Chapter 8

I would like to point out that all the horrorscope stuff is wrong, since I made it up, so don't belive anything of Saturns deadly rays!

"Oh William, pray tell, what tis thy reason for entering my boudoir?"

"What the fuck? Who's William, it's me Ginny, and what the fuck is a boudoir. Why are you dressed so weirdly?" Ginny yelled questionably at non other then the freak, Luna Lovgood (Or is it Lovegod, can't remember.) "Let's go, it's time for Dinner." Ginny grabbed Luna by her strange frilly frock and dragged her into the common room.

"Ginny, who's the freak?" Ron looked baffled as his enormas forehead (you could even call it a fivehead) furowed in concentration. This was one of Ron's uncommon faces, and scared Ginny, so she ran out, Luna yelling behind her, "Fear not, tis just the lack of nurishment of thine fair brother!"

"Ok, moving swiftly on. Harry, where have you been all day. You didn't go to potions did you? What happened, anything I need to catch up on." Ron failed to notice Harry's slow movments and pale face.

"I don't want to talk about it." he finally managed to utter.

"Why is everyone acting so weirdly this year, do you think its the millenium bug?"

"Ron, your a bit late learning the muggle news!" Hermionie jumped in to save the idiots from their own stupidity, and show off her flawless knowledge of current affairs in the muggle world. "It's the moon landing, everyone is acting weirdly since they moved the moon in front of Saturn, and everybody is obviously an Aquarius, since they crave Saturns rays to have a good time. But Malfoy, on the other hand, is a Leo, since Saturn's rays have a negative effect on him, which is why he looks so damn good." Harry nodded in agreement. None of them noticed the many flaws in Hermionie's encredably long speech, since no one was listening. "And that is why Colin has turned into Romeo!" Everyone suddenly paid attension and looked at Hermionie in awe, or confusion, she couldn't tell the difference. "Didn't you hear, he changed his name, to suit his new lifestyle. He's really sexy now!" Everyone started puking on the floor, and then ran out of the smelly common room to dinner. Surprisingly still hungry too.

Everyone ate silently at dinner. They could only remember parts of the party the previous night, but they feared others remembered more. Everytime somebody spoke, everyone listened, and in a split second, everyone knew Neville had eaten his toad, and wasn't there since he was moarning, Snape had bought a bunny and kept it in his bedroom, and Dumbledore had done a striptease in the teachers lounge.

"Students! It has come to my attension that gossip is running wild in the school. Beware, since it can hurt people with its sharp teeth." Hagrid whispered something in Dumbledore's ear. Everyone listened. " And Gossip is Snape's bunny! And I hear there is a reward for his safe return." The crowd cheered, and ran out to get their nets. Dumbledore thought this a good time to give Hagrid a lap dance. Snape took this oppertuinity to sneak out and help find his precious Gossip, and prevent himself from being permently scared as Hagrid got into the lap dance. The horror.

Hermionie was hiding quietly near the dungeons. She was sure the Slytherin would be where it was dark and mysterious, that would be just like her love. She had the perfect view from her cuboard, peeking out a gap in the door. She had even brought a picnic in case she didn't see Draco for a while. But she worried. Dobby had prepared it for her, and she knew he had a crush on her. The whole school knew. You couldn't keep secrets here anymore. They all knew everyone's business. Dobby could of easily slipped something in, like a love potion. She knew he could easily steal from Snape's supplys, what with him looking for his precious bunny, and why was he so suddenly obsessed with barnyard animals. Was this the work of Saturns rays. She knew that it could have strange effects, but she always thought Snape was a Libra. He should be happy without Saturn to interfer with his plans. But maybe his plans were bunny related all along? She sat pondering for a while, and Draco walked straight past with Crabbe, getting very intimate.

"Crabbe, not out here, people still think I'm straight. I'm not ready to come out as bi yet." Draco managed to stutter, pushing Crabbe into a wall, hitting a portrait of a strange little man in a top hat.

"Oh I say old chap's, watch the rolex!"

"But boss, you know I need you." Crabbe said, batting his eyelashes. Draco looked down on his big puppy dog eyes and his heart melted.

"Fine, into this cuboard! Quick, I hear someone coming." They dove into the cuboard just as Pansy walked past with Goyle.

"Oh plerlease, Goyley Poo, just let me put on a bit of eyeliner, you'd look so perdy!"

"Ok, but don't tell anyone." Goyle said quietly, and stopped suddenly when he heard snickering from the cuboard. "Did you hear that?"

"Oh Goyle, if you really want to be a female horror movie actress, you have to wait a while before you notice the obviously noticable noice, and then you have to have a shower anyway. Don't you watch the movies?" Goyle looked confused. "Ok, lets go do your make-up, and ignore the noises till they get really loud, so you die more dramatically." There was a loud bang. "EKk! Into the cuboard." They dove in quickly, and passers by heard many ouches and oofs, but luckily ignored them on their quest for the Holy Gossip.

Snape walked slowly and with confidence. He knew bunnys appretiate confidence. And with all the pupils chasing it, it would miss his late night loving. It was near the dungeons that he heard the noise. It seemed to come from a cuboard, so this was his lucky chance. It was either his precious bunny, or some students he can punish. Or maybe blackmail them into letting him join! Though that hadn't worked yet. Wonder why, he was a sex god! That's what bunny called him, or would if he could talk. Well, best just see who's inside.

"Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Draco, Granger, bunny! You stole my bunny! I will make you pay! Or.. you could let me join?" Hermionie was very worried. Snape now thought she had a sixsome with his bunny, and would probably give her a detension, and then her perfect record would be broken.

"Sir, it's not what you think!"

"Cut the crap Pansy, now, I want you all to join me in detension tomorrow, and I don't want to ever see you near my bunny ever again!"