A/N: This was done in response to an Obi-Wan Challenge on the JC boards. Everyone was drooping apace after RoTS, and the Challenger decided that there should be Obikins (Obi-Wan and Anakin stuff) that were light-hearted - and no killing was allowed. So there you are. This is my quickest viggie till date – finished in 20 minutes. :)


Roses, Ruses, and Romance

"Anakin?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me to strangle you when we're done, here."

"Jedi do not kill unnecessarily, Obi-Wan."

"I was once your master, my deluded former padawan learner, and you will not begin instructions on the Jedi way of life."

"We're on assignment, sweet one," a little touch to the ginger head, covered by a flimsy hood. "And I shall speak according to mission specifications, as you're so fond of reminding me."

A stifled groan. "Why, oh why did I ever let you talk me into this?"

"Because it was your idea?"

"Not this. And certainly not into this wretched hive of scum and villainy that we're…"

"…entering, at the moment." Anakin spoke.

The soft, cultured voice stopped at once. "Very well." The master stiffened, then seemed to remember who he was, as he slumped slightly. "Go. Now."

Anakin shifted, his hitherto light-hearted manner vanishing. "Are you—" He hesitated. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Now he tells me. The sooner we're done here, the better for us. Get the prism."

"Will you be all right?" asked the newly minted knight, worry creasing his brows as he prepared to walk away.

"A cantina is the wrong place to ask such a question." The master stumbled as a large and indescribable blue being with two trunks swatted him. "Argh. Get the prism. At once."

Anakin suppressed a chuckle, and stalked off, leaving the elder Jedi seated at a lone table, looking and feeling remarkably conspicuous. His height made it impossible for him to slink past the various customers; he made it past a cackling group of Twi'leks anyway, choosing to brave the crowds. Eventually he reached a discreetly dark counter, mumbled a certain pre-determined code-word, and was extraordinarily relieved to find a smooth, glittering prism pressed into his palm. He breathed deeply and stuffed the prism into a fold of his tunic, hardly believing his luck. The Force was truly with him. Obi-Wan would be pleased.

Not.

He had forced his way back to the main-rooms again, taking care to appear as nonchalant as possible—and had just barely stopped himself from returning a particularly flirtatious glance to the Twi'lek he had passed earlier, when…oh, sainted ghosts of Teth.

"Obi-Wan…" he murmured, eyes taking in the scene that opened before him: several tables upturned, four of the blue beings they had passed earlier were now circling each other, uttering menacing growls, while a fifth was clutching at Obi-Wan's arms and…

/Anakin?/ Considering the situation, Obi-Wan's voice through their still-active bond was remarkably calm.

Anakin sent a mental picture of the prism in his tunic. /I'm coming/ He managed to speak…before becoming one with the brawl that would later go down in the cantina's history as the swiftest, fastest, and most painless.

Four blue Bi'ilans lay in various corners of the room, twitching and groaning. The fifth relinquished a wilting Obi-Wan, upon encountering the tall, menacing yellow-haired human who looked ready to rip him apart.

Anakin took a few calming breaths as he 'walked' Obi-Wan out of the gloomy building. "What were you doing?" he demanded, as they were free of the place.

"Nothing." Obi-Wan drew the hood off, breathed in the much clearer air, and coughed. "Tell me, Knight Skywalker, what does one do when presented with a large, smelly reulsé-rose flower, and asked to be 'an angel of the hour'?"

Anakin blinked. "An angel of the what? And who offered you flowers?"

"The beings you rendered senseless a few moments ago. I must say, I was rather glad of your arrival, at that moment."

"Thank you for the compliment."

"Rest assured that this fit of insanity will pass, and my intention of strangling you at a later hour still holds good."

"Obi-Wan, we did it for a purpose," Anakin protested with a grin, as they neared their speeder. "Without the prism, we can't pass scrutiny as De'elph dealers, and we will need to, to infiltrate the slave-ring…" His voice trailed off, and his face hardened.

Obi-Wan was quick to notice the difference. "Let it go, young one," he spoke softly, his tone changing to that of a master speaking to a disturbed child. "Let the past go. It serves you no purpose in the here and now. Release it, and be at peace."

Anakin swallowed thickly, his face averted. Within a moment, he had regained his composure. "Easy to do, considering the picture you present." He placed a hand on his hip, and grinned. "Very charming."

Obi-Wan frowned. He looked down at himself, arrayed in flattering skirts, a delicately coloured outer tunic, and a shimmer-cloth that covered most of his head. His blue-green eyes were lined with black, three dots decorated his clean-shaven chin, and long lashes batted down crystalline eyes. "Oh Force," he murmured. "Of all the Knights in the Temple…...why?"

"Because…"Anakin laughed as he ushered in his cringing former master from the frankly interested gaze of one or two loiterers in the streets. "Because we're the best at under-cover work, because you're short and I'm tall…" he endured a glower from Obi-Wan. "Because the cantina's rules require that only a male and female pair may enter…" he threw a last, mischievous look at his former mentor, who dropped his head into his hands, and gave a heart-felt, most UnJedi-like groan.

"And as a certain De'elph go-between informed us a week ago, you're the prettiest of us all."

Stragglers on the street watched in surprise as the speeder whirled in a sudden, inexplicably drunken weave, before it righted itself, and zoomed off down the street.

THE END.