Ok! here it is! I tried my hardest to not take forever, but the dumb phone kept ringing and I couldn't get on the internet. My mom has decided to play marrige counselor for a while. She gets like hour and a half long phone calls from most of her friends that need marrige help. Why anyone would want to be on the phone for that long, I have no clue. But, here it is...Chapter Six!! Most of this chapter will be in Jesse's POV tho. Hope it can clear up just a little.
Suze
Well. Much to my surprise,
It was a poem. To me. Or it was to me, the me before Jesse left. Because it reminded me of right before Jesse left, and all of this stuff happened. There were quite a few of them, but, none of them were to me now. How I had become.
Over the seven or so months that Jesse had been gone, and Hector had come to the Mission, I had put on a mask that hid my emotions. I'd cry only at night, when I felt that I would burst from being so sad and alone. In the morning, the feeling would be gone, only to see him again later in the day, and all the rest of the day, and feel so alone. Becase he was the only one that I'd ever loved. He'd acted just like one of my distant friends. Not as close as CeeCee and Adam, but still, he was nice, and occasionally we'd have a conversation. He wasn't uncomfortable, just a different Jesse. He wasn't much different. This was why I suspected that Father Dominic and Paul weren't telling me something. I wish that they would just tell me.
There were probably at least twenty poems in there. That I noticed, anyway. Those were about me. There were about ten more with Paul, Maria (the ghost Maria that I met), and Father Dominic. Why a guy would want to write a poem about Father Dominic was beyond me. Thirty or so poems that I gathered up, and a handful more that Jesse gathered up.
I was too stunned to speak. Jesse, whose face was getting redder and redder by the second, just stood there too. I think he recovered first though. He was the first one to speak, so that's what I'm thinking.
"Susannah. I'm sorry. I know you must think of me...uh..." he paused and thought for a minute, while I, standing there like an idiot, turned redder by the second. " You must think I'm crazy, but I don't think that I knew you. I would get these thoughts in my head, and the next thing I knew, I'd be writing them down. I decided to just have a binder of them. As you see, I wrote a lot of them. Not all are about you, though."
"Yeah, I noticed" Briliance. Sheer briliance. I love myself!
"Yes. Apparantly I did know you, Paul, Father Dominic, some guys named David, Brad, and Jake, among other people at this school. The thing that confuses me so, is, how much different you are in my poems then you are now. Whatever had happened to you must have been big." Oh boy! You have no clue buddy!
"Uh, I guess you could say that." FATHER DOMINIC! That's it! I'll go talk to him and he must know something! I know he must! "Maybe Father Dominic knows something that I don't. And Paul..." Now it was getting out of it. I was talking out loud. To myself. Joy!
"Sure. Maybe he will. I can't miss my class after lunch though. We have a test that I can't afford to miss. It can't be made up. And after school, I have plans. Is it ok if we do this later? I don't know when I'll be free." Looks like I"m not the only one that babbles uncontrollably, am I?
"Ok. That's fine with me. Good luck on your test later." He started to walk away, and my mouth found it's own mind to speak. "Wait! Jesse! Oops. I mean, Hector, I liked your poems. They're the happiest thing that has happened in a very long time."I don't know if he heard me or not, but I think he did, because the tips of his ears turned red at me. If that was any sign, he must know something too. I don't have any clue what, but I had that feeling that I was going to find out.
Jesse
What I had not wanted her to know, she knows. Right after I met her, I started to remember things. Things that were unfamilliar to me. I did not know what her room looked like, or the view from her windowseat. I had never had a cat named Spike, no one named Gina called it ugly. I never did anything to Paul to anger him, and yet he is still like that. Cold and rude to everyone. He never changed. But the Susannah I have come to know well, and the Susannah that once knew "me" are very different. One was happy and in love, and the other is depressed and still in love.
When John brushed my binder, and it fell, I knew, all at once, that I could no longer keep this from her. She'd know all about something that would only hurt her. At least that's what Father Dominc said.
I had come to ask him about taking another class, and Paul was in his office too. Paul, I know, rarely comes in Father Dominic's office. They are complete opposites. I walked in on Paul, in the middle of his sentence.
"Father, I have....."
"....Suze can't know
about this. I know. He's gaining memory....deSilva? Well speak of the
devil! we were just talking about you."
"Jesse? What
are you doing here?"
"Uh, I don't remember. What were you saying Paul? What are you saying?" So they told me the whole thing. From begining to end. All about my ghost life and before I was murdered.
"Well, Jesse. You were murdered in the year 1850 by a man named Felix Diego. You were on your way to break off an engagement to his secret girlfriend, and your cousin, Maria deSilva. She wanted to make you look like you were walking out on your wedding, so she had Diego kill you. He strangled you in your sleep and burried your body in the back of Susannah's backyard. Right where her jacuzzi is I believe. You, on the other hand, stuck around the boardinghouse, or Susannah's house now, where you were murdered for a hundred and fifty years.
"And then Susannah and her mother moved to Carmel and they bought the house. She got the room that you haunted. Even though I warned her not to, she fell in love with you. You loved her too, and as I told Paul it was okay to bring you back to life, you and Susannah were..uh...sharing your feelings with each other. When you disappeared, she was heartbroken. And she remained that way for many months. I believe that she is still like that. She fell into a depression and couldn't do much. Her mother didn't know what was wrong with her, and sent her to several psychologists. They determined nothing.
"At that time, Paul called me and told me that something had gone wrong with bringing you back to life. He said that you were frantic, because your dogs had not been fed, and you were going to be in trouble for it. He spoke to you, informing you of your position, I assumed. But that's not how it was. You knew nothing of what happened, and he took advantage of you.
"That was wrong Paul, and you knew it. Now, if you have something to say, either of you, speak up now."
"When I brought you back to life Jesse, I ment for Suze to be happy. She deserved to have you. She'd never love me like she loved you. I didn't mean to break her heart, but then when you didn't remember her, I panicked and told Father Dom that we should just tell her that your ghost moved on. We did, and it was like you did in a way. That was when I locked you up with that computer and a credit card, and told you to order anything you wanted and that I'd go and get books and such for you. I didn't want Suze to be hurt, but, it was either that, or she'd hate me forever. She just kind of moved through life in a daze, and cried all the time. It really hurt her, but I thought that it'd just make her stronger." I started to growl at him as he was telling me. He hurt sweet Susannah, and knew it. She suffered and I couldn't help.
"Woah, Jesse. Let him finish. Don't go acting like that or I won't tell you the rest." I had to calm down, because I had to tell Susannah. I had to. She'd be so happy. But unfortunately, Paul's next words hit me.
"I thought that even though you were alive and well, and starting to remember things, you might die again. The article that I found the incantation in said that usually, people that didn't regain memory often suffered of fatal heart attacks. Especially if the person had died more than a century ago. That applied to you, and then I told Father D about it.
"When you started to regain your memory again, I checked the article and it didn't say if you were more likely to stay or have a heart attack. We agreed that we'd watch you for like four weeks and see how you stayed alive. You're on week two right now, and we're still deciding if we should tell Suze. I think that we should, she'd be so happy, and now they have much more medical science to save you if you tried to kick the bucket."
"Until these weeks are over Jesse, you can't tell Susannah. She'd be too happy, and then if you were suddenly to drop dead, she'd be devistated. Again. We can't do that to her."
"Ok Father. And something you should know, I've been remembering much more. I do know more about my life in 1850. And I remember almost everything up until the night I died clearly. I only catch glimpses of my time as a ghost. But what I have caught, I've written down. You're welcome to read some of them." I think it best not to let him read the ones of Susannah. I'd be too embarrased. Like this one. I belive it was the first one that Susannah happened to see and read the most of.
Glimpses of Green Eyes
Febuary 4
Querida, how much I feel for you.
You mean everything to me
Watcihng you, never able to love you as you deserve.
Your green eyes seek my attention,
My own plain ones,
Try to meet them.
Too bright to comprehend,
You see me,
Know me.
I want to know you the same.
If only you felt the same as I do.
If only
Your green eyes haunt me all day long,
All night long
That was what Susannah saw. I've seen her eyes in my "glimpses" or whatever you want to call them, and they used to shine with happiness. Now, they're just dull green, masked with pain and sadness. So different. I wish there was a way to make them look the same again. But I have two more weeks to waste away. If I don't drop dead, I might be able to make her happy again.
When I finally got all my poems and "glimpses" cleaned up. Susannah saw most of them, and now she knows something is up. She's going to go to Father Dominic and he's going to tell her something. Not what she wants to hear. I tried to hurry and avoid any comments that she'd have on the poems, but I didn't get far, because the last thing I heard her say to me was, "Wait! Jesse! Oops. I mean, Hector, I liked your poems. They're the happiest thing that has happened in a very long time." My face got hot, and I walked faster. She knows! I'm still Jesse to her. There may be a hope that I can see her eyes shine with happiness again! Only two more weeks, two more. Too long for me to wait.
Okay there! hope you liked this chapter too. Sorry about the poetry. I know it sucks. If I was going to have mentioned poetry, I had to write some. It would't do to not have any in there. Ideas are welcome, thanks for reviewing you guys! You so rock!!! Keep with me. I'll try to make it ALL clear soon. See ya soon,
Kath
