Thank you Soooo much for all of the reviews! I can't believe I got 18 reviews on that chapter. Some of you have reviewed so many of my chapters that I feel like we're friends. Thanks for staying with me, I really appreciate it. For those of you who are new, welcome! Thanks for taking the time to review. I hope you'll keep reviewing, because I LOVE reviews!

So, here's chapter 2.

Chapter 2: Starting over

10:35am

Tony walked quietly into the house he shared with Jen, a 23 year old waitress at one of the bars that he frequented. He tossed the CTU jacket he was still wearing onto the couch and his eyes drifted across the kitchen to the refrigerator. He was thinking about how cold the beer was and that it had been almost 20 hours since his last one. He started toward the kitchen and then stopped. No, he was starting over and that meant no beer. No alcohol, period. In fact, what he needed to do, besides get some sleep, was to go out running. He hadn't done that in almost two years and he was out of shape. That's what he would do. He would go out running, then take a shower and get a couple of hours of sleep and then pack.

He didn't have much to pack, so that shouldn't take very long. Almost everything in the house belonged to Jen. She could keep the couple of pieces of furniture that were his. He had already decided that he would take his clothes and his computer software and some books. He would box everything else up and have it shipped to him when he got settled. This afternoon he would stop at the bank and empty his paltry savings account. Lawyers' fees for his defense and later his divorce had taken most of it, but there was a little left from the sale of the house he and Michelle had owned. Then he would take his truck to the used car lot a couple of miles away and sell it. It wasn't worth much, but he would take what he could get for it. That, together with the money from the bank, would give him some cash to start out with.

He made his way into the bedroom. As expected, Jen was still asleep. Without turning on a light, Tony found a pair of running shorts and a clean tee shirt. He dressed in the bathroom, tied his house key to the drawstring of his shorts and left the house. He hadn't even run a mile when sweat was seeping through his shirt and he decided that it was time to head back, amazed at just how out of shape he was. At the same time, the run felt good. It allowed him to clear his mind and after the last 24 hours, that wasn't an easy thing to do. He was breathing deeply and stretching out his muscles. He would get back on a running program as soon as he got to Washington. Once he had a job and some disposable income, he would join a gym and start lifting weights again. Jack was right, he had come back to life in the last 24 hours and he was happy to be among the living again.

He went back into the house. Jen was standing in the kitchen in her bare feet wearing one of Tony's old shirts. She had just gotten out of the shower and her hair was still wet. Her legs were long and shapely beneath the shirt. She was a pretty girl but she had the hard look of someone who had been forced to fend for herself from an early age. Tony couldn't help but think that she could have done better in life if anyone had ever really cared about her. She had been out on her own since she was 17. Jen was an emotional orphan, much like Tony. The difference was that Tony had chosen to orphan himself. He had pushed everyone away, his friends, his family, his wife. Jen, on the other hand, had family that she wished would love and care for her, but they never came through. Her mother was always too busy going from relationship to relationship hoping to find happiness. Her father was no where to be found. He skipped town years ago when he found out that Jen's mother was pregnant for the fourth time. Jen was only five and that was the last she saw him. Her brothers and sister were as lost as she. Her brothers dabbled in drugs and other illegal activities. Her younger sister had two kids already. The first one was born when she was only 15.

Jen looked up at the sound of the door opening. "Jesus Christ! Where the fuck have you been? I sat up half the night waiting for you. I called every bar I could think of. I even called the police to see if you had been arrested or were in an accident. You scared the shit out of me, Tony." Jen tried to sound mad, but the truth was that she was relieved.

She knew that Tony had a drinking problem, but she also knew that if he could manage to get past it, he had a lot of potential; far more potential than the other drunks who slobbered over her and pawed her at the bar. Tony was so polite and well spoken. Even when he was drinking he was nice to her. Sex with him was great. He took time with her. He wasn't like those guys who just shoved themselves inside of her and gave her a minute or two of attention until they came. Tony was careful with her and seemed to want her to enjoy herself. She knew deep down that he still loved his ex-wife, but he still made her feel loved. He never acted as if she was just another screw; as if he just needed a fuck. Even though that was probably the truth, he never made her feel that way.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

Jen reached in the refrigerator for a beer and handed it to him.

"No, thanks," he told her. She looked surprised. That was the first time she had ever known of him to turn down a beer. "Is there any orange juice in there?"

Jen reached back into the refrigerator and handed him the juice carton. "So where were you?" she asked. "A lot of bad shit happened yesterday. I saw a picture of that friend of yours, Jack Bauer, on the news. I was afraid that you might be with him. I was afraid that you would get hurt. Were you with him?"

"Yeah, I helped him for a while out in the field. Then we went back to CTU and I spent the rest of the day working there." Tony poured the juice in a tall glass.

"You were working? Are they going to pay you? We could use the money."

"Jack will make sure that I'm compensated," Tony said as he drank down the orange juice in one long drink. He refilled the glass with water and drank that as well. "Look, Jen, a lot has changed since yesterday. I've changed since yesterday."

"What do you mean?"

"I realized that I'm wasting my life. I need to get a job and start over. I need to stop drinking."

"I get the feeling that 'starting over' means that you're dumping me."

"I'm not 'dumping you', Jen." He looked down. His voice was soft and gently. "We both know that this relationship was never going to go anywhere. The truth is that I was using you. That was wrong. I never meant to hurt you, I was just too drunk most of the time to see what I was doing."

Jen felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying. She rarely cried, having learned as a child that it didn't get her anywhere.

"Jen, I'm sorry," Tony whispered. He was standing close to her and he pushed some hair out of her face. She swatted his hand away and blinked back the tears.

"So, where are you planning to go and live rent free this time?" Jen asked coldly. She quickly put up her hard exterior shell. It was like raising a force field. If she played tough, no one would really know that she was hurting.

Tony ignored her remark. The point was well made. He hadn't paid her any rent. The only work he had done in the last few months had been some computer work for several of the bars where he drank. Occasionally they paid him in cash, but they usually paid him in free drinks and cases of beer, so he rarely had any money to contribute to household expenses.

"Jack has some contacts back in Washington. They think they can get me a job."

Jen let down her guard again. She hated the idea of losing Tony. He was the nicest guy she had ever met. "You know, I don't have any real ties here. I could move to Washington. I'm sure I could get a job there. I mean, they have bars there. I could get a job as a waitress." She was desperate now almost pleading with him. Tony had shown her the only real love she had ever known. Even if it wasn't real love for him, it was for her and that was close enough.

"Jen, I'm sorry. I have to do this on my own. I have to make a clean break from LA, from my past. As soon as I get a job and get settled, I'll send you some money to pay you back for all the months of rent and food." He squeezed her shoulder gently and moved past her toward the bedroom. "Jen, you could do better for yourself. Take some courses at junior college. You could get a nice job as a secretary some place where you wouldn't have drunks putting their hands all over you. Maybe you could meet someone nice and really settle down."

"I thought I had," she shouted at him. Tears streaked her face. Tony had never seen her cry before. "I thought you were the nice guy I was going to settle down with. I know it was just some kind of stupid fantasy, but I really thought it could happen."

Tony closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered again as he went into the bathroom to take a shower.

While Tony was in the shower, Jen dressed and went out. It was too early to go to work, she wasn't sure where she was going, but she wasn't hanging around waiting to say goodbye to Tony.

Michelle was walking into her apartment around the same time that Tony was going out for his run. Unlike Tony, who suddenly had enough energy for two people and actually found himself looking forward to the future, Michelle was exhausted and so depressed that she almost wished that the world could just end now. She was hungry and wanted a shower but was too tired to do either. So, she dragged herself back to the bedroom and sat sullenly on the edge of the bed. It was a few minutes before she could bring herself to undress and wash up and crawl between the covers. She lay there for a long time, tired but unable to sleep. Even with the blinds drawn the room was too light for her to sleep. Besides, her mind was too full, too busy for her to sleep. So she just lay still, trying to rest and allowing her thoughts to drift aimlessly through her brain.

The thoughts were disjointed and made little sense. They flitted around like a butterfly in a flower bed settling for a second or two here and there. She thought of Tony and the angry words they had exchanged. She remembered overruling him when Jack and Paul were at McLennan-Forster. A second later she was thinking of Bill and how caring he had been that morning. She remembered watching helplessly as Air Force One fell from the sky. Each thought was fleeting; not lasting more than a few seconds but each seemed so real and played out so vividly in those seconds. Michelle didn't have the strength or the willpower to put them in any order or to try and make sense of them. She pressed her face into her pillow as if that might make them all stop. Instead they seemed to get worse. They were no longer just about the last day but extended beyond to the last few years, her wedding and all of the happiness followed by Tony's arrest and all of the pain that came with it.

Michelle sat up abruptly unable to lie there any longer. She pushed the covers away and went to the kitchen. Her bare feet padded across the tile floor to the refrigerator where she pulled out a carton of orange juice. She poured a couple of ounces, spiked it with a heavy shot of vodka and threw it back quickly. She followed that drink with a second. The drink hit her empty stomach, made a brief attempt to settle there and then nearly exploded. Within seconds she was in the bathroom vomiting. When she was finished, she stepped into the shower. The water was cold but she made no attempt to warm it up. Afterward, she dragged herself back to bed and collapsed naked on top of it. Her wet hair lay on her shoulders making her shiver, but she didn't have the strength to get under the covers. She wasn't sure what she would do next. All she knew was that she couldn't continue to live this way. Tony had said his final goodbye to her this morning. He was leaving for Washington sometime tomorrow and he would take her heart with him.

12:19 pm

Tony showered and shaved and got dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a sport shirt. For a change, he actually gave a damn how he looked. He slipped on the CTU jacket and went out to run his errands. He went to the bank and then sold his truck and walked the couple of miles back home. As he did, he found himself looking forward to going to Washington and working again.

He got home and started to pack. He knew that he should take a couple of hours and get some rest, but he was too excited to sleep. Jack had called and said that Audrey was leaving for Australia at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning. The Secretary of Defense's plane was scheduled to take off for Washington around 9:30. A car would be at Tony's house to pick him up by 8 o'clock.

Tony opened his closet and started to pack his clothes. He hadn't worn anything but old jeans and tee shirts for the past several months. He had to dig to the back of the closet to find his good clothes. He carefully packed his suits, followed by sports jackets and shirts and dress pants. Jeans and khakis and other casual clothes went into another bag. He kept out a navy blue sports jacket, a light blue button down shirt and khaki pants for the trip to Washington. Everything fit nicely into three suitcases.

It was almost 8 o'clock by the time he went to work packing his software and some other items into a couple of boxes. As he did he came across several pictures of Michelle. They had been taken in Golden Gate Park when the two were on a weekend trip to San Francisco. Michelle smiled at the camera as she stood in the Japanese Tea Garden. She was dressed casually in a crocheted sleeveless sweater and pair of flax colored linen Capri pants and matching jacket. Her windblown curls shone in the sun and her smile was big and genuine. They had been so happy that weekend. Just two weeks later Tony found himself handcuffed and charged with treason. He stared at the pictures and ran his finger across her lips as if she was there and he was actually touching her. Maybe Jack was right, he thought. Maybe he should call her and tell her how he felt, that he still loved her. He certainly had nothing to lose. She had already left him broken hearted. What more could she do to him? He reached for his phone and started to dial her number.

He had punched in the number and was just about to hit "send" when he stopped himself. Michelle had had every opportunity yesterday and even this morning when he said goodbye to her to tell him that she still cared and she hadn't done it. Tony turned off his phone and set it on the kitchen counter. This is a waste of time, he thought.

"I have to stop loving you," he whispered aloud. "I'll drive myself crazy if I don't." He looked at the pictures one more time and closed his eyes for a second as if burning the images in front of him into his brain. Then he opened his eyes and tore the pictures to shreds.

8:30 pm

Michelle wasn't sure when, but at some point she must have fallen asleep. She awoke with a start, cold and disoriented in her dark bedroom. She had been dreaming that she was on Air Force One as the missile exploded. Her heart was pounding and it took a second for her to realize that it was all just a dream.

She lay still for a moment assessing the situation. Her mind had finally calmed down and she seemed to be able to put together a string of coherent thoughts. First of all, she was hungry. She couldn't remember when she had last eaten anything substantial but thought that it was probably breakfast yesterday. Once she ate she needed to address her second concern: what to do about Tony. She was at a crossroads and she needed to make a decision soon. Tony would leave LA within the next day and she had to decide whether or not to tell him how she felt.

She got out of bed and put on a pair of flannel lounge pants and a camisole and made her way to the kitchen. She opened her perpetually empty refrigerator and, as usual, found little there. Yogurt seemed appetizing. The choice was strawberry or key lime. She could still taste bile in her throat and thought the key lime would be better for getting rid of that. The yogurt was good, but not enough. She needed something else. After opening several empty cupboards she finally decided on Cheerios. She went back to the refrigerator and opened the milk carton. It still smelled fresh enough, so that settled it. Dinner tonight would be key lime yogurt and Cheerios with milk. Her mother would be appalled. Mom's idea of dinner included a meat, a starch and at least two vegetables. Oh well, this would just have to do. She considered topping the Cheerios with banana slices, but the banana on the counter looked like it should have been eaten about a week ago.

Michelle sat at the kitchen table eating Cheerios and thinking seriously about what she should do next. She couldn't deny the fact that she loved Tony. The question was: Did she want to tell him and risk his rejecting her anyway? She had left him and filed for divorce when she simply could not live with his drinking and his silence any more. But she knew when she did it that he still loved her. That was months ago, she had no way of knowing how he felt now, but by the way he acted yesterday, she had to assume that he no longer cared. Despite that, she wanted him to know the truth.

She found her phone and turned it on. There were three messages: two from Bill and one from her mother. All three were just checking to see how she was. She would call them back later. She deleted the messages and dialed Tony's number. Although she hadn't called him in months, it was still committed to memory. The phone rang once and went to voice mail. Michelle stared at the phone for a second and then disconnected. If his phone was turned off then he didn't want to talk to anyone and that included her. She wasn't prepared to leave a message; she wasn't sure what to say, so she just hung up.

She set the phone on the kitchen table and went into her den and turned on the television. The coverage of the last two days events was constant and on every channel. Death tolls from the train wreck, damage assessments at San Gabriel Island and the President's condition were all anyone was talking about. Michelle watched knowing that the press was being given only limited information. The whole truth was more than the American public could take right now, so only bits and pieces of information were being supplied to the press. It was enough to keep them at bay for the time being. More details would come out as time passed but for now, the flow of information would be limited.

Michelle turned off the television and thought again about Tony. She considered what she would say if she decided to leave a message. Several thoughts came to mind and she slowly formulated a message which she rehearsed out loud several times. Each time she revised it slightly until she was thoroughly satisfied with it. Now it was just a matter of getting up the nerve to leave the message.

Her stomach now full, Michelle decided to have a glass of wine to help fortify herself. As she sipped the wine, she started to think about her other option; it was one she had thought about a lot over the last few months. She knew that Bill Buchanan cared deeply for her. He made his feelings known more than once. Bill was a wonderful man. He was older than Michelle by 15 years, but that never entered into her decision making process. As much as she liked him, he had come into her life at the wrong time. She was still trying to get over Tony when he asked her out. They went out a couple of times and, she had to admit, they enjoyed themselves. At the time she just wasn't ready for another relationship; she still wasn't over Tony. Now when she thought about it, she realized that she would probably never be over Tony, but it seemed that he might be over her. She remembered Bill's hug this morning and how good it felt. Maybe she should give Bill a second chance, if he would still have her.

Although she knew she shouldn't, she found herself comparing Bill and Tony. They were completely different personalities. Tony was fun-loving and the life of every party. He loved to tease and joke. He loved action movies and played any sport that involved a ball but preferred the contact sports. He was a natural at basketball and soccer. Bill, on the other hand, was quiet and mild mannered. He was an excellent golf and tennis player and preferred the theater to movies. They were both wonderful men, just very different.

Michelle squeezed her eyes shut. Her decision was made. She went to the kitchen to refill her wine glass and retrieve her phone.

"Here goes," she said out loud as she dialed the phone.

She was making the call now before her resolve left her. She felt as though she had lost everything at this point and it was time to try and salvage her life. At the moment, this seemed to be her best choice, and frankly, if it failed, she wasn't sure how she would handle it.