Chap 2

"What's her problem?" pondered a sleepy young Harry. After all, she should be used to that by now. He knew he was. After a quick glance at his watch, Harry realised he was missing Potions, again! He slipped on his fashionable pink faded robe and dashed down the corridors, hitting as many people as possible.

"So, the Griffindor Saint arives at last. You seem to have missed the making of the potions, so would you care to test them." Harry looked around the room, as the Slytherins smirked, and the Griffindors grinned. He worried what they had made.

"Todays lesson was a chance for extra credit, and you had to attempt a potion is my book "Potions for the Pollutant in the Mind", which I wrote myself, and was never published. But luckily I have my day job. groans. Bring your potion to the front Longbottom, and we'll see if you failed, yet again. You poor fool."

"I'm not an idiot." mumbled Neville, though he had never gotten full control of his vocal cords, and more yelled it.

"Well, prove me wrong then. Though that'll never happen. If you ever got a potion right, I would turn myself willingly into a women and date you." This scared Neville, so he shut up.

Harry felt his stomach bubble like he had just drank Hermiones conditioner again. Neville tried to ignore this and attempt to show off his strength to Harry by carrying the cauldren with one hand. Um... sadly... he failed this and spilled it all on Malfoy.

"Neville, what was your potion?" asked a sniviling Snape, as Malfoy's originaly petite muscles grew in size and turned a Slytherin shade of green, and then proceeded to flex a bit, before realising he should be pounding Neville.

"A happy potion." Neville desperatyly hoped he could take the potion himself, but after seeing the effects, decided to combate his cronic depression tonight with Harry's teddy.

"You really are one sandwich short of a picnic. I mean seriously, if dumb were dirt, you would cover an acre. If wisdom grew on trees, you would be a bush! If..." Snape stopped his abuse to observe the class taking notes. He had already been warned for causing rivalries among the students with his biast scoring in the fashion show last year. He mustn't put lighter fluid on the flame.

"Let's have a potion that works, shall we. Malfoy, before you start to get angry, let's test yours." Draco's smile widened as his muscles shrank back to their baby size, and forced a large, dripping spoonful down Harry's throught.

The sensation began in Harry's toes, and worked their way up to his man bits, and around to his ass. "Damn! Why did it have to stop!" Harry procedded to show his anger to his fellow students by sitting on the floor and pouting. But his feet still dangled when he sat, and it wasn't till he looked at what the potion had done when he discovered his problem.

"Here we have a correct potion to change the size of Uranus. What's it called Malfoy?" asked a very pleased Snape who thought his joke was actually funny. He scowled when no one else laughed, till Harry started trying to bonce back onto his feet.

"Glootimus Maximus. And there's no antidote. Only a diet will heal it."

"That's enough for the day, I think it's starting to verge on child crultey, but you can write 2 scrolls on the effects for tomorrow. Feel free to observe Potter for research." The class quickly walked out, or in Harry's case, waddled.