Disclaimer: Yeah right. I own x-men and Looney Toons Yet I sit here writing for free:(
Jamie: Come on people! Hold Logan Down if you have to just get the costume on him!
(Scream of anguish in the background and then the sounds of claws on flesh and a body hitting the floor.)
Jamie: Oh, just do without Scott! Scrape his body up though! We're going into the first scene! And where the hell is Magneto?
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Logan bunny: Eric Fudd
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(Camera pans in to typical forest scene and we see a rabbit hole in the centre of a clearing, and Logan with bunny ears and a cute bunny tale.)
Logan: Why? Why me? Have you ever seen a rabbit with adamantium claws? Well have you?
(Logan manages a smile at the camera and bites the lid off a beer bottle, and chews on it)
Logan: I'm not saying it! Never, Never, Never!
(We hear an adamantium drill off camera, directed in Logan's general direction)
Logan: (Strained) What's...up... Bub?
(Logan breaks down in tears as the camera pans to a nearby location. We see Magneto being ushered on screen wearing a huge hunter hat, carrying a shotgun. He tiptoes forward and looks at the camera)
Magneto: Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting X-Men... I am not laughing like this fool! Yes, I know we're on, but I don't care. I refuse to do the laugh.
( He tiptoes forward again, and to add to the stealth, let's throw in his creepy X-Men: Evolution Theme Tune.)
Magneto: Look! Woga... Logan tracks! Curse this imbosiles primative voice...
(He follows the boot ridge tracks to a hole in the ground. Logan sticks his head out of the hole)
Magneto: Ahh, Wolverine. Living in a hole now, are we? How the mighty have fallen.
SNIKT!
Logan: Six reasons for you to walk away, Bub!
Jamie:(Offstage) Script! We didn't lock Push Me up in a room for three weeks, just for you to disobey him!
Push Me:(Offstage) I was a human being once! sniff...sniff .
Logan: Ennnhhhh! What's...up...Bub?
Jamie:(Offstage) That didn't kill you did it?
Logan: (Shakes head sadly) Not on the outside, kid... Not on the outside...
Magneto: Moving swiftly on... Hands up, you scwewy X-Man!
(Points the shotgun at Logan's chest. Logan leans on the end of the barrel, still chewing on the bottle lid, although a small trickle of blood is
slipping out of the corner of his mouth.)
Logan: You aen't goin' te shoot me, are ya bub?
(Magneto looks confused momentairily)
Magneto: Well...actually... yes, I am a hunter. And this is my gun. Why not?
Logan: Well you can't just go round shootin X-Men with the wrong gun? That's an acolyte gun. Shouldn't you be huntin' acolytes?
(A certain Aussie walks on with a bemused smile)
Pyro: Yeah... Why are you huntin' with an acolyte gun boss? You aen't huntin' us acolytes are ya?
Magneto: No, don't you see it's a trick, he wants you to think that so...
Gambit: Yeah, (Strutts on Bo-Staff in hand) Remy don' t'ink he wanna be shot at. Not what you'd ca' fun is it?
Magneto: (Sweating)Well, no, I don't think it would be fun butt... no! Don't you see?
He's trying to make us fight so he can escape... where's he gone?
(We cut to another forest scene with Logan doing the traditional Bugs Bunny Laugh)
Logan: Hahahaha! What a moron! Hahahaha! What a ding bat! What an ultra-maroon!
(He turns a corner(In a forest? What was I on?) and sees a gun barrel pointed in his face by a rather beaten Magneto)
Magneto: Hands up you scwewy X-Man!
Logan: Here goes, MMMMMMWWWWWAAAAAHHHH!
(He does the oh so loved Bugs bunny kiss and bolts with Magnetostaring after him dreamilybefore following, firing and Logan doing the Bugs Bunny'Jump Bullet'. (Shut Up!You've all seen it!)Logan gains a lead and Magneto arrives at a clearing to see a clear bottle with Logan inside disguised as a Genie.)
Logan: Me Genie of la... bottle. Release me and I shall grant youone wish!
Magneto: What the... I'm supposed to fall for that?
SHINK!
(The bottle falls open to reveal Logan claws unsheathed)
Logan: That's it Bub! It's go time! You can diss the claws, and the bunny hole, but NEVER the Genie outfit!
Magneto: Why not? It's pathetic! You're pathetic! This whole Fanfic is pathetic! And in my opinion, Push Me is the worst writer eve...
(Slumps to floor. Jamie cocks tranquiliser gun.)
Jamie: Such a waste. I needed all six tranqs to use when Pyro realised who he's playing. Now we're all dead!
Logan: Soooo... I'm free to go?
Jamie: Hell no! Stand In!
(Mystique walks onto the set, morphing into Magneto on the way)
Logan: Oh, No!
Jamie: Alright, Action!
Logan: (Mumbles about how after the show he's gonna kill everyone who saw him dressed like this) Oh, right. Ehem... For releasing me, I hereby grant you one
wish.
Mystique: Hmmm...I would like... (Looks to camera) I would like? I would like a trip to Europe! (Back to Logan) I would like to have the X-Man. I'm hunting
X-Men. Ehehehehheh!
Logan: Ok, stand back!
(He stands hands above his head and twitches his nose before bursting into Genie chant)
Logan: IGIDY-AGIDY-OOO-AAA-AAA! ZIGADY-ZAGIDY-OOO-EEE-EEE! OOO-OOO-EEE! EEE-EEE-OOO! IGADY-AGADY-OOOP! He's yours.
Mystique: O-O. Never do that again.
(Lance walks on wearing a bunny costume with cellotaped on claws.)
Lance: Logan? You said Kitty would meet me here!
("Magneto" points the barell towards Lance)
Mystique:Hands up you Scwewy X-Man!
(Lance pushes the barell away)
Lance: Two things. One, I'm not an X-Man. You of all people should know that. And two: Are you afrikin' moron!He's a frikin' X-Man! Shoot Him!
Logan:(Enters dressed up as Lance) Now just a darn minute. How can I be an X-Man, when I don't look like one, and ain't as smart as one? Shoot him foo'
Lance: I'm more of an idiot! He's the X-man, shoot him!
Logan:Him!
Lance:Him!
Logan:Him!
Lance:Him!
Logan:Me!
Lance:Me! Fire!
BANG!
Lance: Let's try that again, this time I start! Him!
Logan:Him!
Lance:Him!
Logan:Me!
Lance:Me! Fire!
BANG!
Lance: Let's try that, one more time...
Logan: OK. Me!
Lance: Me! Fire!
BANG!
Lance: (To Logan) You're dispicable. (To Mystique) Alright, you got me. Take me in for the reward money now...
Mystique: Gracious, no! You see, I'm a mutant too, to take you in for the money would be cruel. I just hunt for the sport of it.Ehehehehe!
Logan: Oh, yeah? Well there's other sports besides huntin' ya know!
(Bobby((The REAL Daffy)) prances on in tennis outfit with a racket)
Bobby: Anyone for Tennis?
(Mystique promptly shoots him dragging a "You're dispicable" from him too.)
Jamie: That's him down 'till the next sketch...
Logan:(To Mystique) Anyway, It's not even X-Man season, it's Brotherhood season until...
Lance: Liar! It's X-Man season.
Logan:It's Brotherhood season.
Lance: X-Man seaso...
(Both Mutants glare at "Magneto".)
(Hunting Horn sounds)
Lance/Logan: It's acolyte season!
Mystique: Uh, Oh...
(Cut to scene in forest with Mystique running and Logan and Lance tip-toeing after her with guns)
Logan: Be wery,wery quiet. we're hunting acolytes.
Lance: Ehehehehe!
Now you kinda have to picture the end scene coming up with the Merrie Melody's Music and Logan popping out the "That's all Folks" line.
Jamie: Aaaand, Cut! Not bad people, just get off and change the set for the next sketch! Wake up Bobby, and see if Pyro's costume's ready yet! This'll be fun!
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