** Change of Heart **, chapter 4: Rebirth
by Lilian
lilian413@yahoo.com
AN: Chapter 4 already, oh my!. And this is all because of all the wonderful reviewers who have given me their wonderful comments, and to whom this story is dedicated to!!.
The more you review, the more I write!. I swear, just reading your beautiful words makes want to write faster and faster... I'm a praise-addict, I think! :p
To Barb, who anwered my questions, and without whom this chapter would taste different.
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The brat wasn't going to make it. And neither would the Witch. He would loose both of them, taken away by incompatible physiologies.
And the Source knew it.
He could sometimes look into the future, only glimpses through his head, but he had seen what might have happened.
If the child came to term, the witch would die.
During birth, the brat would drain her mother dry, her power too strong for her weak human body to hold. The Witch would die during labor, if not sooner. And he would loose his chance at gaining a new type of soldier.
He would have none of that.
He had been raking his brain for the past few days, trying to stop it. To save it. And he had
come up with a solution.
He would need to bond with the Witch. Share his blood with her, making her stronger, fitter, and more powerful. Through their link, he would be able to slip tiny amounts of power, changing her, shaping her up, making her fit to give birth to a whole new race of demons.
And in the meantime, giving her new powers. Active ones.
What use was a demonic hit man with no powers that can kill?.
He could feel the child's power already--- it was like a halo that surrounded her wherever she went. It was intoxicating. It rippled, and waved, and oozed, heralding a new breed so powerful, it would make any other demon obsolete.
Maybe Belthazor hadn't been a *complete* waste of time.
Still, it disgusted him to no end, the idea of bonding with a Witch. But the brat--- the brat would be worth it. He knew she would. Still, he had his doubts.
If he bonded to the Witch, sharing his blood with her, it would bind them together.
Although she would probably ignore the consequences, and remain oblivious to the connection, the Source was still hesitant.
Demon-to-demon bonding wasn't unusual on itself. Comrades in arms did it all the time, whether they knew it or not. But demon-to-witch, and especially demon-to-Charmed-one... it was a totally different concept.
On the other hand, if he did go through with it, he would be able to completely control her. With his blood running through her system, he would slowly gain complete control of her psyche. Which on itself was a good thing, considering the possibilities of the Witch's sisters of trying to turn her back.
Intelligent witches were scarce these days. That's why they had had such success in killing them. If he did go through with the bonding, she would become smarter, somehow gaining part of the knowledge he had acquired throughout the ages.
Another drawback.
Was he willing to risk thousands of years worth of work, of power, for one hybrid?. For one little crossbreed, wailing, newborn and useless for the first years of her life?.
To his surprise, he found himself saying yes.
It would be worth it.
Who knew what powers the brat would possess. Levitation, shimmering, energy balls, premonitions-- and all the others possibilities that still remained unexplored. Fire balls, time freezing, deflection, telekinesis, energy drains, blinking, morphing--- the list was endless.
And all to his service.
Once the brat was born, he would have two mighty warriors at his disposal. Mother and Child, working for *him*. For Evil.
It totally blew away the cons' side of the scale.
Totally.
But first, he needed her to be willing. And Belthazor had just given him the perfect chance to accomplish that.
Through their link, he had watched with interest as he kissed the Eldest Charmed One. And even he had to admit the half-breed was cunning. Barely days after his Witch went missing, and he was already trying to bed another one of them!.
He floated over to where the Witch lay, her eyes weary and tired. He noticed how her fingers absently scratched his mark on her. It was through there that he would enter, and through there he would control.
Scratch as she might, that mark would never fade. It was more than her skin what he had burnt; it was her soul.
"What do you want now?".
As days went by, her voice changed. Her throat was raw, as she had abused it screaming for hours to no end. That, and the fact the air was different down here, thicker, making sounds travel differently.
Good. She was already adapting.
"Merely to show you something, my sweet".
Her eyes flashed with anger for a second, and Phoebe Halliwell shone through. But only for a second. It then receded into the back of her mind, tired and lonely.
"You never do something just for the pleasure of it. And stop 'sweeting' me. It's disgusting".
There was still fire in her. He would need that.
He had let her get away with most of what she said. Demons far more powerful than she would *ever* be, had died for less than that. But if it was one thing the Source was, it was patient.
And his time had come.
"Silence, Witch, and look".
He ran his long fingers up and down her cheeks, almost like a caress. Phoebe was too exhausted to push him away. That did not stop her from shivering in disgust. Every time he touched her it was--- revolting!. Her insides churned at his touch, and her mind shook, nauseated.
But this time, it was different. It wasn't just the sick thrill of making her squirm. This time, he wanted her to see what her precious Belthazor was doing, while she was trapped in the Underworld.
He sent the image through, and waited.
He need not wait long.
Phoebe's went glazed, as the image entered her brain. A lot like a premonition, she let it come forth, knowing resistance would be useless.
And what she saw, broke her heart.
Because she had already lost hope, but still kept his love as a lifeline.
But now, she didn't even have *that* to hold on to.
She watched helplessly as Cole kissed Piper. Her sister. Her beloved older sister. The one who she had confided to, the one she had trusted above them all. Piper. Piper and Cole. Kissing.
Kissing passionately.
In her own room, for crying out loud!.
She remained there, unmoving, waiting for the images to stop.
And she wondered whether the curse set upon her soul wasn't taking its effect on her. Because things just couldn't get any worse.
"Demonic love does not exist. It's only lust".
Cole had said those same words to her a long time ago. And when the Source whispered them in low tones, hushed and meaningful, she feared the truth they carried within them.
Because she now knew Cole did not love her.
"Finally. You understand now?".
She couldn't accept it. She couldn't nod at his words, even if she knew them to be right. She had just lost the one thing she still cared about... and lost it to her own sister.
Hopeless, her body crumbled under the pressure, loosing the confident stance she had carried for days now. Hanging on. Holding onto something she thought she had.
Love.
Love that never existed. Love that never was.
Gods, how could she have been so stupid?.
"I can make it better".
{You can?. You think you can just erase the breaking of my heart, the destruction of my faith?.
Believe me, you cannot. No one can. The only one who ever stood a chance at mending me is now in the arms of my sister...}.
To say she was in shock was a misunderstanding.
Phoebe was lost.
What's left when your family leaves you?. What can be done when your love betrays you?.
Her heart thundered in her ears, muffling her sobs. Was she really crying?. She couldn't feel tears on her cheeks--- but her eyes stung, burnt by the tears she wasn't shedding.
Her whole world had just collapsed in on her. Even when she had accepted the Source's blackmail, she had always kept her hopes high. Cole would save her. Cole would come for her. Her sisters would look for her, and come and rescue her.
It was that idea that kept her going, the certainty that somehow, Piper and Paige and Cole and Leo would find a way to release her from the Source's grasp.
But now--- now there was nothing left.
She felt herself falling, falling as she had fallen when Prue died. Because the floor had just vanished from under her feet, and there was nothing she could hold on to. Cole had been her rock, her strength in those dark days, still so painfully close. Piper was too immersed in her own pain, and Leo was busy consoling *her*... that left her alone. Alone to deal, to cope with a reality that had just slapped them in the face.
What was she supposed to do now?.
"I can make it better".
The Source hated repeating himself. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't had to do so in hundreds of years. When he spoke, demons and warlocks alike listened. But it seemed as if the Witch wasn't listening.
She seemed pretty damn gone, for him.
Her eyes vacant and lost, her eyes fixated on something he couldn't see. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to show that to her just now. Maybe he should've waited a little longer, until she was stronger...
He had seen, (and been the cause of) as humans crumbled under the weight of their own feelings. Had watched, laughing, as they went into depressions so low, he couldn't quite get the hang of them.
He sometimes forgot humans were different. That sadness could kill them faster than any disease could. That they sought happiness so hard, they sometimes missed it, even when it lay right under their noses.
Great!. He probably overloaded her brain too quickly. Ahhg!. He *hated* dealing with weaklings like these!.
"How?".
Her voice was low and hushed, as if she was speaking through clenched teeth. One look at her, and he realized she was.
Phoebe was a very complex woman. Many would've labeled her crazy. But through layers and layers of grins, witty comebacks and dangerous lifestyles, lay an insecure young woman, still doubtful of her own worth.
Her powers had come in a very weak point in her life. Running from her past in New York, returning to a place where she knew she wasn't welcome, looking for a brighter future, adapting to roommates who viewed her as a nuisance--- the weight of responsibility falling on her fragile shoulders all too suddenly, consuming her time, covering her uncertainties, hiding them from sight.
And her life had become a roller coaster, never stopping, never ending, never giving her time to breathe. Never once did she stop and try to come to terms with what she was carrying inside...
Hell, she probably had more emotional baggage than Cole himself!.
She had always been the youngest, the black sheep in the family, the prodigal daughter who never completely repented of her sins. She had never had a mother to nurture her... lost her at the tender age of three, so young, so naive, so impressionable.
Penny Halliwell had been too consumed in her own pain, in her own loss, to realize she was loosing her youngest grandchild--- to life nonetheless. And she came to her senses too late, when the damage was already done.
And now--- when things were looking up, when it finally seemed she would have time to heal, her life took another turn, and left her dazed and lost in the process.
And the low self-esteem, hidden behind sassy attitudes and rude comments resurfaced with a vengeance.
The Source didn't even need to twist her thoughts... they became twisted on their own. Oh, the wonders of having a conscience. It was a demon's best friend, when it came to undermining someone's self confidence to the point of insanity.
"Blood Link. We will share blood. And you will become powerful. Powerful enough to get your revenge".
She hadn't really thought of revenge. She just wanted to forget. Maybe, the Source could give her what she so longed for.
Peace. Maybe in the darkness, she could find peace.
The Light had sure as hell brought her nothing but pain!.
But when he mentioned it, something ignited in her. Emotional scars had been accumulating for the
past three years, and they were just *screaming* for a way out. And with Phoebe's first, little hesitation, they slipped right through the crack in her armor, and presented her with a whole new different point of view.
Why settle for acceptance, when she could make them pay?.
All of them, one by one--- the idea seemed more appealing by the second. Piper, with her I'm-wholier-than-thou attitude; Leo, with his weak temper and dull conversation; Paige, with the life Phoebe so longed to have; and Cole---
Oh yes, revenge sounded nice indeed.
And things became clear to her, as the Source spoke. She could have her revenge--- she would make them pay for their betrayal. She could make them suffer, like she was suffering now. All the pain she had endured, all the torture she had had to abide--- for *them* nonetheless!. She would send it back to them.
No more doubts clouded her mind, no more questions pestered her thoughts. Only one thing remained constant, in the sizzling whirlwind of change than overcame her.
Payback.
Revenge is a dish best served cold, they say. Oh she would wait. She would wait all right. As soon as her daughter was born, she would resurface, and make them pay.
Because little Prue was an innocent. She had never done her any wrong... and it would only be her and her Prue, together, against the demon and the witch.
She raised her cold, dead eyes up to the demon looming over her. And even such an old, ancient evil like the Source himself, shivered slightly at the hatred he saw in them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
"Do it".
He was surprised she had actually accepted. Something told him it wasn't just Belthazor's betrayal--- whatever had possessed her to accept, had been cooking for a long time. Belthazor was just the last straw.
Still reeling with the heady taste of victory, he nodded slowly.
He took her soft hand in his own. A long, black fingernail came forward, so long, so vicious, that just by looking at it, Phoebe trembled in fear. Almost like a caress, he drew his fingernail over her palm. She did not even flinch when her soft skin parted under the pressure, and hot, red blood gushed out.
A thin red line.
Detached, she wondered if that wasn't a movie title...
She watched, unmoving, as he did the same. His own red skin mixed with his blood, welcoming it... funny, she never though the Source would bleed red. Only half demons do.
She had learnt *that* much from the bastard.
And it was information that would one day come in handy.
"My Blood".
His whisper was low and strained, almost draining...
And Phoebe somehow knew what she had to say. The words rolled off her mouth, slid through her tongue, and she let them, she welcomed them, she embraced them---
"*My* blood".
She raised her hand, the red droplets shinning in the candlelight, almost like wine...
He lowered his, his hand so much bigger than hers---
Their hands touched, and their palms fused, and their blood mixed.
"Our blood".
And lightning cracked, and black light emerged from their fused hands, and darkened the room even further. And Phoebe had to close her eyes at the onslaught of power that took hold of her.
It itched at first. Quickly, the itch grew, creeping up from her hand and into her arm, through her neck and into her heart. It was like sticking her finger in a socket--- strange, and unsettling... but addictive.
Her eyes rolled on the back of her head, and just before she passed out, she heard the Source gasping for breath, as the contact broke, and the link was established.
Because he had never thought it would take this much energy to bond with her. But now he had, and there were consequences to be paid.
For both of them.
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Leo trusted Cole. Ever since he had risked his life to safe Piper, throwing himself in the way for bounty hunters to take him to the Source, his doubts had been erased and his trust earned.
Saving his wife scored as the highest in his list.
That was why he didn't care about the touchy-feely way they behaved around each other since--- Phoebe. It still hurt to think about it. Really, he did not care at all. Well, maybe a little.
He remembered as Piper had gone upstairs, and locked herself up in Phoebe's room. It wasn't until they came out together, long hours later, that he realized Cole had been in there too.
The fact that his arm was around Piper's waist struck him as odd at first.
When they hugged each other good night, he began worrying.
After all, Cole had this whole 'tall, dark and handsome' thing going on, and he *knew* for a fact women liked that. And he also knew he couldn't compete with that. He found the 'not-so-tall, light and cute' category fitted him better.
But throughout his years as a Whitelighter, Leo had seen how people dealt with pain. And he clearly remembered as Piper had recoiled under his touch when Prue had been killed. The fact that he had confirmed Phoebe's death had probably hurt Piper's psyche much more than she let herself know.
So he let it slide, and squashed the little green bug of jealousy that reared his head whenever Cole approached his wife.
Because he knew Cole was hurting too.
Could see it in his eyes, haunted and cloudy, ever since Phoebe had---
It didn't feel right. It just didn't feel right. Phoebe and death in the same sentence. Phoebe and party. Phoebe and fun. Heck, even Phoebe and sex. But even the idea of the feisty, energetic woman he had grown to love as his own sister, laying somewhere, cold, unmoving, *dead* felt wrong.
But the Elders had confirmed it.
And now the Power of Three had been broken again. And this time, there was no hope at reconstituting it.
And the thought scared him more than he could bear.
As he lay in bed, Piper's warm body seeking his own in her sleep, as she dared not do when awake, he asked whomever may be listening if their life was cursed.
There was never a moment to breathe. To relax.
Pain and death, and sorrow and betrayal came one after the other, unforgiving, unmerciful--- never-ending. And there was only so much someone could handle before they broke.
What would become of the sisters?. What would become of *them*?. Of two powerful witches, who have broken every *single* rule in the Universe; of the tortured half-demon who had defied all the laws of Nature, and fallen for a Witch?; and of a whitelighter who dared fall in love *and* marry one of them?.
He sighed, and wished none of this had happened. But wishing just didn't cut it anymore.
Because their lives were broken. And there was little hope in mending them back together.
But one thought remained in his mind, as he drifted off to sleep.
'two powerful witches, a half-demon and a whitelighter'
And a plan began taking shape in his head, even as his mind shut down.
He would sleep on it, all right.
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TBc....
AN2: Before you start flaming me, read this: throughout the series, I've always seen Phoebe as a very--- well, a very complex woman. With a past like hers, and then her destiny thrust in her face, she has never had the time to really adjust to it.
No one changes like that without some serious inner conflict. And the 'Charmed' writers have let us see some glimpses of that, in 'Is there a Woggie in the house?', for example. I truly believed she struggles with herself every day, and I just that to my advantage in here.
As to why she gave in... Phoebe has always been the sister most prone to crossing over, IMHO. I mean, Piper has way too many attachments to the real world, Prue did whatever she felt like doing, and just didn't take orders, and Paige--- well, Paige is new to this thing, and hasn't had the chance to get a feel of what evil is like.
But Phoebe has always struggled with both side... refer to 'Hell hath no fury', 'Morality Bites', 'Bride & Gloom' and many, many other episodes in which she tilts to the other side. Evil is alluring, in Prue's words. And Phoebe likes danger, we all know that, don't we?.
Email me, and we can make a whole debate out of this!! :p
If you still don't believe me, just--- blame the Source for it. He went into Phoebe's head, and presented her with atractive visions of what she could do if she gave in.
BTW, I'm assuming the Source bleeds red, since he did in 'Brain Drain', when he he was in a human form. Probably bleed blu or something, but for the purpouse of this story, he will bleed red. Oh, did anyone else notice how Cole's wanna-be (the black demon from 'Black as Cole') bled red too?. How's that?. How many half-demons can there be anyway?.
by Lilian
lilian413@yahoo.com
AN: Chapter 4 already, oh my!. And this is all because of all the wonderful reviewers who have given me their wonderful comments, and to whom this story is dedicated to!!.
The more you review, the more I write!. I swear, just reading your beautiful words makes want to write faster and faster... I'm a praise-addict, I think! :p
To Barb, who anwered my questions, and without whom this chapter would taste different.
******************************
The brat wasn't going to make it. And neither would the Witch. He would loose both of them, taken away by incompatible physiologies.
And the Source knew it.
He could sometimes look into the future, only glimpses through his head, but he had seen what might have happened.
If the child came to term, the witch would die.
During birth, the brat would drain her mother dry, her power too strong for her weak human body to hold. The Witch would die during labor, if not sooner. And he would loose his chance at gaining a new type of soldier.
He would have none of that.
He had been raking his brain for the past few days, trying to stop it. To save it. And he had
come up with a solution.
He would need to bond with the Witch. Share his blood with her, making her stronger, fitter, and more powerful. Through their link, he would be able to slip tiny amounts of power, changing her, shaping her up, making her fit to give birth to a whole new race of demons.
And in the meantime, giving her new powers. Active ones.
What use was a demonic hit man with no powers that can kill?.
He could feel the child's power already--- it was like a halo that surrounded her wherever she went. It was intoxicating. It rippled, and waved, and oozed, heralding a new breed so powerful, it would make any other demon obsolete.
Maybe Belthazor hadn't been a *complete* waste of time.
Still, it disgusted him to no end, the idea of bonding with a Witch. But the brat--- the brat would be worth it. He knew she would. Still, he had his doubts.
If he bonded to the Witch, sharing his blood with her, it would bind them together.
Although she would probably ignore the consequences, and remain oblivious to the connection, the Source was still hesitant.
Demon-to-demon bonding wasn't unusual on itself. Comrades in arms did it all the time, whether they knew it or not. But demon-to-witch, and especially demon-to-Charmed-one... it was a totally different concept.
On the other hand, if he did go through with it, he would be able to completely control her. With his blood running through her system, he would slowly gain complete control of her psyche. Which on itself was a good thing, considering the possibilities of the Witch's sisters of trying to turn her back.
Intelligent witches were scarce these days. That's why they had had such success in killing them. If he did go through with the bonding, she would become smarter, somehow gaining part of the knowledge he had acquired throughout the ages.
Another drawback.
Was he willing to risk thousands of years worth of work, of power, for one hybrid?. For one little crossbreed, wailing, newborn and useless for the first years of her life?.
To his surprise, he found himself saying yes.
It would be worth it.
Who knew what powers the brat would possess. Levitation, shimmering, energy balls, premonitions-- and all the others possibilities that still remained unexplored. Fire balls, time freezing, deflection, telekinesis, energy drains, blinking, morphing--- the list was endless.
And all to his service.
Once the brat was born, he would have two mighty warriors at his disposal. Mother and Child, working for *him*. For Evil.
It totally blew away the cons' side of the scale.
Totally.
But first, he needed her to be willing. And Belthazor had just given him the perfect chance to accomplish that.
Through their link, he had watched with interest as he kissed the Eldest Charmed One. And even he had to admit the half-breed was cunning. Barely days after his Witch went missing, and he was already trying to bed another one of them!.
He floated over to where the Witch lay, her eyes weary and tired. He noticed how her fingers absently scratched his mark on her. It was through there that he would enter, and through there he would control.
Scratch as she might, that mark would never fade. It was more than her skin what he had burnt; it was her soul.
"What do you want now?".
As days went by, her voice changed. Her throat was raw, as she had abused it screaming for hours to no end. That, and the fact the air was different down here, thicker, making sounds travel differently.
Good. She was already adapting.
"Merely to show you something, my sweet".
Her eyes flashed with anger for a second, and Phoebe Halliwell shone through. But only for a second. It then receded into the back of her mind, tired and lonely.
"You never do something just for the pleasure of it. And stop 'sweeting' me. It's disgusting".
There was still fire in her. He would need that.
He had let her get away with most of what she said. Demons far more powerful than she would *ever* be, had died for less than that. But if it was one thing the Source was, it was patient.
And his time had come.
"Silence, Witch, and look".
He ran his long fingers up and down her cheeks, almost like a caress. Phoebe was too exhausted to push him away. That did not stop her from shivering in disgust. Every time he touched her it was--- revolting!. Her insides churned at his touch, and her mind shook, nauseated.
But this time, it was different. It wasn't just the sick thrill of making her squirm. This time, he wanted her to see what her precious Belthazor was doing, while she was trapped in the Underworld.
He sent the image through, and waited.
He need not wait long.
Phoebe's went glazed, as the image entered her brain. A lot like a premonition, she let it come forth, knowing resistance would be useless.
And what she saw, broke her heart.
Because she had already lost hope, but still kept his love as a lifeline.
But now, she didn't even have *that* to hold on to.
She watched helplessly as Cole kissed Piper. Her sister. Her beloved older sister. The one who she had confided to, the one she had trusted above them all. Piper. Piper and Cole. Kissing.
Kissing passionately.
In her own room, for crying out loud!.
She remained there, unmoving, waiting for the images to stop.
And she wondered whether the curse set upon her soul wasn't taking its effect on her. Because things just couldn't get any worse.
"Demonic love does not exist. It's only lust".
Cole had said those same words to her a long time ago. And when the Source whispered them in low tones, hushed and meaningful, she feared the truth they carried within them.
Because she now knew Cole did not love her.
"Finally. You understand now?".
She couldn't accept it. She couldn't nod at his words, even if she knew them to be right. She had just lost the one thing she still cared about... and lost it to her own sister.
Hopeless, her body crumbled under the pressure, loosing the confident stance she had carried for days now. Hanging on. Holding onto something she thought she had.
Love.
Love that never existed. Love that never was.
Gods, how could she have been so stupid?.
"I can make it better".
{You can?. You think you can just erase the breaking of my heart, the destruction of my faith?.
Believe me, you cannot. No one can. The only one who ever stood a chance at mending me is now in the arms of my sister...}.
To say she was in shock was a misunderstanding.
Phoebe was lost.
What's left when your family leaves you?. What can be done when your love betrays you?.
Her heart thundered in her ears, muffling her sobs. Was she really crying?. She couldn't feel tears on her cheeks--- but her eyes stung, burnt by the tears she wasn't shedding.
Her whole world had just collapsed in on her. Even when she had accepted the Source's blackmail, she had always kept her hopes high. Cole would save her. Cole would come for her. Her sisters would look for her, and come and rescue her.
It was that idea that kept her going, the certainty that somehow, Piper and Paige and Cole and Leo would find a way to release her from the Source's grasp.
But now--- now there was nothing left.
She felt herself falling, falling as she had fallen when Prue died. Because the floor had just vanished from under her feet, and there was nothing she could hold on to. Cole had been her rock, her strength in those dark days, still so painfully close. Piper was too immersed in her own pain, and Leo was busy consoling *her*... that left her alone. Alone to deal, to cope with a reality that had just slapped them in the face.
What was she supposed to do now?.
"I can make it better".
The Source hated repeating himself. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't had to do so in hundreds of years. When he spoke, demons and warlocks alike listened. But it seemed as if the Witch wasn't listening.
She seemed pretty damn gone, for him.
Her eyes vacant and lost, her eyes fixated on something he couldn't see. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to show that to her just now. Maybe he should've waited a little longer, until she was stronger...
He had seen, (and been the cause of) as humans crumbled under the weight of their own feelings. Had watched, laughing, as they went into depressions so low, he couldn't quite get the hang of them.
He sometimes forgot humans were different. That sadness could kill them faster than any disease could. That they sought happiness so hard, they sometimes missed it, even when it lay right under their noses.
Great!. He probably overloaded her brain too quickly. Ahhg!. He *hated* dealing with weaklings like these!.
"How?".
Her voice was low and hushed, as if she was speaking through clenched teeth. One look at her, and he realized she was.
Phoebe was a very complex woman. Many would've labeled her crazy. But through layers and layers of grins, witty comebacks and dangerous lifestyles, lay an insecure young woman, still doubtful of her own worth.
Her powers had come in a very weak point in her life. Running from her past in New York, returning to a place where she knew she wasn't welcome, looking for a brighter future, adapting to roommates who viewed her as a nuisance--- the weight of responsibility falling on her fragile shoulders all too suddenly, consuming her time, covering her uncertainties, hiding them from sight.
And her life had become a roller coaster, never stopping, never ending, never giving her time to breathe. Never once did she stop and try to come to terms with what she was carrying inside...
Hell, she probably had more emotional baggage than Cole himself!.
She had always been the youngest, the black sheep in the family, the prodigal daughter who never completely repented of her sins. She had never had a mother to nurture her... lost her at the tender age of three, so young, so naive, so impressionable.
Penny Halliwell had been too consumed in her own pain, in her own loss, to realize she was loosing her youngest grandchild--- to life nonetheless. And she came to her senses too late, when the damage was already done.
And now--- when things were looking up, when it finally seemed she would have time to heal, her life took another turn, and left her dazed and lost in the process.
And the low self-esteem, hidden behind sassy attitudes and rude comments resurfaced with a vengeance.
The Source didn't even need to twist her thoughts... they became twisted on their own. Oh, the wonders of having a conscience. It was a demon's best friend, when it came to undermining someone's self confidence to the point of insanity.
"Blood Link. We will share blood. And you will become powerful. Powerful enough to get your revenge".
She hadn't really thought of revenge. She just wanted to forget. Maybe, the Source could give her what she so longed for.
Peace. Maybe in the darkness, she could find peace.
The Light had sure as hell brought her nothing but pain!.
But when he mentioned it, something ignited in her. Emotional scars had been accumulating for the
past three years, and they were just *screaming* for a way out. And with Phoebe's first, little hesitation, they slipped right through the crack in her armor, and presented her with a whole new different point of view.
Why settle for acceptance, when she could make them pay?.
All of them, one by one--- the idea seemed more appealing by the second. Piper, with her I'm-wholier-than-thou attitude; Leo, with his weak temper and dull conversation; Paige, with the life Phoebe so longed to have; and Cole---
Oh yes, revenge sounded nice indeed.
And things became clear to her, as the Source spoke. She could have her revenge--- she would make them pay for their betrayal. She could make them suffer, like she was suffering now. All the pain she had endured, all the torture she had had to abide--- for *them* nonetheless!. She would send it back to them.
No more doubts clouded her mind, no more questions pestered her thoughts. Only one thing remained constant, in the sizzling whirlwind of change than overcame her.
Payback.
Revenge is a dish best served cold, they say. Oh she would wait. She would wait all right. As soon as her daughter was born, she would resurface, and make them pay.
Because little Prue was an innocent. She had never done her any wrong... and it would only be her and her Prue, together, against the demon and the witch.
She raised her cold, dead eyes up to the demon looming over her. And even such an old, ancient evil like the Source himself, shivered slightly at the hatred he saw in them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
"Do it".
He was surprised she had actually accepted. Something told him it wasn't just Belthazor's betrayal--- whatever had possessed her to accept, had been cooking for a long time. Belthazor was just the last straw.
Still reeling with the heady taste of victory, he nodded slowly.
He took her soft hand in his own. A long, black fingernail came forward, so long, so vicious, that just by looking at it, Phoebe trembled in fear. Almost like a caress, he drew his fingernail over her palm. She did not even flinch when her soft skin parted under the pressure, and hot, red blood gushed out.
A thin red line.
Detached, she wondered if that wasn't a movie title...
She watched, unmoving, as he did the same. His own red skin mixed with his blood, welcoming it... funny, she never though the Source would bleed red. Only half demons do.
She had learnt *that* much from the bastard.
And it was information that would one day come in handy.
"My Blood".
His whisper was low and strained, almost draining...
And Phoebe somehow knew what she had to say. The words rolled off her mouth, slid through her tongue, and she let them, she welcomed them, she embraced them---
"*My* blood".
She raised her hand, the red droplets shinning in the candlelight, almost like wine...
He lowered his, his hand so much bigger than hers---
Their hands touched, and their palms fused, and their blood mixed.
"Our blood".
And lightning cracked, and black light emerged from their fused hands, and darkened the room even further. And Phoebe had to close her eyes at the onslaught of power that took hold of her.
It itched at first. Quickly, the itch grew, creeping up from her hand and into her arm, through her neck and into her heart. It was like sticking her finger in a socket--- strange, and unsettling... but addictive.
Her eyes rolled on the back of her head, and just before she passed out, she heard the Source gasping for breath, as the contact broke, and the link was established.
Because he had never thought it would take this much energy to bond with her. But now he had, and there were consequences to be paid.
For both of them.
**********************
Leo trusted Cole. Ever since he had risked his life to safe Piper, throwing himself in the way for bounty hunters to take him to the Source, his doubts had been erased and his trust earned.
Saving his wife scored as the highest in his list.
That was why he didn't care about the touchy-feely way they behaved around each other since--- Phoebe. It still hurt to think about it. Really, he did not care at all. Well, maybe a little.
He remembered as Piper had gone upstairs, and locked herself up in Phoebe's room. It wasn't until they came out together, long hours later, that he realized Cole had been in there too.
The fact that his arm was around Piper's waist struck him as odd at first.
When they hugged each other good night, he began worrying.
After all, Cole had this whole 'tall, dark and handsome' thing going on, and he *knew* for a fact women liked that. And he also knew he couldn't compete with that. He found the 'not-so-tall, light and cute' category fitted him better.
But throughout his years as a Whitelighter, Leo had seen how people dealt with pain. And he clearly remembered as Piper had recoiled under his touch when Prue had been killed. The fact that he had confirmed Phoebe's death had probably hurt Piper's psyche much more than she let herself know.
So he let it slide, and squashed the little green bug of jealousy that reared his head whenever Cole approached his wife.
Because he knew Cole was hurting too.
Could see it in his eyes, haunted and cloudy, ever since Phoebe had---
It didn't feel right. It just didn't feel right. Phoebe and death in the same sentence. Phoebe and party. Phoebe and fun. Heck, even Phoebe and sex. But even the idea of the feisty, energetic woman he had grown to love as his own sister, laying somewhere, cold, unmoving, *dead* felt wrong.
But the Elders had confirmed it.
And now the Power of Three had been broken again. And this time, there was no hope at reconstituting it.
And the thought scared him more than he could bear.
As he lay in bed, Piper's warm body seeking his own in her sleep, as she dared not do when awake, he asked whomever may be listening if their life was cursed.
There was never a moment to breathe. To relax.
Pain and death, and sorrow and betrayal came one after the other, unforgiving, unmerciful--- never-ending. And there was only so much someone could handle before they broke.
What would become of the sisters?. What would become of *them*?. Of two powerful witches, who have broken every *single* rule in the Universe; of the tortured half-demon who had defied all the laws of Nature, and fallen for a Witch?; and of a whitelighter who dared fall in love *and* marry one of them?.
He sighed, and wished none of this had happened. But wishing just didn't cut it anymore.
Because their lives were broken. And there was little hope in mending them back together.
But one thought remained in his mind, as he drifted off to sleep.
'two powerful witches, a half-demon and a whitelighter'
And a plan began taking shape in his head, even as his mind shut down.
He would sleep on it, all right.
*******************************
TBc....
AN2: Before you start flaming me, read this: throughout the series, I've always seen Phoebe as a very--- well, a very complex woman. With a past like hers, and then her destiny thrust in her face, she has never had the time to really adjust to it.
No one changes like that without some serious inner conflict. And the 'Charmed' writers have let us see some glimpses of that, in 'Is there a Woggie in the house?', for example. I truly believed she struggles with herself every day, and I just that to my advantage in here.
As to why she gave in... Phoebe has always been the sister most prone to crossing over, IMHO. I mean, Piper has way too many attachments to the real world, Prue did whatever she felt like doing, and just didn't take orders, and Paige--- well, Paige is new to this thing, and hasn't had the chance to get a feel of what evil is like.
But Phoebe has always struggled with both side... refer to 'Hell hath no fury', 'Morality Bites', 'Bride & Gloom' and many, many other episodes in which she tilts to the other side. Evil is alluring, in Prue's words. And Phoebe likes danger, we all know that, don't we?.
Email me, and we can make a whole debate out of this!! :p
If you still don't believe me, just--- blame the Source for it. He went into Phoebe's head, and presented her with atractive visions of what she could do if she gave in.
BTW, I'm assuming the Source bleeds red, since he did in 'Brain Drain', when he he was in a human form. Probably bleed blu or something, but for the purpouse of this story, he will bleed red. Oh, did anyone else notice how Cole's wanna-be (the black demon from 'Black as Cole') bled red too?. How's that?. How many half-demons can there be anyway?.
