Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans™, You've Got Mail (starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan), or any of their respective characters. I also do not own the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. However, I do own this story in its non-profit entirety. Similarities to other works are merely coincidental.
Author's Note: The song I use in this chapter, "I Won't Say (I'm In Love)" is from the Disney movie Hercules. I do not own it; I got the lyrics off of Also, there are two different voices in this song—those of the reluctant girl (Meg, in the movie) and the appealers who are trying to convince her not to deny her feelings (the Muses). In this case, the girl is Raven and the appealers are her emotions, particularly Joy. The dialogue of her emotions is enclosed in hyphens.
Response To Reviews:
Palidin—I have a better idea. Put me on Author Alert, which is in the
dropdown menu where you review. You'll be emailed every time I submit a new
chapter.
Falling—Okay, I admit I wasn't exactly too clear on that. What I should have said is that a few days later Raven was well enough to rejoin her friends. Sorry, and thanks for asking me to clear that up!
gladdecease, Martson—Thank you. Yeah, I know that the Wicked Scary II is a popular plotline, but I decided it would be worth it. I know I wasn't really fluff heavy in the previous chapter, but even though romance is probably my best genre, I'm not particularly great at writing fluff.
Coolcatjas—OMG! Yes, the song from Hercules is the one I'm using, how did you know?
You've Got Mail!
Written By JMPchick
7. I Won't Say (I'm In Love)
Raven was in a state of shock.
No, shock wasn't strong enough to describe the plethora of feelings spinning around inside her. A hot red flush rose to her normally pale cheeks as she recalled the night. He was so warm, so nice to be next to…No! Calm yourself, Raven, the half-demon thought nervously. You're not supposed to feel.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she breathed, floating a few inches off of her bed. Her mind sluggishly began to clear, battering away her disgruntled and stubborn emotions. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion—"
Joy, her pink-cloaked emotion of happiness, suddenly darted out from the firm clutches of calm and sensible Knowledge to shout, -You can't deny it anymore, Rae!-
:TT:
Flashback
"The movie was terrifyingly creepy!" Starfire cried, elated and petrified at the same time. She gripped Robin's hand tightly. Robin didn't seem to mind. "It was magnificent, friends Beast Boy and Cyborg!"
"Yeah," added Robin, in an effort to remain in the conversation and not lose himself in Star-gazing.
Beast Boy grinned shrewdly, raising his eyebrows at Cyborg, who tried to stifle his laughter. Raven rolled her eyes and glided off to her room, ready to sleep. Before she reached her much-desired destination, however, the green changeling darted in front of her. How did he get here? Raven wondered in astonishment as she instinctively sidestepped him. He moved in front of her again.
Losing patience because she was tired, she snapped, "What do you want?"
Beast Boy sweat-dropped visibly. "Um, nothing."
She narrowed her eyes and remarked, "You're really quite a horrible liar."
He hung his head, the 'defenseless' image of defeat, although his voice remained as whiny and cocky. "You're right."
Raven stepped to the left, and he blocked her again. "What do you really want, Beast Boy?" she asked irritably. "I want to go to bed."
"Erm…I was wondering if I could say goodnight? Sleep tight? Don't let the bedbugs bite?"
Raven raised an eyebrow. "So why didn't you just call from your room or something much more convenient? Are you going to stand there all night refusing me entrance to my own private chamber?" Finally, we get to the point.
"I—um—wanted it to be more personal? You know, you're always there for us, Rae. I know you care a lot, and we really appreciate it," he said in a rush. Somehow, Raven found that he was implying that 'us' really meant him. "It's great to have you as a friend, and…uh…thanks," he finished lamely.
"You're welcome, then," she said coolly. "Now, could you move please?"
"Not yet," Beast Boy said hastily. Say what you have to say, do what you have to do. And fast! He slipped a hand in hers and pecked her on the cheek. Then he backed away, guard up, and practically fled down the hallway, shouting, "Good night!"
End Flashback
:TT:
Raven tentatively prodded the still-warm spot on her cheek where his lips had touched, as if afraid even of herself. No, she scolded determinedly, the last time you felt this way, you were betrayed…and hurt. Stop before you get in too far. You don't want this to turn into another Malchior, do you? Besides, Beast Boy still loves Terra…right?
If there's a prize for rotten judgment
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!
-Who'd ya think
you're kiddin'?
He's the earth and heaven to you!
Try to keep it hidden,
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, you can't conceal it
We know how you feel and
Who you're thinkin' of-
No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no
-You swoon, you
sigh
Why deny it, uh-oh-
It's too cliché,
I won't say I'm in love
Raven distractedly strolled over to her wide window seat and sat down, gazing out at the stars but not truly seeing them. They were too reminiscent of Malchior's lying blue eyes, and she would not be taken in so falsely again. She recalled, for what seemed the umpteenth time, her fury and hurt at the staggering discovery—the wizard she thought she loved was a dragon, and a terribly wicked one at that, and everything he'd said was a lie, the spells he taught her were Dark magic, he didn't really love her….
I thought my heart
had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screamin', get a grip, girl
Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out
Oh
Raven rose and went over to her cherry-wood bureau and opened a thick navy book: Her photo album, her documentation of her time spent among the Titans. She thumbed through it, past the barbecue where Star discovered her passion for mustard, past the wild winter day when they went sledding and she was holding nervously onto Beast Boy's waist, and Cyborg was half-flung into a snowdrift when he poked at her apprehension…she paused and studied the photograph for a moment and tried to remember the day….
:TT:
Flashback
"No," Raven said sternly. "No, I refuse. You can't make me." She was the only Titan not bundled up in spite of the cold. Azarathians were immune to even the iciest temperatures.
"Awww, c'mon, Raven, pleeeaaase?" Beast Boy begged, mittens clasped before him in a juvenile plea. "You can ride with me, come on!"
"Come on, Rae, we know you're just afraid," said Cyborg tactfully. Like Robin, she could never resist being called scared, and he knew it.
You keep on
denyin'
Who you are and how you're feelin'
Baby, we're not buyin'
Hon, we saw you hit the ceilin'!
Face it like a
grown-up
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad-
No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no
"I am not afraid," said Raven stoutly. Awkwardly, she clambered onto Beast Boy's green sled, and he hopped on in front of her.
"Hold on tight." Beast Boy grinned, and Starfire pushed them down the hill with the force of a bullet. Before she knew it, she was screaming in harmony with the changeling.
End Flashback
:TT:
Raven gripped her head, attempting vainly to cage and subdue her meddlesome emotions, but they put up a stronger resistance than she had expected.
Listen to me, Raven,- called Timid, -don't be afraid of love. Accept it with open arms. Don't make any mistakes you'll regret later.-
Yeah,- echoed Brave. –Listen to the girl in gray.-
And the girl in pink!- piped up Joy.
Raven cut the connection hurriedly, focusing on the photograph as a barrier between herself and her mind. Her expression softened as her gaze fell on Beast Boy, who had been captured as laughing. She ran a finger lightly over him, and then turned her attention to herself, her self-in-the-picture. Her lilac orbs were wide with surprise and twinkling with…merriment? Confused, her examination of the past returned to Beast Boy, and her finger touched his cheek fondly. She stopped when she caught herself smiling affectionately.
-Give up, but give
in
Check the grin, you're in love-
This scene won't play
I won't say I'm in love!
-You're doin'
flips, read our lips
You're in love!-
Raven closed the album and readied herself for bed. Her thoughts wandered to how she felt about each of the Titans. Starfire was a sister, Robin was the leader, Cyborg was an older brother, but what was Beast Boy?
Beast Boy was a friend.
No, she found herself thinking, I want him to be more than a friend. In self-disgust, she swiftly tried to stifle the thought, but unsuccessfully.
Gotcha!- Joy called triumphantly.
Shut up,- said Raven.
You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it
Raven rubbed her temples and walked over to her bed, tucking herself in. All this reflection had worn her out.
-Girl, don't be
proud
It's okay you're in love-
Raven rolled over, and felt a sudden surge of love in the room next door. Starfire's room. She smiled and said, "So I wasn't the only one who got a goodnight kiss." She touched the daisy Beast Boy had given her, which was resting on her bedside table. Her eyes closed peacefully and she reconciled herself to the truth.
At least out loud
I won't say I'm in love
TWENTY-EIGHT reviews! Yay! Thanks again to my reviewers!
P.S.—Another bit of fluff. I think it was better than my last really pathetic chapter. Still, I got rave reviews, so thanks again!
JMPchick
