Disclaimer: I own nothing... except that assasin behind your head toting a gun... All he
wants is a hug...
Sorry About Mega, Mega Long update... Computers. I typed this in a library, at a friends, at school lunchtimes... oh and by the way for those of you who read my reviews, shaunyboy goes to my school and s an idiot. any cusses for him...Review 'em to me. It ain't abuse cause he started it. E.G. ShaunyBoy is so... he... Get it? Credit goes to best one!
Jamie: Alright... Did you catch the truck? Good. Remy Ok? Good. My cookie ready?
No? You're dead!
(Gunshot herard, and for the second time this story, Scott drops on the ground dead)
Push Me: Don't I just love Scott?
(By the way, Yes I am insane. I appear an ordinaryFanfic writer by day, But at night I am... BATMAN! I'm also a ferocious liar. I'm lieng now. And now. And...)
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Remy Lepew
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(Camera pans in on Bayville where everyone is being extremely polite to each other. We see Duncan riding a bike round a corner and sees Remy in an adorable Skunk costume)
Duncan: (Trying not to laugh) Ahhh, A skunk!
Remy: I'm not a skunk! I'm from New Orleans! It ain't my fault!
Duncan:(Looking around desperatly)Somebody call the cops! Quick!
Remy: (Terrified) No! Not the cops! A few weeks ago, Remy got himself shot by a cop bullet, and they say, when the moon is full, those shot by a cop bullet will...will...
BECOME A COP! (Starts crying)
Duncan: How does that effect me? POLICE!
(Duncan runs off, leaving Remy behind. The police hear his call of "N'Orlean!"
and deploy the one unit they can to disract him. The Kat unit-254. A.K.A: Kitty
Her annoying voice could bring down Push Me. As much as he loves her...)
(Kitty phases through a wall behind Remy, who panics and throws a bottle of white varnish at her, which connects with her hair, leaving two white streaks in her hair.((See where this is going?)) Remy looks up to see "Rogue")
Kitty: Uuuuunnngghhh! This will never come out!
Remy: Ohhhhhh, Cheré...
Kitty: Cheré? Oh, you mean Rogue, Well I'm Kitty...
Remy: Ahhh, playing hard to get cheré? Remy loves that!
Kitty: No Gambit! I'm not Rogue, I'm Kitty, and if you take one more step, I'm going
to Logan, Swamp Rat!
Remy:(Not taking the hint) AAAHHAAA!
Kitty: That doesn't sound good for me...
Remy: I know you're my cheré...because only she calls me Swamp Rat!
Kitty: Whoops
Remy: (Prances towards her) C'mon cheré, give Remy a kiss!
(He grabs her and tries to kiss her, but she phases through his arms and starts to run)
Remy: >sigh Remy loves it when sheborrow powers to play with Remy...
(He prances like Pépé Lépew and follows her calling out to her)
Remy:(Sing-Song)Where are you cheré? Remy is seeking you, and not able to find
you...
(Kitty stands behind a corner and as Remy comes round the corner, KERPLUNKS
him on the head with Lockheed. LockHeed bounces harmlessly to the floor.)
Kitty: Oh, crap!
(Kitty scrambles behind her for a weapon, and out of a gun, grenade, machete andan apple,guess which one she picks up...)
Remy: Oh good, Remy loves apples. Are you making a peace offering?
(She throws the apple at him, and it connects with his eyes)
Remy: Ahhh! Remy's gorgeous eyes! It burns! It Burns!
(Kitty legs down a corridor, with Remy recovering and prancing after her.She runs into a room, locks the door and collapses in an armchair)
Remy:(Behind her) Tired already? Cheré...Remy was just warming up!
Kitty: Get away from me, you disgusting Pervert!(Slaps him)
Remy: Remy loves it when you talk dirty...
(Kitty phases through him, grabbing his heart, and clutches in her hand behind him. Gambit doesn't react)
Kitty: Wha...? You should be dead! This doesn't make sense! Push Me!
(She calls to the sky. There is a lightning bolt and Push Me appears, complete with Darth Vader outfit and voice implifier)
Push Me: Yes?
Kitty:(Holds up heart, which is stillbeating) What in the blue, Frozen, Darth Vaderless hell is going on?
By the way, Did Anakin Skywalker go to Heaven or Hell? Answers via postcard please...
Push Me: Is something wrong?
Kitty: Okay, from the beggining... WHY is Gambit chasingME? When I have a totally different body shape than Rogue's, so he knows it's me?
Also, WHY isn't he dieing with me standing here holding his heart? And Finally, WHY are you dressed like that?
Push Me: The answer to all the above questions is: Because I want to. And you can't stop me!
(Looks at Camera) Push Me wishes to take a moment of your time to plug the new Star Wars Film. PLUG,PLUG,PLUG!
(Push Me exits up through the roof of the storyboard)
Remy: (nonchalantly) If yous not usin that cheré, can Remy have that back? He needs it to love you...
Kitty: Ewwww... No way!
(Throws it in a blender...Which just happens to be there... I dunno... Logan making Smoothies?)
(Kitty looks at Remy triumphantly who shrugs. A new heart appears and the wound closes)
Kitty: How'd you...?
Remy: Push Me felt the story was going nowhere... decided to give it a boost. Anyway cheré, seeing as you want Remy to die...
(Sadly pulls out a revolver and points it at his head)
Remy: ... I will end my life...
(Walks around a corner and a BANG! is heard.)
Kitty: Remy No! I didn't mean for you to die! Just leave me alone! (Crying) I'm sorry!
Remy: Don't worry cheré... Remy Miss!
Kitty: How?
Remy:(Shrug) Anyway... you don't want Remy to die?
Kitty: No... You're cute, handsome, sweet, funny, charming and...(REALISATION) Boy! On that bed now!
(The two begin to make out when the door opens and in walks...Rogue)
Rogue: Remy!
Remy: (Realisation) Off me woman! (Pushes Kitty to the floor) Cheré! Remy swear he thought it was you an'...
Rogue: Don't worry sugah, I ain't blamin' you, but there's a cat in this room that's gonna get ''Plucked'' shall we say?
Kitty: Rogue, I swear this isn't what it looks like! I swear! I... You... HE came on to me! Put the tweezers down!
(And so, asKitty's anguished screams rang into the nightwe get a happy ending...)
Jean: Happy? how can this be happy when a poor girl, a victim of male sexist cheaters is now gettingher hairs plucked?
(Army of Jamies march on and beat her with objects of all kinds)
Push Me: Thank you...
Jamie: OK my people, find Pietro and Wanda for the next scene! Finish off Jean first though!
Next up... RoadRunner! My favourite!
