Title: Did You Just Say You Love Me?
Author: hezziebob182
Email me at: M
Summary: What if Grace's gift for Luke in "No Future" had been a different kind of gift? Rating for sexual content and mild language. My first ever solo fanfic so please r&r!
Chapter 1: So where's my present?
Disclaimer: I don't own Joan Of Arcadia. :( Pretty please don't sue me!
AN: As I've said, I'm a newbie so be gentle with the reviews! If it sucks then you could always just not tell me! Hehehe. Only joking. Tell me but try to be nice about it. Constructive criticism is welcome. Sort of. ;)
Luke couldn't believe his own parents had forgotten his birthday. More than that he was shocked and touched by Joan's gift, the fact that she had remembered, got a gift for him and managed to make it something he would actually like was beyond comprehension, even for a genius like Luke.
"I got you something too," said Grace, an apprehensive yet playful glimmer passing her eyes.
"Thanks Grace," a smile emerging from his previously sulky face, "And You Joan," he reaches over to ruffle his sisters long brown hair, "it really means a lot to me that you both care about my birthday."
"Whatever, Gravity Boy," Luke had come to except these names Grace called him as affectionate, used to show she cared when "Luke" was too serious for her. "I did get you a present but I can't give it to you now," Grace pauses for a second, obviously deep in thoughts concerning more than she's letting on. "Come back to my house tomorrow after school, my parents will be out and this time there will be no interruptions."
"Cool, can I come?" Joan had never been invited to Grace's house and was secretly rather hurt by this.
"Um, sorry Joan, this is between me and Luke." Grace wonders if this suggests as much to Joan as it actually means.
"Oh, Okay then." Joan tries her best not to look miffed.
"I'll see you tomorrow Girardi." Grace looks down at the floor and dashes out of the garage.
Joan didn't know exactly which one of them that was directed at.
"Yeah…bye then." Luke is puzzled by this obvious display of embarrassment from his girlfriend.
"Bye Grace." Joan didn't care if Grace had only meant Luke, she would see her tomorrow at school anyway.
The next day Luke hardly even got to speak to Grace, he got the distinct feeling that she was avoiding him. Still, after school he went round to her house and was led strait upstairs where he sat at the end of her bed, eyes wide open still embracing the luxury of being allowed in her bedroom where he could soak up the living space and atmosphere that screamed Grace. He could smell her very scent that was neither perfume nor deodorant, it was Grace. He felt he could absolutely drown in it.
"So where's my present?"
"Sit down, wait and I'll get it for you" Grace smiles suggestively and strides into the bathroom, glancing over her shoulder at Luke before closing the door behind her.
"Grace… what are you doing in there?"
The door opens.
"Happy Birthday."
Grace is wearing a deep purple silk robe. Thin and shimmering, it clings tightly to her every curve. Curves Luke didn't even know existed.
Luke's mouth hangs open and stays there for several seconds. Grace's smile fades ever so slightly.
"Whoa Grace. What…what are you doing?"
You don't like your present?
"Grace, what exactly is my present?"
Grace walks over to Luke, who's still sat on her bed and leans over him, kissing him lightly on the lips before stepping back again.
"Grace?"
"Don't make me say it geek."
No Grace, if your present for me is your virginity you then I need you to tell me…"
"Luke, Sex. I want to have sex with you. Don't tell me you don't want it too. Anyway it isn't a gift; it's an exchange. After our science closet make out sessions became a regular thing I thought that this was what we were naturally moving towards. I'm surprised you haven't thought about it, I was waiting for you to ask about it first. "
"Of course I've thought about it. I want to make love to you someday because I do love you, I just don't want to do something with you that your... we're not ready for. Plus your father is a rabbi, we're not married."
Grace's breaks out into a huge grin, her hands fidgeting with the sleeves of her robe.
"Hold on dude, rewind, did you just say that you…" Grace looks down at the floor, cheeks burning red as she already knows the answer to the question she's about to ask, "…love me?"
"Yes Grace, I said I love you because it's true. I love you more than I love anything else in the world and considering that you brought sex up first I don't think you have the right to be mad at me for saying it. I love you; I love you, I love you! You're my girlfriend and I should be able to tell you that!"
"Hey, hey Girardi, chill, I'm not mad with you, I… I love you too." Grace stares at Luke, willing him to sense how she feels, how she's been feeling for a while now. "I've wanted to share all of myself with you ever since we got together. You're the only one I can talk to about my mom. Telling you about her, it wasn't easy you know. All that shit never crossed over with anything else before. I was so scared, I didn't know what you would think or say, if you would still care about me… you were so perfect though. You're the only person in this world I feel I can trust. You're my whole world Luke. You and my dad are the only things I have left to live for."
A few damp tears flow from Grace's eyes as she tries to hold back hundreds more. Desperate as he always has been to comfort her, Luke pulls her on to his lap and wraps his arms around her, cradling her as she has only allowed him to scarce times before. He feels Grace give in and allow herself to be supported, her body relaxing into his.
"Do you think we have to do this for me to stay with you? That's so untrue." Luke's voice drops to a barely audible whisper. "I love you Grace," His grip around her tightens. "I would never leave you."
Barely even sixteen, Luke feels so responsible for the beautiful, fragile girl curled into his chest. He would rather die than hurt her, his very purpose in this life has become to love and protect her.
This is love and care Grace is so unused to. Her mom said she loved her often enough but it certainly didn't feel that when she was falling over and needing constant help and supervision from Grace while she was uncontrollably drunk. Even the news that she had damaged her liver beyond repair and was now risking her own life hadn't seemed to hit home for her. Grace had never had chance to be cared for, she had been two busy caring for her own mom, who was now being snatched away from her one destructive drink at a time. Then there was her dad. She truly did love him and he loved her and as complicated as it may be she knew he still loved the woman he married all those years back, the woman who had carried his only child, the years had tumbled by though and Grace had been forced to watch as her mother had sucked all the soul from him. Watching his wife merge from a bright vivacious burst of life to a ruthless monster ruled by her only vice had left him devoid of hope, his daughter his only reason to go on. A dark part of Grace has always resented him for letting things stay this way and so a bitter mixture of love and hate is the only love Grace had ever known. Her love for Luke was so different, so pure. He gave her more security than she had ever risked feeling in the past.
Grace turns around and kisses Luke, slipping her tongue into his mouth as his hands run gently through her soft blonde hair. The two of them stayed this way for what seemed to be hours, until Grace took her hands from Luke's waist and used them to untie the knot on her robe. With a shrug of her shoulders it fell to the floor to reveal a matching deep purple bra and panties. Luke's eyes skimmed over her, taking in the pale glimmer of her skin, the flat midriff and toned thighs, the full womanly chest she hides so often with her leather jacket but most of all, the look in her eyes. Lust.
"What about this Grace?" he says, indicating to her lingerie. "Do you really think you need all this to look beautiful? You're the most beautiful thing in the world to me no matter what you wear. After all you've preached about women's pressure to conform to the media ideals being degrading?"
"I got tired of hiding behind other people's protests to avoid doing stuff I might enjoy." She reaches out to unbutton the collar of Luke's shirt.
God this is so hard! If I do this then I might hurt her, she might freak out and run away like she always does. What if I mess up? It's not like I'm experienced! She's insecure right now; I can't risk making her feel used. But if I don't then she'll think I don't want to and I do, I really do. What if I don't do it and then she feels rejected? How can I show her how I feel?
God this is so hard! Why is he taking so long to say or do something? I know he thinks that if he has sex with me I'll freak out and run away, it's true that I do that a lot. Sometimes it's just harder to stay, even when people try to understand. Especially when people try to understand. That's where things with Luke are so different. He knows me better than anyone else in the world, as much as I've tried he just won't let me push him away and the more he shows just how much he wants to stay the more I want him to. I know he's anxious about the sex as well but neither of us has done that before, I'm as inexperienced as he is. I want him and I love him and I need to be closer to him. He can't say no can he? How can I show him how I feel?
"Listen Grace…"
"Luke…"
The two teenagers spoke in the same second, their voices projecting through the room and early evening air.
"You first." Luke felt this the appropriate thing to say but actually he wanted to say what he had to say before Grace could make his mind any fuzzier than it already was.
"No, you." Grace could sense the urgency in Luke's voice.
Luke didn't need to be asked twice.
"I just couldn't stand to lose you or hurt you in any way. Your upset right now," Luke tries to form his messed up thoughts into sentences. Grace's lack of clothes wasn't exactly helping him. He forces himself to drag his gaze from her body, drinking in her eyes, the crystal blue eyes that reflected like the most breakable glass. "I don't just love you, I need you every bit as much as you need me. I can wait until your one-hundred percent sure."
"Luke, I've never been so sure about anything in my whole life. You won't lose me, I promise. If you were to lose me I would lose you," Grace reaches out and runs her hand slowly through Luke's hair until her hand reaches his cheek. "I don't think I could let that happen."
"You promise...?"
"Yes," Grace kisses one of her index fingers and places it on Luke's mouth. "Shhhhhh, just relax."
To be continued soon...
It's unrealistically sweet, I know, it makes me smile though!
I already have the next chapter, when you get it depends on how many people have nice things to say about this one. Hahaha. Keep on rocking dudes!
