V. And the Winners Are…

 It was finally time to announce the winners.

Egan replaced the last contestant on the stage and spoke. "After seeing all the contestants, the judges have finalized their decisions."

There was a drum roll as Egan lifted a card to read.

"The third runner-up, who will receive 2M Yen in cash is…Konzen Douji!"

A young deity walked up the stage to hand Konzen a bouquet of flowers, but he was eyed menacingly that he didn't dare even approach the fair-haired god.

The five others (magic 5), who stood on the stage, looked half- ecstatic and half-miserable. Ecstatic because they had a bigger chance of winning 5 million, but miserable because they also had a bigger chance of giving their friends a reason to tease them about being Tenkai's "prettiest" for the rest of their soon-to-be-damned lives.

Egan continued.

"The second runner-up, who will receive 3M Yen is…Tenpo Gensui!"

Tenpo smiled wide (doesn't he always?) and received his roses with mirth.

"Second runner-up is…Homura Tenno!"

Homura's eyes went wide for almost ten seconds, as the crowd went wild. Then as if he had just been granted full-pledge godliness, he walked over to be fitted his crown, but after three steps, she stepped on the hem of her skirt and tripped. He fell, very painfully and face-first, onto the wooden floors of the stage.

A few people gasped, while most laughed, but Homura stood up immediately, smiled as if nothing happened, and casually accepted his bouquet (no bloody nose?).

"And now… the winner of Tenkai's Cross-dressing Pageant…is…"

Every one held their breath…

"Toushin Nataku Taishi!"

Nataku blinked a couple of times. He didn't quite hear the whole thing, because as soon as the word 'Toushin' was said, the whole crowd went in an uproar that drowned Egan's last two words. Homura had to nudge him in the shoulder and whisper what was happening.

The child-like fighting god faked tears and wiped them in a mock impression of a female. After he was given his crown, which he didn't know was given a spell that made it stick to its wearer's head for a whole week (imagine when he finds out),  he waved all beauty-queen-like. The crowd roared even loader.

***

"AAAAAARGH!"

Nataku tried futilely to take the crown off, but it won't budge. 

"Damn thing!" he growled, walking around still in his gown. In fact, everyone still was.

The pageant had just finished, and the hubble which used to go on in the backstage turned into silent cleaning up.

 Homura tore every pin and pony from his hair; Shien wiped his face vigorously to remove any sign of make-up; Kenren slumped in a chair due to exhaustion.

With the curtains drawn over them, no one noticed that the spectator outside still hadn't left the square. A very odd sensation swept over each of them…

"Close the damn curtains, will you? Some people are trying to undress here…" Konzen snapped, for he felt a draft. He turned his head to see if his order had been followed, but instead found that the curtains were opened on purpose.

Several men, each with an ill-omened and equally queer look in their faces, entered the stage through the parted curtains.

"What are you doing here?" Konzen inquired with irritation.

None of them answered. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

Homura was severely shocked when someone grabbed him around the waist from behind.

"Come with me, dolly," the seemingly drugged deity muttered to Homura's ears.

Overcome with sudden rage, the still kimino-wearing god ripped himself from his captor and punched him square in the face.

"It's not enough to humiliate us on the stage, is it?" he said with gritted teeth.

"Homura!" called Tenpo a few meters away. "It's…it's more than that…" he added with a troubled tone.

The army marshall was surrounded by several men, and so were the others. What was weird was that Lei, who was in plain sight, wasn't.

"What's the meaning of this?" Konzen demanded. He was starting to get goose bumps.

The trespassers circled like wolves closing in for the kill. Suddenly, one of them grabbed Nataku's arm. Another grabbed the god's other arm and yelled, "NO! She's mine!"

"She?" Nataku muttered, a vein throbbing in his temple. "I…"

Nataku held his captor's wrists.

"…am…"

Both of them had their arms twisted so much they should have been ripped off.

"…a…"

With the speed he uses in battles, Nataku rammed his knee into one of the men's stomachs and then caught the other a very powerful kick that sent him flying more than five meters away.

"…boy!"

Before everyone knew it, the fighting gods, including the other contenders, were being attacked by a rabid mob. Still in their panty-hoses and ribbons, the gods fought like hell. But it seemed endless. There were too many. It seemed the entire younger and older generation of gods in Tenkai suddenly split and wanted to *gulp* "take liberties" with the cross-dressing contenders.

"This is crazy! What the hell got into everybody?" Tenpo wailed, climbing up the curtains like a cat. Outnumbered and tired, escape was the next solution.

"They've split." Konzen muttered, knocking a man out cold. "They've all split."

The Gensui still held on, but the hooks supporting the curtains gave way, sending Tenpo to a horrible-looking sea of waiting arms.

"AAAAAH!"

"This is a dream… it's a dream…" Nataku repeated to himself as he fled from a very large mob.

The once clean and neat appearance turned to a ragged one. His jacket had been ripped off, his pony snapped, and his hair flew behind him like a sea of black.

The fighting god ran even faster when he looked back. He swerved into a narrow street and then wound though the streets of Tenkai, finally jumping into a door and locking it behind it.

He turned around and watched his pursuers through the keyhole as they ran past.

"Thank god…" he sighed, not remembering he was one, as he collapsed on the floor.

Homura was also trying to handle his own mob. Swaying in his obi (Japanese 6-inch slippers), he ran like hell.

Giving up on his foot war, he removed them and threw them behind him, hitting two of his pursuers in the head. He took a moment to look behind him, and when he returned to facing in front of him, Egan Gyouja suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Come to me, my prettyling," Egan said, his arms outstretched, his eyes just like the maniacs behind him.

Homura didn't have enough time to avoid him.

"I've been waiting…"Nataku heared a voice spoke.

The fighting god didn't quite realize until then what kind of place he was in. It was pitch dark, and the only light was from a small, high window. The only sound to be heared was the heaving of Nataku's exhausted breath and another one, only whoever it was didn't sound tired.

"Who's that?" Nataku half-said.

Out of the shadows came Hojun. But it didn't look like Hojun. His hair was wet with perspiration and dangled over his face. He was topless and sweaty and reeked of some other thing Nataku couldn't figure out what.

"Ho-Hojun?"

The west dragon king gave a scary, thin-lipped smile. "Now, you're mine."

A sudden feeling of fear swept over Nataku as he realized what was happening. He scrambled up and fiddled with the doorknob, but it couldn't be opened from the inside.

Hojun neared.

"Noooooo!"

Somewhere, a few miles away, Tenpo and Homura screamed with the same, high-pitched scream of terror.

***

"Ano…" Jiroushin muttered, approaching his master, who was, as usual, lounging on her chair. "That 'incident' yesterday, it didn't have anything to do with that powder I saw you drop into the punch, was it?"

Kanzeonbosatsu didn't face her servant and smiled mischievously.

"Maybe…"

Jiroushin sighed. Good thing he didn't drink it.

-end-

Liu Wei(brings brows together): What did you put into the punch, anyway?

Kanzeon( smiles): A hallucinogen-type aphrodesiac. Very effective.

Liu Wei: …

Kanzeon: Want some?

Liu Wei: O_O… Err… no thanks…