2: Snivellus baiting

Remus turned up a day or two later. He was in the Great Hall, eating breakfast when they came down. He looked ill and tired and his right hand was bandaged up but otherwise he seemed exactly as they remembered him. They sat down in their normal places quietly, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Hi guys," Remus said.

"Remus," began James. "About when we jumped you-"

"If it's alright with you, I'd rather forget about it," Remus replied lightly.

"Alright, but we're sorry. We didn't mean to upset you like that."

"Okay."

"Okay?" said Sirius incredulously. "Okay? That's it?"

"Okay," repeated Remus. "Pass the rolls, would you?" Sirius gave him a long look, then broke into a grin and threw him a roll. Remus caught it deftly in his un-bandaged hand and grinned back.

"So you're feeling better then?"

"A little… Wait, what makes you think I might not be feeling-"

"Well the mummified hand kinda gives it away." Remus glanced at his hand. "Oh yeah. It's nothing. It was just an accident."

"Looks painful."

"Well Madam Pomfrey gave me something for it and it's much better now," he said dismissively and tried to cut the roll one handedly. After several failed attempts James lost patience.

"Are you going to ask for help or not? Look, give it here." He reached over and took his friends plate, cutting and buttering the roll for him. "You are hopeless Lupin, you really are. Why won't you let us help you with anything? Do you want jam on this or what?"

Remus smiled lopsidedly. "Call it an… independent streak. And jam's good thanks."

"Independent nothing! Where do you keep disappearing off to? You're going to lose all your OWL's the way you're going. You miss half your classes as it is."

"I'll manage." Remus said stiffly. "And this is another of those subjects that I'd rather not talk about just now." The four went quiet again. Peter tried to change the subject.

"We saw someone out near the Whomping Willow last night." Remus turned to him sharply. A little too sharply.

"You what? Who?"

"I don't know. It was raining and we were up in the dorm. It's quite a way out. Sirius just though he saw someone out there but they disappeared. He might have been imagining it."

"I was NOT imagining it!" Sirius said exasperatedly. "You saw it too, remember?"

"Why is everyone so grumpy today?" butted in James quickly, before anyone could say anything else. "Don't be difficult Peter, you know you saw something. I was there. Stop sulking Remus, and you too Sirius. I know what will cheer you up."

"What?" growled Sirius, in a voice that said there was nothing on earth that could make him feel better. James grinned and the twinkle came into his eyes that made him and Sirius look so abnormally alike whenever they were plotting together.

"Snivellus baiting," he said with glee. The other three couldn't resist a smile.

They had to wait until Potions and Transfiguration classes had gone by until they had the chance to think of something. At lunchtime they met up in the library and sat watching Severus sit in a corner, his head buried in a book entitled 'Crime and Punishment: A History of Dark Magic Through the Ages'.

"Nice friendly topic he's got there," said Remus dryly. "Are you two sure about this?" Sirius and James both turned to him and winked. There it was; that weird similarity. You could just tell they were up to no good.

"Of course we're sure," said James. "Nasty little slimeball. Besides he deserves it for blaming that Potions explosion on me."

"James, that was you."

"Oh yeah."

"Besides, what could possibly go wrong?" asked Sirius.

Remus grinned and wondered whether they would want the list alphabetically or in order of significance. But he was just as keen as anyone. He had to admit, it sounded funny.

James lifted a book to hide his wand as he took it out and muttered a few words. A faint pink rainbow arched up and out of the cover of the book, striking Snape gently on top of the head. The youth reached up and scratched his greasy head, then continued reading.

"Was that it? Did it work?" Sirius wanted to know.

"It worked," replied James, a huge grin, plastered on his face. "But we'll have to wait for it to show. Isn't there anything more… immediate we could do? Remus, you've got to have something?" Remus held back.

"Come oooooon," pleaded Sirius.

"Well there is one thing…"

"Go for it!" James passed him the book as he took out his own wand. Flicking it gently, he recited a few words, altering them to fit his needs. The near-invisible spark flew over their heads and landed on the same spot on Severus' head. They waited in anticipation.

"Nothing's happening," whispered Peter.

"Patience," murmured Remus. Then Severus moved. He scratched his nose.

"Remus-"

"There!" Remus hissed. A red spot had appeared on Snape's nose.

"Is that it?" began Sirius, then Peter made a choking noise as he tried to stifle a burst of laughter. Red spots had begun to appear all over Snape's face and he was starting to scratch in earnest now. They grew and grew and got redder and redder until they were actually sticking out of his face like golf balls. Snape scratched harder and harder, standing up and doing what amounted to a funny little dance to reach the ones on his back.

James was in hysterics, burying his face in his robe to hide his laughter as Snape pranced around the library, giant spots and all. Sirius actually had tears running down his cheeks.

"It's… g… genius… R- Remus!" he cried, struggling to get the words out. The other students had started to notice the dancing Severus too and were doubling over in fits of giggles.

" I can't- I ca-ca-hahaha!" sobbed Peter, trying to speak, shaking with glee. Snape had now reached the front of the library and was trying to explain himself to the librarian while still scratching furiously and hopping around like a demented frog. The librarian sighed, waved her wand and the spots were gone. Severus sagged with relief and several of the students said "Oh!" in disappointed voices. Then Snape pointed at the four, his eyes glistening with hate and embarrassment, and the librarian began to advance down the aisle towards them.

James just managed to wipe his eyes and hold back the laughter long enough to say "Uh oh".

"And for your detentions, you will be shelf-stacking in the library for a week!"

James sighed, it was no more than he'd expected. The four of them were lined up in Professor McGonagall's office, hands clasped guiltily behind their backs.

"Mister Lupin, I would have expected better from you, and you three: did I not warn you about harassing other pupils?" She sighed and waved them away. "You may go. But think about what I'm telling you. You are no longer children. You have responsibilities now. Use them wisely."

"Well that went as well as could be expected," said Remus once they were outside.

"Oh, but it was worth it for that look on Snivellus's face," said James dreamily. "I can still smell the pus."

"That's disgusting, James," smiled Remus.

"I couldn't see any difference to how it usually looks," Sirius commented and the four of them started chuckling again. "That was inspired, Remus! Where on earth did you come up with that?"

"I don't know. I've just had a lot of time to think recently. When will your spell kick in James?"

"Oh sometime tomorrow, around breakfast time. But until then, we have shelves to stack. Come on." They trooped off towards the library, the thought of a weeks worth of lifting and carrying the heavy tomes balanced out rather nicely by the memory of Snape's bulging red face.