Sorry about the confusion. Yeah, the last chapter was mostly a flashback. I don't think I have the heart to kill off any of the characters. Especially not Jesse. I don't think I could do that. Not to mention everyone would want to KILL me or something. And I'm thinking that this chapter may be one of hte last ones. Maybe I'll go a couple more. Review and tell me. I'll post a couple more chapters or an epolouge.
And the songfic thing, I changed Chapter 11 so that there's no song in it. GARGH! that means more work...oh well. I'll have to figure it out. Thanks for supporting this. Please tell me if you want like a date chapter I was thinking or what. Ending it here would be fine for me...So here ya go
Chapter Fourteen!
That day. When Jesse was just suddenly gone changed my life forever. And not for good either.
It was like before I came to California, and met Jesse. That was Before Jesse. After I knew him and turned out to like him, was After Jesse. And when he was gone, that was the biggest turning point. Depression. Denial. The hinge of my life, swinging back and forth from depression, counselors, normal days, days that started out fine. Only until my mind reminded me that I no longer had a reason that I wanted to live for.
Sure people say that I'd want to live for my family, my friends, I'd find a new love, this would work itself out in the end, but I didn't believe them.
I think the only one thing that kept me sane (kind of.) and from killing myself was the hope that someday, I would see Jesse again, and my mom. My mom kept an eye on me ever since that day when she picked me up from the mission, sobbing and dirty. The white pants with black cami and white long sleeve blouse that were clean and new-looking were covered with dirt and grass. She didn't ask questions as I burst into tears and lay my head down in her lap while we were still in the car, even on the way home. She just held my head in her lap for about an hour after we even got home. Andy ran out to the car to tell us that dinner was ready, but soon stopped and didn't make us come in for dinner.
The remarks that I got from Brad, and even Jake, were suddenly punished. They got weeks of grounding for making make-out jokes about me. They obviously didn't see that I had been crying and I was clearly in pain over something. Never even occured to them that I didn't appreciate the PMS jokes that I got for being such a bitch all the time to them.
Well, you know what? They so asked for getting the uber-bitchy treatment and the humungous groundings that came their way.
David was the only one that didn't say anything, well except the time that he asked me if I wanted to trade him rooms (again, yes, nice eh?) because, as he said, he was just doing his part as 'the only nice brother' in the house.
The strange thing was that I accepted his offer, and we moved our stuff the next day.
Two days after Jesse was gone, and I had my own bed, dresser, mirror, night table, phone, and even rug, in a different room. There was still a window seat, it just had a blue cushion on it.
We couldn't find any way to get my pink cushion off of my seat in my room, or David's off of his seat. They were stapled or something, not a smart idea. Why on earth would they want to permenently stick a baby pink cushion on some window seat is beyond me.
Not only did my mom keep coming up to my room every once and a while --at least three times a day--she had my friends calling, and popping in randomly 'just to visit'. Even Kelly and Debbie called. Just because they wanted to tell me all about the latest break-up/make-ups that had happened while I was gone for a while. Surprisingly, I liked these calls because they helped me to think about someone other than myself, and move on a bit.
But only a bit.
'Querida,' Jesse's voice broke through my painful memories, and brought me back to my life. The life that I could endure. . .I think.
Well, I'm pretty sure I can endure it. After all, I've got my wonderful family, yes even sometimes Brad's not that bad, great friends, and Jesse, of course! What more could I want.
Turns out some private time with my boyfriend would be nice. . .but that's just a suggestion.
Hospitals, they put you in there for rest and recouperation. No wonder so many people die in the mental institutes. They are never considered 'rested' enough to escape--I mean, get out--sorry, be considered better. I'm happy that Jesse is only here until Tuesday, which is only day after tomorrow.
'Yeah?' I answered him.
'My arms are a bit tired from standing like this. Mind if we go sit on my bed?'
'Sounds great. You must be hungry. When was the last time you ate anyway?' I think it was at dinner when he almost died.
'At your house. I didn't get to eat very much either, now that you mention it. Actually, I am hungry. What time is it?'
'Ten thirty. Lunch is served here at noon? I don't know. I could run down to the cafeteria here and buy some food. What kind of sandwich would you want?'
'Are you sure you have money? I can wait until noon, when I think the lunch cart comes.'
'No. I have money. I want to buy you something. You've done so much for me, and I can buy lunch for you. No big deal. Now, what kind of sandwich do you want? I think I'm going to have a turkey sanwich. My mom mentioned that they were good.'
'Turkey works for me too.'
'Drinks? Chips? Cookies? All you want is a sandwich? You can have anything you want, you know. Just say so. . .'
'Whatever you are having to drink, I want the exact same thing as you, mi querida. I'll see you in a minute. Have I told you in the last five minutes that I love you?'
'Yeah. But you can say it all you want. I love you too. I'll hurry.' And I walked down the hall to the elevator.
Down to floor one, take a left, then a right, and all of a sudden you're in a room with lots of fake plastic plants. And fake plastic trees. Trees do not make any inside place feel homey. They just sort of make the room look unnatural. Strange. Yeah.
They have some kind of music playing softly in the corner from a radio. There's a spot where you buy your fountain drinks, and a counter where you can order hot food. The register stand is piled high with cheap candy and sodas. Near the candy, they have fridges with all kinds of sodas. The sandwiches, it turned out were just bags of bread, and the condiments in a serve-yourself fashion.
I picked out some bread, and made two sandwiches for Jesse and myself. After grabbing two packages of potato chips, and some lemonade, I paid and went back upstairs.
To say that Jesse liked the sandwich would be an understatement. He devoured his, his chips, and half of my food. I wasn't that hungry.
'So, I take it you liked the sandwich, right?' I asked him after he had finished eating all the food that he could find.
'Yes, querida. Thank you for lunch. Are you sure you're not hungry? You only ate half of your sandwich and your chips.' He looked worried that I'd given him my sandwich and was still hungry.
'No. I'm fine. It looks like you used the sandwich better than if I had thrown it in the garbage, right?'
'Now I not only have to go to your house again for dinner, I owe you dinner as well.' He was pretending to look all put out, but still sexy at the same time.
Sigh.
'Well,' I said, playing the game with him, 'only if you. . .I don't know,' I jumped up from my chair and climbed on the bed next to him. 'Maybe if you give me a kiss I'll go out with you.' I teased.
His eyes changed from playful, to soft and loving. As he drew me over to his side, I could feel my heart swell up. When he placed his hand on my cheek, I leaned in to meet him halfway.
Jesse's kisses, while being filled with love, make me feel like I am more loved, more beautiful, than anyone that I know. Anyone on the planet. They are so great. Not much description, but I still wish that that nurse hadn't walked in then.
We were comfortably relaxing on the bed and kissing. His hands were behind my neck, and running through my hair, and mine were on his chest, exploring the hottness that is Jesse.
Sparks were flying around the room as his hands moved further down from my head, and mine moved anywhere they pleased.
He wasn't stopping me, and I was going to do what I wanted.
Except from the nurses here. They have the worst timing ever.
Then someone from the door says 'Ahem! Can I please take Mr. de Silva's stats for,' she looks at her watch, 'the eleven rounds? I know that you two were having a nice reunion and all, but I think that he needs his rest.'
Like he's going to get it here. Right. With grumpy people bursting in every two hours to take temperatures, blood, look at their watches and 'ahem!' at me. Not to mention disrupt 'bonding time' between us.
Finally, she left.
But, it was too late. She had totally ruined the moment.
'I'm glad that I get to get out of here soon. What do you think, querida?'
'Yeah. This place is so busy all the time. And the people here just. . . don't like me I think.' He chuckled, and wrapped an arm around my waist.
'They are busy, but I don't think they hate you. I don't hate you.
'Isn't it amazing, that we finally get to be together? And I'm alive?'
'Sometimes I can hardly believe that things are so good right now. I have a great family, great friends, but most of all, a sexy, great boyfriend,' I said as I snuggled up next to him.
My life is great.
So. That's Ch.14. If you think it should go on, then tell me, otherwise, I'm going to end it here.
