Authors note: Yeah I will be updating much more now that I figured how to get in. GOD I FEEL SO STUPID! But, I always feel like that, so I don't care. Okay I had to do a play in school, and we made bloopers, it was hilarious. This chapter will be long because of it. And the play is long and boring, so I'm going to stop it where we stopped the bloopers. The bloopers are funny though. Well, never mind what I just said, I'll be in Florida!
"What's wrong with me being leader?" asked Knuckles.
"Well…" said Shadow.
"Is this a trick question?" asked Sonic.
Knuckles glared at both of them. "What do you thin-." Knuckles turned to find the girls gone. "Dammit! Not again!"
Team Toxic…
"Wow!" yelled Tiffany plopping on the couch. "That was fun!"
"I know what we could do!" yelled Sonia.
"What?"
"We could watch a movie!"
"What movie?"
"THE PLAY AND THE BLOOPERS!"
Sonia ran over to the VCR and plopped in a tape.
Cast:
Miss Booker (A.j.) (author)
Don Keyhoe (Matt, also known as a pathetic excuse for a human)
Mrs. Keyhoe (Alex)
Mr. Keyhoe (David)
Laundry Lady (Colleen)
Telephone Lineman/Narrator (Jay)
Chuck (Charlie)
Jody (Kelsey)
Mia (Katlin)
Garbage Man (Bryan) (Whoa! Didn't see that one coming…not)
Kristy (Kaylee)
Kenny (Andrew)
End Cast.
Real PlayThe narrator walked out on stage holding a piece of parchment.
"We our honored to have thy presence on thy play. We hope thou will have a good time. In case you didn't understand what I just said, let me say it in today's English: Glad to see you and hope you have fun!"
The narrator walked out and the lights dimmed. All of the sudden they turned back on. Don ran in from some unknown passage.
"Help!" said Don out of breath. "There after me! I never meant to do anything wrong see?"
The laundry lady, Miss Booker (me), garbage man, telephone lineman all walked in looking angry.
"Now listen to me young man!" screamed the laundry lady in fury. "I've been doing your family's wash for years, and I never seen anyone attack my wash the way you just did! It's filthy! I'll have to wash it all over again!" She threw a sock form her laundry basket down on the floor.
"But that wasn't you wash to me!" stammered Don. "That was the wicked King of Westphalia!"
"Oh yeah?" said the garbage man grabbing a garbage can lid out of Don's hands. "Why did you steal this top? Did it attack you too?"
"Well, I needed a trusty shield to protect myself didn't I?"
"Listen you crazy kid!" yelled telephone lineman. "You banged on my telephone pole so hard, I almost fell off!"
"But that wasn't a telephone pole to me! It was a dragon!"
"You are in so much trouble with the library Don!" yelled Miss Booker. "You've taken out all the books on Medieval History and you haven't returned them for months! Have you any idea of how much money you owe?"
"I'm sorry, but those books, there like my passport to adventure, I promise I'll bring the back tomorrow." Don looked up. "Can I go home now?"
The Laundry lady sighed. "Go ahead, but I'm calling your mother, and that's a promise to!"
"Yeah!" said Miss Booker.
They all walked off the stage.
Then the narrator walked out again. "A short time later."
The lights turned off, then back on. Don walked in.
"So where are they? Where is Princess Alasandra? And the dragon. And where are those 10 starving peasants I ordered? Hey I pay them to be in my adventure don't I? Why doesn't anyone understand how cool Medieval Times were?" Don stopped and got all excited. "Oh man! There were castles, and dragons, and princesses just waiting around to be rescued by heroic guys like me! Knights in shinning armor!" Don stroke a ridicules pose.
The doorbell rang and 3 kids came in.
"Hey! I thought I ordered 10 starving peasants! Where are the rest?" screamed Don.
"They wont come," said Jody. "They said you don't pay enough."
"Yeah," said Mia. "And they said they'd rather die then starve for you Don."
"Can we get this over with?" asked Chuck. "I have a soccer game this afternoon."
"Okay, okay," said Don. "You three assume the starving positions while I get my brother and sister."
Jody, Chuck, and Mia got down on their knees and started moaning.
"Kristy! Kenny! Come out here on the double." Screamed Don.
2 kids walked in. The girl was wearing a tattered ball dress with a crown on sideways, and a mitt in her hand. The boy was wearing a dragon costume.
"Kristy!" yelled Don. "Get that glove off you hand! You're supposed to be a princess, not a first basemen! Now get in the tower and look distressed! Kenny, get in the dragons cave!"
"Oh all right man," said Kenny. "You are so obsessed!"
Everyone got in their places and Don got a check mark thing. "Now, action!"
The peasants started moaning. Kenny roared, but a very lousy roar.
"Oh, save me were outré thou brave knight," said Kristy bored.
"Cut!" screamed Don. "That was terrible! How can I live my dream of glory if you people act like a bunch of sick monkeys! Now do it again, but better! Feel the 12th century coarsening through your veins. NOW!"
The peasants moaned and Kenny roared.
"Oh save me! Where outré though brave knight?"
Mrs. And Mr. Keyhoe walked in. Don turned to them. "Never fear humble folks! I have come to vanquish the dragon! Have at thee cursed dragon!" Don stabbed Kenny and he fell down. "I have saved thee!"
"Okay, yeah whatever," said Kristy sarcastically. "Now can we get paid?"
"Yeah!" yelled Mia.
"Cough it up Don!" screamed Chuck.
"Where's my money?" yelled Jody.
"What is going on here!" yelled Mr. Keyhoe. "Who are all these strangers?"
"I'm Jody sir, this is Mia and Chuck."
"We're starving peasants." Said Mia. "We get paid to starve,"
"If we don't get paid, we don't starve, got it?" yelled Chuck.
"I've had enough of this! OUT!"
"Okay," said Chuck. "So we'll beg."
"Please!" They said in unison.
"OUT! Donald Keyhoe you are in so much trouble!"
"Clam down dear," said Mrs. Keyhoe. "You take the groceries into the kitchen, and I'll deal with Mr. Medieval."
"Don't let him off the hook,"
"Donald Keyhoe, I've had it about up to here with you! Did you know I had 3 angry phone calls this afternoon? And the school librarian will be any minute to discuss this phase you going through!"
Mr. Keyhoe walked back into the room. "Pick up all those books! Any money you owe is coming out of you allowance."
"Okay, okay," said Don.
A knock came from the door.
"Why, hello Miss Booker," said Mr. Keyhoe. "We're big fans of the library,"
"I know," said Miss Booker dryly. "Practically the Medieval section," She glared at Don. "I'm very interested in your fascination with Medieval times Don, I think I understand."
"You do?" Don glared at his parents. "Nobody else dose,"
"Those time much seem so much more stirring then this century, rescuing a princess, winning a great battle, and feasting in a king's castle must seem so much more stirring then say- doing homework, eating fast food, and a quick pick-up game of basketball."
"Yes! You got the idea!"
"And you like to live in those times?"
"Yes, I mean yea verily!"
"But surly you read about the downsides of those times, there were plagues and famines, and the wars were very brutal,"
"Oh yeah, I mostly skipped over those parts,"
"Hmmm, I see." Miss Booker motioned Mr. And Mrs. Keyhoe. "I wonder if we could confer privately,"
"You bet," said Mr. Keyhoe. "Don go to your room! You're grounded!"
"Okay, okay. Jee Wiz."
He left the room and upstairs.
"Don, has a very romantic notion for Medieval times." Said Miss Booker.
"Tell us about it," said Mrs. Keyhoe. "He's in trouble all over the place, is there anything we can do?"
"I have a sure cure for romantic notions, if you're willing to follow a few simple instructions, I can almost guarantee a cure."
"Tell us right away!" said Mr. Keyhoe.
"Yes, tell us what you have in mind,"
Mr. And Mrs. Keyhoe kneel in and whisper something, while the lights turned off.
End of the real boring play.
BloopersThe narrator walks out holding a piece of toilet paper roll.
"The sixth grade is dishonored to have our presence at the play. We hope thy will die of cancer. In case you didn't understand anything I just said. Let me say it in today's English. Hope you die and burn in hell, and welcome to MTV cribs!"
He walks out and the lights dimmed. Then Don came running out.
"Help me! I ate their steak! I was hungry! Why doesn't understand!" screamed Don.
Every body traps him.
"Now listen to me you old fart! I've been doing you and your family for years! And I never had been paid so low! I'll have to work over time! And you attacked my wash!" said the laundry lady.
"That wasn't the king to me! That was the evil wash of Westphalia!"
"Oh yeah! Why didn't you steal this garbage can?" screamed the Garbage man.
"Because I didn't want to!" screamed Don.
"Why not? It would make a good shield."
"Listen to me!" said the Lineman. "You banged on my telephone pole so hard, I fell of and snapped my neck!"
"Wouldn't you be dead?"
"That's for me to know, and you never to find out,"
"…Anyway, that wasn't a telephone pole to me, it was a horse!"
"Your in so much trouble with the library! I've taken out all the books on Medieval and I haven't returned them for months! You want them and I wont give them to you! Do you have any idea on how much money I owe?"
"But, I'm sorry, I kind of stole them while you weren't looking."
"Damn,"
"But I promise I will bring them back next year," said Don looking down. "Now can I go swimming?"
The laundry lady sighed. "Oh all right, but he's calling your mother," she pointed to the lineman.
"Yeah." Said Miss Booker. "And your grandpa, your uncle, and you gay cousin!"
They all walked off stage.
The narrator walked out again. "The next year," then he walked out.
Don walked in. "So where are they? Where is the dragon, the peasants, and where are those 10 starving princess I ordered! Hey, I pay them to be in their adventure don't I? Why doesn't anyone understand how fascinating Medieval times were? Oh man, there were hotels, dragons, and heroic guys like me, just waiting around to be rescued."
Don started dancing a weird way. The doorbell went off. Three kids walked in.
"Hey!" said Don. "I thought I ordered 3 starving peasants! Where are the rest of you?"
"They wont come," said Jody. "They said you pay to much."
"Yeah," said Mia. "And they said they rather starve then die for you mom…I mean dad."
"Can we get the soccer game over with, I got to starve this afternoon." Said Chuck.
"Okay, you guys assume the rich positions while I get my uncles." Said Don. He went up to the stairs. "Kristy and Kristy! Get out here on the double!"
2 kids walked in. One was wearing a tattered ball dress, and the other wore a business suit.
"Kristy, why aren't you wearing your mitt, you supposed to be a first-baseman not a princess, not get in the dragons cave and look distressed. Kenny, get in the tower."
"Oh alright man…god I got a hang over." Said Kenny rubbing his head.
"Cut!"
The peasants started moaning and Kenny roared.
"Oh save me where outré thou brave chicken?" said Kristy badly.
"Action! That was terrible, how could I live my life of manhood if all you people act like a bunch of strong monkeys? Now do it again, this time feel the 21st century coursing through you brains. Again, but better…even better then better, do it worse! NOW!" said Don.
The peasants started laughing and Kenny oinked.
"Oh save me! Where outré thou brave pig!" screamed Kristy.
"Fear me humble folks, I have come to kill you all!"
Kenny got up and went forward, and Don stabbed him. Then he started stabbing him again. And again and again.
"God dammit I'm dead already!" screamed Kenny.
"I have saved thee," said Don.
"Oh I thank thou," Kristy got down and kissed Don right on the lips.
"Okay, you're my sister, this is just plain wrong," He pushed her away. "Okay, here's your money," he gave out a million dollars to everybody and they left…except Kristy and Kenny.
"What is going on here?" screamed Mr. Keyhoe.
"Kristy get off that dinning table, Kenny put the TV back, Donald Keyhoe, is this another pipe dream?" said Mrs. Keyhoe.
"You don't understand, not even Mr. Wiggles the pig understands," said Don sadly.
"You are in so much trouble!" screamed Mr. Keyhoe.
"Calm down dear, I'll take the groceries into the kitchen, you deal with Mr. Medieval."
Mrs. Keyhoe gave the groceries to Mr. Keyhoe. He walked out. "Okay, sounds like a plan!"
Mrs. Keyhoe walked over to Don.
"Donald Keyhoe!" screamed Mrs. Keyhoe. Don started crying and stomping his feet on the ground. "I've had down to here with you! Did you know I had 10 happy phone calls today? And the school librarian will be here to discuss this hamster you going through!"
Mr. Keyhoe walked back in. "Pick up all those porno magazines! Any money you owe the school is coming out of you allowance!"
"Okay!" Screamed Don. He was still crying.
There came a knock at the door. Miss Booker walked in.
"Hello Miss Booker, may I take your skirt?" asked Mrs. Keyhoe.
"Yes, thank you." Miss Booker unzipped her skirt and took it off, but she wore jeans under her skirt.
"We are very interested for you to come, please sit down." Said Mr. Keyhoe. "We are big fans of the library."
"I know," said Miss Booker dryly. "Mostly the cat section."
Don, he wasn't listening to her. He was poking some radishes that were on the table. They were left there from the real play.
"I'm very interested with your fascination with radishes Don…I…think I understand." Said Miss Booker.
Don put a radish in his mouth and shot up. "You do?" He glared at his parents. "Nobody else dose. They all think I'm weird."
"Well you are," said Mr. Keyhoe.
"No I'm not!" Don stood up and pointed to his parents. "They sent me to the loony bin 5 times!"
"No we didn't,"
"YES YOU DID!"
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Miss Booker. "But tell me, why wont you return the books you've taken out."
"Okay, you want me to tell you?" asked Don.
"Yes,"
Don stood back up. "I've been selling them on ebay."
Everybody gasped.
"You what?" yelled Miss Booker.
"Oh! NOW YOU GOT IT COMING!" yelled Mr. Keyhoe.
"What?" asked Mrs. Keyhoe. "I want a part of this!"
"Don go to your room, you're grounded indefinitely! GO NOW OR I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!" screamed Mr. Keyhoe.
"Okay, okay."
Don left the room kicking and destroying stuff.
"Don has a very romantic notion for the internet," said Miss Booker.
"Oh, tell us about it, he's in trouble all OVER it. Is there anything we can do?" asked Mrs. Keyhoe.
"No not really," said Miss Booker. "But there is one thing that probably wont work, but we can try it. Here's what we are going to do,"
The lights dimmed as Miss Booker was whispering something to Mr. And Mrs. Keyhoe. Then Mr. Keyhoe spoke.
"Are we going to send him to the loony bin again?"
The lights turned off completely.
They turned back on as the narrator walked out. "Cut."
End BloopersSonia plopped the tape out of the VCR.
"Wow, what a good play," said Sonia.
"Yeah right!" said Tiffany. "The only good part was the bloopers."
"Yeah," said Akira.
"Your right,"
"Well, lets go get some ice cream," said Tiffany.
"Again?" asked Akira.
"Yeah! Let's go!"
At the ice cream parlor…
Sonia and Akira walk in to see…WALDO! And two other mobians.
One was a hedgehog and the other was an echidna. And they were both girls.
Authors note: God sorry it took so long, it took me a while to write it. Yeah, I wont update this week cause I'll be in Florida!
