Hip-Hop Wannabes

Summary: Kaiba is sick of losing duels to Yugi so he throws a contest....for RAPPING??? WTF? And what will happen when characters from Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho join in? Get ready for rapping battles and heavy cursing!!

Disclaimer: I don't Yu-Gi-Oh or the modified rap songs. And I don't own the word 'no-nos' from Venture Brothers. But there are some raps I did write that belong to moi.

Chapter 4: Midget has a Ballad...called Fly

Yugi Moto was ready. He was dressed up in his pink bunny Pjs (which will be further described later) and called out to his grandpa, "I'm ready to go!"
"Okay, okay. Let me turn off the porn video."
"The what?"
"The microwave!!" his grandpa yelled back, as if correcting himself. He hurried came out, rather flushed and distorted.
"Grandpa......your no-nos are hanging out." Yugi covered his giantic eyes-- a hard task for his tiny hands.
"URGH!!" Mr. Moto turned around and you know...well he...he...(Before I go and think about what his no-nos would look like Grandpa turns around again and I'm safe from those dirty thoughts.)
"Let's go!"
"Oh boy!" cried a retarded midget we know as Yugi. They stepped out and in an instant Yugi was freezing. "Grandpa! I told you I'd be chilly. This thong isn't keeping me warm at all!!"
"Nonsense!" Grandpa scoffed. "Someone will come by and warm your butt. Besides I designed that just for this occassion."
"Okay." he gave up, still cold. A shadow came up behind Yugi and a low, sexy voice went, "Hey Yugi. Your ass is cold, isn't it? Want me to warm it for you?"
Not caring, "Sure! My butt needs warmth from anyone!" Yugi let him whip his behind with an electric rope.
"Ow!!! Is this supposed to help?!"
"Shut up, you slave! I shall whip you harder the more you question me!!"
"YEOW!!!" Yugi cried. All the way, his grandfather whistled, oblivious to his relative's sceams. Not to aware of the world, is he? However people were noticing the SM material on the sidewalk and shuffled about elsewhere. But a couple pornographers pulled out cameras and captured the pricless material.
Out of nowhere, Anzu (or Tea) snatched the whip out of evil Kaiba's claws and snarled at him.
"You bitch, give me that back!" He snapped.
"Nya-nyah!" Anzu teased
"WHAAAT?! You dare mock Kaiba Seto?!?" He pounced at her and punched her in the chest. Her balloon boobs popped and the width in her chest VANISHED.
"Ahahahahahahaha!! You're like a pre-pubescent BOY! Ahahahaha!" Kaiba laughed hysterically, only to have balls kicked by a sobbing Anzu. "Goddammit!" He fell on his knees and cursed more in pain.
"You guys come on! I really have to get to my audition." He looked at them, embarassed. "Hey Anzu did you get a haircut or something? You look different." Kaiba fell over (in knowing of Yugi's stupidity.) Anzu, however, took the comment well and smiled. "Yeah I did a while back. Come on Yugi, let's get you to that audition room!!"
By now old gramps was long gone, a doggie following him. "You know, Yugi, you have been getting shorter lately." he smiled at the dog.

LATER

"So Yugi. What shall you be singing for us today?" Kagura asked.
"I'm singing Fly." Yugi had his 'PJs' covered up by a frilly cape-jacket.
"Fly?" Genkai tried to think of the song. "I don't know if I've heard that one. Go ahead."
"Do your best, Yugi!" his grandfather cheered.
Yugi smiled and began to sing in the worst off-key voice known to man (and monkeys!)

"Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday

Can you hear it KAAH-lling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take conTROLL?!!"

As he got ready for the chorus he ripped off his cape to reveal the dreaded bunny pajamas. It was an underbust corest with bunny patches sewn on, a see-through pink fishnet top, his nipples adorned with clip-on silver rings and a black vinyl thong that showed all off his freshly-whipped ass. He hopped on his TEN inch spike-heels. He turned around and shook his butt in front of the judges.

"FLYYYYY
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can SHINEIIIIIII!!
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly...."

He faced the judges again, two of which were relieved not to see that side of the duelist again. One was disappointed. (Who was this?)

All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something when there's
nothing left and the world's feeling hollow

Can you hear it KAAHH-lling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take con--"

"STOP!!!!!" cried Genkai and Kagura.
"I'd like to keep my eyesight, thank you." Genkai barked harshly. "What the bloodly hell was that?"
"It was Fly." Yugi said quietly, suprised by her curse.
"It wasn't even close to key... or hip hop. That was full-frontal pop. What idiot wrote that song?" Kagura scoffed.
"Hilary Duff- my idol."
"No wonder!! Are you some dipshit? Hilary Duff is the dreaded candy pop loser we all know and hate." Kagura noted.
"But she's my idol-"
"We know smarty. Idol. Whatever." Genkai pushed his beliefs away. "Why did you come here dressed like that?"
"Are you like some cross-dressing dime store stripper ho?"
"Ho?" Yugi's eyes watered.
"Hey!! I designed that piece myself! Don't make fun of it or Yugi!" his grandfather stood up angrily.
"You?? Have you lost it? He's your grandson and you made him wear THAT?!" Kagura argued.
"Your pornographer!! You even have a camera running in the back." Genkai yelled.
"To capture his moment of glory!" Moto Sr. defended.
"More like moment of virginity-loss!" Kagura shouted.
Yugi stood by as they fought. "So am I not going to the second round?"
"NO!!" Kagura and Genkai yelled. Yugi ran out. "You take him and give that kid some real clothes, you molester!!"

(Some American jail)

Michael Jackson: (sneeze) Hey! Some say mo-LES-ti-i-ing?" (sung)

---------------end of chapter 4----------------

Jina-chan: I am so sorry for the long pause! Lack of inspiration and bad math grades are all to blame. For those who waited forever, I hope this can be somewhat satisfying. If I ever take more that six weeks to update, it's probably because I forgot about this story so feel free to remind (or maim) me! If people could give ideas for later chapters it would be great! Big thankies to Sami for nagging me on to update this all.