Wow! I was overwhelmed by the reviews for the last chapter. It definitely evoked some strong emotions. At this point, virtually everyone hates Bill (not necessarily what I planned). And the abortion issue is hot. One reviewer wants Michelle to have an abortion immediately, while another said she'll stop reading if Michelle has an abortion. Still another is fundamentally opposed to abortion but wonders what she would do given the same situation. When I wrote this, I simply set out to offer a little diversion from reality and am surprised that I have struck as many nerves as I have. To tell the truth, I wrote this on a whim and I don't even think that it is my best story!

Regardless of what you think, please keep reading and reviewing. I love to hear your opinions.

Chapter 6: A Long Night

Michelle fought the rush hour traffic and finally reached the beach. It was virtually deserted by that hour. A hot dog vendor was packing up for the day. Michelle suddenly realized that she hadn't eaten anything all day and she was ravenous. It occurred to her that she had a baby inside of her that was depending on her for food, so she stopped and bought a hot dog, a bag of chips and a bottle of water. Not exactly nutritious, but it would do for now. She walked along a sea wall and nibbled on the hot dog. She wasn't quite sure what made her think about the baby's nutrition. She really didn't plan on carrying the baby much longer. She pushed that thought away and walked toward the rocky area that she and Tony loved.

As she walked, she listened to the surf pounding the shore. The spring air was cool as the sun moved lower in the sky. Three kids were flying kites on the beach. She watched them run along as the kites became airborne. They were laughing and shouting.

"Mine's higher than yours!" shouted a girl.

"Is not," was the response.

"Is so!" the girl shouted back. "Mom! Isn't mine higher?"

A couple sat on a blanket nearby. Each was reading a book but took time every few seconds to look up at the children. Occasionally they spoke to each other or called out to one of the children to "be careful" or "watch where you're going". Otherwise they were quiet, just enjoying the evening.

Michelle finally reached the outcropping of rocks. She climbed onto a low one and sat down. It was still warm from the afternoon sun. The clouds and the setting sun were making amazing colors in the sky and reflecting them on the water. It was an awesome sight. What a miracle it all was that the sun should rise and set every day and that the tide should roll in and out like clockwork. She looked at a rock formation and thought that it, too, was a miracle. The water had carved it by pounding it year after year for centuries. Not all miracles were as big or as noticeable. That two incomplete cells could have come together inside of her to create a baby was certainly a miracle.

Again she pushed any thought of the baby out of her head. Don't get attached to it, she thought. She couldn't think about the baby right now. At this moment what she really needed to think about was what to do next. She would have to move out of Bill's house as soon as possible. Where would she stay until she could find a place of her own? She could stay with her parents, but she'd rather die than move back in with them. She could move into a hotel for a couple of weeks, but that would get expensive. Kate Warner probably has extra room, she thought. No, Kate was still friends with Jack and would tell him that she moved out of Bill's house. Anything that Kate told Jack was likely to get back to Tony. Maybe she could stay with one of her other friends, but none of them really had room for a house guest.

Okay, she would think about where to live later. What was she going to do about work? How could she keep working at Division with Bill there? She wondered if there were any openings at CTU or District. Maybe she could leave LA; start over some place else.

It was all so confusing. Thoughts and ideas swirled around in her head. It was almost nine o'clock and the sun had set. The air was cooler and she pulled her jacket around her and buttoned it for warmth. The rock was no longer warm so she climbed down off of it and sat in the sand at its base where it shielded her from the wind. She leaned against the rock wishing that she had someone to talk to. She had plenty of friends but none that she wanted to talk to at the moment. None that she wanted to explain her situation to. There was only one person that she wanted to talk to right now. The only person that she ever felt she could completely open up to: Tony.

It was almost midnight on the east coast, but Tony had always been a night owl. She knew that he was probably awake watching a late night talk show or a recap of the day's sports. She took out her phone and looked through her list of numbers. She didn't know why she had programmed Tony's phone number into her phone. She never called him. Several months ago she got his office and cell numbers off of a listing of NSA employees and put them both into her phone. She rationalized it by telling herself that he was a liaison to the CIA and therefore she could have reason to call him some day. She looked at his number on the display for a long time and weighed her desire to keep her personal life secret from Tony against her desire to someone who really understood her. Twice she almost pressed "send" but stopped herself just short. Why was she calling Tony? She screwed up with him, left him and walked out. How was he going to help her right now? She closed the phone and put it back in her purse but not before noticing another four messages from Bill. Again she deleted them all without listening to any of them.

By 9 o'clock Bill was frantic. He had called everyone Michelle knew looking for her. He had spent the afternoon calling hospitals and abortion clinics. Hospitals could tell him that she hadn't been admitted as a patient but nothing more. Abortion clinics sited patient confidentiality and refused to say if she was there. A woman at one clinic seemed a bit flustered and Bill pushed her to tell him more, but she wouldn't. After that he put a trace on her credit and bank cards. If she tried to use them he would be alerted. At least then he would know where she was and that she was alright.

Bill sat at his desk at Division wondering what to do next. Michelle hadn't been gone long enough for the police to consider her a missing person. Besides that, she wasn't missing nearly as much as she didn't want to be found. Or more correctly, she didn't want him to find her.

God! How could I have been so stupid? Bill thought. What possessed me to try such a stupid trick? He had badly miscalculated. It never occurred to him that she would be so unhappy about being pregnant. Nor had it occurred to him that she would realize that he had planned the whole thing. Frankly, when he came up with the idea it didn't seem nearly so calculating or manipulative as it did right now. He loved Michelle so much that it hurt and now he had done something unforgivable. At this point he actually feared for her safety. She was so distraught when she left that she could have gone anywhere and done anything. Frankly, at the moment an abortion was the least of his worries.

Bill looked at his watch for the tenth time in the last half hour. He decided that it was time to call Michelle's parents and see if they had heard from her. This ought to be a pleasant conversation, he thought sarcastically. Michelle's parents had never been crazy about him. They were still upset with her for leaving Tony. It was a rift that had never fully been mended and Michelle's relationship with her parents had suffered over the last couple of years. The phone rang twice before Leslie Dessler answered.

"Hello."

"Leslie, it's Bill."

Leslie was instantly on alert. Michelle rarely called and Bill never did. "Oh, hi Bill. What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you had heard from Michelle today."

"No, not today. Why? Is something wrong?"

"We had an argument earlier and she walked out. I haven't been able to get in touch with her since. I thought maybe she called you or came over there."

"Oh, is that all! Bill she's done that for years. When she was in college, we'd have an argument and she'd go sit in the school library until they closed and then she'd go to an all night coffee chop and drink coffee until 2 in the morning. Michelle has a temper, but she'll cool off and come home when she wants to. By the time she gets home and gets a decent night's sleep she'll have forgotten what the argument was all about. You don't need to worry about her. If she left on her own, she's fine."

Bill wished that he was as confident as Michelle's mother. She had no idea what this argument was about. This was far worse than any argument that Leslie and Michelle ever had. Bill tried to sound relieved. "Thanks, Leslie. That makes me feel better. I guess I'll just wait for her to come home."

"If you want a little advise, Bill, I suggest that you just act like nothing happened. If she's not home by bedtime, go to bed. Let her think that it didn't bother you. I know once I started doing that, this running away act lost its shock value and she didn't do it very often any more."

"Thanks, Leslie. Maybe I'll try that."

They disconnected and Bill sighed. He got up from his chair and began pacing around his office. He considered going home and doing just what Leslie Dessler told him to do. She was right. Michelle was probably fine.

There was only one person that he hadn't contacted yet who he thought Michelle might have turned to. It was a long shot, but he decided to try it. He sat down at his computer and pulled up a list of NSA employees. He found Tony's cell phone number and dialed it. It was midnight in Washington and he hated to disturb anyone so late, but felt it was his only option. The phone was answered by a sleepy sounding woman.

"Hello," she said.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am, but I'm trying to locate Tony Almeida. Is he there?"

"Yeah, he's right here," Abby said. "Who's calling?"

"This is Bill Buchanan from the CIA."

"Hang on. I'll get him." Abby covered the receiver and turned to Tony who was lying next to her.

"Who is it?" he queried.

"Bill Buchanan from the CIA."

"Bill Buchanan? Why would he be calling me?" Tony took the phone. Although he occasionally got work related calls late at night, if the CIA needed to contact him, they had a liaison to NSA in Washington who would have called him. "Bill, it's Tony. What's up?"

"Tony, I'm sorry to bother you at this hour. I just wondered if you've heard from Michelle."

"Michelle? I haven't heard from Michelle since I left LA. Why would she have contacted me?"

"I don't know. I just thought she might try."

"Is she alright?"

"I don't know that either. We had an argument this morning. She stormed out of Division and I haven't heard from her since."

Tony wanted to laugh. "Welcome to the club," he said sarcastically. "She did the same thing to me. The next time I heard from her it was through her lawyer and she wanted a divorce." He paused for a moment. "Seriously, Bill, Michelle is fine and she'll come back if and when she wants to. She's a survivor. You're also not going to find her if she doesn't want to be found. She knows how to cover her trail. You're better off letting her come home on her own terms."

"You're probably right," Bill conceded. "I'm sorry to bother you, Tony. Thank you."

Tony hung up the phone and handed it to Abby to put back on the nightstand. "What was that all about?" she asked.

"It's the guy my ex-wife is living with. They had a fight and she walked out. He can't find her and he's worried about her. I told him that she can take care of herself."

"Why did he think you would know where she was?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I think he's probably desperate and was calling anyone he could think of. Forget it. Let's go to sleep. You tired me out," he told her as he kissed the tip of her nose. "You were quite the animal a little while ago."

"That's what happens when a man gives me diamonds," Abby teased him.

She rolled over on her side and pressed her back against his front. Tony put his arm around her and stared into the darkness. They both lay quietly for ten minutes or so when Abby spoke. "Tony?"

"Yes," he whispered in reply.

"Are you worried about her?"

"Am I worried about Michelle?"

"Yes."

"Not really. Why do you ask?"

"I just wondered," she said.

A minute or two passed before either of them spoke. It was Abby who broke the silence again. "Do you still love her?" she asked. Something in Tony's voice bothered her. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she heard that same quality in his voice any time that he spoke of Michelle.

Tony thought for a moment before he answered. "I guess I still care for her. I certainly don't want anything bad to happen to her."

"That's not what I asked, Tony. I asked if you still love her."

"I loved her enough to marry her. You can't just turn that off. I suppose in some way I do love her, but not in the same way that I love you." He kissed her head. "Honey, if you're worried that I don't love you, stop right now. I asked you to marry me tonight and I meant it. I want to spend my life with you. Now let's go to sleep and dream about that future."

Tony must have reassured her because before long Abby's slow, steady breathing signaled to Tony that she was asleep. He, unfortunately, was wide awake. Bill's call concerned him. He suspected that Michelle was fine and he also suspected that he knew where she was. He and Michelle always went to the beach when they needed to think or to talk something out. Old habits die hard and he bet that Michelle was sitting on a rock right now calming down and deciding what to do next. He almost told Bill but decided against it. If Michelle needed some time alone, who was he to ruin it? Tony wondered what Michelle and Bill could have argued over that would have resulted in her leaving work. Obviously Bill was concerned for her safety. He had to be desperate to call Tony.

Tony sighed. He thought that he was finally over Michelle. After all, he was starting a new life with Abby. But Bill's call just reminded him how much he still cared for her. No, it made him realize how much he still loved her. It concerned him that he couldn't even mask that enough to hide it from Abby. Michelle was his first love and he feared that she would still have his heart the day he died.

Michelle was still huddled against the rock when she awoke with a start. She thought she heard a baby crying but realized that it was just a gull squawking over head. She stretched and wondered how long she had been sleeping. She must have been exhausted from having so little sleep last night and all of the emotion of today. It was too dark for her to see her watch. She found her phone in the bottom of her purse and pulled it out to read the display. It was 12:42 am and there were four more messages from Bill. He must be half crazy by now. She thought about calling him but chose not to; not until she decided what she was going to do about her current situation.

Her head seemed clearer now that she had gotten a few hours of sleep. At least her thoughts weren't swirling any more and she could focus. She put her head back and looked up at the stars. She knew in her heart that there was no way that she could have an abortion. As much as the circumstances of this pregnancy didn't make her happy, the baby was half hers. If she was so against having a baby, she shouldn't have abdicated the responsibility of birth control to Bill. She had always wanted a child and she was almost 35. Time was becoming her enemy. Being a single parent wasn't something she thought she would do well with; she had no desire to raise the child on her own. She knew that Bill would love the baby and be a good father and she wanted the baby to grow up with two parents. Bill wasn't the man she wanted to spend her life with, but that man was gone and the fact that he was gone was her fault. If her life was screwed up, it was her own fault and she wasn't going to make her baby pay for that.

In the stillness of the night she was also willing to admit that although forcing her into an unwanted pregnancy was wrong on Bill's part, what she had done to Bill was wrong, too. She had forced a relationship just so she wouldn't be alone, so she would have someone to care for her. She had never loved Bill and could never love him the way he deserved to be loved. In the meantime, he had given his heart and soul to her. He wanted her to carry his child. What she had done to this sweet man was, in her mind, unforgivable. She had accepted his unconditional love while returning little if any of it.

The night had become unpleasantly cold and damp. Michelle got up and brushed the sand from her business suit; it was time to go home. She walked along the beach and back to her car. It was close to 4 o'clock when she finally arrived home.

Bill was drinking a vodka and tonic and thought that he had probably paced a hundred miles today when he finally heard Michelle's keys in the door. He set down the drink and practically ran to the door as she walked in.

"Oh, thank God you're alright. Michelle, I was so worried about you," Bill said. He instinctively reached for her. The relief in his voice was clear. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I know what I did was wrong and I don't know if there's any way to make it right. I'll do whatever you ask."

Michelle set her purse on the floor and closed the door behind her. "We need to talk." She took his hand and led him to the sofa. "We've both made mistakes, Bill. I'm as responsible for this mess as you are. All I ever wanted was someone to keep me company and to be there when I needed him. You wanted a long term, committed relationship. I knew that and yet I allowed the relationship to continue. That was wrong and I'm sorry. I should have never led you on that way."

Bill stood and picked up his drink. He kept his back turned toward Michelle. She wasn't telling him anything that he didn't already know, but it was hard to hear nonetheless. "You still love Tony, don't you?"

"Yes," she said. There was no point in lying. "I don't mean to try and justify my actions but I loved you, I still love you, just not the same way I love Tony. Truthfully, I doubt that I could ever love anyone the way I love Tony. But the bottom line here is that regardless of what we've done to each other, we're not just talking about ourselves here, we have a baby to think about."

Bill turned and looked at her unable to hide the surprise on his face. "I thought you were going to…" he couldn't make himself say it.

Michelle shook her head and looked at the floor. "I couldn't bring myself to do it. I talked to a doctor about it but I couldn't do it." Michelle raised her eyes to meet Bill's. "So, I guess we're going to be parents." The corners of her mouth curled faintly into a smile.