Chap 3

"Hold still Harry," muttered an annoyed Hermione while she attempted to shink Harry, while Ron used his extreme sewing skills on Harry's robes.

"Harry, mind if I sew on a few hearts and stars while I'm here? What was that? Go right ahead? Ok. How about a Neville in the hearts? Yes you'd love that. Ok, if you insist." Ron whistled an extreme happy tune, blissfully unaware of Harry screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Harry, it seems there is one cure to this problem. Go up to the Quiddditch pitch, strip naked, and sing Glootimus Minimus, over and over again to the tune of the national anthem. And it has to be done on the day the potion was drunk." Hermionie showed her triumph by sticking her stubbley chin in the air, spinning on her heel, and going to tell Colin she had some great photo oppatunities for him.

"I dunno about this Ron, what if somebody sees me, and thinks I look fat. I mean, it's nice that no matter where I sit, I always get a coushin, and it's a bit like having a hot water bottle tied to it. I never get cold any more. But even with Jennfier Lopez's huge ass trying to bring them back into fashion, I don't know if the look suits me. Ron? Answer me." But sadly Ron was staring at Harry's rear and wondering if it was big enough to be its own country. "Oh forget it. I'm off to the pitch." Harry lept in the air like a crab had pinched his over large bottom and flew gracefully down the stairs into the fireplace.

By the time Harry had reached the Quidditch Pitch, a large crowd had turned up, and Fred and George Weasley were going around selling binoculars. "Oooo, an audience, must be my lucky day." Harry's thought were soon invaded by the sudden realisation that Snape was in the crowd. Now he would be sure to impress him with his amazing voice.

"People, your star has arrived!" Harry screamed to the crowd, as Hermionie started casting spells quicker then you can say Rumplestiltskin killed a minotour and was swiftly taken out of the history books for fear that he would be feared and rewritten as a fairy tale charactor, while the crowd cried out things like "Wheres my camera?" and "I need the loo!" Before long, the entire pitch was lit up with spotlights, and Harry was shaking his hips to the beat of "I'm a little teapot"? Well, he always had bad taste.

"Every body sing along! I'm a little..." Harry's ..um, amazing attempt to launch a singing career was interupted by a mysterious flying boot. "Ow, hmm, a note, on the shoe, woo, fancy. You could've just sent an owl!" Harry sat down in all his glory, and read to note.

"You're ass has shrunk, but .. other parts have grown? Ok. Who sent me this?" Harry stood up and yelled at the crowd, who all stopped and looked at his lower regions.

"HOLY SHIT!"