Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter...nope...not at all.
Caution: mentions crack. If you don't like it, don't read it!
pillow: Sorry if anything in here offends anyone...the turkey made me do it I swear!
turkey: cluck! cluck! cluck! wobble! wobble! bobble! cluck!
The Adventures of Sirius Black--
into the bathroom of DOOM!--3rd year
Sirius' POV (after hours)
"Damn. Shit. Damn. Shit. Damn. Shi--"
"Sirius, could you please stop cursing?"
"Huh?" I turned around to see Shadow in all of his dark glory. "Oh, hey Shadow. Long time, no see? Wait...aren't you supposed to be with Mimi?" I asked.
"Hm? Oh...she's in the classroom to your left."
"What's she doing in there?" I asked.
"After hours...?" He said.
"Huh?"
"After hours...with someone of the opposite gender?" Shadow slowly rocked his head right and left and had his palms to the sky as if it was obvious as to what his mistress was doing.
"Sorry dude...I've got no idea what the hell she's doing." I said.
"Are you bloody stupid?" Shadow asked. "She's snogging the living daylights out of some 4th year!" He yelled.
"Shadow...keep your voice down or Filch will hear us." Mio said as she stuck her head out the classroom door. "Oh, hey, Siri!" She grinned and then slamed the door shut.
"Ewww...was that Micheal Savoy? He's a man slut!" I said, disgusted.
"I know." Black dog ears with silver on the tips popped out of Shadow's head as he sighed.
The door of the classroom started shaking so I quickly thought of a way to get out of there or else Shadow would have me sitting in the middle of the hallway until Mio was sick of snogging(which could be a LONG time).
"Well...uh...I've got to go...M.T. Minnie's gonna have my head if I'm late...BYE!" With that I ran into the nearest boys restroom which was a quarter of a mile straight ahead so Shadow could still see me once I was there. Which sucks...alot...'cuz he knows I lied to him...and lying to him is like lying to Mio...'cuz she beats you up after she knows you've lied to her...and that always hurts...alot.
I heard him say something, but it didn't make sense. He said: 'ait! 'iris! Dun yo in tha' fatrum! It's hunte'!
...Whatever that means...
Well...yeah...sooo I went into some bathroom...far, far away from that guardian, man slut, and...Mio.
I looked around and saw that there was only one toliet unlike the four that were usually in a bathroom.
That was my first sign that something was not right.
The second sign was the moaning that came from the toliet.
The third was the fact that there was a ghost pacing right in front of the toliet stall door.
"So, there's a line for this bathroom as well?" I asked quite cunningly if I do say so myself.
"ACK!...erm...Why art thou in this...erm...loo?" asked the ghost.
"Uhh...I was running away from my friend, who was snogging the hell out of some man slut,her guardian, andthe bastard who calls himself a caretaker and his cat...that a good enough answer for you?" I grinned.
"Wha?"
Aha! He's dropping his 'I talk weird therefore you have to answer all my questions! NA NA NA NA NA!' act!
"Aha! You're dropping your 'I talk weird therefore you have to answer all my questions! NA NA NA NA NA!' act! I knew that I would be able to over power you at sometime! MWAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed oh sooo sexily.
"Dude...ya on crack or sumthin'?" the ghost asked.
"No, I'm not...though some of the Slytherins are...or at least I think they are. They surely act like they do. Why are you asking? Do you want some? Or something? You know it would be very hard for you to use it and stuff, 'cuz, well, you're dead."
"Dun dis the ghosts, man!" the ghost said while putting his hands on his hips and leaning on his right leg...or what should be his right leg. God...this ghost is confusing me!
"I'm confoozed!" I whined.
"Dude...than stop gettin' urself confused!"
"Dude...stop calling me dude then!" I yelled.
"Well...like...I'm like...sorry...okay? Like?" the ghost said...in a very familiar way...
It reminds me of someone...or something I heard...once...
Then it dawned on me...
This was the fifth floor boy's bathroom...
The one that houses...
Gregory...the Gay...
Oh...shit...
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