4: The truth-telling
"NO! What are you doing? Can't you leave me alone for five minutes?"
This time Remus didn't struggle nearly as hard and they managed to drag him into a side room and latch the door. James and Sirius dumped him in a chair and Sirius stepped up behind him to hold him down by the shoulders. Remus squirmed uncomfortably but Sirius had the advantage and he couldn't wriggle free.
"What is this all about?" he said crossly, trying to sit up straight against the force of Sirius' arms.
"Why, don't you tell us, Mister Moonlight Wanderer," said James. "Lumos!" He lit up his wand and shone it in Remus' eyes like an interrogators lamp, which was totally unnecessary as the windows were open and the room was full of sunlight.
"Ow! Do you have to do that?" he complained.
"No," admitted James with a grin, "but I saw it in a movie they showed us in Muggle Studies once and I always wanted to try it." Remus gave a little smile and he toned down the glow.
"We need to talk, Remus," he said, more seriously. "We know what you are."
"What, annoyed? Bruised? Needing some new robes that aren't stretched beyond recognition?"
"All good guesses, but no," Sirius said. Peter scuffed his feet nervously in the background.
"We know, Remus," said James, kneeling in front of him. "We know you're a werewolf." They all held their breaths, waiting for Remus' reaction. He stared James straight in the face, as if he could read whether it was a bluff or not from his expression. James stared him out for a long time.
Then Remus dropped his head into his hands.
"Oh no," he whispered. "No no no no!"
James stood up and stepped back in shock. He had expected, maybe even hoped, that Remus would laugh, or look confused or even try to deny it. He had not foreseen this bleak admission of guilt.
"So it's true?" said Sirius quietly, also stunned by the reaction. Remus didn't answer. He had buried his head in his sleeves. Sirius touched him gently on the arm.
"How long have you known?" Remus asked, voice muffled by the robes.
"Not long. James guessed it about a month ago and we were just waiting to see if it was true. Then you went away again last week and we thought it was worth a gamble."
"No no no no NO! This can't happen! I was so careful!" he murmured, sounding distraught.
"Yes but how careful can you be, Remus? If you have to go, you have to go. That's why you keep vanishing for a few days every month, isn't it? To… umm… transform."
Remus nodded blankly, his face showing nothing.
"No one was supposed to notice."
"Well we're your friends Remus, you think we wouldn't be even a little bit worried about you?" sighed James. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Why do you think? Do you know how many people have stuck with me after finding out what I am? Two. My parents. That's it." He looked up now, eyes large with pain. "Do you know what people do to werewolves? They cast them out. They don't want them around. I'm amazed Dumbledore even let me come here at all. We had to move out of town after I was bitten in case anyone found out about me. If they had we'd have had to move anyway. You see this?" He held up his hand, unbandaged now but with a jagged pink mark across it. "I did this. Because there was no one else to hurt, I hurt myself! We're vicious monsters, you know, who'll kill you as soon as look at you! People see us in nightmares and wake up screaming."
"All right, all right! Calm down, Remus; you're scaring me now," said James loudly as the boy ranted on, beginning to panic. "Are you trying to put us off you? It's okay. We've talked about it. It's alright with us if you're a werewolf. I mean, it's not perfect but it's okay."
Remus stared at him, completely taken aback.
"You mean… you don't mind?" Sirius gave him a long look and then started to laugh quietly. James joined him and even Peter chuckled nervously, although he still looked a little apprehensive after Remus' frightened outburst.
"You silly old thing, Remus," James said smiling. "You think that after all we've been through a little thing like that is going to put us off you?"
"Well it's hardly a little thing," said Peter.
"Shut up, Peter," growled Sirius. "You know what he means."
James continued. "And after the effort we've put into working you out, you think we're just going to abandon you? Not likely! We'll stick by you."
"Until the very second before moonrise," agreed Sirius. Remus didn't speak. He was completely lost for words. Finally he gave a little moan of relief and put his head back in his hands again.
"You okay, Remus?" Remus sniffed once, nodded and sat up straight again.
"Yeah. I'll be alright. I just can't believe it. I just never thought that you could accept this about me. No one ever has."
"Give us a little more credit than that please!" grinned Sirius. Remus nodded slowly.
"Okay, I'm sorry. But you three have to swear not to tell anyone about this. Not a soul."
"Of course not," said James instantly and Peter and Sirius nodded their agreement. "Not under torture or pain of death. We are Gryffindors after all." Remus sighed deeply and sagged back into the chair.
"I just can't believe it," he muttered again.
"Poor old Remus. You've been on your own for quite a long time, haven't you?"
Then Sirius clapped his hands loudly, making them all jump.
"Well, now that's all over with, let's hear all the details! So where do you go, Remus? When it's full moon." Remus smiled and began to talk, a little shakily at first, but slowly gathering momentum.
"You'll never believe this-"
"Oh, don't start that again," moaned James sarcastically. "What else could there possibly be that we wouldn't understand?"
"There's a tunnel under the Whomping Willow. You just touch a knot on the trunk and it stops moving long enough to get past the branches. If you didn't know about it, there'd be no way through. Every full moon I get smuggled out there by Madam Pomfrey. It leads down to that little shack between here and Hogsmeade and I stay in there while it…happens."
"It was you!" exclaimed Sirius. "Who's imagining things now, James?" James socked him playfully on the arm. "Alright, you win. You did see someone. That's why you were so interested when Peter mentioned it, right Remus?"
"Yes. Obviously Madam Pomfrey isn't a very good smuggler," he added wryly. "What we really need is an invisibility cloak like yours James. Then there'd be no chance of me being seen… No! Sirius NO!" The spark had come back into James' and Sirius' eyes almost simultaneously.
"Don't even think about it," Remus told them sternly. "If you came along when I transformed I could kill you so easily it's not even worth joking about."
"Oh don't be silly, Remus. We aren't quite that stupid," said Sirius, pretending to take offence, although his eyes still said that he thought it sounded like fun. "But, when you aren't a werewolf, and they take you down there, why shouldn't we come too? We could keep you company for a while."
"Honestly, I'd rather you didn't," Remus replied quietly. "Not yet anyway. It's just too… Well it's embarrassing on top of everything else. I trust you," he added quickly, "and now that you all know the truth I trust you even more. But it's still strange. It'll take some getting used to. Maybe later on. I just need some time"
"Okay," said Sirius.
"Okay?" Remus replied. Sirius shrugged.
"Okay!"
"Okay."
They emerged from the room about ten minutes later, smiling and laughing and making jokes about chasing cats and howling at the moon that Remus could see were going to last for quite some time. But, just then, he really didn't care.
