Anyway, I'm here at my computer, again, now writing chapter three of this utterly pointless story I came up with one day. -shrugs-
Anyway, it's time for me to get on with the last part of round one, which may take me a while. Of course, the beginning of round 2 will probably take me the longest, because I'll have to go through, making note of who I passed, and who I didn't. And I have to figure out talents for Naruto and Sasuke, which might be hard. And no, it isn't having sex, if only because I can't write smut for my life. And partially that them having sex onstage wouldn't be as funny as some other things I could come up with. And, uh, yeah.
To my lovely reviewer/s
Miszy-Anne: Tenshi says thankies for the cheers, and she really felt that Gaara's father should die. She's a very honest and open person. And a good person. –watches Tenshi strangling Sakura from the corner of her eye- uh, riiiight…. And thank you SO MUCH for your review, I was SO happy when I opened my e-mail and it said 'review alert'. I danced around my hallway for about five minutes, I was so happy. Now, for the rest of my reply to your review…. this will hopefully be relevant. ;; anyway, I'm not going to argue about who loves him more, because that might not be fun, so I'll just sit here lovin' him, ne? I think Hinata needs a hug, too, personally. Because her dad and Neji are so evil to her.
Tenshi: -Smacks Kari(me/also my Naruto RP char, who is a Sand-nin who lives with Gaara, but me, for nows.)- Get on with the RELEVANT stuff.
Me: ok, back to my response. -ahem- I'd feel special if he took the time to glare at me, to. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't? now, this brings up to highly interesting words, which are 'fishnet' and 'boxers' which, on their own are lovely words, but when put together, thus creating the phrase 'fishnet boxers', they become two words worthy of thinking about…. Especially when you add the words 'Gaara' and 'wearing' to the sentence. Yes, I am a bit of a pervert, but besides that, Gaara needs a lot of love and hugs. And a mommy. Not a mother, a Mommy. –sniffles for Gaara and pets his hair-
Gaara: Get. The fuck. Off me. NOW.
Me: -stops petting his hair- fine, fine.
Tenshi: anything else to add to your review response
Me: yeah. Just that, yes, we WILL take care of Gaara and work on figuring out a way to get him some hugs, damnit!
Ryu: shut up now.
Me: not til I give her her limited edition glaring Gaara plushie. –hands Miszy-Anne her plushie- enjoy!
ANOTHER REVIEW. Two, actually.
Hinata made it. And no, I don't like most of the girls, because they have no brains. And I was being frustrated at Temari. I love Hinata muches.. Much much muchly. And I'm trying to focus on the story, not the pairings, so, uh, yeah…. Plus, there's the NejiHina. But mostly, I'm going for the story. And hey, one of the jounin teachers is a judge. And yeah, I slacked a little on this chapter, but I think the Gai rap bit made up for it. Admit, Gai rapping is funny and scary. And, uh, yeah…. Enjoy the chapter? -sweatdrop- I'm sorry if this disappoints you. Oh, right, and thankies for the constructive criticism. Definitely need more of that, because my writing isn't too good. ;; -hands you your limited edition plush-
And my last review
Paperpenman: ok, to you to. xD admit it, it was funny, biotch! xP. –hands you the plushie-
Me: I'm sorry for spending more time on this than probably normal. ;; I'm so weird. xD. Well, here's the chapter
Disclaimer- No, I do NOT own Naruto. That's why it's still het. And why Gaara isn't in love with Kari (my Naruto RP char)
One final note: I brought back Zabuza and Haku
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Niji: Hello, and welcome to today's episode of our talent contest…… thing. Unfortunately, my co-host, Tenshi, is still in prison, so I'll have to do this by myself for a while….
Tsunade: Kabuto. –makes a face-
Kabuto: -comes out dressed as one of those freaky Viking opera woman- Halloooooooo –sings so loud and high that the windows break-
Tsunade: Security, remove him. Now.
Niji: I take it he doesn't pass? –Tsunade nods- ok, then, on with, um…. Orochimaru…. Eeewww…..
Orochimaru: -walks onstage, grinning evilly- my talent is snake-taming. –motions to the basket and flute he's sitting behind, then starts to play the flute, and a poisonous snake comes up, dancing. He finishes playing, gets up, and walks offstage-
Tsunade: I hate to admit it, but that was good….
Kakashi:…… -A thud is heard and Orochimaru's body falls onto the floor. A few policemen come out and put hand-cuffs on him-
Niji: what the?...
Tenshi: -emerges from the shadows of the stage, looking very ragged, and her hair is down, and it hangs past her shoulders. - Elementary, my dear Nijishinju. –puts a pipe in her mouth that starts spouting bubbles- you see, after I accidentally shot the Kazekage because I was delirious from fever, these fine boys in blue made the most honest mistake of thinking I was a common criminal. Now, as soon as I realized what I had done, I was appalled with myself, and offered my aide in finding one of their most wanted criminals, Orochimaru.
Nijishinju: -looks at her in awe- I had no idea…
Tsunade: -massages her forehead- I guess that makes Orochimaru disqualified, ne? –Kakashi and Jiraiya nod-
Tenshi: so, who's next, Niji?
Niji: Kin….
Tenshi: I think I know who she was.
Kin: -walks onstage, laughs in a really stupid way, and walks off-
Tenshi: Judges, I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say 'No'.
Tsunade: yeah. –Kakashi and Jiraiya nod-
Tenshi: Ha. –throat clearing- ahem, who's next, Niji Darlink?(1)
Niji: um…. Zaku? I think that's his name, but Megan(2) couldn't remember, and was too lazy to check….
Tenshi: -grumbles- we'll have to tell those damn muses to make her get her butt in gear. (3)
Niji: ….?
Tenshi: nevermind, but look, he's one of the sound-nins, right?
Niji: yeah, but…… -looks offstage- oh, him and the other sound-nin dude forfeited.
Tenshi: makes things easier on us, ne Tsunade?
Tsunade: yeah, it does.
Tenshi: who's next? –sighs wearily-
Niji: Anko… and Kurenai.
Tenshi: what?
Niji: they're doing a joint act of 'Rolling on the river'
Tenshi: -shrugs- MC2(4) based then, eh?
Niji: -shrugs as Anko walks out dressed like Fuller, while Kurenai looks like Hart, and Genma walks out to, dressed like the gay guy whose name I forgot. ;; they do the routine, and walk off(5)-
Tsunade- Anko passes, Kurenai doesn't. and Genma doesn't either.
Kakashi: yeah….. although Genma should pass for being so funny.
Tsunade: he asked to be disqualified.
Tenshi: why did you vote Kurenai out?
Tsunade: because I found her dancing crappy.
Tenshi: kAy (6). Next?
Niji: Iruka.
Iruka: my talent is… writing poetry…. But I'm not comfortable reading it aloud…. –hands each of the judges a few sheets of paper. They read them and nod-
Tsunade, Kakashi & Jiraiya: pass.
Tenshi: can we fail the next two people?
Niji: why?
Tenshi: because it's Itachi and Kisame.
Tsunade: if either of them comes on, I will find myself forced to kill them, seeing as they are S class criminals.
Tenshi: so they're disqualified to. YAY!
Kura: -sniffle- why do you hate Itachi so much?
Tenshi: we've already had this conversation.
Kura: I know, but still…. -sniffle-
Tenshi: I have sparkly Akatsuki nails, now go away! (7)
Kura: fine… it's too bad Goldie isn't a Goth…. –walks offstage muttering-
Niji: Gai's next
Gai: -walks out wearing… bling…..- yo yo yo!
Tsunade: Good Kage's…. he's going to rap!
Kakashi: -covers his ears-
Gai:
Intro
I
don't know dude...
I think everyone's all jealous and shit cuz I'm
like the lead singer of a band dude...
And I think everyone's got
a fuckin problem with me dude...
And they need to take it up with
me after the show...
Because...
Chorus
These chicks
don't even know the name of my band...
But they're all on me like
they wanna hold hands...
Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be
the man...
All because I'm the lead singer of my band...
Verse
1 - Gai
So I get off stage right and drop the mic
Walk up to
the hot chicks and I'm all like
"Sup ladies, my name's Slim
Shady.
I'm the lead singer in D12 baby"
They're all like
"Oh my god it's him"
"Becky oh my fuckin' god it's
Gai"
"I swear to fuckin god dude you fuckin
rock"
"Please Gai please let me suck your cock"
And
by now the rest of the fellas get jealous
Especially when I drop
the beat and do my acapellas
All the chicks start yellin', all the
hot babes
Throw their bras and their shirt and their panties on
stage
So like every single night they pick a fight with me
But
when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry
Cuz they're back on
stage the next night with me
Dude I just think you're tryna steal
the light from me
Yesterday TenTen tried to pull a knife on
me
Cause I told him Tsunade's my wife to be
This rock star
shit, it's the life for me
And all the other guys just despise me
because
Chorus
These chicks don't even know the name of
my band...
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...
Cuz
once I blow they know that i'll be the man...
All because I'm the
lead singer of my band...
My band
My band
My band
My band
My band
My band
Roxanne
My band
My band
Verse 2
- Lee
You just wanna see a nigga backwards don't you
Hey dad
how come we don't rap on Protools
Smash these vocals and do a
performance
But we in the van and he in a tour bus
You don't
want my autograph, yous a liar
And no I'm Lee (oh I thought you
was TenTen)
What the hell is wrong with that dressing room
Cuz
my shit is lookin smaller than a decimal
See I know how to rap,
see it's simple but
All I did was read a Jiraiya book
So I'm
more intact, tryna get on the map
Doin' jumpin jacks whilin' get
whipped on my back
Verse 3 – Neji and TenTen
Look at
Gai little punk ass thinkin' he the shit
Yeah I know man find
himself takin on a flick
Hey I thought we had an interview with DJ
Clue
(Gai: No I had an interview not you two)
You gonna be
late for soundcheck
Man I ain't goin' to soundcheck
But our
mics are screwed up and his always sound best
You know what man
I'ma say somethin
Hey yo Gai
(Gai: You got somethin to
say!)
Man no
I thought you bout to tell him off, what's up
Man
I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man shut up
And you ain't even
back me up when we s'posed to be crew
When I was bout to talk
right after you
I swear, I swear man
Chorus
These
chicks don't even know the name of my band...
But they're all on
me like they wanna hold hands...
Cuz once I blow they know that
i'll be the man...
All because I'm the lead singer of my
band...
Verse 4 - Kakashi
They say the lead singers rock,
but the group does not
Once we sold out arenas to the amusement
park
I'm gonna let the world know that Kakashi's hot
I should
cut his mic off when the music starts
Ready to snap on a dumbass
fan
Every time i hear (Hey dude I love your band)
We ain't a
band bitch we don't play instruments
So why he get 90 and we only
get 10 percent
And these guys they can find every area
code
(Gai: Kakashi carry my bag)
Bitch carry your own
Can't
make it to the stage, security in my way
(Who the fuck are you?
Where's Haku and Zabuza!)
Verse 5 – Kurenai
Goddammit
I'm sick of this group
Time for me to go solo and make some loot
I
told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps
Till Neji slipped
me some crack
Lose Yourself video I was in the back
Superman
video I was in the back
Fuck the media, I got some
suggestions
Fuck Gai, ask us the questions
Like who's D12, how
we get started
(What about Gai?)
Bitch are you retarded?
Anyway
I'm the popularest guy in the group
Big ass stomache, bitches
think I'm cute (hey sexy)
50 told me to do situps to get buff
I
did two and a half and then I couldn't get up
Fuck D12, I'm outta
this band
I'm gonna start a group with the real Roxanne
Gai
girl why cant you see your the only one for me
and it just tears
my ass apart to know that you don't know my name...
Chorus -
Kurenai
These chicks don't even know the name of my band...(ha
ha)
But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands...(Fuck
Marshall)
Cuz once I blow I know that i'll be the man...
All
because I'm the lead singer of my band...
My Band
My band
My band
My band
My band
My band
My band
My band
My band
Outro
The
hottest boy band in the world...
D12!
Gai as a salsa
singer
I'm the lead singer of my band, I get all the girl's to
take off their underpants
And the lead singer of my band, my
salsa
Makes all the pretty girl's wan to dance
My salsa, look
out for my next single, it's called My Salsa...
My salsa, salsa,
salsa, salsa, my salsa
Makes all the pretty girls wan to dance
And
take off their underpants
My salsa makes all the pretty girls wan
to dance
And take off their underpants, my salsa
(Where'd
everybody go?)
Tsunade: NOOOOOOO! Now I think I need therapy….
Kakashi: why the hell did they make me sing in that?
Tenshi: please tell me he doesn't pass. –all three judges nod- phew. Haku is next.
Haku: -walks onstage with acupuncture needles- my talent is making your pain go away with acupuncture. Of course, to demonstrate this, I'll need a volunteer. –stands onstage looking kind of evil-
Tsunade: -confers with the other two judges for a moment, then- um, we'll take your word for it, Haku…. You pass.
Haku: Thank you. –walks offstage-
Tenshi: I take it Zabuza's next then, eh?
Niji: -nods-
Zabuza: my talent is hairstyle in general. –drags out a TV and plays a video of him putting gorgeous styles into Haku's hair-
Tsunade: …. –wonders what Haku would do if she didn't pass him- um…. You pass….
Zabuza: Thank you. –drags the TV offstage-
Tenshi: and that is the end of round one. Tune in for the beginning of round 2 next time.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Ok, I take it that any of you who read my review response and decided that I was fucking crazy, ne? well, I'm not, just a little outside the general parameters of normal. Plus, the review really made me happy. plus, I looove to talk. And I am totally uncool, as far as it goes.
1- Darlink is a term for Darling
2- dats me.
3- Kari and Ryu are my muses, despite being part of my other personalities. Tenshi to, sometimes.
4- Miss Congeniality 2. I'm so lazy.
5- I couldn't find the lyrics, and I thought it was funny enough as is. I mean, come on, Genma dressed in a lil yellow dress? xDD
6- that's how she/I say "ok."
7- my friend Kura calls black nails Akatsuki nails, so I painted my nails black, and then I put sparkles on it, and so, yeah. Sparkly akatsuki nails.
Ciao.
