Ok, I have to start out saying you all KNOW you fucking love the Gai rap!
Poll, people, poll. Who do you want to win?
Review:
YoungSasuke: okies. I'll try. –hands you a Chibi sasuke plush- enjoy! xD
Rayin: sorry it took so long. I get to pick the talents, pal. xB –gives you a plush-
Frostedflakes: How can he not be in your top five! -sighs- oh well. Anyway, I might make it longer. Eight people left. I forgot Sasuke last chapter. I'll be getting rid of 3 this time, then 2 next. Then the final three. And yeah, all that good stuff…… -tosses you your plush-
Turns out there's only one part of round two, and one part of round three, and then round four, I think. Maybe five rounds? Whatever.
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Tenshi: ok, we're back and stuff…….. yeah…. Niji, who's first?
Niji: um, Neji, actually….
Tenshi: that little muthafucka…. –death glare-
Niji: Um…. Tenshi….. can we….. uh……. Get….. the show going?...
Tenshi: uh, yeah, sure….
Neji: -walks out onstage, hair all disgusting after swimming, and brushes it out gorgeously and stuff.-
Tsunade: well….. Neji, I'm sorry, but you fail…
Neji: what? WHY?
Tenshi: OH YEAH! –does a victory dance- NEJI FAILS! NEJI FAILS!
Tsunade: well, your performance is simply too redundant to continue on in the competition.
Kakashi: yeah.
Jiraiya: -ignores, working on Icha-Icha paradise.-
Tenshi: Off the stage, Girlie-man!
Neji: what the hell is your problem?
Tenshi: you.
Neji: go to hell.
Tenshi: after you. –takes out her gun- hehehehehehe….
Niji: Tenshi, NO! –looks all cute and begs-
Tenshi:…. Ok, fine, I'll spare his life this once. –throws him into the backstage area-
Niji: phew….. anyway, who's next?
Tenshi: eh…. -checks- Hinata.
Niji: ok, random personnel! Bring out the kitchen! –watches as the random personnel do so-
Tenshi: hey, Niji, why are YOU running the show? –raises an eyebrow-
Niji: eh, I'm not, but we're CO-hosts, we BOTH do all this stuff.
Tenshi: alrighty. –watches Hinata make ice cream- oh… my…. God…. ICE CREAM! -drools-
Hinata: -blushes and gives a bowl of ice cream to each of the three judges and the hosts-
Tsunade:heart: this is delicious! Pass!
Kakashi: I agree.
Jiraiya: more unanimous passing!
Tenshi: -happy smiles- yum! And… YAY! –does more happy dancing.- um….. aaaaaanyway…. Who's next, Niji?
Niji: Naruto, as it were.
Naruto: -Runs out onstage energetically- I'm here to do more complicated origami! –folds a bunch of colorful pieces of paper into flowers and gives them to Sasuke-
Sasuke: -blush-
Tsunade: aaaw…. Pass!
Kakashi: I am so cool! I have openly gay students!
Jiraiya:…. Icha-Icha paradise… yaoi edition?
Tenshi: whoot!
Sasuke: -kisses Naruto, and leads him off to a closet-
Tenshi: what, we can't watch!
Niji: -hides eyes- anyway, ummm….. Iruka's next….
Tsunade: he forfeited because he can't move…
Kakashi: eh, he…. he……
Tenshi: Kakashi, please, we all know why.
Kakashi: -blush-
Tsunade: Tenshi, I did NOT need those mental images….
Tenshi: eh, sorry….. ummm…..
Niji: who's next?
Tenshi: ain't that a good question……
Anko: -runs out onstage in a mini dress and heels- I AM!
Tenshi: -droooool-
Tsunade: -sigh- ok, Anko, whacha singing this time?
Anko: -clears throat-
TenTen:
Well,
I brought my own '45s,' so if you put 'em on, I'll show you my
stuff!
Hinata:
H-Haven't you already s-shown us
enough?
They snicker.)
Anko:
Oh my
god
How times have changed
This girl's either blind
Or
completely deranged
Ah, but time seemed to halt
When i was
"Miss Baltimore Crabs"
Childhood dreams
For me
were cracked
When that damn Shirley temple
Stole my frickin'
act
But the crown's in the vault
From when i won "Miss
Baltimore Crabs"
Those poor runner-ups
Might still
hold some grudges
They padded their 'cups'
But i screwed the
judges
Those broads thought they'd win
If a plate they would
spin in their dance
Not a chance!
Cause i hit the stage
Batons ablaze
While belting high 'c's
and preparing
soufflés!
But that triple somersault
was how i
clinched "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!
Anko:
Proceed...
Sakura:
Are you scared we're on
live?
TenTen:
No, I'm sure i can cope!
Ino:
Well, this show isn't broadcast
in...
Ino, Sakura, Hinata
and Temari laugh, then:
... Cinemascope!
Anko:
I
never drank one chocolate malt
No, no desserts for "Miss
Baltimore Crabs"
Temari:
How many sweaters do
you own?
TenTen:
Well, I'm sure I've got plenty
Let's see, I have three...five?...
Wait, I have
twenty!
Anko:
I would say 'oy gevalt'
If i
wasn't "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!
A tycoon i wed
so
cuddly and funny
the old fart dropped dead
but left tons of
money
so i bought this station
Anko:
So all of
the nation
could see Baby Ino and me!
Ino:
Do
you dance like you dress?
Lee:
Ino, there's no need
to be cruel!
Anko:
Would you swim in an integrated
pool?
(Ino, Sakura, Hinata and Temari gasp)
TenTen:
I sure would. I'm all for
integration,
it's The New
Frontier!
Anko:
Not in Baltimore
it isn't! And may i be frank?
First impressions can be tough
and when i saw you, i knew it
If your size weren't enough
your last answer just blew it!
And so, my dear, so short
and stout
you'll never be "in"
Anko, Ino,
Sakura, Hinata and Temari:
So we're kicking you out!
Anko:
You can't get past me kid
but it isn't
your fault
Anko, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and Temari:
It's
hard to get rid of "Miss Baltimore...
Anko:
...Crabs!"
You may go.
Tsunade: wow…. Eh, judges?
Kakashi: pass!
Jiraiya: miniskirt! Uh, I mean… pass?
Tsunade: -vein- good choice, Jiraiya.
Tenshi: wowza…. Ok, um, Niji, who's next?
Niji: -consults list- Gaara, as it were…
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Authoress: I would like to have a moment of silence here in Gaara's memory, seeing as they kill him off around chapter 260 or so. –sits silently-
Ok, aaaaaanyway…. On with the story……
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Gaara: -comes out glaring-
Tsunade: fail.
Gaara:… ?
Tsunade: I'm sorry, Gaara but your glaring is simply too redundant.
Gaara: -shrugs and walks offstage-
Niji: so, ummm… who's next?
Tenshi: Sasuke.
Sasuke: -walks onstage, clothes rumpled- eh….
Tenshi: -sigh- ok, dude, what's your talent?
Sasuke: gymnastics.
Naruto: -offstage- so that's why he's so good in bed….
Tenshi: -rolling on the floor laughing-
Sasuke: -does lots of complicated gymnastics stuff-
Tsunade: pass.
Kakashi: pass.
Jiraiya: underpants.
Tenshi: ok, it's a unanimous pass.
Sasuke: -walks offstage, grinning.-
Tenshi and Niji: that leaves Kiba.
Tenshi: JINX!
Niji: I'm a jinx masta! Hoeyah! –strikes random pose-
Tenshi: …. The hell?
Niji: -blush- ahem…. Aaaaaanyway….
Kiba: -trudges onstage-
I will forgive but I
won't forget
And I hope you know you've lost my respect
You
better watch out
If you don't know what's going on around you
You better think twice
Before you fly off the handle and lose
it
You better join us
Before you get lost in the shuffle
You
better rise against
The demons that are gonna try and hold you
down
Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?
Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?
The
ones you love, the ones you love, the ones you love
Cause I'm
not a pawn for you to play in your fucking game
I've got dignity
and a dream that I want to change
The pressure, you're troubled
and you let me down
I'm not deaf and all I hear is your empty
promises
Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you
love?
Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?
Does it run in your
blood to betray the ones you love?
Does it run in your blood to
betray the ones you love?
The ones you love, the ones you love,
the ones you love
Does it run in your blood to betray the
ones you love?
Yes it runs in your blood to betray the ones you
love!
Yes it runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!
Yes
it runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!
Yes it runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!
I will forgive but I won't
forget
And I hope you know you've lost my respect
Yes it
runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!
Yes it runs in
your blood to betray the ones you love!
Tsunade: pash! -drunk-
Jiraiya: -sleeping-
Kakashi: -disappeared-
Tenshi: ok, another pass for Kiba….. sheesh…..
Niji: anyway, that ends this episode of the talent contest thing.
Tenshi: see y'all next time!
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Ok, I know I said I'd try and get them out faster, and I failed. I'm sorry! things are just hectic, but today was my last exam, sooooo…… yeah.
See ya next chapter.
