Once again, thanks for all of the reviews. I still can't get over how many reviews I have gotten on this story. You guys are the best!
Chapter 10: Endings and Beginnings
Tony and Michelle met a week later for their regular Monday meeting. Neither of them mentioned their dinner conversation. Michelle wanted to ask Tony if things had settled down between he and Abby, but decided that she should stay out of it. The meeting itself was more tedious than usual. Not only did they have to review the week's intelligence reports, but they also had to work on their quarterly report which was due in three weeks. They were making little progress on it. It was already 6:30 and there was no end in sight. Tony stood and walked around his office to stretch. He opened the door to ask Becky to get some coffee before he remembered that she had gone home and hour and a half ago along with everyone else in the nearby offices.
"Tony, this is pointless," Michelle sighed. "We're not getting anywhere."
"Sometimes when Chad and I had trouble with this report we got together on a Saturday morning at my place and worked all day. After a couple of pots of coffee and a pizza or some subs, we usually got it finished. I hate to ruin a weekend for you, but maybe we should try that."
"I'm game. I'll do anything so that I don't have to work on it anymore tonight. Let me look my calendar." She pulled up her schedule on her laptop while Tony did the same. "I know next weekend is a holiday weekend, but I'm not busy on Saturday. Will that work for you?"
"No," Tony said shaking his head. "Abby and I are going out to Chicago to spend the holiday with my parents."
"That's nice. How are your parents doing?"
"They're doing well. I think my dad is finally going to retire next year."
"That's great. I'd have you tell them that I said 'hello', but I'm sure they don't really want to hear from me."
"They'd love to hear from you, Michelle. They always liked you and they never blamed you for our break up."
"I'm sure they like Abby just as well."
"Actually, they don't. They're nice to her, but she doesn't have as good a relationship with them as you did." Tony turned his attention back to his calendar. "So that weekend is out. Can you do it this Saturday?"
"No, I'm busy," she answered.
Tony smiled. "Got a hot date?" he asked, meaning only to tease her.
Michelle's eyes flashed with anger. "As a matter of fact, I do have a date!" Michelle said sharply. She turned away from him so he couldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. "I'm allowed to date, Tony. You're engaged; I'm certainly allowed to go out on a date now and then."
"Whoa! Whoa! Time out!" Tony exclaimed as he made a time out sign with his hands. "I was joking, Michelle. Of course you're allowed to date. I didn't mean anything by that."
Michelle barely heard him. She turned back toward him and again railed against him. "Do you know how hard it is for me to sit here with you week after week knowing that you love someone else? Do you know how much it hurts when I think about the fact that you go home and make love to her the way we used to? Do you have any idea how painful all of that is?" She snapped her laptop closed and grabbed her purse. She needed to get away from him.
Tony was stunned by her tirade. They desperately needed to talk, but he had to calm her down. He grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving. "Michelle," he started.
"Don't touch me!" she shouted and tried to jerk away from him.
"No!" Tony said emphatically. "What are you trying to say to me, Michelle?"
"Let go of me!" she cried. Tears now streaked her face as she struggled to get away from him.
He held both of her upper arms and pushed her gently but firmly against the wall. "No, not until you tell me what you are trying to say."
"I have nothing to say to you," she sobbed. Tony was standing very close now. Their bodies were touching and Michelle could feel the warmth radiating from him.
"Yes, you do. I think you're trying to tell me that you still love me. Is that what you're saying, Michelle? Do you still love me?"
"It doesn't matter! Let me go. I need to leave."
"Yes, it does matter. Look at me, Michelle. Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me?"
Michelle looked away biting her lower lip to keep it from quivering. She finally met his intense gaze and spoke softly, almost inaudibly. "I love you, Tony. Oh God! I never stopped loving you. I love you so much." She collapsed against him and he gathered her in his arms.
"Oh Baby, I love you, too," he whispered as his voice cracked with emotion.
He lifted her chin with his forefinger and pressed his lips to hers. They kissed urgently; their tongues wrestling. Tony could taste Michelle's tears. He used his thumbs to tenderly wipe them away. She caressed his face lightly then put her hands behind his head to pull him in closer. It felt so good to kiss her. He didn't want it to end. He pressed his body hard against hers and she moaned quietly. Tony slipped his hands under the jacket of Michelle's suit and allowed them to slide up the silky blouse she was wearing until he reached her breasts. He fondled them tenderly through her clothes and she groaned louder this time. He was hard and she could feel it. She moved her leg so that her thigh rubbed against him. This time it was his turn to groan. Tony found the top button on Michelle's blouse and started opening it. He wanted to take her right there. He imagined himself sweeping everything off of his desk and laying her down on it. She would wrap her legs around him and they would make love. God! How he wanted to make love to her! Reality quickly overcame him and he pulled away from her.
"I'm…I'm sorry. Michelle I shouldn't have done that," Tony said as he walked toward his desk. Michelle's eyes dropped to the telltale bulge in his pants and he turned away self consciously.
"You just told me that you love me. Isn't that what you said?"
"I do love you, Michelle. I love you with all of my heart, but I'm engaged to someone else and this isn't fair to her. I may not love her the way I love you, but I do respect her and I won't cheat on her."
"So…so, what does this mean?"
"It means that I need to talk to Abby," he sighed. "I need to break off our engagement."
"Tony, I'm sorry. I never meant to complicate your life. I took the job at Langley because I just couldn't be away from you any longer. I hoped when I took the job that you wouldn't be involved with anyone. I never meant to hurt anyone. When I found out that you were engaged, I thought I could handle it. I thought I could just do my job and go home at night, but I couldn't."
"I know how you feel. Since you came to my apartment that day, you're all I could think about. It's affected my relationship with Abby and we both knew it. I don't think this is going to come as a surprise to her."
"Will you talk to her tonight?"
"No, she's teaching a class to FBI recruits at Quantico. I won't do this over the phone. She'll be home on Saturday. I'll talk to her then."
Michelle nodded; there was nothing more to say. She had finally declared her love for Tony and was happy that she had done so, but she regretted that she had put him in a terrible position. Even if he didn't love Abby, Tony was so sensitive that it would be difficult for him to break off his engagement.
Tony spent the rest of the week rehearsing what he would say to Abby when she got home on Saturday. They spoke on the phone every evening while she was gone. The conversations were short. They each asked about the other's day and talked about inconsequential things. Tony knew that he was quieter than usual. If Abby noticed or suspected anything, she didn't say it. By Saturday morning he still didn't have any idea what he was going to say to her. She would be home around noon and Tony was making lunch for them.
Tony kept himself busy in the kitchen most of the morning. He could feel his stomach churning as noon approached. Abby's knock on the door made him break out in a sweat.
"Hi Sweetheart," she said as he opened the door. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.
Tony returned the hug and kissed her lightly then stepped away.
Abby stood in the doorway, her brow furrowed in confusion. "I guess you didn't miss me," she said pointedly.
Tony looked at her. He had difficulty meeting her eyes. "Of course I missed you. I just don't want the eggs to burn," he said as he turned toward the kitchen. Abby could see that the table was set. What she didn't know was that Tony had been nervously setting the table at 7 o'clock that morning. "Sit down. I'll bring the food out."
Tony came out of the kitchen with two steaming plates piled high with a western omelet and home fries. He stepped back into the kitchen and returned with toasted English muffins and a carafe filled with coffee. Bowls of fruit sat at each of their places.
"Looks good," Abby commented. "You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."
"It wasn't any trouble," Tony said quietly. There was a lull in the conversation while they both started eating. Tony couldn't stand the silence any more. "How was Quantico?"
"It was okay. We talked about it on the phone. There's nothing else worth mentioning."
They both fell silent again. This time it was Abby who broke the silence. "So," she said, "that movie you wanted to see opens this weekend. Do you want to go tonight or do you just want to stay in and have a quiet evening?"
"I hadn't thought about it," Tony said trying to be noncommittal. He really didn't know how to tell her what he had to say.
Abby washed some eggs down with orange juice. "Everything is delicious," she told him.
"Thanks," he replied without looking up. Abby noticed that he was doing a lot more moving the food around on the plate than eating it.
"This isn't working anymore, is it, Tony?" Abby asked him.
"What isn't working?" he asked taken by surprise by her question.
"Us. Our relationship. It used to be wonderful, but it's not any more. We can't even have a comfortable conversation any more and our love life is virtually nonexistent."
Tony got up from the table and walked over to her. He took her hand in his. "Abby, I feel like this is all my fault. I never meant to hurt you. I care for you very much."
"You care for me, but you don't love me, is that right?"
Tony closed his eyes and nodded silently. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"It's okay," Abby said emotion filling her voice as she turned and walked away. "I guess I knew this was coming. I knew it from the day Michelle came back into your life. You never stopped loving her and as long as she was 3000 miles away, that was alright, but once you had to see her on a regular basis, I knew I was going to lose you."
"I thought I had her out of my system, Abby. I swear I did. I never would have asked you to marry me if I thought that I loved her as much as I do."
"And she feels that same way?" she asked as tears began to fall from her eyes.
"It doesn't matter how she feels. It's wrong for me to marry you knowing that I love someone else more than I love you. You deserve someone who loves you more than anyone else in the world. You shouldn't be playing a close second to anyone. What I did to you was wrong and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."
Abby took the diamond and ruby ring Tony had given her from her finger and handed it back to him. "Here, this is yours," she said quietly.
"No," he replied shaking his head, "it was my gift to you."
Abby nodded and slipped the ring into her pocket. "I guess I should go now."
Tony nodded not knowing what else to say. Abby picked up her purse and he walked her to the door. "Abby, you are a wonderful person and, more than anything, I want you to be happy."
Abby tried to smile at him, but couldn't. She opened the door and walked slowly away and out of his life as Tony watched. Once she had turned the corner and was out of his sight, Tony closed the door and leaned heavily against it. He felt terrible about what he had just done. He remembered how badly he felt when he left Jen but this was much worse. He had to leave her to save himself. He didn't love her and had never professed to loving her. He also knew that Jen could easily pick up and move on. And he was right. He still heard from her occasionally and he was happy when she told him that she was taking his advice. She was taking courses at community college and was dating a guy she met there. This was very different. He was leaving Abby for another woman; a woman he had loved for years. After repeatedly telling Abby that he loved her, now he had broken her heart. Tony knew in the long run that what he did was right but at the moment it was painful. He sighed and walked back to the kitchen to clean up hoping that would take his mind off of Abby.
Once he finished cleaning up, Tony looked for something else to do. He tried reading, but found that he couldn't concentrate, so he ended up channel surfing hoping to find a sporting event that interested him. He kept looking at the clock. He wanted to call Michelle, but knew that she had a date. At 7 o'clock, he decided to take a drive hoping that the cool evening air would clear his head.
Tony got into his SUV and drove off. After passing a couple of restaurants, he decided that he was hungry. He stopped at the next fast food place and went in to have some dinner. That only wasted about 20 minutes and soon he was back on the road again. It wasn't long before he found himself on the way to Michelle's apartment. He pulled into the parking lot and parked his car at the far end under a tree where he was unlikely to be noticed. Michelle's car was parked directly in front of her building. Maybe she was home. Maybe she hadn't gone out on that date that she talked about. The only time he had talked to her since their meeting last Monday was during their Thursday conference call. That call had been strictly business; neither of them mentioned what happened in his office.
Tony sat in his car and counted the windows trying to figure out which apartment belonged to Michelle. Depending on how they were numbered, he had it narrowed down to two and both of those were dark. So either Michelle was still out or she and her date didn't need to have any lights on in the apartment. Tony cringed at that thought. He also thought it very unlikely. She had declared her love for him a few days ago and he didn't think she would have more than a friendly date tonight.
Tony wasn't sure what to do next. It was 9:30. He knew that he should go home and call Michelle in the morning, but he didn't think he could live another night without her. His love for her was so all consuming that he wanted to be with her, to touch her, to kiss her, as soon as he could. He finally decided to wait. It was stupid and he knew it. She might not be home for hours. It also seemed a little creepy, almost like he was stalking her, but at the moment he could justify it by telling himself that she loved him as much as he loved her and she wanted to be with him, too.
His patience was rewarded less than an hour later. It was about 10:20 when a car pulled into the lot and parked in front of Michelle's building. A man got out of the driver's seat and walked around to help someone out of the passenger seat. Even in the low lighting of the parking lot, Tony knew it was Michelle. He knew by the way she carried herself and how her hair bounced when she walked. He didn't have to see her face to know that it was her.
She and her date went into the building. In less than a minute Tony could see lights in Michelle's apartment windows. Now all he had to do was to wait for Michelle's date to leave. He hoped that it wouldn't be too long. Now that he was this close to her, he could barely contain himself. He was pleased when within ten minutes Michelle's date exited the building, got into his car and drove away. Tony waited until the man's car was well out of sight before he got out of his own car, walked up to Michelle's apartment and nervously knocked on the door.
Michelle was happy to be home. She probably should have cancelled her date but James was a nice guy and she hated to do that. Besides that, it wasn't just the two of them. They had a day trip planned with another couple, so if she cancelled, she would have ruined the day for all of them. She should have had a good time today, the four of them had gone to the Virginia Wine Festival, but in truth, all she could think about was Tony. She knew that Abby was coming home today and she wondered what Tony had said to her. She desperately wanted to call him but decided against it. He would call her when he was ready.
Michelle kicked off her shoes and started toward her bedroom. She doubted that she would sleep very well, but she was going to bed anyway. She was about to get undressed when she was surprised by a knock at her door. Her first thought was that James was having car trouble and came back to her apartment. She looked through the fisheye in the door and was surprised to see Tony standing on the other side. She simply couldn't open the door fast enough.
"Tony," she said breathlessly. "Hi. What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. I'm sorry I didn't call first," he said as he walked into her apartment.
"Did you talk to Abby?" Michelle asked.
Tony nodded. "This afternoon," he said. "It's over." He said nothing more, but reached out for her.
Michelle stepped toward him. She could feel herself shaking. He pulled her toward him and into a slow, intense kiss. They both groaned softly as their lips met. The kiss was long and passionate. Tony reached behind Michelle's head and took down her hair. He let his hands run through it and let the tendrils coil around his fingers.
"I love you so much," he whispered. He began kissing her again before she could answer him.
They slowed down momentarily in order to catch their breath then Tony allowed his mouth to move down to her neck. Michelle let her hand slide down along Tony's arm until she reached his hand. Their fingers entwined and she wordlessly led him to her bedroom. There they continued to kiss and began undressing each other. They undressed slowly and almost shyly, as if they were doing so for the first time. They weren't in a hurry; no one would ever separate them again. They had all the time in the world. As each piece of clothing was removed, the now bare skin was tenderly kissed and stroked. Neither spoke a word, but both were quietly, constantly vocalizing their pleasure.
Eventually they shed all of their clothes. Michelle again took Tony's hand and led him the few steps to the bed. He sat her on the edge of the bed and knelt down in front of her. He gently pushed her legs apart and lowered his mouth onto her. She lay back on the bed, her feet still on the floor and pushed her pelvis up into him. They both groaned loudly as his tongue gently teased her. Michelle was in constant motion beneath him, her hips rotating madly against him. He tried to slow her down not wanting her to climax too quickly, but it was pointless. She was hungry for his touch and right now she couldn't get enough of it.
"More! More!" she begged in single word pants. "Oh, Tony!" she cried and he felt her entire body tense up and then release into waves of spasms. She finally relaxed, but shuddered at his every touch or kiss. Tony climbed up on the bed with her. Michelle was still trying to get her breath. She smiled at him and then leaned into his mouth. She wanted more of his kisses and he didn't disappoint her. Her hands worked their way down his body and she wrapped them around him and stroked him.
"I want to feel you inside of me," she hissed seductively into his ear.
Tony reached for his pants that lay in a heap on the floor and began rummaging through the pockets.
"What are you doing?" Michelle asked him.
Tony rolled back toward her. "Getting this," he said showing her the condom in his hand. "I won't do to you what Bill did."
Michelle took it from his hand and threw it to the floor. "You're not using that. I want you to feel me the way you're supposed to feel me: with nothing between us. Besides, if I were to become pregnant with your child, I'd be the happiest woman on earth."
Tony pulled her back into his arms and they resumed kissing. He climbed on top of her and pushed gently inside of her. Soon they were pounding out a rhythm that they could scarcely sustain. They both moaned incessantly. They climaxed almost simultaneously and lay exhausted and sweating in the middle of the bed. They lay still for a long time before Tony slid off of her. As he rolled onto his back, he pulled Michelle on top of him. She smiled knowing that he wanted more and she was happy to oblige him. They made love again and afterward lay on their sides facing each other with arms and legs tangled lovingly.
"Tony, I was wrong for leaving you. I…" Michelle started.
"Stop, Michelle. I didn't give you much choice. You did what you had to do. It's in the past. It's over. We both made mistakes, but it's time to forget them and move forward. I don't want to talk about the past any more. I want to talk about our future."
Michelle kissed him softly to thank him. They snuggled close and drifted off into the most peaceful sleep either of them had enjoyed in years.
I considered ending the story here but I came up with an idea that wasn't included in my original outline. I decided to add three or four more chapters to develop that idea. I hope that it doesn't end up ruining the original story.
I should be able to post the next chapter in a few days. Hope you'll continue the journey with me!
