8: From the beginning
As soon as James entered the office, Sirius was on his feet. He and Peter were in chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk. There were two more waiting for James and Snape when they arrived.
"Is he alright? Are they both alright?" he yelled, nearly knocking his seat over. James glared at him. He couldn't remember ever having to glare at Sirius before. He didn't like it.
"Sit down please, Mister Black," said Dumbledore calmly. "All will be revealed in due course." Sirius sunk back into his chair anxiously. He clearly thought that to stew in his own worry for a few more minutes was a very adequate punishment for what he had done.
"Now then," Dumbledore said, arranging himself in his seat. "I'd like to know everything. Let's start at the beginning, hmmn?" Sirius squirmed again. An adequate punishment it would be, but easy to bear it would not. From the beginning could take a while.
Remus turned up in the Infirmary a few days later and, after a long talk with Dumbledore, James and Peter went in to see him. Sirius did not. They questioned him about it in the dormitory that night.
"Why didn't you visit Moony today, Sirius? He was asking after you."
"Was he?" said Sirius, surprised. "Why?"
"I think he was worried about you, although I wouldn't be if I were him," James replied acidly. He was taking his time forgiving Sirius, partly on purpose. Even in the heat of the moment, it was so unlike Sirius to break his word that he almost felt that he must have done it deliberately, although his actions now showed his deep regret.
"Dumbledore told him the whole story," Peter added. "But he wanted us to explain it to him too, so he got the full picture."
"He's missing your side of it," James explained. "Even Snape had to do it. And he's been sworn to the strictest secrecy too. I don't know how Dumbledore managed it. Let's hope he keeps his word and watches his tongue."
"It was a mistake! An accident! I wasn't thinking and I've said I'm sorry hundreds of times," Sirius cried in despair. "What more do you want me to do?"
"Say it to Remus," James answered shortly. Sirius paled visibly.
"Not yet," he murmured. "I can't face him yet."
Remus reappeared at breakfast time the next morning, looking as pale and as ill as he always did, and was unusually quiet. He seemed to be waiting for something, but the more he waited, the more guilty Sirius felt until finally he left the Great Hall without eating any breakfast. Remus sighed and stirred his cereal listlessly. They knew him well enough by now to change the subject.
"Ready to face down the Boggarts?" James asked him, trying to sound cheerful.
"You know, I'm really not," Remus said quietly. "I'm more scared now than ever I was before. It was so close, that night. I swear I actually remember chasing you."
"Maybe they'll let you off?"
"No. I'm still going to do it. I have to do it, or I'll never get over it. I just wish Sirius would say something. Anything! My chance at sorting things out with Severus has gone down the drain too." He rubbed his temples irritably. "Arrgh! I'm such a wreck this morning!" Peter and James looked at each other over the top of his head. What could they possibly say to make this any better? If Sirius wouldn't talk to Remus then there was no way that this could get sorted out. James put his head down near Remus' ear.
"If you like, we could always ambush him in a corridor, dump him in a chair and hold him there until he says he's sorry. After all, it worked so well on you." That drew a brief smile from them all for a few moments.
"Thanks, but I don't know if that'll work. He's a lot more stubborn than I am. I guess I'll just have to wait." He picked up his spoon again and began to eat his cereal. James sighed. With hardly anyone talking, it was going to be a long day.
