After a full thirty seconds of silence – during which the Goa'uld refused to launch a surprise attack on the SGC – Sam sighed. It was like talking to a stone wall, and she was pretty sure no matter what she said, he wasn't going to believe her. She looked at Daniel, silently pleading for help, but the archeologist didn't know what to say anymore than she did.
Jack scowled.
"It's a book, Teal'c."
"But one you have not yet read, O'Neill…" Teal'c said, making it almost a question.
"Well… no…"
"Then you have little or no understanding of the secret society of wizards and witches – or what they must go through to hide their presence from the Muggles."
"Wait a minute," Daniel said. "If the wizards in the book hide from Muggles, what makes you think you can go to London and look for them? You're not magical."
Sam groaned. Daniel had just put a hypothetical on the situation and had dashed any and all hope that she might be able to convince Teal'c that he was reading a simple story and not a History.
"I am not human," Teal'c said, confidently. "The wizards will be able to tell that and will know I want nothing more from them than knowledge of their culture."
"It's not real, Teal'c," Jack said, again, looking about ready to pull his hair out – or throttle Teal'c.
Teal'c didn't look at all concerned. In fact, he looked as if he were enjoying the debate.
"Perhaps if you were to accompany me to London, you would be allowed to meet the wizards as well, O'Neill," Teal'c said. "The History says that the place they all meet is called The Leaky Cauldron – perhaps they will admit you and allow you to stay for a short time."
"I. Am. Not. Going. To. London," Jack said, and now Sam could see a little vein in his forehead that looked ready to explode. "It's not real…" He looked at Carter, and scowled, because she was looking amused. "You'd better fix this, Carter."
Sam's smile at O'Neill's annoyance faded immediately.
"I've tried, sir. I don't know what else to tell him…"
"Have him talk to Hammond – or better yet, find this writer and make him talk to Teal'c and tell him it's all made up."
"Her."
"What?"
"J.K. Rowling is a woman, sir."
"Well, call her and fix it," Jack said. "And I mean it."
He turned on his heel and stormed out of the library, muttering under his breath. Daniel gave her a sympathetic look, but he was too glad that it wasn't him in her situation to stick around. He left the room right behind Jack.
"O'Neill seems most upset," Teal'c observed, quietly. "Perhaps you should have told him about this secret society long ago, Major Carter."
Sam sighed, giving up for the moment, at least.
"I guess so."
She left as well, carefully going in the opposite direction as Jack, and heading for the infirmary. Janet might have some idea of what to say to get through to Teal'c. Sam hoped so, anyways, because she was fresh out of arguments.
OOOOOOOOOO
"He what?"
Sam scowled.
"If you keep giggling like that I'm going to stab you with one of your needles…"
Janet wiped tears of mirth from her eyes, and tried to suppress her smile, knowing that Sam wasn't nearly as amused as she was.
"I'm sorry, Sam… but why didn't you tell him when you gave him the books that they were just for fun?"
"I didn't think I needed to, Janet. He's a grownup. Would you tell Cassie it isn't real?"
"Cassie would have asked – Teal'c is the kind that would jump to conclusions. You should have known that."
Sam sighed, and dropped into the chair beside Janet's desk.
"What am I going to do?"
"Tell him it's just a book."
"I tried. I tried, Colonel O'Neill tried, and Daniel tried. He just thinks we're all part of the conspiracy to keep it all quiet."
"Have him try to make a broomstick fly…" Janet said, "When it doesn't work, that'll stop the magic talk."
"He'll just say it's not working because he's not magical…"
Janet smiled again, unable to help herself. She wouldn't have been surprised if it had been Daniel who'd gotten himself into this kind of situation – Daniel always jumped into things without thinking them through first – but Sam was usually more careful.
"So what are you going to do?"
"Colonel O'Neill says for me to call J.K. Rowling and make her tell Teal'c it isn't real…"
"That's probably not going to happen…"
"I know…"
Sam put her chin on the palm of her hand, thinking hard… unfortunately, nothing was coming to mind – which was really saying something considering that she'd come up with ideas to save the world and the universe several times over.
"Hold on, Sam…" Janet said, brightening. "I might have an idea."
As the astrophysicist watched, Fraiser turned her attention to her computer for a minute, tapping furiously at the keys with a slight smile on her face. A moment later, she grinned, and turned the monitor for Sam to see.
"There's your solution. Seattle, Washington, this Saturday and Sunday."
"A Harry Potter convention…?" Sam asked, dubiously. "I don't know…"
Janet shrugged.
"It's either that or go to London…"
Sam frowned.
"I'll ask the Colonel…"
