Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Rainforest Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 3 – Voldemort and the Geckos

Craig the Evil Toilet spitting geckos at Voldemort was not a normal occurrence, Glumbumbles, Flobberworms and Streelers were however perfectly normal. So Voldemort was not expecting these hideously freakish and ugly animals to come flying from Craig's mouth and was suitably distressed when they did.

Craig himself began to laugh delightedly after he had watched Voldemort run, scared to Wormtail. How happy he was now that he knew that Dolohov's information has been correct. Who ever would have thought that Lord Voldemort supposedly the greatest Dark Lord in the world was afraid of geckos? The world was becoming curiouser and curiouser.

Meanwhile Wormie was trying his damndest to calm the distressed man who currently resided in his arms. However that was not to be as Voldemort continued to snuggle into Wormie's arms as he cried. It was then that Wormtail knew he had to teach his Master a harsh lesson, for if Harry Potter were to know if his fear of geckos there would be no end to the disgusting mudbloods.

So, Wormtail did the probably the bravest thing in the world, he dropped the Dark Lord on the ground. As he did so he shouted, "You have got to stop acting like such a Nancy boy…Master."

Now Voldemort had stopped crying the second he hit the ground only for his eyes to well up when he heard Wormtail's command. It was this tear stained face with its thin, invisible wobbling lip that caused Wormtail to stoop and hug the poor baby.

"My Lord I am so sorry, but it is true. If Harry Potter were to ever discover your fear why, you would not win, no matter how stupid the boy is," Wormtail said gently.

"I know, it's just… hiccup… so hard… hiccup… 'cause they're so… hiccup… scary. But I'll try… hiccup… 'cause I wanna win," Voldemort sniffled.

"I know they're scary, they really aren't all that natural, particularly the way their tails continue to wiggle after they are cut from their body. Do you remember they time we killed that gecko together using the broom? Hmm?" Wormtail asked.

"Yes," Voldemort replied. "That was when I sprayed him with Mrs Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover. I hated the way it jumped off the wall, right onto my leg. But you saved me Wormie, thank you."

"That's all right my Lord, I like saving you from the geckos. And killing them makes me feel like a man," Wormtail confided.

"Really?" Voldemort asked.

"Yes," Wormtail replied. "I am really just a man with a small penis and saving my Master from small animals I feel as though my life is fulfilled."

"That's nice," Voldemort replied. "Will you take me to bed now? Please?"

"I would love to."

To be continued…

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and please, question my insanity no longer. The answer is clear after all.

Please review before the dancing hoola hoops get you!