HOLY SHIT IT'S BEEN A YEAR (or two...) - but yosh! I hate to start something and then not finish it, that's a bad baaaad thing to do. So this is the last part of the AoSou Kyoto arc. Thank you for everyone who's waiting, is there any, btw?
x x x x x x x
standard disclaimer applied.
warnings: Aoshi x Soujirou, shounen ai, romance, PG-13
spoilers: manga vol. 15-16
notes: special thank to my beta reader, Tiggy Malvern for beta-ing the complete
fics of this arc :)
There Will Be Love There
Part 2: Crying Rain
by Kaz Misaki
Himura Kenshin stared intently at the thick wooden door before him, knowing that his next opponent was waiting for him inside. Seta Soujirou, the strongest among the Juppon Gatana members, and the man who had killed Prime Minister Okubo. Soujirou had almost defeated him in their last battle, but now Kenshin knew that he must not lose. His friends' lives, Aoiya, and even the future of Japan depended on the outcome of this battle, and then, the battle with Shishio Makoto.
Sanosuke and Yumi stood beside him, waiting for him to move. He pushed at the door, and it opened easily before him. He could see him there, standing in the middle of the vast room. Clad in blue, he looked just like an average teenager with his young age. No one would ever think that he was a skillful swordsman and a deadly murderer. It was amazing that a boy with such an innocent face could kill so many people so easily. That ever-present smile on his face made Kenshin feel so uneasy.
"How are you doing, Himura Kenshin? It seems that you're in good health? Yokatta na..." The young man spoke with a sincere expression and tone, and Kenshin could almost think he was facing an old friend instead of an enemy. Almost.
"I'm glad we're able to chat a little and be friendly, and your concern for my health is most gratifying. Too bad I don't have time for all that right now." Kenshin took a step forward, hoping to start the battle as soon as possible. "Fight or not, that's all you have to answer."
The smile that crossed the boy's face was astonishing, "You have no time? Oh, are you talking about Aoiya?" Soujirou said that as if it was some small matter, but maybe for Shishio it was. "Don't worry, we just heard news that the attack on Aoiya has failed, and all my friends have been captured by the police..."
Kenshin was taken aback, and he knew Sanosuke and Yumi behind him were too. If the attack had failed, that meant that at least one of Shishio's plans was aborted; and if he could stop everything here...
"Houji is also very surprised. But it's a fact," Soujirou continued, the smile never leaving his face. "And now we are the ones who don't have much time; that's why I have to finish the entire task given to the Juppon Gatana... I can't waste my time just fighting with you, Himura-san."
The boy reached for his katana, and Kenshin knew that everything started now. He was in a ready position; he wasn't going to hold back. And with the same speed, at the same time, they both attacked their opponents with a swing of their swords. The sound of the swords as they met in the air was piercing. He couldn't know for sure, but he thought he might have made the slightest crack in Soujirou's sword.
"You're stronger now, Himura-san. You were tough from the beginning... and now you're even harder. Amazing!" Soujirou tapped his left foot against the tatami. "I don't understand how someone like you could be so strong... I really don't understand..." He didn't stop the tapping of his feet; Kenshin realized that it got faster and faster. Something was going to happen, he realized, but what?
"Well, no matter how strong you are, you still can't beat Shishio-san. And if I'm serious about it... I can beat you too!" Kenshin only had a second to see the spark in those eyes as Soujirou tapped hard on the tatami floor and with marvelous speed, came charging towards him.
He almost didn't see him. No, he almost couldn't see him during the attack. This young man was faster than anyone else he had ever fought. So that was how he could murder the prime minister inside a carriage.
"Eh? I failed?" Soujirou turned to look at him and smiled innocently. "Well, be ready for the next attack then..."
"Shukuchi..." Kenshin breathed, almost not believing. "The technique that was even faster than the speed of god... Shukuchi..."
The teenage boy smiled happily, playing with his sword on his shoulder. "So you know! You know everything! Even I didn't know the name of it until Shishio-san told me."
Kenshin didn't answer. He knew now that this boy was utterly dangerous, and he was serious. He was a fine swordsman and had a deadly technique that was his natural gift. And one thing Kenshin didn't like was the smile. He was hiding his emotion behind that smile. No, it was as if this boy had no emotion at all. That was why killing was so natural for him; the way he swung his sword, no hesitation in it.
Shishio had found a perfect weapon.
"Let me tell you something, Himura-san..." Soujirou began. "That technique just now, it wasn't actually shukuchi. It was just three steps before shukuchi. That's why you could avoid it."
Kenshin's words caught in his throat, registering the things Soujirou was telling him. Not Shukuchi... and he had almost lost his life because of it. He tightened his grip on his katana, while Soujirou started to tap his feet on the tatami once more. "I was gauging the speed I used when we were fighting in Shingetsu and adding just a little more. I thought it should stop you..."
An apologetic smile and then, "I'm sorry for underestimating you. Now I'll do two steps before shukuchi. Let's begin."
The hard tap of Soujirou's feet signaled the beginning of the new attack. Kenshin knew that this time he had to be concentrate more on the boy's attack. Soujirou's fast steps were causing damage to the tatami. He could feel him. He could see the swing of his sword, and avoided it at the last minute.
The sword cracked the floor just inches in front of him; Kenshin saw that smile on the boy's face. Sanosuke was screaming from behind, telling him to start his attack. But how could he attack someone he could barely see? Before he knew it, Soujirou had disappeared again. Kenshin jumped into the air, realizing that it was probably his best chance to start attacking back. A fast wind blew from behind him; as he turned, he saw Soujirou there, katana ready to swing.
He just had time to swing his sakabatou to meet Soujirou's katana. The two swordsmen landed on their feet. Kenshin was still trying to regain his composure, while Soujirou had already started his shukuchi again.
He was fast. Kenshin said that over and over to himself. Not just his feet, but his body's reactions were amazingly quick. Not to mention he had no emotion in his attacks; that was what made it so difficult for Kenshin to figure out his next move. But he was certain if he could use that speed to attack back... with his ougi and sakabatou... Amakakeru Ryuuno Hirameki... the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu attacking style would be the fastest and strongest to defeat any enemy.
Kuzuryusen.
He blocked the path Soujirou took to attack him and attacked faster. His sakabatou swung easily, but somehow he couldn't be certain if he'd actually succeeded with the attack just now.
"IT WORKED!" He heard Sanosuke scream joyfully somewhere behind him.
Kenshin heard something in the background. The change of air telling him that someone was approaching.
"Not yet." Soujirou's cheerful voice came from behind him. "I'll get you first."
The katana swung and Kenshin could only move a single inch to avoid a more severe wound; but he knew from the stinging ache in his back that Soujirou had really got him this time. This boy was able to avoid Kuzuryusen. Something in his head said the words. The scariest realization struck him like a lightning bolt. Soujirou was faster than he was.
But Soujirou only stared at him now with a puzzled expression. "Eh? You can still move? I thought I'd stopped you just now..."
x x x x x
Soujirou pouted slightly, noticing that Himura Battousai was still standing before him. He was breathing badly, sweat was all over his now dirty face. The effects from the wound on his back must have started to creep all through his body. But that didn't change the fact that he was still standing there.
"That's strange," he said lightly. "I wasn't certain I could bring you down with the first strike... but as for the second, I was quite sure... Strange..."
Yumi shouted something to him from the side of the room, but he barely taking any notice of her. He looked down and saw that he had broken yet another zouri. It happened all the time as he dragged his sandals across the floor when he was doing shukuchi.
"Excuse me, Himura-san, I haven't done this for so long. I've broken my zouri. Can you wait while I change it?" He smiled politely, trying not to offend Himura in anyway. "Please get some rest while I change."
Soujirou walked into the next room, rifling through the cabinet to find a new pair of zouri. He found them stuck in the corner. He smiled; he knew he'd put them in here somewhere. Yumi was already behind him, her hands on her waist, looking upset. "Why didn't you just kill him back there? You knew you could do it!" she exclaimed angrily.
Soujirou put on his best smile, trying not to make Yumi even more upset with him. "Why are you so mad at me, Yumi-san?"
"You're being arrogant! Just because you're strong, you gave him the chance to attack!" she snapped, looking like a mother hen more than ever. Soujirou frowned deeply. "You think he can just be beaten down easily? Don't forget that he has the ougi from Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu!"
"But I'm not underestimating him, Yumi-san..." Soujirou put full concentration into his chore of tying his zouri. "He was stronger than I expected. No wonder he became a legendary murderer, ne?"
Yumi was silent and Soujirou continued, "He used his sword to protect the weak. We cannot beat him." A lazy smile curved on his mouth. The weak... If he'd only protected the weak like he was supposed to...
For a second he was brought back to those nights. He remembered the man standing there against the background of the night sky and the bright, full moon. He remembered the fear coiling in his stomach as the sword glistened with the light of the moon on its sharp edges, ready to cut him in two. He could've died right there, but he knew that dying wouldn't be so bad as living with a family who didn't love him and treated him like a dog. He couldn't count how many times he had wished to die. He would rather kill himself and go to hell. He knew what hell felt like, his brothers had taught him that with every punch and kick they gave him everyday. At least in hell, maybe, there wouldn't be anyone calling his mother a whore anymore.
But he never knew that dying felt that scary. And he did the only thing he knew how to do. He smiled.
That night, Shishio Makoto spared his life.
And then he was given a sword. A sword he had used to kill all the rest of his family. No, he never even considered them family members. His hands were soaked with blood, and his face with tears. He was finally free from all the fear he faced everyday. He'd never known it would be that easy to end his suffering. But he couldn't deny the tears that were running down his cheeks. He was grateful the rain hid his tears behind another faint smile - that crooked smile of his. The blood on his hands and the ground were washed away by the pouring water, but he knew that his hands might never be clean from this sin. But this was life, a crazy voice somewhere inside his mind had whispered, they died because they were weaker than he was. 'The strong will live while the weak will die.' He played the words in his head over and over, and somehow everything fitted into place. He was still alive because he was strong. He wasn't to be blame for their deaths, it was their own mistake for being weak.
He wasn't a weak person anymore, but he used to be one. And no one had been there to save him. Only Shishio Makoto.
"I feel so restless every time I see Himura-san," he said dimly as the memory hazed in his head. He walked back to the room where Himura awaited him, ready with his sakabatou next to him. His eyes told Soujirou that he was more than ready. And that feeling of restlessness came back uninvited.
He used his sword to protect the weak.
He didn't know where it came from, but he knew something had begun to creep up into his body and his mind. His hands trembled wildly, stiffer than they were supposed to be. He shouldn't have dwelled on those stupid old memories.
He used his sword to protect the weak.
Soujirou ran faster than before, tapping his feet deep into the tatami before attacking. His vision blurred, and then everything seemed to disappear. Just him and Himura, who looked as if he was moving in slow motion. No, it was himself who moved so fast, that's why Himura looked slow. He couldn't decide where he should start the attack. Up? Down? Right? Left? The blood was rushing to his head, fueling his emotions with a rage he had forgotten how to feel.
He used his sword to protect the weak.
"In this world, the strong eat the weak."
Right.
"The strong will live. The weak will die."
Left.
Himura Battousai had just a second to stop his sword in the air. Their swords collided, but Soujirou was already beginning another step of shukuchi. He couldn't help it anymore, something boiling inside him, pushing him to the edge of insanity. Feelings. He wasn't supposed to have feelings any more, right? His feelings had died together with that eight year old boy who had slaughtered his own family ten years ago, under the pouring rain and a full moon.
"You said you wouldn't kill. You said you protect the weak. It was all lies!" He couldn't control the words coming from his mouth anymore, his consciousness was melting away. "And you know why?"
He used his sword to protect the weak.
Another lightning speed swing and their swords met again. Soujirou stared at his opponent deeply. He couldn't control the hatred that was coming to surface. "Because when I needed it the most, you didn't come and help me!"
He stepped backwards, breathing heavily before he disappeared into the air. He could only see a glint of confusion in Himura's eyes. But he was just faking it; Soujirou knew that he was playing a game. Acting as if he was the nice guy, trying to protect everyone, but he'd never come to help that poor boy when he needed to be saved from a living hell. He hadn't been there when his brother had pointed the sword at his face, eyes menacingly thirsty for blood. That time, he'd known he was going to die, and he'd known that dying was scary. So he'd killed his brother instead. And once Soujirou knew he could kill him, he knew he could kill the others.
"You didn't save me when I needed you the most! The only one who helped me was Shishio-san and the sword he gave me!" He jumped into the air, raising his sword high. Himura Battousai still stood there, waiting for him. Soujirou put all his strength into this attack, slamming his sword into the tatami. And he found Battousai's sword in front of his face.
It didn't make him twitch. "What are you doing? Do you think you can win without killing me?" His voice came out steady and cool.
Himura loosened his sword instead, eyeing him sharply, but still filled with concern. Why was he staring at him like that!
"I don't understand what you're saying. But if it's not too late, I want to start fixing everything from now on. Can I, Soujirou?" He said that softly; his eyes were sincere and filled with guilt.
It was something Soujirou had dearly wanted to hear. But he still couldn't forget that boy who had cried in the middle of the rain with a sword in his hand. He knew that even though he had killed his family in cold blood, he'd never had that intention. The boy was crying that night when he committed those murders. He was so weak and scared. But no one had cared for him. Was it so wrong to be weak? He'd just wanted to be happy like everyone else. He hadn't asked much from anyone. He hadn't needed kind words or sympathy; he'd just needed to know that someone cared for him. But no one ever did. And now Himura was kindly offering him that. He was so confused. He didn't know what right and wrong were anymore.
And he remembered those hands that had held him tightly one night when he was cold. He remembered burying his face in Shinomori's chest and feeling a faint, tentative rub on his back. He knew he was sincere and he was honest with himself that night. One of those nights when he didn't feel hate towards the full moon.
This was not the time to think about that!
And then he screamed wildly, holding his head with both his hands. The pain inside his head increased a notch, twisting him around with doubt and overwhelming emotions. His eyes burned as if he was going to burst out and cry. He ached for something inside, but didn't know what it was. He gripped his sword tighter, hoping that it wouldn't break. Sweat dripped on his forehead, touching the corners of his eyes. "I don't care which is right and wrong anymore! I will kill you with one strike!" he said with ragged breath, stepping backwards and taking up his stance. "Shutensatsu. You'll die in seconds, so it won't be painful."
Himura just stared at him, concern still dangling in his eyes. Soujirou didn't want to look into those eyes any more. "Are you sure you can do it, Soujirou? Your feelings are unstable right now."
"How arrogant..." Soujirou snorted softly, watching as Himura took his position. He recognized those steps. The stance for the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu Ougi. "So, you're serious now..."
"I'm always serious in every fight," Himura said coolly. "If not, my opponents won't think seriously about what I say."
But if it's not too late, I want to start fixing everything from now on...
The words echoed in his head and he closed his eyes. "So then I'll be serious too..."
The next second he was in the air, raising his sword high, noticing Himura running to chase him. Soujirou knew that he was moving faster than before, but why did it feel so heavy to just move like this? Himura said that he was unstable; was he slowly going insane with all the emotions welling up inside him?
He saw Himura draw his sword; he gripped his sword tighter, getting ready for a strike. He knew his steps were fast, but he wasn't sure whether he could keep up the pace. His chest hurt so much he thought he would explode with the tension. His swing wasn't steady and his eyes were painful. His sword pointed down, ready to strike, but it was too late even for Shutensatsu.
His eyes widened as he saw the flashing of Himura's sword in the air. Impossible! Himura was faster than he was... He felt an awful pain in his chest before he fell down back first against the tatami. He could still feel his sword in his hand; but he also knew that the sharp edge was already embedded somewhere out of his reach. The world went dark, but before that he could see the moon stained with blood that night, Shishio-san's sword glistening with the moonlight. But he also saw a small smile tugging at Shinomori's lips as his hands caressed Soujirou's bangs and kissed him lovingly on the lips. And he thought it was just a dream...
He opened his eyes and saw Yumi there. He didn't know how, but he'd ended up resting his head on Yumi's lap, looking up to the only mother figure he knew. And he was reminded that at least he could call the Juppon Gatana his family. "The result is so different from the one we had in Shingetsu Village, ne?" he smiled faintly. "That a person who refuses to kill others like him could have such great power like this... It seems unfair..."
Yumi frowned, stroking his hair gently. "Boy, what's the matter with you?" she asked warily.
"I was wrong all this time." Soujirou struggled to sit up, one hand resting on the tatami. "Himura-san was right all the time, ne, Himura-san?" he asked the man standing not so far away, tired and wounded after the fight.
"No, Soujirou," he answered firmly. "If I was right just because I won the fight, then what you hear from Shishio is true. If just by fighting once or twice, people could have the answers about their lives, no one would take the wrong way of life."
Soujirou froze, astounded and confused at the same time. Himura sighed before continuing, "I think the right answer will depend on your decision to compensate for your mistakes. Not from fighting, but from the life you're going to live..."
A warm feeling crept up through his heart and Soujirou knew he couldn't hide it. Could someone like him be forgiven and live a new life ahead? Finding the answers to his questions? "You're harder than Shishio-san..." he said lightly and dropped his head back into Yumi's lap.
"Really?" A friendly question.
"Yeah." Soujirou put his hand above his eyes, trying to hide the tears that were coming. "You won't give me a simple answer for a problem, and that proves you're harder than Shishio-san..."
Himura Kenshin smiled and gave him more kind words before he excused himself. Soujirou knew that he wouldn't get any more answers from the man, but he knew that his life had just begun, no matter what happened in the last battle between Himura Battousai and Shishio Makoto. His mouth curved a sad, longing smile. He couldn't push back the tears that were struggling to come out one more second.
"Boy, are you okay? I have to go now..." Yumi's voice came out soft and caring; Soujirou knew that she was worried about him, but she was more concerned for Shishio. And it warmed his heart somehow. He could see how much she had loved Shishio all this time. It made him jealous, to be loved by someone like that...
"Nee-san, can you massage my thighs again?" He whined childishly. But the truth was his feet were so sore he wasn't sure he could even stand. Shukuchi had really worn him out this time; or maybe it was because he was just too tired of running away from everything.
"You're a strange boy," Yumi said with only slight irritation.
Soujirou chuckled lightly. "I'm just kidding... you don't have to worry. The door over there leads straight to the path that'll take you to Shishio-san's chamber." He pointed to a wooden door just across the room, "It's faster than the route taken by Himura. If you meet Shishio-san, please inform him that..." Soujirou closed his eyes for a brief second, "I've seen the real form of Amakakeru Ryuu no Hirameki."
He talked and Yumi listened. Soujirou knew that it was probably slightly unfair on Himura Kenshin this way, to have to fight Shishio with his already tired body, and his secret revealed. But Soujirou also knew that Shishio had some disadvantages, and what he had said was something towards paying his debts to Shishio. He had done something right, revealing the secret of Himura Kenshin's technique.
"And please give him this." Soujirou took a sword from the drawer. He eyed it for a long time, memories flashing by. This sword had saved his life. "I've kept it for the last ten years. It's time to give it back to Shishio-san."
Yumi's face paled. "Boy, you mean you're going to..."
"I didn't say that Shishio-san was wrong. But what Himura Kenshin said was right. I have to find the answer in the life I'm going to lead, starting from now." He sighed lightly, a glint of smile dangling on the curve of his mouth. "That's why we have to part here."
The smile on Yumi's face was a relief. He thought he could see his mother's smile in Yumi's eyes. "I see. Maybe that's the best for you, Boy..."
Soujirou turned his face away, trying to hide the tears that had started to flow down his cheeks. "Please help Shishio-san gets through all this."
"Even if you don't ask, I'll always do that, ne?"
"That's not what I meant."
Yumi's voice was far off and filled with love as she said the words for Shishio Makoto and Soujirou knew that they were going to be okay. She would give everything for her lover, and Soujirou admired her for that.
"I know, Soujirou."
The door opened and closed behind him and Soujirou tried to wipe away the tears that refused to stop falling. Something inside him ached as if he'd been stabbed by a thousand swords. It was even more painful than the visible wound caused by Himura's ougi on his chest. He fell to the floor, hugged his knees tightly and buried his face there, sobbing silently.
x x x x x
Aoshi walked down the long corridor, his eyes drifting away from the map Saitou had given him and to the lines of doors on his right and left. He wondered how far Himura had gone ahead, and then Saitou. His chest ached because of Himura's final attack, but he knew that he could still fight. Maybe not enough to help Himura defeat Shishio, but he had to do something to help. He wanted to know how long he could survive this fight. It could be the only chance for him to pay for his mistakes; for himself and his comrades.
He stopped in front of one thick wooden door, eyeing it carefully. Himura was supposed to hold his next fight here, facing Soujirou. It was probably over already, but he wondered who had won. Himura had a powerful ougi, but he'd been so tired after all the fighting he'd been through. And Soujirou was the strongest of the Juppon Gatana. He closed his eyes briefly, thinking of the worst thing that might have happened in the fight, and realized that he was more worried for Soujirou than Himura.
He pushed the door open, trying to relax himself as he stepped inside. He saw the room was in total chaos; marks of a fierce battle had scarred the tatami floors and even the ceilings. The point of a sword was embedded in the floor. Aoshi stepped closer and heard a quiet sob from the corner of the room. He turned to see the blue clad boy hugging his knees and burying his face so Aoshi couldn't see his eyes. Aoshi couldn't believe the wash of relief that flowed through his heart as he saw the boy was safe. From what he had seen, Soujirou had probably lost the fight, but Himura never killed his opponents, and he was so grateful for that.
"Soujirou." He hoped his voice sounded calm and composed in front of the boy. It was scary to realize that he cared so much for Soujirou, hurting him to know that this was probably the last time he would see him. He could be a dead man tomorrow, but it wasn't something he should regret. Except for the fact that he wouldn't see the smile on Soujirou's face again. "Soujirou. Are you okay?"
The boy lifted his face and Aoshi could see the tears welled in those dark, round eyes. Aoshi was not good at dealing with feelings or comforting someone. He didn't know the reason for the tears, and he really didn't know how to make it better. But Soujirou's eyes just widened with surprise, and then with remorse. "Shinomori-san..." he whispered thickly, "...you're here."
Aoshi knelt in front of him, touching one shoulder. The next second he found Soujirou in his arms. It was his instinct to hold him in return, burying his face in Soujirou's dark hair. But it didn't last long because Soujirou pulled away almost abruptly, looking embarrassed and flustered.
"I'm sorry," he said suddenly; at first Aoshi couldn't understand why Soujirou would apologize, but then he saw Soujirou was staring at his chest, where the wound caused by Himura's ougi crossed his body. He knew that if Himura had been using a normal sword instead of his sakabatou, he would have died right then. "I'm sorry, Shinomori-san..."
Soujirou wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. He looked so pale, Aoshi thought vaguely, but he didn't have the courage to ask the reason. He wasn't even sure whether he was allowed to ask.
"It doesn't hurt so much anymore." His answer was a lie; as he sought Soujirou's expression for his answer, he knew that the boy knew. "Did he use it on you too?"
Soujirou touched his chest and nodded. "But it wasn't as powerful... I guess he had lost some of his energy after his fight with you."
"I think," Aoshi whispered, "he did it on purpose. He used the stronger one on me to knock my head and bring me back to reality..." A small smile tugged his lips, and he saw Soujirou staring at him in confusion. He shook his head, touching Soujirou's cheek gently. "It's nothing... It's okay."
"Himura-san said that I can find the answer I've been looking for. Not by fighting, but by redeeming my mistakes, by helping people... I don't know if I can... but, I'll try."
The boy put his smaller hand on top of Aoshi's, smiling lightly. Aoshi had missed those smiles; he knew this one was sincere and loving. And he knew that Soujirou understood him; because Himura must've done the same thing to him, bringing him back to the reality he had to face. Aoshi thought the one thing he would never have dared to think before in his life. He wanted to tell this boy everything; tell him about his past and the friends he'd cared for so much. To tell him how much he had done, so many mistakes just to avenge their deaths in a very wrong way. Because he knew Soujirou would understand. Because somehow he knew they resembled each other. And he wanted Soujirou to open up to him too; to tell him everything that happened to him all this time, and why he cried... If they only had the time.
"I have to go..." Aoshi whispered thickly, taking his hands away from Soujirou. The disappointment that crossed Soujirou's face broke his heart. He could still see tears in the corner of one of Soujirou's eyes. He leaned and kissed the tears away, trying the best he could to tell this boy that he really cared for him; that he was special to him, but there was something more important he had to do now.
The color in Soujirou's face was back and Aoshi smiled lovingly at his young companion. He'd never really been good with words, and there wasn't enough time to change that now. Soujirou's fingers curled in his jacket, but not hard enough to stop him from leaving. He buried his face in Aoshi's sleeve, hiding his eyes from the older man.
"Are you going there? Where Himura-san and Shishio-san will fight?" he asked softly. Aoshi could feel his warmth through the thick fabric.
Aoshi could hear wariness in that tone, but he wasn't sure whether it was over him or Shishio. This boy, after all, was Shishio's right hand man himself. "Yes."
"You will survive, right?"
"I don't know," he answered matter-of-factly; Soujirou's breath mingled with the fabric of his sleeve. The boy let go his grip on Aoshi's jacket and pulled away slightly, looking up at him in concern.
"I don't know what to say," Soujirou started, biting his bottom lip as he paused. "If I'm wishing you to be well, that means I'm hoping Shishio-san will lose. But I don't want you to die, either... I..."
Aoshi patted the boy's hair softly, doing the best he could to calm the boy. He didn't know whether he was going to survive or not. But he knew he couldn't let Shishio win and take over this country either. There would be too much suffering, and there had been enough. "I'll try my best to live."
"Aoshi! I mean... Shinomori-sa-" Aoshi stopped the boy's words with a kiss; he felt the boy gasp in surprise under him, giving him the chance to seize his mouth, slipping his tongue between those inviting lips. He supported Soujirou's body with his arms and felt the boy relax, leaning into his touch. Aoshi felt Soujirou cup his cheek; his tongue sucked Aoshi's languorously, teasingly, inviting him to stay longer. "Don't go..." the boy whispered thickly as they finally pulled away.
He kissed him again for the last time, a small kiss on the cheek and tasted the boy's salty skin under his lips. "If I survive this fight... I'll look for you," he whispered.
A small hand caught Aoshi by the wrist, pressing lightly. Soujirou's bangs covered the eyes he dearly wanted to see, and then he spoke. A soft, muffled, "I'll wait."
"Aa."
Soujirou looked up and Aoshi could see that smile on those lips again. The bright eyes that he remembered looked back at him, filled with love and trust. He had fallen too deep into those eyes and smiles. Aoshi smiled back. "Goodbye, Soujirou."
"Don't say goodbye."
Aoshi turned and started to walk away, knowing that the fight awaited him up front. He didn't look back, because he knew he would hesitate if he did. If he turned around he might not want to fight anymore. Because he knew if he looked back and saw Soujirou... He knew there would be love there.
end
I finally finish this! I can't believe this! After two frustrating years, for God's sake! Big hugs and special thanks to all the people who's reading this and spare some time reviewing. Thank you, minna-san!
