September 2nd
Gosh. Today is, like, so awesome. All the fine ladies are checking me out. Tommie won't leave me alone. She's pretty cool. You know what? I think I'm going crazy. I think that other guys have secret pimp books, too. But they don't call them pimp books. They call them diaries. I think those who have diaries are gay. I really do. Like Ronald Weasly... My gaydar screams out "Fagget!" with him. Or maybe he's a bi. That would be interesting. He he he. Have you noticed how much that people ignore me? Maybe it's because I'm Irish. Kiss me, I'm Irish. Ha ha ha.
You know what I love? I love cake. Cake is good. But you know what is better than cake? Oreos. Yum, I love those things! I swallow them whole. They are so yummy and good. Do you like oreos? You are crazy if you don't.
You know what else I love? I love American muggle movies. They are so pointless. Like the one about Harry Potter. J.K.R. took real people and made it fake. We should be getting money, but it seems like she forgets about her inspiration. Authors, who needs 'em?
(A/N: We are going back to Ronald's diary.)
September 3
Whoa. That was weird. I just had a chugging contest, and I lost. For the first tine, I lost in a compition related to food. I lost to Harry. He seems better than me at everything. Maybe I'll get popular if I become his friend. Nah, that would be weird.
It is so boring right now. I think I am starting to hallucinate. I just saw Billie Joe from Greenday. Wait. That was Harry! He must have gotten contacts, because he isn't wearing his glasses. Wow, he looks so punk. Since when does he wear Converse? And he is, like, wearing all black. Are those tattoos on his arms? Oh my gosh, they are! Wait until Tommie sees him, she will hate him for sure! Oh my gosh! She is talking to him! What? Oh no! I have to go, diary!
Sob sob I feel so hated! She was the one who made him like that! Waaaah I want my mommy! Waaaaaaaaah! Mommy, help me! I feel heart-broken! Wahaaaa!
Sniff I think I am okay. I just feel so left out. Harry has Tommie, Dean has Felicia, and Seamus has Athena, Dot, Chloe, and Victoria. Uugh, is there nobosy for me? Wait. Somebody is behind me. I can...
Whoa that was weird. Some girl comes up from behind me and covers my eyes and then kisses me. I think I liked it. I need to go find the mystery kisser. Be back soon!
I'm back. I can only think of six people in the room at the time. There was a girl named Cho, Tommie (Who was with Harry.), some Gryfindor girl, Draco, and Dean. I'm hoping that it is Tommie, but that would be weird on the account of she was with Harry. I think it was Cho. Let me go ask.
Okay, it was not Cho. I tried to kiss her and she put me in a headlock. And it isn't the Gryffindor girl either. It has to be Tommie. It just has to.
September 5
Diary, I think that I am officially stumped. It wasn't Tommie, Cho, or that other girl. Who could it be? Iv'e asked Harry to tell me, but he just laughs and tells me he swore secrecy. Tommie just plain ignores me, and Cho threatened to break my nose if I talked to her one more time. Even Draco and Dean seem weird around me. They keep blushing and stuff. I wonder if they're sick or something.
Now it is time for bed, but I am secretly writing in you. You are so special to me, dear diary. You are the only one who understands me. You know what? I hear someone else's quill scratching, too. I bet it's Seamus. Or maybe Malfoy. Stupid queer. I bet he's in denial about his feelings. I bet he screams inside his head "I AM NOT GAY!" He he. I can picture that. I can picture Dean doing that, too. Good thing I am not gay. I am not! I AM NOT GAY!
A/N: Can you tell who kissed him? Contact me and guess, because if you do it in the reveiws, you might ruin it for someone. The first five to get it right will get something lovely, I just haven't thought of it. Maybe I will let you write some of the story? Or you can be honored by being the lovely Tommie's sisters?
