Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't even own a hair off their heads.
Author's Note: I just thought I'd come out and say, I'm not apologizing for this piece. I love it, and it's my masterpiece because I believe it is so much better than the ones I've written in the past. Despite a few errors in the timeline (for example, I've been told- as I can't remember, the little boy in the airport was probably closer to 8, than 1, but in this fanfic he's only looking at the pictures in the comic book, and not actually reading it, and I know on the show Seth and Anna never slept together), I hope you can take it at its face value. I hope you like it, and PLEASE review. Also, I appreciate constructive criticism, as I realize I have a tendency to use run-on sentences, or incomplete sentences to express thoughts. Anyways, enjoy!
Slightly Better People, On Just Another Day
A slightly stronger person- say Summer perhaps- might have handled things differently, but Anna is not that person. She can't be the girlfriend, let alone wife, that sits back and watches her significant other pine over somebody else.
Especially when that significant other is Seth Cohen, and she loves him, and he loves Summer.
Especially when the only reason he's staying with her, is out of a sense of guilt. Especially when they get drunk one night at Oliver's, and sleep together, and he whispers, "I love you, Summer" before passing out.
But even so it's hard to look at Summer, one year later, when she spots her from a distance at an airport terminal, on a rainy California day. Especially when she's not even there with Seth, but some guy who looks like he's probably on the water polo team, and shaves his chest in his free time. Especially when she's just as beautiful as Anna remembers her, and she realizes that if she gets any closer, she might just rip Summer's head off for leaving the best guy Anna's ever met. And especially, especially, when watching her brings back a lot of memories she would rather forget. But even so, she follows from a distance, fascinated by how the past is merging with the present before her very eyes, and finally Anna can do nothing but leave everything out for fate to play, and twist, and tangle to his liking. There is nothing she can do to change it, and oh, how she likes it so much better that way.
And it's ironic that it's when Anna has finally given up on destiny, and gone to the bathroom to freshen up one more time, that destiny finally decides to play her hand.
Across the terminal she can clearly see Summer, and her water polo new guy, 3 feet from where Anna had not only until recently been sitting, but where seconds prior Anna had been planning on returning to. And just like that, practically in slow motion, Anna can see the cards unfolding one by one as Summer turns away from the boy-toy-water-polo-player.
She has to grab a nearby chair as the images from memory begin again their never-ending race, driving circles through her mind, and Summer turns her head not her way, but his.
"Who's the father Anna?"
A slightly smarter person- say Ryan for example, might have known- and subsequently said, the perfect answer, but all Anna can come up with, is "just a guy." And really, she thinks, she means it, because she is grumpy, and sore, and tired, and is still replaying the airport scene over and over again in her head. And she's angry at Seth, no matter what she said then, because he couldn't even pay her one iota of attention that day when she and he had still been boyfriend and girlfriend, and Summer had still been "just a friend", and they were all playing video games, and she had walked off for a few minutes to go the bathroom. How could Seth miss something so monumental in his girlfriend's life, and why couldn't he sense that something had gone horribly, and dangerously awry in his own life, that day when she had quietly excused herself from them and walked into the bathroom?
She tells herself, no matter how calmly she opened her purse and extracted the pregnancy test she had driven 80 miles out of Newport to get (because nothing, scandal-worthy or not, in Newport goes unnoticed), that she had still been scared shitless on the inside, and that she had still had her boyfriend those few minutes while she anxiously awaited the results, but in her newly-broken heart, she knows she's lying. She never really had Seth, and as much as she would like to blame Summer- label her a backstabbing Blanche, she realizes that just this once it's the other way around. For the first time, it was the boy who stole Summer, his girlfriend be damned, and Anna was just the one unlucky enough to be "the girlfriend" in the unavoidable equation.
But for now, out of a sense of self-preservation, Anna tells herself Summer is a soul-sucking, man-eating demon as she digs into her tub of Cherry Garcia ice cream, and stares down at her mother defiantly.
Seth Cohen IS just a guy. A guy who got her completely, mind you, but the fact that he had been staring at Summer so longingly when Anna came out of the bathroom, is irrefutable proof. Because anyone, boyfriend or not, who wasn't "just a guy" would have noticed that the eyeliner she so carefully applied each morning had been reapplied crooked. Because even Summer had noticed, and given her a sidelong glance, but hadn't said anything.
Because he hadn't questioned her further when she broke-up with him, that very day.
Months from now, when she's lying emotionless on a hospital bed, Anna will come to the conclusion that between herself and Summer, Summer comes out the slightly better person: for keeping her end of the "Seth-must-decide-for-himself-on-his-own-bargain", for not calling Anna out, and for loving Seth enough to let him go to the airport to say good-bye to his ex, even with all of her own doubts and uncertainties about their relationship-even while knowing, that while she didn't know exactly what it was that Anna was keeping from them, that there was definitely a bigger motive for Anna's leaving three months before the school year ended, and that most likely- it involved her boyfriend. Summer was just too damn observant like that.
And now, as she watches Summer turn her head in slow-motion, she wonders if it would have changed her ultimate decision if Summer had asked about the eyeliner. If maybe, if her only actual friend- besides Seth, who was busy (or not so busy) playing the role of her boyfriend at the time, had asked her about the bags under her eyes, and why she had skipped the second half of school that day- she would have blabbed the whole story, and been done with it. Either had an abortion and gone on with her life like nothing at all had happened out of the ordinary (she's sure she's nowhere near the first newpsie jr. to end up in her situation), or…or, the alternative.
Would talking with Summer have given her the incentive to tell Seth? Because as horrible as she thinks it is that Seth hadn't been able to sense her turmoil that day when she was awaiting her fate in the bathroom, she thinks maybe it would have been worse if confiding in Summer had led to Summer losing the love of her life. And for a second Anna forgets that Summer is here in the airport with a different guy, and wonders if maybe, just maybe, karma has a way of working itself out, after all.
In the end, Anna can smile, because they've evened each other out. She is now a slightly better person, because she has let the love of the love of her life go. She left her son in the watch of her father, to go the bathroom, and she left him there without her, when she knew Summer would see him there, with his comic book and Captain Oates Junior, and take him as meaningful.
She feels herself blending into the background, and imagines she is just a stranger, watching a dark haired girl, and a light haired guy tearfully hug, before they break-apart and the dark haired girl begins to run in the opposite way of the runway. She imagines this detachment is what growing up must feel like: realizing, and taking responsibility for the effects of your actions, and letting go when you realize that sometimes the people you love are better off without you.
She prepares herself for boarding a plane back to Pittsburgh-they had been visiting the very aunt and uncle Anna had been living with, just a year ago- but now it was time to go home. She leaves the bathroom doorway and walks back to her father, and to her son Seth, and almost cheerfully, manages to get out,
"I'm back," before they head for the runway, and board the plane. She replies, "It is just another day," when her father, not paying attention behind his newspaper, inevitably asks what had taken her so long in the bathroom. It IS just another day, Anna tells herself, though she can't quite make herself believe it.
