** Change of Heart **, chapter 10: Realizations
by Lilian
lilian413@yahoo.com
AN: Chapter 10, for all of those that have been expecting it. This will be the last installment until the first week of March--- I'm going to the beach!!. yay!!. Sun, beach, pool, cute guys... the one drawback, is little-to-none internet access. I think I will be able to answer my email, sporadically, but posting... a big no-no. But I promise you I will return with chapter 11, where *finally* the confrontation occurs!.
Review, okay?. Inspire me so I write a fantabulous chapter 11!.
****************************
"Would you slow down, Piper?".
As Piper sped around the corner, Leo instinctively blocked the baby's car seat protectively. A quick glance to the back of the car made him realize how quickly Prue had grown in the time she'd come to live with them and how much he wanted to protect her.
It wasn't an easy task by any means. Aside from the fact Prue was growing with each passing day, gaining both weight and mobility, there was the constant danger of demons popping in unannounced looking for her.
Thankfully, the doctor had pronounced her a happy healthy baby of three months and four days. Now, if only Piper would look as reassured as he knew she was feeling. Instead, his wife had broken several traffic laws, and dismissed a red light or two.
"This can't wait".
Piper had never been a speeder, and it worried Leo. This kind of reckless behavior reminded him of the days just after Prue's death. Uncaring, unfocused, impatient---
"If you kill us, we'll never get there in the first place!".
That seemed to make it through, and she took her foot off of the gas pedal. Not very much, but just enough to slow down to the city speed limit.
They careened on the corner of Prescott Street, and Piper slammed her foot on the brake, still keeping an eye on Leo and the giggling baby in his arms. Little Prue seemed to like the wind blowing in her face, that was coming through the open car windows, and gurgled loudly, clapping her hands.
She unbuckled her seat belt, and ran out of the car, throwing the keys at Leo to lock it. He sighed loudly, and wondered if his wife wasn't in serious need of a sedative.
He locked the car, after unbluckling Prue, and taking their belongings out, and strode into the house, where a flabbergasted Paige waited for him at the foot of the stairs.
"What was that all about?".
Leo shook his head, and put Prue in Paige's arms. The baby cooed some more, and sucked on a stray lock of Paige's hair.
"She is not talking".
Cole walked in just then, and his eyes lit up at the sight of Prue, who in turn, stretched her arms out at him, demanding his attention.
"How was the doctor, Leo?".
The whitelighter waved his hands about, his eyes glued to the stairwell, wondering whether he should be orbing up there, like, right now.
"Fine. It's Piper I'm worried about".
Cole raised an eyebrow at the comment, and Paige just shrugged her shoulders. It was then that a triumphant cry made its way to them, coming from the attic.
"Found it!".
Paige rearranged Prue in her arms, and moved up the stairs. Cole and Leo followed, their frowns evident in the both their faces. Paige just carried a questioning expression in her eyes, wondering just what new hocus pocus Piper had come up with.
As they entered the attic, Piper's silent whispers reached them, as she read down a certain page of the Book of Shadows, keeping her hair out of the way with her left hand.
"Honey, is everything all right?".
Piper waved a hand in Leo's general direction, never taking her eyes off the Book.
"More than all right. Perfect!".
She turned to the next page, and seemed displeased with what she saw.
"That's it?. That's all?. How am I supposed to know if this is going to work?".
Cole walked up to her, and read from behind her shoulder.
'Family Ties', read the page, in that bold, beautiful handwriting that covered the Book from cover to cover.
"What do we need this for?".
Piper craned her neck, and looked at him. A devil smile danced through her lips, and a spark of excitement shone so bright in her eyes, Cole mused if she wasn't on something.
"Truth".
Paige waited aside, busy entertaining Prue with baby talk and funny faces.
"What truth?".
Her question was more out of habit than interest, since she wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around her.
"You'll see".
And before anyone else could talk, or interrupt her, she read the spell.
"Blood to blood,
Bone to bone,
sight unseen, ties unknown,
feel the ties than run so deep,
uncover them in front of me".
She absently mused at the lack of rhyme her ancestors had, before bright light erupted from the book, and enveloped all of them.
None of them cried out, well, Paige did shriek a little, still unused to the sudden spurts of life the Book amazed them with. But the light was not evil--- it almost seemed to be looking for something.
So they remained still, letting it do its magic.
When it died down, Piper rubbed her eyes, trying to rid them of the black spots dancing in her vision. Being the closest one to the Book, she had taken the full blunt of the glow.
"Damn spells, should come with a warning!. This is like the third time this has happened!. I'm really considering---".
Her breath caught in her throat, as she saw the effects her spell had had.
All five of them were glowing. Glowing, as in, shinning with pretty colors. Leo shone in a light blue, much like his orbing lights looked like. Paige's aura seemed darker, but also retained the blue qualities of what Piper deemed as whitelighter's.
She looked down, and found herself shinning with a light green. She turned her head to look at Cole, and smiled when his aura shone a deep, wine-like red.
"Figures".
As her eyes adjusted to the almost strobe-like lights, she noticed something else. A faint string of white connected her to Paige. And she turned, half expecting, almost knowing what she was about to see.
A faint cord of light stretched out from Cole's surprised form, and crossed the room, running straight into little Prue, which, Piper noted, shone with a beautiful purple aura. An almost invisible cord connected Prue and Paige too.
Almost as an afterthought, she realized she and Prue were also connected.
"Piper, what is this?".
"Proof".
Her eyes were wide open, and her breath was coming in short gasps, at the sudden truth. Because she had been right. She had been right!. Phoebe had been alive for nine more months--- at least!. She had been alive--- and they had done nothing!.
The room tilted, and she felt her knees wobbling from under her. Leo was by her side in a second, as the lights dimmed away, their auras disappearing. While Prue tried to grab the glitters in her small, little fingers, Piper hid her face in Leo's chest, and cried.
Cried, because she had failed her sister.
Again.
********************************
Paige watched the display in front of her with a weird look in her eyes. She walked up to the Book in silence, and read the open page in front of her.
And line by line, word by word, the truth was revealed to her. She had seen the cords too--- and now she understood the meaning of them. She turned her eyes to the baby in her arms, and Prue stared back at her, her big, blue eyes sparkling in merriment, as if she had a secret they knew nothing about, and she wasn't telling.
"Oh my God".
She sank back into an old chair, grateful that her legs did not have to hold her up anymore.
Cole looked at Leo, who in turn looked back at him, from above Piper's still sobbing form. And he shrugged at the older man, still in the dark as to why the two women had broken down into sobs.
"Paige, what is it?".
Cole asked the youngest, knowing Piper was in no condition to be speaking.
"Prue-- Prue is--- your daughter, Cole".
A blanket of deep silence covered the room, broken only by Prue's random gurgle, as Paige's arms around her suddenly became slack, and she was able to move around. Almost as an aferthought, Paige ut Prue down, letting the young yet restless baby free to move around.
The small baby seemed oblivious to everyone's eyes, which were fixed on her, as if she had just sprouted another head.
"What?".
His voice came out in a harsh whisper, reminding them of Belthazor's voice. Deeper, richer... different.
"The spell Piper read... it was meant to show us the family ties between us. And you and Prue are connected. Just as Piper and me".
Cole had stopped breathing when Paige had spoken. And he listened to her words, and yet none of them made sense.
His daughter?. Prue was his daughter? That was ludicrous!. Demons did not bear children!. He looked at Prue, who had now slid off Paige's arms, and had promptly began crawling around the room... and so many things made sense.
Things he had noticed, and had pushed back in his head, afraid of the implications.
Prue's eyes.
The way she was so like Phoebe and yet, not.
The deep affection he felt for her... Gods, how could he have been so stupid!. It was so obvious!. As he chastised himself for not knowing sooner, a faint voice in the back of his head whispered to him that he had, in fact, known this.
Imbedded deep into his psyche, he had known.
He had known the second he laid eyes on Prue... his heart surged with pride, and love, and happiness--- until a thought made its way into his mind.
If Prue was his daughter, that meant---
{Oh my God!}
His vision blurred, and he slumped forward, his body suddenly deprived of any energy.
{Phoebe!}
She was alive!. Or at least, she had been alive for nine months after she had disappeared... it had all been a lie. The visions of her death, the severed link--- lies, all lies!. And he had believed them, every single one of them, without asking, without checking!!.
"No...".
His hands sought support and found it in the Book of Shadows, lying in front of him. The logical part of his mind screamed at him to move, or the Book would zap him--- but nothing came. And still, he could not care less.
He would trade everything-- *everything* to have her back.
And yet, there was nothing he could do to erase his sins. He had let his Phoebe remain in the Underworld, probably being tortured, while he had settled into a comfortable routine, and made himself comfortable with her family!.
His stomach revolted at the idea, and he just wished the whole world would cave in on him, and send him to Hell already.
Because, it was all his fault.
**************************
Leo could feel as things were slipping right through his fingers. With each passing second, they got more and more out of control, until he was sure he would snap too.
Not that he hadn't danced along the way of insanity ever since this news had been thrown at them.
Phoebe was alive.
Or at least, had been alive for longer than they had thought.
And they hadn't done anything... he fought back the urge to punch his fist through the wall, knowing it would earn him nothing but a bleeding fist he could not even heal later on. But he needed something, needed to take his anger out at something!.
Piper lay in their bed, her eyes wide and unseen, staring at the ceiling. Silent tears made their way down her cheeks, and the occasional sob broke the silence. And again, there was nothing Leo could do to reach her.
What a husband he had turned out to be.
It sickened him, the idea that Phoebe had lived in the Underworld for nine months without their knowledge. Gods, the things she must've experienced--- his heart reached out for her, knowing it was all in the past now.
And yet, not.
Penny Halliwell's words came back to haunt him. Phoebe *was* dead. Her link to Cole had been severed and a soul mate only lost touch with the other when death intervened. And her soul was still suffering in the Underworld... still within the hellish clutches of the Source.
He crawled into the bed, needing to feel Piper's warmth, even if she hadn't spoken a word since they had found out up in the attic.
Hesitantly, he reached out for Piper--- and unlike other times, she did not quail from his touch. She even gave in, and cuddled up against him, hiding her face in his chest. He rested his chin atop her hair, and breathed in deeply, trying to keep the phantoms of failure away.
But he couldn't.
He had failed to protect them, again. He was their whitelighter, he was supposed to keep them safe, godamnit!.
He stifled a sob in his chest, and breathed an apology to his wife.
"I'm so sorry".
Piper did not answer right away. Her hands encircled his waist, and hugged him tight.
And her soft, shaky voice emerged from the cocoon she had built around her.
"Why?. It's not your fault".
Leo closed his eyes tight, fighting back the tears of helplessness and the dread that had seeped into his bones.
"Yes, it is".
She raised her eyes at him, welled up in tears, and in them, Leo found a despair that mirrored his own.
"No. If anyone is to blame for this, it should be me. I let her go see Emma, I let her out of my sight. I stopped looking for her, and I pronounced her dead with even making an effort to find her. It was my fault, and it just hurts!. It hurts and I can't breathe because of it!".
The last few sentences had been punctuated with weak punches on Leo's chest, as Piper tried to blow some steam off. But when her words died out, so did her strength, and she let herself fall in his embrace again.
And she cried into his chest, wishing once, just once, she hadn't screwed things up. She had lost two sisters, *two*, to evil, and she just couldn't take it anymore. It seemed every time she was on her way to recovery, every time she tried to be happy, magic came and messed with her head, destroying her life, destroying it beyond repair.
"Leo, please, make it stop!".
Her desperate sobs were like daggers into his heart, as he could only hold her and hope for the better.
"Gods, if only I could've done something!. I hate being so weak!".
The anger came and went for Piper. It swept into her, infusing her with energy to spit out the words, and then left her in a daze, as it receded away from her body, pushed back by the tears and the pain.
"Piper, don't talk like that".
Leo's voice was barely a whisper, as he fought his own demons.
"You're the strongest woman I know".
Piper shook off his arms from around her, and rolled in the bed, turninging away from him.
"I'm not. I'm weak and powerless and I could do nothing to save Prue. Or Phoebe. And I won't be able to save you either".
Leo sat in the bed, trying to look at her face. She just burrowed deeper within herself, hiding from him. From herself. From everyone. He understood why she felt the imperious need to protect him... it was the pain talking, whispering in her ear, making her fear things that hadn't been an issue up until then.
"Piper, don't".
A few seconds went by, in which the soft ticking of the bed-stand clock could be heard, before Piper turned in a flurry of hair and flashing eyes, and sat up.
And she was angry.
At whom, she could not say.
Maybe at herself, for *ever* believing she could be happy. Maybe at--- it was a futile attempt.
Her anger was vague, unfocused, infusing her every thought, making it hard to keep in check. And she didn't care. Anger she could deal with. Pain--- pain was hard, and it hurt, and it was forever.
"Yes. I dare. And I will say it. Prue died because you healed me first. Phoebe died because I didn't protect her enough. It is all my fault, and there's nothing you can say to change it, because it happened, and it's the *truth*!".
Her arms flew up in the air, accentuating her words. And the stereo blew up, in a small explosion of metal and wires.
That seemed to calm her down a little, as her hands slowly descended to her lap, where they rested, not moving... she did not look up, and her hair curtained her face. But Leo knew what he would see if he looked.
Her beautiful features drawn in a grimace so deep, and anguish so steep---
"Maybe".
He spoke softly, knowing she could not take anything more right now. And he spoke from his heart, trying to calm her *and* himself... trying to mend their broken lives into something resembling normality.
"Maybe. That's one way of putting it. But that's a twisted version of the truth, Piper. And you know it. What happened was out of your control, and you had no way of knowing. It's the natural flow of life--- and we must learn to deal with it, even if it tears us down...".
With every word he spoke, Piper seemed to straighten, her back rising. As his voice died out, she looked at him, into those beautiful, thoughtful eyes, and *believed* it.
"Besides, if Phoebe was alive long enough to give birth to Prue, it means there is a good chance she *is* still be alive. We might still have a chance to save her, Piper".
Leo hadn't meant to say that. He had tried to soothe her, to say something understanding, and comforting--- but it was too late to take the words back. Yet, when he said them out loud, they did not sound so far-fetched.
As Leo's words registered in Piper's battered psyche, a ray of hope made its way into her heart. The Elders had screwed up before. Maybe Phoebe wasn't dead... maybe the Source had only found a way to sever Phoebe's connection to the Powers that Be, and even to Cole.
A ghost of a smile graced her lips, as hope gave her some of her energy back.
Maybe, just maybe--- they would have a chance to make this right.
*******************************
He sat in his room, his eyes locked on Prue's crib. The baby slept soundly, unaware of the troubled man that hadn't looked away from her for the past hour. The room was dark, as the sun had set, and Cole had not made a single move to turn on the lights.
His eyes seemed fixed on the baby that slept just a few feet away from him... and one could not say if in fear, or awe.
He had been sitting there for the past hour, not moving, and to Paige, not breathing. She had been watching him in silence for the past fifteen minutes, and not one sign told her he was even still alive.
"Are you gonna stay there all night?".
She jumped in surprise when he spoke. And frowned when she noticed the lack of emotion in his voice.
She laughed nervously, and then slapped herself mentally, as she realized he probably wasn't in the mood for laughter.
Gods, what was she supposed to do?. She had never been this touchy-feely person, and Cole looked like he was in serious need for a hug right now. Or just, any real, *human* touch--- the man looked on the brink of insanity.
"Sorry".
Her apology came out sheepish, but it was the best she could do. She walked into the room, and thought about turning on the lights... but then thought better of it. She had had her share of mourning, with her parents' death, and later on, with Phoebe. She had realized darkness was the way to go.
It was easier to think in the dark. At least for her.
It seemed to work just fine for the half-demon.
She leaned by the door, unsure on what to say, and yet, needing to say something---
"She's beautiful, isn't she?".
His voice came to her in a whisper, across the room. And she nodded slowly, before she noticed Cole could not see her in the dark.
"Yeah. She looks a lot like Phoebe".
The obvious stiffening of Cole's stance at the mention of her sister's name did not go unnoticed to her. But she did not apologize. Somehow, in some, carnal, basic way, she knew Cole needed to deal with what had transpired up in the attic--- and running away from her name was not an option.
"She does, doesn't she?".
Every time he spoke, he seemed to shrink... letting the weight of things he thought he was to blame for accumulating, overpowering him.
"But she has your eyes...".
Through the light that came in from the hallway, Paige could see as Cole slowly turned to look at her. And there was such sadness in his eyes, such--- *defeat*, she gasped at the sheer weight of it.
"I know".
She walked up to the crib, and looked inside, her eyes softening at the sight of the sleeping little girl.
{You stirred quite a mess, honey. And you can't even understand it, can you?}.
They remained in silence for a while, only their soft breathings interrupting the quiet.
"It was not your fault".
Cole seemed to have been slapped. His eyes darted at her, freezing her on the spot. And the sadness receded, just to let the anger shine through his blue eyes.
"Really?. And how is that?".
Paige was tempted to snap back at him for the sarcasm that dripped from his words. But she had dealt with her fair share of parental-lashing, and she knew anger did not discriminate the receiving end.
So, she took a deep breath, to calm her temper, and waited until he seemed to calm down too to answer his remark.
"We accepted the truth we were given. There was no reason to question it".
He rose from his seat, for the first time in hours, and walked briskly towards the window, turning his back to her.
"And you think that makes it better?".
She tucked her hair behind her ear, and tried to put into words what was running through her head.
"It should. Phoebe was--- she was a strong woman. She wouldn't have wanted you endangering yourself just to rescue her".
That was the truth, and they both knew it. Phoebe had been as protective of Cole as Cole had been of her.
"I should've known, Paige".
She knew what he was trying to say. He should've felt the baby in Phoebe's belly, should've realized she was pregnant--- maybe, if he had known, he wouldn't have left her alone, and this mess wouldn't have happened in the first place.
"I'm betting *she* didn't know, Cole. You shouldn't be doing this to yourself".
He turned to look at her, and his eyes shone in the dark, as he spoke once again.
"Paige, you don't understand. She was pregnant. *Pregnant*. And she went through all of that alone--- and in Hell!. Do you know what that must've been like?".
In an uncharacteristic display of affection, Paige rested her hand on Cole's shoulder, and tried to somehow send him her strength. Whitelighter powers and all.
It seemed to work, because the storm raging in his eyes seemed to calm down, and was no longer a typhoon...
"I don't. None of us do. But don't you see?. She must've sent Prue to us. She wanted us to protect her--- she *knew* we would protect her. And that *you* would be watching over her".
Prue chose that moment to yawn, and open her eyes lazily. As her little arms and legs waved around, she seemed to battle the last droplets of sleep, and was soon staring at them, her blue eyes wide and curious.
"Do you think she knows?".
Cole's voice was barely a whisper, even if Prue was already awake. And the open question refered to so many things, that to any other would've seen incongrous. But to Paige, it made perfect sense.
"On some level, I think she does. But she also knows her father is here".
Father. The word seemed to echo around them, repeating itself endlessly, until it died away into the darkness.
And Cole felt as some of his guilt disappeared--- because Prue had been there for Phoebe, when he hadn't been. When he had quit on her, and left her for dead, their daughter had been there... and he *knew* Prue shared a connection with Phoebe that went beyond the usual mother-daughter link.
And he was afraid, afraid that now that he knew the truth, Prue would somehow hate him.
Slowly, hesitantly, fully expecting Prue to reject his touch, his hand touched the baby's chin. And her delicious smile, full of joy and so completely innocent, filled his heart with hope.
He had failed Phoebe--- and there was nothing he could do to change that. His heart ached at her memory, and his own mind chastised him every hour of the day. It would be something he would have to live for, every single day of his almost eternal life. He could only hope to atone for his sins by taking care of their daughter... the daughter he hadn't known he had, until a few hours ago.
{I'm sorry, Phoebe. I swear to you, no one will ever harm our little girl. I'll make sure she never feels the pain you and I have shared}.
And, as Prue grabbed his fingers with her little chubby hands and squeezed them strongly, Cole felt a connection awakening, inside of him, where Phoebe's presence resided. And he understood perfectly know, why Prue held a piece of his heart that up until then, belonged to Phoebe alone.
A connection to his daughter...
He took her from her crib, and cuddled her against his chest. And Prue burrowed deep into him, and sighed contentedly.
The three of them remained in silence, Paige feeling a little bit out of place, until Cole's eyes opened and looked at her from behind Prue's small body.
And in them, she saw all the gratitude she needed.
The last of the bonds was established, as the Witch, the Demon and the Child breathed in the darkness, waiting for the next day to come...
******************
Tbc....
next chapter, coming on March 2nd (just to be sure)
by Lilian
lilian413@yahoo.com
AN: Chapter 10, for all of those that have been expecting it. This will be the last installment until the first week of March--- I'm going to the beach!!. yay!!. Sun, beach, pool, cute guys... the one drawback, is little-to-none internet access. I think I will be able to answer my email, sporadically, but posting... a big no-no. But I promise you I will return with chapter 11, where *finally* the confrontation occurs!.
Review, okay?. Inspire me so I write a fantabulous chapter 11!.
****************************
"Would you slow down, Piper?".
As Piper sped around the corner, Leo instinctively blocked the baby's car seat protectively. A quick glance to the back of the car made him realize how quickly Prue had grown in the time she'd come to live with them and how much he wanted to protect her.
It wasn't an easy task by any means. Aside from the fact Prue was growing with each passing day, gaining both weight and mobility, there was the constant danger of demons popping in unannounced looking for her.
Thankfully, the doctor had pronounced her a happy healthy baby of three months and four days. Now, if only Piper would look as reassured as he knew she was feeling. Instead, his wife had broken several traffic laws, and dismissed a red light or two.
"This can't wait".
Piper had never been a speeder, and it worried Leo. This kind of reckless behavior reminded him of the days just after Prue's death. Uncaring, unfocused, impatient---
"If you kill us, we'll never get there in the first place!".
That seemed to make it through, and she took her foot off of the gas pedal. Not very much, but just enough to slow down to the city speed limit.
They careened on the corner of Prescott Street, and Piper slammed her foot on the brake, still keeping an eye on Leo and the giggling baby in his arms. Little Prue seemed to like the wind blowing in her face, that was coming through the open car windows, and gurgled loudly, clapping her hands.
She unbuckled her seat belt, and ran out of the car, throwing the keys at Leo to lock it. He sighed loudly, and wondered if his wife wasn't in serious need of a sedative.
He locked the car, after unbluckling Prue, and taking their belongings out, and strode into the house, where a flabbergasted Paige waited for him at the foot of the stairs.
"What was that all about?".
Leo shook his head, and put Prue in Paige's arms. The baby cooed some more, and sucked on a stray lock of Paige's hair.
"She is not talking".
Cole walked in just then, and his eyes lit up at the sight of Prue, who in turn, stretched her arms out at him, demanding his attention.
"How was the doctor, Leo?".
The whitelighter waved his hands about, his eyes glued to the stairwell, wondering whether he should be orbing up there, like, right now.
"Fine. It's Piper I'm worried about".
Cole raised an eyebrow at the comment, and Paige just shrugged her shoulders. It was then that a triumphant cry made its way to them, coming from the attic.
"Found it!".
Paige rearranged Prue in her arms, and moved up the stairs. Cole and Leo followed, their frowns evident in the both their faces. Paige just carried a questioning expression in her eyes, wondering just what new hocus pocus Piper had come up with.
As they entered the attic, Piper's silent whispers reached them, as she read down a certain page of the Book of Shadows, keeping her hair out of the way with her left hand.
"Honey, is everything all right?".
Piper waved a hand in Leo's general direction, never taking her eyes off the Book.
"More than all right. Perfect!".
She turned to the next page, and seemed displeased with what she saw.
"That's it?. That's all?. How am I supposed to know if this is going to work?".
Cole walked up to her, and read from behind her shoulder.
'Family Ties', read the page, in that bold, beautiful handwriting that covered the Book from cover to cover.
"What do we need this for?".
Piper craned her neck, and looked at him. A devil smile danced through her lips, and a spark of excitement shone so bright in her eyes, Cole mused if she wasn't on something.
"Truth".
Paige waited aside, busy entertaining Prue with baby talk and funny faces.
"What truth?".
Her question was more out of habit than interest, since she wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around her.
"You'll see".
And before anyone else could talk, or interrupt her, she read the spell.
"Blood to blood,
Bone to bone,
sight unseen, ties unknown,
feel the ties than run so deep,
uncover them in front of me".
She absently mused at the lack of rhyme her ancestors had, before bright light erupted from the book, and enveloped all of them.
None of them cried out, well, Paige did shriek a little, still unused to the sudden spurts of life the Book amazed them with. But the light was not evil--- it almost seemed to be looking for something.
So they remained still, letting it do its magic.
When it died down, Piper rubbed her eyes, trying to rid them of the black spots dancing in her vision. Being the closest one to the Book, she had taken the full blunt of the glow.
"Damn spells, should come with a warning!. This is like the third time this has happened!. I'm really considering---".
Her breath caught in her throat, as she saw the effects her spell had had.
All five of them were glowing. Glowing, as in, shinning with pretty colors. Leo shone in a light blue, much like his orbing lights looked like. Paige's aura seemed darker, but also retained the blue qualities of what Piper deemed as whitelighter's.
She looked down, and found herself shinning with a light green. She turned her head to look at Cole, and smiled when his aura shone a deep, wine-like red.
"Figures".
As her eyes adjusted to the almost strobe-like lights, she noticed something else. A faint string of white connected her to Paige. And she turned, half expecting, almost knowing what she was about to see.
A faint cord of light stretched out from Cole's surprised form, and crossed the room, running straight into little Prue, which, Piper noted, shone with a beautiful purple aura. An almost invisible cord connected Prue and Paige too.
Almost as an afterthought, she realized she and Prue were also connected.
"Piper, what is this?".
"Proof".
Her eyes were wide open, and her breath was coming in short gasps, at the sudden truth. Because she had been right. She had been right!. Phoebe had been alive for nine more months--- at least!. She had been alive--- and they had done nothing!.
The room tilted, and she felt her knees wobbling from under her. Leo was by her side in a second, as the lights dimmed away, their auras disappearing. While Prue tried to grab the glitters in her small, little fingers, Piper hid her face in Leo's chest, and cried.
Cried, because she had failed her sister.
Again.
********************************
Paige watched the display in front of her with a weird look in her eyes. She walked up to the Book in silence, and read the open page in front of her.
And line by line, word by word, the truth was revealed to her. She had seen the cords too--- and now she understood the meaning of them. She turned her eyes to the baby in her arms, and Prue stared back at her, her big, blue eyes sparkling in merriment, as if she had a secret they knew nothing about, and she wasn't telling.
"Oh my God".
She sank back into an old chair, grateful that her legs did not have to hold her up anymore.
Cole looked at Leo, who in turn looked back at him, from above Piper's still sobbing form. And he shrugged at the older man, still in the dark as to why the two women had broken down into sobs.
"Paige, what is it?".
Cole asked the youngest, knowing Piper was in no condition to be speaking.
"Prue-- Prue is--- your daughter, Cole".
A blanket of deep silence covered the room, broken only by Prue's random gurgle, as Paige's arms around her suddenly became slack, and she was able to move around. Almost as an aferthought, Paige ut Prue down, letting the young yet restless baby free to move around.
The small baby seemed oblivious to everyone's eyes, which were fixed on her, as if she had just sprouted another head.
"What?".
His voice came out in a harsh whisper, reminding them of Belthazor's voice. Deeper, richer... different.
"The spell Piper read... it was meant to show us the family ties between us. And you and Prue are connected. Just as Piper and me".
Cole had stopped breathing when Paige had spoken. And he listened to her words, and yet none of them made sense.
His daughter?. Prue was his daughter? That was ludicrous!. Demons did not bear children!. He looked at Prue, who had now slid off Paige's arms, and had promptly began crawling around the room... and so many things made sense.
Things he had noticed, and had pushed back in his head, afraid of the implications.
Prue's eyes.
The way she was so like Phoebe and yet, not.
The deep affection he felt for her... Gods, how could he have been so stupid!. It was so obvious!. As he chastised himself for not knowing sooner, a faint voice in the back of his head whispered to him that he had, in fact, known this.
Imbedded deep into his psyche, he had known.
He had known the second he laid eyes on Prue... his heart surged with pride, and love, and happiness--- until a thought made its way into his mind.
If Prue was his daughter, that meant---
{Oh my God!}
His vision blurred, and he slumped forward, his body suddenly deprived of any energy.
{Phoebe!}
She was alive!. Or at least, she had been alive for nine months after she had disappeared... it had all been a lie. The visions of her death, the severed link--- lies, all lies!. And he had believed them, every single one of them, without asking, without checking!!.
"No...".
His hands sought support and found it in the Book of Shadows, lying in front of him. The logical part of his mind screamed at him to move, or the Book would zap him--- but nothing came. And still, he could not care less.
He would trade everything-- *everything* to have her back.
And yet, there was nothing he could do to erase his sins. He had let his Phoebe remain in the Underworld, probably being tortured, while he had settled into a comfortable routine, and made himself comfortable with her family!.
His stomach revolted at the idea, and he just wished the whole world would cave in on him, and send him to Hell already.
Because, it was all his fault.
**************************
Leo could feel as things were slipping right through his fingers. With each passing second, they got more and more out of control, until he was sure he would snap too.
Not that he hadn't danced along the way of insanity ever since this news had been thrown at them.
Phoebe was alive.
Or at least, had been alive for longer than they had thought.
And they hadn't done anything... he fought back the urge to punch his fist through the wall, knowing it would earn him nothing but a bleeding fist he could not even heal later on. But he needed something, needed to take his anger out at something!.
Piper lay in their bed, her eyes wide and unseen, staring at the ceiling. Silent tears made their way down her cheeks, and the occasional sob broke the silence. And again, there was nothing Leo could do to reach her.
What a husband he had turned out to be.
It sickened him, the idea that Phoebe had lived in the Underworld for nine months without their knowledge. Gods, the things she must've experienced--- his heart reached out for her, knowing it was all in the past now.
And yet, not.
Penny Halliwell's words came back to haunt him. Phoebe *was* dead. Her link to Cole had been severed and a soul mate only lost touch with the other when death intervened. And her soul was still suffering in the Underworld... still within the hellish clutches of the Source.
He crawled into the bed, needing to feel Piper's warmth, even if she hadn't spoken a word since they had found out up in the attic.
Hesitantly, he reached out for Piper--- and unlike other times, she did not quail from his touch. She even gave in, and cuddled up against him, hiding her face in his chest. He rested his chin atop her hair, and breathed in deeply, trying to keep the phantoms of failure away.
But he couldn't.
He had failed to protect them, again. He was their whitelighter, he was supposed to keep them safe, godamnit!.
He stifled a sob in his chest, and breathed an apology to his wife.
"I'm so sorry".
Piper did not answer right away. Her hands encircled his waist, and hugged him tight.
And her soft, shaky voice emerged from the cocoon she had built around her.
"Why?. It's not your fault".
Leo closed his eyes tight, fighting back the tears of helplessness and the dread that had seeped into his bones.
"Yes, it is".
She raised her eyes at him, welled up in tears, and in them, Leo found a despair that mirrored his own.
"No. If anyone is to blame for this, it should be me. I let her go see Emma, I let her out of my sight. I stopped looking for her, and I pronounced her dead with even making an effort to find her. It was my fault, and it just hurts!. It hurts and I can't breathe because of it!".
The last few sentences had been punctuated with weak punches on Leo's chest, as Piper tried to blow some steam off. But when her words died out, so did her strength, and she let herself fall in his embrace again.
And she cried into his chest, wishing once, just once, she hadn't screwed things up. She had lost two sisters, *two*, to evil, and she just couldn't take it anymore. It seemed every time she was on her way to recovery, every time she tried to be happy, magic came and messed with her head, destroying her life, destroying it beyond repair.
"Leo, please, make it stop!".
Her desperate sobs were like daggers into his heart, as he could only hold her and hope for the better.
"Gods, if only I could've done something!. I hate being so weak!".
The anger came and went for Piper. It swept into her, infusing her with energy to spit out the words, and then left her in a daze, as it receded away from her body, pushed back by the tears and the pain.
"Piper, don't talk like that".
Leo's voice was barely a whisper, as he fought his own demons.
"You're the strongest woman I know".
Piper shook off his arms from around her, and rolled in the bed, turninging away from him.
"I'm not. I'm weak and powerless and I could do nothing to save Prue. Or Phoebe. And I won't be able to save you either".
Leo sat in the bed, trying to look at her face. She just burrowed deeper within herself, hiding from him. From herself. From everyone. He understood why she felt the imperious need to protect him... it was the pain talking, whispering in her ear, making her fear things that hadn't been an issue up until then.
"Piper, don't".
A few seconds went by, in which the soft ticking of the bed-stand clock could be heard, before Piper turned in a flurry of hair and flashing eyes, and sat up.
And she was angry.
At whom, she could not say.
Maybe at herself, for *ever* believing she could be happy. Maybe at--- it was a futile attempt.
Her anger was vague, unfocused, infusing her every thought, making it hard to keep in check. And she didn't care. Anger she could deal with. Pain--- pain was hard, and it hurt, and it was forever.
"Yes. I dare. And I will say it. Prue died because you healed me first. Phoebe died because I didn't protect her enough. It is all my fault, and there's nothing you can say to change it, because it happened, and it's the *truth*!".
Her arms flew up in the air, accentuating her words. And the stereo blew up, in a small explosion of metal and wires.
That seemed to calm her down a little, as her hands slowly descended to her lap, where they rested, not moving... she did not look up, and her hair curtained her face. But Leo knew what he would see if he looked.
Her beautiful features drawn in a grimace so deep, and anguish so steep---
"Maybe".
He spoke softly, knowing she could not take anything more right now. And he spoke from his heart, trying to calm her *and* himself... trying to mend their broken lives into something resembling normality.
"Maybe. That's one way of putting it. But that's a twisted version of the truth, Piper. And you know it. What happened was out of your control, and you had no way of knowing. It's the natural flow of life--- and we must learn to deal with it, even if it tears us down...".
With every word he spoke, Piper seemed to straighten, her back rising. As his voice died out, she looked at him, into those beautiful, thoughtful eyes, and *believed* it.
"Besides, if Phoebe was alive long enough to give birth to Prue, it means there is a good chance she *is* still be alive. We might still have a chance to save her, Piper".
Leo hadn't meant to say that. He had tried to soothe her, to say something understanding, and comforting--- but it was too late to take the words back. Yet, when he said them out loud, they did not sound so far-fetched.
As Leo's words registered in Piper's battered psyche, a ray of hope made its way into her heart. The Elders had screwed up before. Maybe Phoebe wasn't dead... maybe the Source had only found a way to sever Phoebe's connection to the Powers that Be, and even to Cole.
A ghost of a smile graced her lips, as hope gave her some of her energy back.
Maybe, just maybe--- they would have a chance to make this right.
*******************************
He sat in his room, his eyes locked on Prue's crib. The baby slept soundly, unaware of the troubled man that hadn't looked away from her for the past hour. The room was dark, as the sun had set, and Cole had not made a single move to turn on the lights.
His eyes seemed fixed on the baby that slept just a few feet away from him... and one could not say if in fear, or awe.
He had been sitting there for the past hour, not moving, and to Paige, not breathing. She had been watching him in silence for the past fifteen minutes, and not one sign told her he was even still alive.
"Are you gonna stay there all night?".
She jumped in surprise when he spoke. And frowned when she noticed the lack of emotion in his voice.
She laughed nervously, and then slapped herself mentally, as she realized he probably wasn't in the mood for laughter.
Gods, what was she supposed to do?. She had never been this touchy-feely person, and Cole looked like he was in serious need for a hug right now. Or just, any real, *human* touch--- the man looked on the brink of insanity.
"Sorry".
Her apology came out sheepish, but it was the best she could do. She walked into the room, and thought about turning on the lights... but then thought better of it. She had had her share of mourning, with her parents' death, and later on, with Phoebe. She had realized darkness was the way to go.
It was easier to think in the dark. At least for her.
It seemed to work just fine for the half-demon.
She leaned by the door, unsure on what to say, and yet, needing to say something---
"She's beautiful, isn't she?".
His voice came to her in a whisper, across the room. And she nodded slowly, before she noticed Cole could not see her in the dark.
"Yeah. She looks a lot like Phoebe".
The obvious stiffening of Cole's stance at the mention of her sister's name did not go unnoticed to her. But she did not apologize. Somehow, in some, carnal, basic way, she knew Cole needed to deal with what had transpired up in the attic--- and running away from her name was not an option.
"She does, doesn't she?".
Every time he spoke, he seemed to shrink... letting the weight of things he thought he was to blame for accumulating, overpowering him.
"But she has your eyes...".
Through the light that came in from the hallway, Paige could see as Cole slowly turned to look at her. And there was such sadness in his eyes, such--- *defeat*, she gasped at the sheer weight of it.
"I know".
She walked up to the crib, and looked inside, her eyes softening at the sight of the sleeping little girl.
{You stirred quite a mess, honey. And you can't even understand it, can you?}.
They remained in silence for a while, only their soft breathings interrupting the quiet.
"It was not your fault".
Cole seemed to have been slapped. His eyes darted at her, freezing her on the spot. And the sadness receded, just to let the anger shine through his blue eyes.
"Really?. And how is that?".
Paige was tempted to snap back at him for the sarcasm that dripped from his words. But she had dealt with her fair share of parental-lashing, and she knew anger did not discriminate the receiving end.
So, she took a deep breath, to calm her temper, and waited until he seemed to calm down too to answer his remark.
"We accepted the truth we were given. There was no reason to question it".
He rose from his seat, for the first time in hours, and walked briskly towards the window, turning his back to her.
"And you think that makes it better?".
She tucked her hair behind her ear, and tried to put into words what was running through her head.
"It should. Phoebe was--- she was a strong woman. She wouldn't have wanted you endangering yourself just to rescue her".
That was the truth, and they both knew it. Phoebe had been as protective of Cole as Cole had been of her.
"I should've known, Paige".
She knew what he was trying to say. He should've felt the baby in Phoebe's belly, should've realized she was pregnant--- maybe, if he had known, he wouldn't have left her alone, and this mess wouldn't have happened in the first place.
"I'm betting *she* didn't know, Cole. You shouldn't be doing this to yourself".
He turned to look at her, and his eyes shone in the dark, as he spoke once again.
"Paige, you don't understand. She was pregnant. *Pregnant*. And she went through all of that alone--- and in Hell!. Do you know what that must've been like?".
In an uncharacteristic display of affection, Paige rested her hand on Cole's shoulder, and tried to somehow send him her strength. Whitelighter powers and all.
It seemed to work, because the storm raging in his eyes seemed to calm down, and was no longer a typhoon...
"I don't. None of us do. But don't you see?. She must've sent Prue to us. She wanted us to protect her--- she *knew* we would protect her. And that *you* would be watching over her".
Prue chose that moment to yawn, and open her eyes lazily. As her little arms and legs waved around, she seemed to battle the last droplets of sleep, and was soon staring at them, her blue eyes wide and curious.
"Do you think she knows?".
Cole's voice was barely a whisper, even if Prue was already awake. And the open question refered to so many things, that to any other would've seen incongrous. But to Paige, it made perfect sense.
"On some level, I think she does. But she also knows her father is here".
Father. The word seemed to echo around them, repeating itself endlessly, until it died away into the darkness.
And Cole felt as some of his guilt disappeared--- because Prue had been there for Phoebe, when he hadn't been. When he had quit on her, and left her for dead, their daughter had been there... and he *knew* Prue shared a connection with Phoebe that went beyond the usual mother-daughter link.
And he was afraid, afraid that now that he knew the truth, Prue would somehow hate him.
Slowly, hesitantly, fully expecting Prue to reject his touch, his hand touched the baby's chin. And her delicious smile, full of joy and so completely innocent, filled his heart with hope.
He had failed Phoebe--- and there was nothing he could do to change that. His heart ached at her memory, and his own mind chastised him every hour of the day. It would be something he would have to live for, every single day of his almost eternal life. He could only hope to atone for his sins by taking care of their daughter... the daughter he hadn't known he had, until a few hours ago.
{I'm sorry, Phoebe. I swear to you, no one will ever harm our little girl. I'll make sure she never feels the pain you and I have shared}.
And, as Prue grabbed his fingers with her little chubby hands and squeezed them strongly, Cole felt a connection awakening, inside of him, where Phoebe's presence resided. And he understood perfectly know, why Prue held a piece of his heart that up until then, belonged to Phoebe alone.
A connection to his daughter...
He took her from her crib, and cuddled her against his chest. And Prue burrowed deep into him, and sighed contentedly.
The three of them remained in silence, Paige feeling a little bit out of place, until Cole's eyes opened and looked at her from behind Prue's small body.
And in them, she saw all the gratitude she needed.
The last of the bonds was established, as the Witch, the Demon and the Child breathed in the darkness, waiting for the next day to come...
******************
Tbc....
next chapter, coming on March 2nd (just to be sure)
