? Man, Hannah, just stay out of my life!

"I'm hot," I answer back.

"You can say that again," came Auggie's comment. What does he think he's doing? I don't want him coming onto me! What am I going to get from him? Nothing! That's what!

Alright, so while I was spacing off there, I nearly landed shuns. Whatever, a shirt is better than a week of not talking, any time! On goes the shirt. I'm really not that hot, but hey! That's what I learned on the streets. My mom always said it's hard to relearn something you know so well. Well, at least she was right... once.

And we're off on the trail home. Ah, why can't Queenie just shut up? She's driving me insane with her incessant complaints! I just want peace of mind. Is that too much to ask? Then again, in my life, everything has been too much to ask. Why did this all have to happen to me? Well, at least it's better that it's me and not Jess. Had he touched Jess, I don't know what I would have done. I probably would've stayed. End up dying or something. Dying... suicide never really popped into my mind. That's a good thing, as it would have been so easy, so many times!

Back to reality! Alright, so what I've been tuning out of, I think has been Queenie going on about how she can't wait to get back to be able to have a shower and toilet paper. Is she kidding me? I can just imagine her trying to live on the street.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I was getting kind of used to those oak leaves. Now, they wouldn't have been my first choice, but they have that kind of unique feel, didn't you find?" as if Ezra just said that. What exactly is wrong with that kid? He's some kind of weird.

"I don't know what you have, Freakin, but I bet it's hard to pronounce," is all I have to say.

"Bad step!" Juliette is saying. Oh fun, we have to do some jumping. "Why do you always have to be so mean?"

"Bad step!" Hannah yells back. Every time we find something hard to walk over, we have to yell it out to let people behind us know. "Heads up you guys." Yeah, whatever, I can look out for myself, thanks.

"Bad step." That was Katherine.

"Uh, she wasn't being mean, she was just... Bad step!" Ezra's saying.

"Bad step!" My turn. And I got something to say to his little defense. "Hey, no one asked you to stick up for me, so just butt out." He just turned around to look at me with an inquisitive look. Yeah, despite how it may seem, I actually do notice things! Ugh! I don't care. That kid annoys me. The only reason he isn't running for cover is he's the only one who knows how to find shrooms.

"Hey, bad step," Auggie said, cutting Jeff off. Ah ha! Jeff is so dumb. He tries to be cool, but he's as far as ya get! It's almost not even funny... almost.

"What?" and down goes Jeff. Sigh, now we have to stop. Stupid Jeff just fell over the log. I bet he broke something. Oh well, this is good news! As Jeff is down, all the others are going to be packing around him, so I can go shopping... for shrooms that is. Yum yum! Can't wait to get totally wasted on those. Man, do I ever need a break from their "emotional confrontations." I would've run by now, but I'm so drained. And I never ever want to return to my old lifestyle! Back to the group before they notice I'm gone.

"We're going to have to carry him." Did Hannah just say that? No way!

"Carry him? Four miles?" Juliette whines. Normally there'd be an equally sarcastic remark coming from me, but...

"For once Queenie's right. Just leave him here. When we get back, we'll have staff come get him," I say. This is all very boring to me, but the prospect of having to carry Jeff, whom I don't even like, isn't a pretty one.

"Is that what you would want, Shelby?" Hannah asks. Do I look like I care? Or even, like I'm joking? "If you had a broken leg?" I knew that thing was broken! Didn't I?

"Hey, we can go get a canoe and then, uh, we'll carry him in it?" Ezra suggests.

"For four miles?" I ask. Does this kid even think? "I don't think so, Freakin."

"You know, your adolescent name-calling is getting real old, real fast." I don't care, Freakin. Just get out of my face and I'll be happy!

"Hey, one of those hammock things. You know, we get a sleeping bag, and we stick a couple sticks through it," came the glorious reply from Auggie... notice the sarcasm.

"What are you talking about?" Juliette asks.

"A sling," says Hannah. Well, thank you Captain Obvious! As if Princess couldn't figure that out on her own!

So now, here we are, carrying Jeff, on a sleeping bag with sticks through it. Fun, fun! I still don't see why we couldn't leave him there. I don't even like Jeff! On top of this, I have to pretend not to hear Auggie and Ezra debate whether or not I like Ezra. Did I not make it clear?

"This sucks. How much further do we have to go?" I ask, cutting the guys' dumb babble off.

"Not much further, we're almost there," Hannah says.

"Where ever 'there' is," Jules whines. Why can't she just shut up? "I hope I can make it that far."

"Then maybe Mommy should send a limo for you, Queenie." She so deserved that!

"Shut up, Shelby."

"You shut up."

"Hey!" here comes Hannah, to Juliette's rescue. "You two have a problem with each other, we'll work it out in group." Yay, fun, group! "Okay, guys, listen up. We take a ten minute break here, then it's a nice crawl to the finish." Ah, crawl, I can take that. "You're all doing great, I'm really proud of you." Why thanks, Hannah, but honestly I don't need you to cheer me on.

"But it's right across the bridge," Ezra says. I look over. He's right. Hey! First time ever. Had to happen at one point. "You can practically see the campus through those trees over there. I say we keep going."

"Yeah, let's just do it. Get it over with," I agree, for once.

But apparently Hannah doesn't. "We'll rest. We still have another half-mile up stream so we can climb down and towards the river."

"You're kidding right?" I ask. Saying what everyone here is thinking. "It's right across the bridge."

"This bridge is condemned, Shelby. It's not safe. They just haven't torn it down yet. No, we stick to the trail." Ah no! This is so not happening. I can actually see the building from here! "Help yourselves out guys, take a rest."

Why? Why? Why? "This really sucks! If it's so dangerous, why don't they tear it down?"

"Hannah doesn't want us to use it because she wants us to get the whole outdoor quest experience." Thanks, Ezra, but your input is, amazingly enough, not welcome! Just shut up! "There's nothing wrong with it." There actually is though. I can see it's falling apart. Why the comments? My front! "I bet it's perfectly safe." You go on and think that then.

"I'm not going to be the one to find out," cause I know it isn't.

"You a wuss?" Did he just call me that? You brain-dead?

"Right, and you're not?" okay, I may have been able to come up with a better one, but I'm actually getting a little scared of that bridge.

"You-you're kidding, right?" Do I look it? And off he goes. He's gonna try the bridge.

"Ezra, don't be a complete moron," Juliette says.

"Please, he's not smart enough to be a complete moron," I say. And one more for Shelby, zero for Juliette.

"Ezra get off the bridge," Kat says.

"See it's safe," he says. Yeah, safe... ha, ha! I hope he falls, it'll teach him a lesson! "Come on."

"Ezra, what are you doing?" Hannah asks, now into his little display. "Get back here."

"Why?" he asks. Uh, let's see, cause you could plunge like fifty feet to your death, that's why! "It's safe. I told ya, you were just scaring us. Come on, Hannah, let's cross here." Nah, not me! You go on, I'll take the longer way. At least I'll be away from all of them for a while. Let myself cry again. I'm holding too much in! I'm going to burst!

"Now, stop fooling around, and get back here, now!" Hannah says. Well, you may want to say it with just a tad more emotion for him to get it through his thick brain.

"Come on, EZ, don't be stupid. Get off it, man." Nice one there, homeboy. You really showed him!

"You know, you're all just a big bunch a wusses." At least we're smart wusses! Even though I hate that word!

"Ezra! Do what I tell you, now." Yes Hannah! You're really getting through to him now. Oh look, he's coming back... NOT!

"Come on guys, don't be afra-" and down he goes. How did I see that coming? Pardon me while I laugh. Holy shit! That things far up. Well, serves him right. That was so dumb! I mean, that bridge didn't look safe, everyone could tell. Why did he feel he needed to prove that?

"Stay here and keep him spotted," Hannah just said. Sure whatever. Wait, where's Kat going? Okay, so apparently she doesn't listen either. Well, I'm not going to start risking my life for these people. I hardly know them. Even though I've been here like seven and a half weeks, I haven't learned a thing about them. My plan, it, uh, it's working a little too well. They may not know me, but I don't have anyone to talk to. I need to get this weight off my shoulders. It's crushing me. I'm sinking under its weight and it's taking more and more strength-strength I don't have-to stay standing.

Ezra's going down the river. Oh my gosh, this is actually kind of scary! We can't see him any more! He's out of reach of Hannah! He's going to die! He can't die!

Kat like just saved him, but now she's freaking out. What's wrong with her? Is she okay? That was amazing! As much as I hate Ezra, I wouldn't want him to die. I'm not heartless, I just make myself out to be that way. Anyway, no one deserves death.

Well, I must say, that final crawl to the finish line was much easier than I thought. At least we're back now. I can't wait to have a shower! I feel so gross, like there's dirt everywhere... oh wait! There is!

"That looks interesting," I say aloud, more to myself than anyone else. I just saw the cutest guy! Oh my god, I hope he's in my group! He's so mine! Ah!!! Finally, we get a cutie at Horizon. "Wonder who he is."

"I'll let you know," Juliette says. She's heard my talking. As if she'll get him first! What a joke.

"Yeah, right. Next life, maybe."

"We'll see. It's always 'class' over 'crass,' honey." Don't you "honey" me, girl! And don't try and diss me, it's so pathetic.

"Whatever." I don't have the energy to start a petty fight with Queenie now. It's too draining. My mind is on other things.

"Well, that's sure something to write home about," she says.

"Sure, if you have a home to write home to." And it's so true. I wish I did, but no one wants a letter from me. Jess, she may miss me, but I don't want to bother her with my extensive dysfunctional life. And I just have to walk away from her, and another stupid comment goes down. Off to the showers with me! I can't wait.

Well, the dorms are just as I remembered. Ah, my bunk. My lonely, lonely bunk. It seems so alone, nearly apart from the others... just like how I feel. Bag off. Wow, that's a load off my shoulders. I real big load off. I dunno, that feels real good. Okay, clothes... got it. Man, beating Princess to the showers, nice!

Well, here I am... all alone, once more. Might as well make it quick. I don't want to have to think too much about my past. That's what happens when you're alone. Oh yeah, and lunch is on its way!

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Done my shower, and in line for food. I'm so hungry; we didn't get any real food on that trip. Whatever they tried to make us eat was disgusting. Oh man! That hottie is sitting at one of the tables. I am so going to get there before Princess... oh no! She's in front. Well, gotta pull the cheap moves sometime. And wham!

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," I say, trying to make it sound just the slightest bit convincing. She just glares, but hey! Looks don't kill, honey! Some people start clapping. I really don't care, though. Super hottie's mine! Seat beside him? Mine too! "Mind if I sit here?" He just looks away. Okay then... "Guess you're new here, huh?" Come on, give me something!

"What do you think?" Man, what a sexy voice! But kind of mean.

"Hey, chill! How am I supposed to know? I've been out for the past ten days, busting my hump in the woods on one of our stupid quests. For all I know, you could've come in last week," I point out.

"This morning." Ouch, that's tough.

"They assign you a group yet?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Cliffhangers." Score, score!!! Oh my gosh! Amazing hot guy's in my group! What luck? "Cute, huh?"

"Cool, that's my group." Did I sound too excited? "Hannah's not so bad. I mean she's like cooler than some of the others. So, what'd they bust you for?" I ask. Seemingly innocent question, right? Apparently, not with him. Icy stare. Normally, I wouldn't mind, but this guy's got something about him. Okay, then, another question. "Did they, uh, find your stash?" He looks like he's about to tell me, but... no. "What? I'm not going to narc you. We all try."

"Yeah, they got it." Well, at least he's talking again. "So does anyone around here have anything to smoke, huh?"

"Nuh-uh. They catch you smoking anything and they kick your butt right out of here."

"What's so bad about that?" he asks, looking at me with a defiant gaze. Well, uh, I want you to stay! I don't want to say anything, so a laugh always works.

"I, um, found some shrooms in the woods. This guy, Ezra, knows how to dry 'em. You up for it?" Say yes! Please say yes!

"Uh, sure, if I'm around. Later, huh?" What? Where are you going? Come back! Ah man! I lost him. Oh well, back to din-what is this stuff anyway? Oh, off goes Roger after him. Wonder if he tried to run? Man, whoever that was, he was beautiful!

Okay, dinner. This looks a little like a salad. This may be chicken, but I'm not too sure. Taste? Man, what is this? It feels really chewy... a little too chewy. That's not good! Ew! That can't be good! Okay, some tomatoes to wash it all down. Wait! That wasn't a tomato! Ah! Man! I can't believe I put in my mouth! Never eat what you find on the ground... well, my plate from Horizon is just as good as the ground. That's not a pleasant thought.

Wonder what was wrong with that guy. Maybe he's like me. Maybe he was molested. Who knows? I hope not. I don't wish anyone that fate, not even my worst enemy. Hope I get to know him. Hope he's different. Hope? What hope? Hope's never gotten me anywhere!