Gosh, I didn't realize how many people actually liked this! Well, it's been a long time, but here we are, courtesy of Sakina productions!

Chapter Three

"Life's like a var-iety bucket!"

"Ryou! Cut out that incessant wailing! I am trying to think!" Adverts are just getting more bizarre these days, and more and more people are being brainwashed by the box, when they should be out plotting how to overthrow the milkman, or the gang leader. Meh, it leaves less competition for me, for when I am finally bound by no shackles, the world shall feel my wrath!

It's OK mom, it must be terrible being married to a sla-ap he-ead!

I have spent five Millennia in relative peace and quiet, and now this!

I shut the door to my soul room, aptly redecorated in midnight black- Ryou wanted blues and rainbows, but I told him that he could go to the Shadow Realm for all I care. I mean, how is it going to look: I am one step away from Supreme Overlord, I have the whole world quivering at my feet, and then someone discovers that my humble abode is covered in…rainbows and fluffy bunnies? No, I cry, erasing the image from my mind, this scenario will not happen.

Go for the popularity contest. After all, the more people you have on your side, the easier it is to persuade complete strangers to accept your propositions. Plus, when you have two grinning bodyguards flanking your ranks, then how can they possibly refuse?

Once you have a considerable number of people that will lay their lives down for you, then that is what is called an army, in military terms. Make sure they are completely loyal- what better way than to use the Millennium Rod, which I will acquire some day- then storm government buildings, taking control in an instant. "A multitude of evilly disposed people stir up strife, just as a crowd of mosquitoes can make a noise like thunder." Sima Qian (145?–90? BC), Chinese historian. I particularly like that quote.

Personally, I'd prefer to take over the world using my own wit, than to hide behind an army of mind slaves-

"Bakura! No one wants to hear you go on about something you didn't even accomplish!"

Ryou pushes open the door, throwing in a shaft of light.

"Argh! The light, it burns!" I screech, throwing a blanket of darkness over me.

"Don't be so melodramatic," Ryou replies, and shakes a tub of popcorn at me. The sweet sickly scent of the kernels is almost too much for my poor senses to take! "Your favourite movie is about to start."

"Oooh," I moan groggily. "What is in that poison you humans eat?"

"Hmmm," Ryou checks the side of the tub. "Sugar, glucose, kernels…and fructose. There may be some lactose but I am not quite sure."

"Get it away from me!" I moan, pushing the tub away. "I need to get onto the next tip- motivation!"

"Take a break, Bakura," Ryou says and drags me out into the hideous light to watch Bambi- I mean, The Lion- no, no, no! Scream- that's it!


So, what do you think? If you have anymore ideas on insane and wacky ways to world domination, let me know!