Author's Note: Well, here it comes: The tearjerker chapter. In fact, it upset me so much just to write it at parts that there may be several spelling and grammatical errors at certain points since I was so emotional so I apologise in advance. This is a very talkie chapter but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. So, here it is: The third and final chapter. Enjoy and please leave a review, reading them makes me so very happy!
Chapter Three
"No," whispered Tifa. "No, it can't be. You… You… Cloud-"
"Yes, Tifa, it's me. And – I don't know what to say. What I did to you was – was terrible but you have to believe me when I say that these past few years I've been punishing myself more than anyone else ever could. Maybe that was part of the problem."
Cloud shook his head, as if attempting to clear his mind of the unpleasant thoughts that resided there. "Anyway, I'm sorry and I don't expect you to leap into my arms with the past forgotten but I am asking you to listen to me and let me explain my actions for myself and - Tifa? Are you listening to me?"
Tifa sat down heavily. The shock she felt right now was so immense and overwhelming she could barely comprehend a word Cloud was saying. All she could think was: How? How, after all of these years could he just be back so suddenly, just like that? She didn't dare think of the future and what may be about to happen. All she could think of was what had been and how on earth they could go back to how they were. It didn't seem possible. None of this seemed possible.
It took her a moment to realise that Cloud was looking for an answer. Tifa glanced up at him and saw the slightly confused, worried expression on his face that she'd seen so many times before.
"Yes," she finally mumbled. "Yes, I'm listening. This is all just a bit… sudden, is all."
"All right. That's understandable," Cloud said, seemingly more to himself than to Tifa and sank slowly into the chair next to her. "Let's take things nice and slow then. Ask me whatever you want and I'll try to answer as best I can."
The question leapt to Tifa's throat before she could prevent it but she bit it back. It was too soon to ask that, no matter how much she wanted to. Cloud was right; it was best to take things slow to begin with. "Wh-where have you been?"
Cloud stared vacantly ahead and to Tifa he looked like someone who had been on a journey of self-discovery and had perhaps not found that the answers he had found were to his liking. "Everywhere. Nowhere."
"Cloud, you're not making any sense."
"I know," he said quietly, blinking hard and shaking his head slightly. "It doesn't make sense to me either. I know generally whereabouts I've been but if you asked me to tell you exactly what I've been doing… I just don't know. It's like a few years of my life have been taken and blurred so much – like an old movie that you can barely remember since it's so long since you last saw it. I'm sorry, Tifa, but that's the best way for me to describe it."
Tifa looked up and saw the fearful, almost haunted look in her friend's eyes. She knew how painful his past was and she could understand that it was difficult for him to cope with but that simply didn't seem like a good enough excuse. She had always stood by Cloud and been more than willing to help him, to support him. He'd been the one that had left her and that was a pain she'd never forgotten.
She had never been a selfish or self-obsessed person, but Tifa had also been through her fair share of hard and difficult times and yet she'd never fallen the way Cloud had. Tifa had always been a doer and instead of feeling sorry for herself and withdrawing into her own little world, she'd done things. Even after Cloud, her last hope at the time, had left her she'd kept on living her life and eventually things had turned out well for her. She had a home that she loved, her own business that was doing better than she could have ever anticipated and Reno, her boyfriend who loved her more than anything.
Reno…
A new thought hit her now: What if he came back right now? What would he do, what would he say about the sudden reappearance of her ex-boyfriend? And how would Cloud himself react?
Tifa stood up suddenly, these new thoughts overriding her want for answers. And that was the thing that surprised her most because now, after all this time of waiting and hoping, she didn't even want to hear Cloud's excuses, especially as she had the growing suspicion that his answers wouldn't be the ones she wanted to here.
Shocked by her reaction, Cloud also stood. "Tifa, what's wrong?"
"You have to leave, Cloud. You have to leave now." Tifa reached inside her pocket and opened her purse before stuffing a few gil into Cloud's open palm. "Please, take this. It's enough for you to stay in a hotel for the night and then in the morning you can come back and we'll be able to discuss this properly."
"Why can't we talk about it now?" asked Cloud slowly, his eyes finally taking in the other glass of wine on the table and the lit candles.
"Well, you kept me waiting for over a year for you, Cloud, I think you can last a few hours!" Tifa snapped. She took a deep breath and composed herself before looking levelly at Cloud again. "I'm sorry but this is a little difficult to digest right now. I'm tired; it's been a busy day. In the morning I'll have been able to work things out a little better and-"
"There's someone else, isn't there?" Cloud said in barely more than a whisper. He looked up at Tifa, a deep sadness in his eyes and saw the truth in her brown ones before the words even left her mouth.
"Yes… Yes there is. But you have to understand Cloud I've been alone for so long. Did you really expect me to wait forever? For all I knew you weren't even coming back!" Tears spilled down her cheeks and Cloud's face distorted and changed, refracting into a thousand different Clouds, their features blurry and barely distinguishable.
This is when I usually wake up, she thought sadly and then –
"Princess? Princess, you there? How come the door's open?" called an all too familiar voice. Tifa swallowed and held her breath as Reno came sauntering through the door, exactly how she'd feared he would.
It took precious few seconds for the smile to slowly slip off Reno's face as his eyes met Cloud's, and for the already palpable tension to grow ten times more so.
"What is he doing here?" asked Reno levelly and Tifa knew that the ex-Turk was putting all of his skills of self-constraint to use. She could practically feel the hatred sparking between the two of them in mighty waves and her stomach lurched as the two men she loved most in the world tried to stare each other out.
The silence seemed to stretch for an eternity until eventually Cloud spoke.
"No," he whispered and finally turned away from Reno to stare at Tifa again with his mako eyes. "No, not him. Anyone but him. How could you possibly-? I mean, Tifa, he's a killer!"
"At least I'm not the kind of sad, cowardly loser who clears off in the middle of the night leaving nothing but a note," replied Reno calmly.
"Oh, really? Because I'm sure your one-night stands think different. Oh, no, wait – you didn't even leave them a note. You've stopped having them, though, haven't you? An honourable man like you wouldn't even consider cheating on someone who's so trusting they wouldn't so much as dream of you betraying them," snarled Cloud angrily.
"It's not like that, Cloud!" said Tifa, feeling completely helpless as all hell threatened to let loose in her bar. "Reno, please. Go upstairs. I'll sort this out – and careful of the broken glass on the floor as you go."
Reno opened his mouth as if to protest but then he closed it again resolutely and, giving Cloud one last angry glance, he stormed across the bar and into the storeroom that led to their upstairs apartment. The door slammed behind him and Cloud and Tifa were left alone once more only now Cloud's expression had changed. Now it reminded her uncomfortably of Barret's when he had first discovered her relationship with the ex-Turk, only a thousand times worse.
No longer able to stand the silence, Tifa said the first thing that came to her head: "Say something, Cloud."
"What is there to say?" said Cloud quietly, his gaze now fixed firmly on the floor.
"Fine. I gave you you're chance to say what you thought and you passed it up. Now I'm going to talk, Cloud, and you are going to listen."
Tifa took a deep breath and found that this wasn't going to be as difficult as she'd expected it to be. All she had to do was put the feelings in her heart into words. What else could she do?
"When you left me," she began quietly and then continued hurriedly as she saw Cloud about to interrupt, "And no, Cloud, I don't want to know why you left. For all I know, you could have a perfectly valid, understandable reason for what you did but frankly I don't want to here it. What you've done, you've done and that's that. I was alone for a long time when you left and I guess I thought that maybe – maybe I would never be happy ever again."
Tifa moved over to the window and leaned against the wall, staring out at the rain pounding down upon the glass pane. She gave a quiet laugh. "Isn't it funny how we have a habit of finding happiness when we least expect it, and where? When Reno turned up here… I guess it actually reminded me a little of when you showed up again, you know, before the whole Meteor business. You'd made me feel good about myself and that's what Reno did for me. Only, my feelings towards you were pretty much one sided – don't deny it. You know that it's true. Even when we were together at the end of it all I sometimes wondered if that was what you really wanted… But that doesn't matter anymore.
"But Reno – he felt about me how I felt about him. And I'm not going to lie to you; he hasn't changed into this perfect boyfriend who's always there when he says he will be, and always remembers your birthday and other special occasions but neither were you, Cloud. And I love Reno and I want to make it work with him so much that I'm even giving up you and me having another shot at it. Doesn't that tell you something Cloud? Let's face it; we've had our fair share of chances and we blew it. That's life. Our ship has sailed and I'm not going to risk my new relationship on trying to revive an old one that was dead far before it was over. I'm sorry, Cloud but that's the truth."
As Tifa spoke, Cloud sank into the chair again, his head in his hands. He looked up at Tifa when she had done and even surprised himself by managing a wan smile. "If he ever hurts you, Tifa-"
"He won't," she assured Cloud gently, glad that he was taking it so well.
Cloud nodded and his eyes seemed to glaze over again. Tifa tried to work out what he was thinking; maybe he was wondering what to do next, or maybe he was regretting past mistakes. Maybe it was something completely different.
She sat down delicately in the chair opposite Cloud and smiled sadly, the flickering lights of the candle reflected in her eyes. "There's just one thing that I have to know, Cloud. Why did you come back today?"
"Because I got back today," said Cloud in puzzlement.
"Okay but why today in particular. Why Valentine's Day?"
Cloud leaned back, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. "I honestly had no idea that was what today was…"
To his surprise, Tifa actually laughed. "Same Cloud. Oblivious to the last."
She was quiet again for a while, until another thought occurred to her. "You know," she mumbled softly, pulling Cloud out of his own revere. "I never liked to admit it to myself at the time but near the end things did get quite rocky, didn't they?"
"We argued constantly," agreed Cloud with a small grin. "Clash of personalities, I suppose. And I guess I was a little preoccupied with my own thoughts."
Tifa leaned forwards across the table, her eyebrows raised. "You guess that you were a little preoccupied?"
Cloud gave a shrug of acceptance. She sat back again; relaxing slightly and her eyes took on a sad, dreamy quality. "Well, I had my own insecurities too. All the time we were together, I… Oh, I don't know. It was just that every time when you touched my arm I would wonder why you didn't kiss me and then when you kissed me, I'd always wonder whether you really wanted to or not… And I hated myself for feeling that way and that meant that sometimes I hated you too. I'd rather love you and have you as a friend, Cloud, than risk all that on a relationship that could well have been doomed from the start and end up hating you."
Cloud stood up and moved to behind Tifa, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly. "I know," he murmured and she could hear the regret in his voice. He too despaired over the breakdown of their relationship and just knowing that made Tifa feel better than any explanation he could have given her. She leant into his hands, feeling their comforting warmth.
There was a long pause until Cloud finally whispered, "What do you want me to do, Tifa?"
Tifa took a deep breath and turned around in her chair to face Cloud. "I want you to leave. And I want you to go somewhere far from here – away from sadness, regret, love and all of those other things that mess people up. But I also want you to put the past behind you once and for all, let it go and get on with your life. And then, with time, the old wounds will begin to heal and you'll be able to find happiness with someone too. Because everybody heals with time and with healing comes the ability to love again, an ability that is so easily lost and yet so difficult to regain afterwards. We all need love, Cloud, and we all deserve it even those of us who have been deprived it for so very long."
"I don't know if I can quite believe that's true Tifa," said Cloud quietly but his voice remained steady. Gently, he squeezed her shoulders. Then, he moved resignedly away towards the door while speaking over his shoulder, "I'll come back again one day soon, I promise, to see you properly and see how you're doing."
Tifa looked down sadly and when she looked up at Cloud again there were tears in her eyes. "I don't think you will, Cloud."
Another slow, sad nod of acceptance, and then Cloud pulled on the doors handle and was about to move through the door when he turned back again and smiled miserably at her through his own tears. "I loved you Tifa. I loved you so very much."
"I know and I loved you too. And who knows, given the right circumstances maybe it even could have worked between us?"
"I'd like to think that. Goodbye Tifa," said Cloud.
"Goodbye, Cloud," whispered Tifa and with that he closed the door of Seventh Heaven and left her on her own to weep.
"What are you doing?" whispered a voice from the doorway.
Reno turned from his suitcase to see Tifa leaning against the wooden door. She looked older somehow and tired, so very tired. He felt his heart lurch and wanted so badly to run to her and hold her in his arms but now that Pretty Boy was back in the picture…
"I'm leaving," he said shortly, turning his back on her as he packed another shirt.
"Don't go," he heard her voice break and could imagine the tears rolling down her face. "Please, Reno, please don't go! I couldn't bear it, not now."
"Not now? I'd have thought that once Strife was back you'd want me to leave more than ever. I'm only pre-empting the inevitable so don't try and spare my feelings. I'm a Turk, remember, we don't feel anything. In fact, I'm not even sure I did ever love you!"
"Don't say that!" The pain in Tifa's voice made him want so badly to touch her soft skin again, hold her and love her and comfort her.
Reno slumped over his suitcase and the tears he had been willing away began to pour freely. He tried to hide them from her but when it became clear that he couldn't, he turned to face his long-term girlfriend and cried, "I gave you my heart, Tifa! I gave you my everything and now that he's back you're just going to leave me. Okay, I admit it, I lied. I loved you, the second I walked in here a year ago I fell in love with you and I still love you now but I can see that you never felt that way about me. I was just some temporary replacement until your knight in shining armour decides to show up again and you go running into his arms, forgetting everything he put you through!"
"You've got it wrong, Reno!" Tifa wailed, running to him and grabbing his arm. He tried to sake her off but she clung on tight. "Of course I love you. Cloud, Cloud he-"
"Don't lie for me, Tifa," said Reno quietly, having regained his composure but still unable to prevent the tears from running down his face. "Don't try to spare my feelings! I don't want to get in the way… You and Pretty Boy – I mean, you and Cloud were meant for each other. I don't want to stand in the way of that. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, Tifa."
"Cloud's gone!"
It was the first thing that came into Tifa's head but it had the desired effect. Reno was silent and stared down at her with his amazing aquamarine eyes.
"What?"
"He's gone," repeated Tifa. "I asked him to leave. I loved Cloud a long time ago Reno but I love you now and as far as I know I will forever. I love you so very, very much Reno. Please don't leave."
Reno blinked at Tifa and then a slow smile spread across his face. He grabbed Tifa and pulled her into a tight embrace, which she reciprocated gladly. "I – I thought you were going to leave me."
"Never," whispered Tifa into his arms. "Never!"
They stood like that a long time, holding tightly onto each other as if they'd never let go. Eventually, Reno stirred and grinned at her.
"Hey," he said softly as Tifa pulled away to look up at him. "I haven't given you your Valentine's Day present yet."
"I hadn't forgotten. As if I'd let you get away with that!" joked Tifa lightly but she felt a small flutter in her stomach. She had forgotten all about her surprise.
"I'm not sure whether you're going to like it or not, especially after the day's traumas. Feel free to refuse, if you want to but this is something I've wanted to give you for a very long time and today seemed appropriate…" Reno reached inside his jacket pocket and fumbled around a while, swearing quietly as he searched for whatever it was.
Finally, Reno pulled out a small, velvet box and grinned. "This is going to seem really corny," he mumbled apologetically and Tifa was shocked to see him blush slightly. Reno embarrassed?
Slowly, Reno sank down to one knee and opened the little box to reveal a gleaming gold ring set with two diamonds on either side of a glittering ruby. Tifa felt the tears well up in her eyes yet again as she stared down at the beautiful ring he was offering her and she waited for him to say the words she longed to here more than she'd ever thought:
"Tifa Lockheart, will you marry me?"
Tifa nodded through her tears, unable to speak and threw her arms around his neck and pulling his face in to meet hers in a fit of joyful passion, her tears evaporating on his face. "Yes," she whispered in his ear and felt Reno shudder with joy around her. "Yes, of course I will."
