III. Preparations

"Stand straight and keep your shoulders relaxed," suggested Lei as she tapped Kenren's shoulder with a fan.

Being the only woman in the army, Lei was the only consultant her friends could find. The deity was now faced with the burden of turnign fighters into geishas.

Zeon, Shien, Homura, Kenren, Nataku, and Konzen all stood in a row in Lei's living room, each one of them wearing shoes with 3-inch high heels. Lei walked back and forth, correcting their posture like a military superior.

"This is ridiculous," muttered Konzen as he balanced himself, his face contorted in a frown.

"You'll have to get used to it," said Lei. "Or you'll trip on the stage."

Nataku walked around, tapping the heels loudly on the floor.

"Oooh, these things make me look tall," Nataku exclaimed as he stared at his feet.

"Nataku-sama, don't walk too loudly." told Lei.

The fighting god nodded and tried to walk more daintily, but the heels still tapped loudly.

Lei made the men walk around her living room, tottering and stumbling, till their feet hurt.

"Is this all we have to do?" Zeon grumbled.

"No." Lei answered. "You still have to shave your legs."

Konzen scowled. "What for?"

"Women don't have curly hairs on their legs." Lei answered as she corrected Zeon's posture. She suddenly started walking away distractedly. "I think mom still has some of that wax I need…"

Lei walked away dreamily and went to a room behind a blue door, leaving the six to sway on top of their shoes. Five minutes later, she stuck her head out of the door and called, "I found the wax. Who wants to go first?"

The men looked at each other. No one seemed to like to go.

"I'll go!" Nataku volunteered eagerly.

"I don't think you have to go through this, Nataku-sama." said Lei. "But you can help me."

"Yosh!" Nataku exclaimed and tottered to the room, his feet slipping inside his over-sized shoes. "Shien, come on. You go first." the child-like fighting god called over his shoulder.

Shien walked nervously after him, while the other four stared curiously after him.

A few minutes later, Shien's shrill scream of pain came from behind the blue door. The men outside jumped and exchanged nervous looks.

"What are they doing in there?" Kannon asked nervously.

What horrible thing made Shien scream like that?

A slight terror slinking into their minds, they stared at the door as if it was a door to a gas chamber they were about to go into.

Lei suddenly emerged from the room and again called, "Who's next?"

Konzen seemed apathetic, but Homura, Zeon and Homura immediately shook their heads.

"What, no volunteers?"

Nataku, too popped out of the room and went out. To their horror, he approached the four, grabbed Kenren's arm, and hauled him over to the room, the General gluing his feet to the floor.

As Kenren disappeared inside the room, Homura and Zeon looked at each other with dread.

-end of chapter-

What d'ya think? I'm kinda new on writing humor… Please review it so I know where I stand.