A/n: Yeah, I know it's not as good as the others, namely The Night Before Jackmas (perhaps my masterpiece!), but hey. An update's an update, and it's not so bad. shrug Made ME giggle.
Behold, What Stud is This, to the tune of What Child is This!
What stud is this who did pass out
On mine own lap and is drooling?
Good Navy, fear, for Jack Is here,
And the Black Pearl's pace is grueling.
This, this is Captain Jack,
Whom eunuchs fear for all they lack.
This, this is quite a stud,
And his face is oh so hairy.
But now he stands on unsteady feet
And he hiccups and turns to me.
His eyes, how they glisten with pirate pride
And he mouths "I need to pee,"
Yes, yes, he's a rude bloke,
But my flames of love he's started to stoke.
I know, I know he puked on my shoe,
But he's hot, so what can I do?
I bid my Will a fond farewell,
Whether he realized only time will tell.
I married Jack by the inn's caterer,
Jack was drunk, so I'll tell him later.
Will, Will, what could I do?
You know I'm a slut, I could never stay true.
Jack, Jack, nine inches long,
But Will, my dear, you have none.
But now the Commodore walk by
This humble inn where Jack and I lie.
Looking at he, then at me,
The noble seaman doth cry.
My good Lord, this city here
Is full of eunuchs who cannot hold beer.
But Jack, kind Jack, he is a stud
Who could drink all of Noah's flood.
Today I leave to sail with he,
Nothing and no one to bother me.
Just me and my pirate until we die
Or until I find a new guy.
A really hot Navy guy.
Two years have gone past since my last one… Hopefully I'll keep going. I probably will… What Christmas thing should I do next?
I've noticed that in those two years, I've gotten meaner. I'm sorry to all of those who are going to say something like "RAR ELIZABETH NO SLUT" etc. etc… Hey, it's funny. ARTISTIC LICENCE!
Review if you liked it :3
