A/N: I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. I was sort of favoring my other fanfiction account that I have, and sort of...forgot...about this one. But no worries – I assure you that the chapters will be coming up much faster again! Enjoy this one!
Disclaimer: ...Do you really think that I own it? Let me answer that question for you right up front then: I don't.
Chapter 6
Harry's eyes were shut tight, and he was in a world all his own. Everything was dark, and there wasn't anything there in front of him, behind him, or on either side of him. He was just swirling in a black pit of nothingness. And the fact was, he liked it. There was no pain here. There was no sorrow here. There was death or grief here. And best of all, there was no Voldemort here.
However, he should have realized that something so wonderful, so free, wouldn't last long; nothing that was ever good to him did. He suddenly felt a sharp pain in his head, and he was suddenly seeing flashes of memories in front of him.
He was in his first year at Hogwarts, and he was facing Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head. He was in his second year, and he saw Ginny lying on the floor, motionless, while Tom Riddle stood in front of him.
He was in his third year, and he was casting his first real Patronus charm out of his wand. He was in his fourth year, and he saw Voldemort in front of him, stepping out of the cauldron, before the picture flashed and he was floating, holding his shaking wand out in front of him, Voldemort doing the same, while figures, including his parents, walked around them.
It was the summer after his fourth year, and he was sitting under the Dursley's window in a flower bush, listening to their television for news. It was during his fifth year, and he was standing in Umbridge's class, yelling at her for not believing him. Then he was running towards Draco Malfoy, Fred at his side, before tackling him to the ground and beating the living Hell out of him.
Then, he was in the Department of Mysteries, and he saw Sirius. Sirius was flying gracefully through the air, his back arched, and he flew through the veil, making it flutter slightly as Harry stared at it, screaming out for Sirius, while feeling suddenly lost and afraid and alone and helpless.
"NO!" Harry yelled out, suddenly sitting up in bed. "SIRIUS! NO!" He felt two arms around him as he started to sob, and opened his eyes to see Lupin there, hugging him tightly. He fell into Lupin's strong embrace, and started to weep. He was crying so loudly and fully that he began to cough again, and soon, flecks of blood were once again flying from his mouth.
His throat ached again, and his head was still throbbing. People were again shouting around him, but the voices slowly started to fade again, and once more, he passed out, leaving them all behind.
He was once again in the black nothingness in his mind, and he was just standing in it, living in it, swirling in it. But again, he felt a sudden lurch in his head, and all of his memories started fading into his mind.
He was five, and already, he was washing dishes for the Dursley's at Number 4. He was at school, and he had somehow turned his teacher's wig blue, while all the kids behind him started laughing and his teacher advanced on him. He was nine and he was staying at Mrs. Figg's house, looking at pictures of all her old cats, inhaling the scent of old cabbages in the room.
He was now in his second year, and he was speaking in Parseltounge unknowingly to a snake that was advancing on Justin Finch-Fletchy. He was in his fourth year, and he was in the graveyard, Wormtail piercing his arm with a dagger, and taking his blood. Then he was once again in his fifth year, and he was staring determinedly at the paper in front of him, which had the words 'I must not tell lies' written on it in his blood. The desk around it was splattered with the red liquid, and his hand was bleeding freely and seething with pain.
Then, he was once again in the Department of Mysteries, watching Sirius and Bellatrix duel heatedly. Sirius was caught by the spell again, and had just left the ground, when Harry realized what he had to do. He couldn't stand to see this picture again, so summoning all of the energy he could, he shouted out, "STOP!"
Instantly, the memories faded, and he was looking at the room in front of him, his body completely aching again. Once again, he started to sob, and he pressed his hands to his face, weeping into them. Lupin was once again at his side, holding him in his arms.
"It's all right, Harry," he told him. "Just let it out. Let it all out." So, listening to Lupin's words, he did. All of the remaining pain that he had felt was now leaking out of him through his tears, and it felt so good to do this, to let everything out.
Finally, after he had been in Lupin's arms for a good fifteen minutes, he found that he couldn't cry anymore. Besides that, he felt like he was going to start coughing again, and he really didn't want to cough up anymore blood, so he stopped himself.
He looked into Lupin's face, seeing that those oceanic blue eyes were looking back down at him with worry and concern. "Thank-you," Harry said, his voice very faint and quiet, since it hurt his throat to talk. Lupin nodded his head, and then he pulled Harry into another hug. Harry wrapped his arms around him and hugged him back.
When they pulled apart, Harry noticed that they weren't the only ones in the room. Mrs. Weasley and Dumbledore were also standing there, looking at he and Lupin, smiling, though Mrs. Weasley's eyes were red and showed signs of worry.
"Molly and Remus helped me clean you up," Dumbledore told Harry softly, and looking down, noticed that his arm and wrist were tightly bandaged. He looked up at them all, and looked a little guilty.
"Err, thanks Mrs. Weasley," he said quietly, not meeting her eyes.
"Of course, Harry dear," she said, and she walked over and pulled him into tight hug as well, to which Harry was grateful for. But the next thing she said came as a total shock to Harry, and he was quite unprepared for it.
"But you should also be thanking Professor Snape, Harry," she said, and Harry opened his eyes wide and loosened his grip on her. "He was the one that made the healing and blood-thickening potions for you."
Harry moved slowly out of Mrs. Weasley's grasp and looked over to the side of the room where Snape was standing, holding his wand unconsciously in his right hand. He seemed to be looking at Harry with an expression of slight worry on his face, probably because he figured that he would start screaming at him again.
However, Harry didn't start screaming. In fact, he just looked at his professor, and said in his quiet, raspy voice, "Thank-you," before looking back down at his hands and staring at them, suddenly finding them very interesting.
Harry heard someone moved, and looked up to see that Dumbledore had walked over to his bed. He looked at Harry's head, and frowned slightly. Harry suddenly realized that his scar was still in pain, and that there seemed to be a warm liquid running down his head.
"It's still bleeding," Dumbledore muttered, and Harry reached up to touch it. Upon doing so, his scar gave off a sharp pain, and he winced. He brought his hand down and looked at it, seeing the red liquid on it. He quickly wiped it off on the black pants that he was still wearing, realizing that they were already covered in blood anyway.
"Here, Harry," Mrs. Weasley said gently, and she flicked her wand, making the pants he was wearing change into a new, clean pair. He also had been granted a shirt, the same emerald green color as the pants. He smiled up weakly at Mrs. Weasley.
"Thank you," he said. "Again."
She just smiled down at him, looking at him with flecks of worry still in her eyes. Then Dumbledore spoke up, and asked Harry something that was on everyone's minds.
"Harry, do you have any idea why your scar would be bleeding?" he asked, and Harry just shook his head. Dumbledore sighed. "So you don't remember Voldemort breaking into your mind at all?" As Harry shook his head again, Mrs. Weasley and Snape flinched at the name. Dumbledore didn't seem to notice this, however.
"Well, Professor Snape tried to break into your mind in order to find some of memory of that happening, but was unsuccessful, considering that you broke through it both times." Harry looked shocked, and turned to look at Snape, who was avoiding his gaze.
Oh Merlin, Harry thought. He's seen all of these other memories of mine that are embarrassing and painful, and now he's seen even more of them. Great. Just great. Dumbledore had started talking again however, so Harry looked back at him.
"...and under the normal circumstances, we would have been happy that you would have been able to throw off the spell, but since we were looking for something, it wasn't what we wanted."
Harry nodded, understanding what Dumbledore had meant, even though he had only heard half of the last statement. But again, he was slightly unprepared for what Dumbledore next asked him.
"Harry, since you can't remember anything that would have happened to make your scar bleed, would it be asking to much to let Professor Snape try to get into your mind again?" he asked, and at Harry's look, he quickly added. "Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't ask something like this, but considering that your scar has never bled before, and now that it has, and you can't remember anything, I think it would be wise to just to check your mind for something."
Harry was suddenly overcome with a feeling of worry, and he didn't know how to respond. He didn't want Snape breaking into his mind, and he surely did not want to see Sirius falling through the veil again, but on the other hand, he may be able to discover something. He was just so confused right now, and he wasn't sure how to respond.
Sensing what he was thinking, Lupin spoke up. "Don't worry, Harry," he said gently. "I'm sure that you won't see Sirius again, since Severus is going to be looking for something in particular. And even if it should pop up, you can have some control over your mind, and stop that image from continuing on."
Harry looked up into Lupin's eyes, and realized that he had to do this. He had to let Snape break into his mind, to see why his scar was bleeding. Anything to stop the pain that he was feeling in it right now. And anything that may help him in getting to Voldemort or to see what he was trying to do.
Slowly, Harry nodded his head, and Dumbledore smiled at him. "Well, it's settled then," he said to everyone. "Severus, if you'd step over here please."
Snape walked slowly over to Harry's bedside, looking like he'd rather do anything but this. He then looked up at Dumbledore to receive his next directions.
"Severus, you know how to part through his mind," Dumbledore said to Snape, raising his eyebrows slightly. Snape jerked his head and nodded, and then looked back at Harry. "Try to find something that could have been placed there by Voldemort."
Again, Snape jerked his head once up and down to show he understood, before Dumbledore turned to Harry, who was feeling remotely frightened by all of this.
"Harry," he said softly, his blue eyes looking deep into Harry's green ones. "Professor Snape is going to break into your mind, and try to stifle through your thoughts, trying to find ones that may be related to Voldemort. This means that you may see flashes of all of the times that you've faced Voldemort." Harry could feel his face growing red as he thought about this. Seeing Voldemort once was enough, but to see all of these things happen again; it was almost too much.
He almost shook his head and told Dumbledore to forget the whole thing, but knew that, as he had thought before, it had to be done. So, bracing himself, he nodded, and took a deep breath. He exhaled, and waited for Snape to start.
"Okay, Harry," Snape said, and Harry felt some relief from having Snape use his first name again. "I'm going to count to three, and then I'm going to enter your mind. Remember: you control your own thoughts as much as I'm going to be now."
Harry nodded his head slightly, and when Snape said, "Ready?" he closed his eyes and sat straight up. Then he heard Snape's voice say, "One, Two, Three – Legilimens!"
Harry suddenly started to see his thoughts playing in front of him, and all of them had to do with Voldemort. It started out when he was a baby. He was lying in his crib, his mother standing in front of him like a shield, when a shout was heard from the room beyond and the door opened.
Harry saw Voldemort standing there, looking just as he did nowadays, except he looked more – well, alive. He then saw him advance on his mother. She was pleading with him.
"No! Not Harry! Please don't take Harry!" she was screaming, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.
"Stand aside, you silly girl!" he yelled at her, though a smile was spreading on his lips. However, his mother kept pleading, and she screamed out again.
"No! Not Harry! Please don't kill Harry! Kill me instead, but don't kill Harry!"
Voldemort's smile grew wider, and he said, "You are making me impatient, you filthy little mudblood. No matter though..."
And with that, he screamed, "Avada Kedavra!" and his mother fell to the floor, dead. Then Voldemort stood there, laughing hysterically, before moving onto Harry.
"Oh, precious child," he said, and Harry could feel himself growing scared at the new face in front of him. "It's too bad that I have to kill you. You're so young. But when Lord Voldemort is threatened, he has to do something about it." And so, with that, he pointed his wand at Harry, and shouted, "Avada Kedavra!" for the third time that night.
However, unlike the other two times that he had used it, the curse didn't kill his supposed victim. Instead, Harry saw the flash of green light, and felt a pain in his forehead so intense he thought that it had exploded. But just before he passed out in his crib, he saw Voldemort fall to the floor, along with the rest of his house.
Harry suddenly felt the spell being lifted from him by Snape, and found that he was screaming out and sobbing again. Mrs. Weasley and Lupin were both next to him in an instant, holding him, and rocking him back and forth. Snape seemed too shocked to do anything, and Harry couldn't blame him. It even must have been hard for Snape to watch people like that being killed, even if he never really liked the people to begin with.
Harry was still sobbing, and was crying out, "No! No! Not my mom! No! Please!" Lupin and Mrs. Weasley were rocking him, holding him close, and both had tears in their eyes as well. However, where as Mrs. Weasley only had hers there because she felt horrible for Harry, Lupin had his there because he himself felt horrible as well. He had heard Harry screaming out, and knew that Harry had just seen his parents, two of Lupin's best friends, die right before his eyes.
Dumbledore walked over, and looked at Harry with his somber eyes. "Harry, I know how hard that was for you, and how hard it still will be, but I need you to try again." Here, all three of the other adults in the room just looked up at him and stared, and Harry could only guess that they were as shocked as he was at Dumbledore's words.
"Dumbledore, you can't make him do that again," Mrs. Weasley pleaded. "Don't you realize what he just saw? He hasn't seen this image since he was a baby, and he didn't need to see it again now. And he certainly can't, and doesn't need to, see any other battles with Voldemort."
"I'm afraid he must, Molly," Dumbledore said sadly, to which Lupin now started in.
"Albus," he said. "I have always respected you, so forgive me when I say that this is the worst idea that you've ever had." Harry would have laughed had the situation not been so serious, and had he not been sobbing uncontrollably at the moment. Even Snape stuck in his two cents, something no one thought he would ever do.
"Headmaster," he said, his face again more white than usual. "I do not think that I can do that again. Even for myself, that was more than I needed to see."
Dumbledore sighed, and just said simply, "It has to be done."
"But Dumbledore!" Mrs. Weasley shouted. "You can't do this to him!" But then, from somewhere deep inside of himself, Harry suddenly found the courage to go on. He brought out the true Gryffindor in himself, and said, "I'll do it."
Everyone stopped and stared at him, and then Dumbledore smiled softly. "That's it, Harry," he said, and motioned for Snape to move over to him. Snape did so, looking at Harry with awe. But he quickly regained his composure, and said, "On the count of three, then. One, two, three – Legilimens!"
Harry was once again enveloped in his old thoughts. He was under the trapdoor at Hogwarts, in the depths of the school, and was fighting Quirrel. He had grabbed the man's face, which was becoming blistered and raw. However, it wasn't long before the image changed. It seemed as if Snape was going through his thoughts faster now. He was now in the Chamber of Secrets, and he had the basilisk fang in his hand, stabbing the diary with it, while he watched Tom Riddle disappear. Then he was back in the graveyard, and he had heard his parents scream, "NOW!" to him, and he lifted his wand, making the golden ball of light connecting himself and Voldemort hit the Dark Lord full on.
Then came the moment he had been dreading. He was again in the Department of Mysteries, and he was watching Bellatrix and Sirius duel. Sirius was hit by the spell, and was flying backwards, but Harry was determined not to see it again. So, concentrating as hard as he could, he forced the image out of his mind, and Snape was able to move to the next one. He was lying on the ground in the lobby of the Ministry of Magic, and Dumbledore was in front of him, when a sudden force took over his body, making his body feel like it was on fire.
A voice was ringing out through his mouth that was not his own, telling Dumbledore to kill him. But he didn't, and finally the force left him there, lying on the floor, before becoming unconscious,
Then, the thought changed again, and Harry suddenly found himself looking at a memory he didn't remember, although it seemed to be that day. As he watched it, he suddenly gasped, and Snape lifted the spell. Harry's eyes opened wide, and he looked over at Snape, who was looking back at him with shock.
"What happened?" Lupin asked hurriedly. "Did you find something?" Slowly, Harry nodded his head, not believing what he had just seen.
A/N2: All right, well, that's the end of the chapter. I'll try to get the next one up tomorrow, but I'm not making any promises. Anyway, please, please, please review, since that makes me happy, which in turn makes me update faster. And thank-you to all of the people who reviewed the last two chapters – it means a lot, and I am eternally grateful to you for it!
May you have all the gold you can eat,
SiriusBlack4Ever
