Disclaimer: I dislike loud noises, especially early in the morning. I also dislike being sued.

The first thing Jessica did after dinner was to call Janet.

"Hi Janet!"

"Jessica, do you know what time it is?"

"Let's see…if it's seven here, it's nine there."

Jessica could almost hear Janet rolling her eyes. "Well as long as we've got that straight. How was your day?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Fowl are quite cordial. Butler could freak-out Swartzeneger. (You can't flame me for misspelling THAT!) Artemis is a vampire of immeasurable intellect."

"Erm, I think you're jumping to conclusions on the whole vampire thing."

"He walks like a vampire, he talks like a vampire, he's apparently got the wisdom of someone who has roamed the earth for thousands of years, he has these weird vampire-like manners, and he drinks 'red wine'; he's a vampire." (A/n I did it! Four vampires in one sentence.)

Artemis, who, of course, had already bugged the conversation laughed.

"Don't sleep to deeply and it's garlic flowers, not bulbs that ward off vampires."

"Ha-ha, and I knew that."

"Sure you did."

"What'd you do?"

"I went to a museum. Our guide looked like Orlando Bloom."

"And consequentially, you can't remember anything else?"

"There was actually some very interesting stuff in there."

"I just realized something."

"What?"

"As millionaires, they're probably rather paranoid, right?"

"Yeah….oh crud, you think they bugged the line?"

"Hopefully we haven't hit any buzzwords."

Artemis smiled. She wasn't stupid. Though, the fact that she though he was a vampire could be quite entertaining. Butler cut off his musings as he entered the room.

"Your mother says it's time for dessert."

Artemis looked-up and sighed. "Then I guess I should go."

Jessica quickly went to prepare for dessert. Worst case scenario would be that Artemis had overheard the conversation and either hated her guts or was going to mock her for the rest of her life. She could deal with that. Plus, Artemis was a genius. Surely geniuses are above that kind of stuff?

Holly, Root, Trouble, and Foaly were all watching Foaly's big-screen. What was on? The cameras installed in Fowl Manor is what was on. Holly smiled at the screen.

"A great way to start your night, don't you think so, Trouble?"

Trouble smiled. "Yes, a wonderful and, might I add, Grubless, way to start the night."

Root was chuckling and a paler shade than usual.

Artemis sat down across from Jessica for dessert. He began to analyze (shock). Brown hair, brown eyes, about five foot, paler, but not as pale as him, glasses, long, curly hair, and slight facial blemishes (yes, it is beneath a genius to call them zits) were here major attributes.

"I hope you like dark chocolate dear," cooed Artemis's mother. "It's the only dessert Arty really likes."

Artemis threw Jessica a glance as warning to not call him Arty. "Truce?" she mouthed. Artemis nodded. She was a least a bit of an intellectual.

"I've never met a dessert I didn't like." Jessica threw everyone a smile and Mr. Fowl laughed. Artemis gave a nearly indistinguishable smile and began to eat. No friction, no issues, no problem, this exchange student thing might not be that bad after all.

Jessica really had to pee. Of course, to get to the only bathroom she knew about (there were others) she had to go down the main hallway. And if she went down the main hallway she would have to pass the pictures. She wondered if the 'what-are-you-doing-here-mortal' look was an inbred Fowl trait or they were taught. Yes, Fowl curriculum was reading, writing, math, social studies, language arts, and the Fowl stare. Jessica really had to go now, so she sucked it up and went down the hall.

Butler was watching the monitor for the cameras when he noticed someone walking down the main hall. It was Jessica. For some reason she was walking straight down the center and was apparently trying to make herself very small. Butler pondered over that for a minute, and then chuckled. The Fowls were and are quite intimidating.

Whoa, my longest chappie yet! 3 pages on word! I'm so proud of myself. :)

Review responses now!

Naomii-chan: I like Nota-chan and fluff. Especially the marshmallow kind. :)

froggiesrcool: I hath updated and no, you do not want to know.

utena: lifts eyebrows into hairline ow! No crashing stuff. This computer is vital to my sanity. (kinda)

Phyllis Nodrey: Atwixt. I like that word. MINE!

LaBOBuren: When a computer is old, slow, and annoying, it is best to put it out of it's misery with a sledgehammer, unless it's a school computer….Oh, and ye shall never be able to out annoy the mastaaaa grashoppa.

boogalaga: yeah, I'm leaning toward green beer too.:) You ain't got no reason to pity her yet. Ahh! The grammar! It burnses us!

Jules866: What plot? I have no plot. Especially not to take over the world. No plot at all. twitch

BeatlesLover: Yes, I know they're short. This is because I am a raving loony who writes her chapters all in one sitting. I will try.

Eva Evens: Yaith! My first thumbs up!

silverfingers: They are all girls because Arty needs a girl to keep him from doing something terribly stupid.:) Coherence is highly over-rated.

tikitikirevenge: Ah, I relish a challenge. :P I like to rhyme, I do it all the time. Fezzik was a man of great strength, his poetry had a similar length. I'm smarter than Vizzini, cuz he was a meanie.:) I am a nutball, from the realm of the semi-sane I do fall.

Oh, oh, I just began to wonder, do I have any male reviewers? I cannae tell. The names give little away. Orlando Lover is rather obvious, but Death Clown poses a challenge.