Chapter Three: Guitar Solo
Three in the morning. The house it's quiet, except for the noise at my room. I should be sleeping you know, but there's no other time for me to practice, so here I am.
Shu asked me the other day how was I doing with my new guitar. To be honest I should have told him that I hadn't even touched it because I've been studying, but the smiling face and the eyes full of hope made me lie. I told him that I was getting used to it and that I had learned some of the keys.
Stupid me. Shuichi would've probably been disappointed if I had told him the truth, but he would've understood. But noooo, I had to lie and he was so excited he said that this weekend we should practice together. Practice what? I can barely remember how to place my fingers to make a decent sound, not to mention they hurt.
Well, I shouldn't complain, after all he wasted all his savings to buy it for my birthday. Ah Shuichi, if only you knew I can't follow my dreams as easily you do...
I hear you laugh and describe how our first concert will be and see you write lyrics for our debut. Someday, you say, we'll be as famous as Nittle Grasper is. But we are just a couple of teenagers dreaming, and I can't help to feel bad for deceiving you, for letting you think I'll be there to impress the crowd.
I know I told you that I wanted to play the guitar. I swear I was honest all those times I stared at the music store with a hopeful look on my face, wanting to touch the instrument, wanting to learn how to play it. But it was just that, a dream.
You should've let it be. I was ok like that, dreaming. Now you've given me this, an opportunity to follow that dream. Don't you know you've given me the keys to my own doom?
I can't do it. Look at my brother. Yuuzi is free and he can do whatever he wants but I can't. Can't you see how different we are? No, of course you can't. Because you two are the same, careless and free. I'm not that brave.
If I follow you, I'll end up in this uncertain place, with no guaranties. You smile excited at it, but... I guess following my parent's expectations it's easier. And I know for certain that I'll be a good doctor if I follow that path.
Can't be their second disappointment, you know?
Now I feel stupid. Talking to Shuichi when he's not even here. Well, I guess that's better than talking to no one or to myself, but still... pretty stupid. Like standing alone in my room at four in the morning practicing guitar.
Why am I doing this? To please Shuichi like I study to please my mom and dad? Is it really me who wants to learn to play the guitar or is it he?
No, Shu is not like that. I guess that's why I'm here, fingers swollen and all. 'Cause Shu can see through my disguise and read me like the back of his hand. 'Cause he knows it was real when I almost cried when I saw my new guitar.
'Cause he knows sometimes at this hour I wake up and smile, thinking that one day at this hour we'll be celebrating our first single recording and maybe, just maybe I'll feel truly alive.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or any of it's characters.
A/N: Thanks to Guren (again, first one to review), HeavenGoddess, Kanilla, psychobread fish (yep, A book is about Yuki, I thought it was self explanatory) and DECP (I feel honored you put me in your C2 community).
Again, sorry if there are mistakes. Next: Interlude One: Yuki's dream.
