Title: Harry and Luna Watch a Porno

Author: DaimaAshiki

Author's Note: Here's another poem of me trying my hand at humor. It was inspired by and dedicated to the Fantastic Four. You know who you are! group hug

"Harry and Luna Watch a Porno"

Luna was at my house one day

It was innocent enough

That is until through channel surfing

We found some dirty stuff

I tried to change it quickly

But Luna was intrigued

I couldn't believe it when I heard her say,

"Go back one channel please."

My cheeks blushed red

'What should I do?'

I thought to myself quickly

'Had she mistaken what she'd seen

Or was I just this lucky?'

So I changed the channel

And sure enough

It was just what I had thought

And then it hit me, I couldn't believe it-

Luna and I were watching smut!

I'd never known we'd had this channel

Maybe it was new?

But what did anything like that matter

With a girl like Luna next to you!

So there we sat, just watching porn

The couple stripping quickly

I dared a glance at Luna then

And with another great surprise

I found her staring thoughtfully,

A look of excitement in her eyes!

Shouldn't this be making her nervous?

Shouldn't we not be watching this?

Surly the Dursleys would be back any second

And there was no way I'd let them catch me watching this!

I made a move to change the channel

But Luna stopped my hand.

"Harry, this is getting good."

It was then my throat turned into sand.

What was her plan with watching this?

Was there something that she'd expect?

My heart was pounding, my face was hot

'Oh my God, what are they doing with that coffee pot!

And then it began

That's right, I could feel it

If we watched this much longer

There'd be no way to conceal it!

It was then I heard a car outside

They Dursleys, they had now arrived

'Oh my fricken God, they're back!'

Was there any chance I'd come out of this

Without a fricken heart attack!

This was it, I had to act quickly

I grabbed the remote and changed the channel briskly

And just as the Dursleys walked in the front door

Luna asked, "Hey what'd you change the channel for?"

Oh my God, this was it

My short life was over

Luna was about to reveal

Our porn watching adventure!

The Dursleys stared with great suspicion

But luckily I stopped this embarrassing omission

"Luna likes 'Strange Happenings staring Ted McGruff,'

And I know how much you hate that stuff!"

The Dursleys retreated into the kitchen

I breathed a sigh of relief

Luna just looked at me strangely and asked,

"Who is this Ted McGruff of which you speak?"