Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, its characters, or its main plotline. I don't own the character Kai. He's happily owned by fellow writer, JC-Titans143.
I don't own the song "Behind Blue Eyes". It's owned by the musical gods known as The Who and their people.
Aki-note: Well, if you don't bother reading these notes of mine, you'll miss something. If you haven't been checking my LJ, you'd miss a lemon bonus. Yeah, it's posted now. And the italicized words in this chapter are clips, so to speak, from the bonus chapter.
Also, this chapter is Kai centric. Has it been bugging you not knowing who the hell this guy is? Well, I felt that way, so I guess we're even! Anywho, this chapter is all about Kai. Well, on to…the BONUS CUT!
They entered without anymore words after that, and once inside, it pretty much stayed that way. She absorbed what little he had in his home. Small and sullied, that's what she called a first impression.
Pushing aside some cushions, she took a seat on his worn out couch as he sat on a diner style chair across from her.
She had to admit, she was having a harder time now than she was two years back. She didn't know where to begin and truth be told, she really didn't want to say a thing about well, anything.
"Athrun, you always had this weird effect on me, ever since that time when we met on that stupid island. God knows why I still care, but even I'm not sure why anymore. I'm married and it's not right for me to…to have these feelings for some other guy."
She bit her lip as she hesitated on what to say next. Fiddling around with her thumbs, she avoided straight eye contact with him, not willing to crack under any sort of pressure he gave off for a certain response. He had her falling to pieces.
"Athrun, what is it about you that makes me want you back? What is it about me that makes you want me back?"
Athrun leaned on the back of the chair, his chin resting on his arms. "Well, Cagalli, I really don't know either. I just like you. Maybe it was just born to be a mutual feeling."
"Sounds plausible enough, but why did it have to be between you and me? Why could we just let go and stay that way? Why are you so special to me?"
"I honestly have no clue. But from what I can understand….you're not satisfied are you? You're not satisfied with Kai," Athrun said apathetically, somewhat pushing it, his emerald eyes staring into her frustrated golden ones.
"Satisfied? With Kai? Is all that you see in him and me is that I just use him? For comfort? That I loved him because he was my little toy? Kai is not my play thing, Zala! He's got feelings just like you and me!"
He glared now, shifting his position on his chair. "Then why do you love him so much? Why did you stay with him? Why did you marry him? Was it for ORB, again?"
Her fingers were literally stabbing, digging in to the cushions. "I married him because I loved him…"
"Are you sure about that? Then why are you here? You could've went home, back to him, if you really do love him, Cagalli."
Damn that Zala. "I didn't want to be in your debt. I wanted you to know everything, so that I could live a better, clean life without you. I mean, you told me didn't you?" She simply chuckled at the memory of his "explanation". "So there…"
"That can't be all. I know it."
"Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't you be satisfied with my reasons?"
"Because they're not true."
She stared at him, her grip on the pillow tightening, ready to throw it in his face. "Oh really, Athrun. How can you tell they're not true? What makes you so sure I'm lying?"
"Because you love me."
"What?"
"You love me," he said with a sigh, his eyes drooping as he rested his head on his arms. He was really tired and sure about what he'd done, he was going to bed now. That is until something rudely interrupted him.
His own pillow betrayed him.
Picking up his head, his eyes met her burning ones.
"Don't tell me that I love you. That's my job, you stinkin' bastard."
"Well then," he said softly, his head now resting on his hand, "Do you?"
"You were right, I guess."
Athrun picked his head up in shock. Cupping his own face, he had a priceless look on his face, screaming sarcastically, "Do my ears deceive me? Did you just admit you were wrong?"
She smiled. "Oh, shut up and let me finish. I did marry Kai for ORB's sake. But did you ever notice him? I mean take a really good look at him? Every bit of him reminded me of you. Yeah, the appearance was somewhat off…"
Raising his left eyebrow, he responded asking, "Somewhat off?"
"Ok, ok. Totally off. But still, his personality screamed you. And that's what bugged me. I could have you because I left you and I hate begging for things back, so went out for the next best thing, alright? I stayed with him and married him because I thought you were lying to me these past years. I thought you were still with Mia."
"Mia? I told you already, I haven't seen her since the last war!"
"Yeah, that's what you said, but I never chose to believe it, Zala. I hate believing guys like you. You always make false promises."
He frowned at the confession on her part. Lying? False promises? But she was wrong on one part. "Cagalli…"
She looked up to him, her glassy eyes threatening to tear very soon. "What?"
"There's one promise I have yet to fulfill."
"Oh really? What might that be?"
"When you told me to get out of your house, I promised myself that I wouldn't stop loving you. So, all I need to fulfill this promise is you." He stood from his seat and reached a hand out to her. "Will you let me love you?"
Hesitation again. She could only swear that he was rubbing off her, literally. She couldn't do this to Kai, but if what he said was right, she was only using him. That was worse than what she was about to do now.
"So," he whispered, playing with a strand of her damp blonde hair. "How was that for 'forgive me'?"
She lay silent on his beating chest, her head rising with each breath of his.
And he couldn't help but smile….but at the same time, he had to tell her…
And as tired as he was, he didn't want to dwell on those thoughts, especially after such a beautiful connection with her.
Chapter 14 - Behind Blue Eyes
No one knows what it's like
He woke up to constant ringing and his initial reaction would be to smash whatever it was that produced that irritating noise. But he didn't wish to wake his partner.
He moved his arm beneath the sheets to feel around for her. No such sign. His sagging eyes began to flutter open, hoping to find her.
Nowhere to be seen.
To be the bad man
"Must've went out for a jog," he thought silently, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, picking himself up away from the pleasure-soaked mattress.
To be the sad man
He pushed away the covers and went for a quick shower, down for breakfast, and went for a head start to his meetings to spend the rest of the day with Cagalli when she got home.
Behind blue eyes
Something about this day screamed special. He wasn't quite sure if it was good special, or bad. He just knew it was special.
Walking around Morgenroete, Kai began to examine the new sets of mobile suits, the majority of them being M1 Astrays. Not that these machines still needed to be built, but, in any case, they were.
No one knows what it's like
He gazed up at a lone standing M1 and smirked. That was his suit and it's been a while since he had used it. "Six years? Four? Man, it's been a while since I used you, hasn't it?"
To be hated
The MS had been out of commission for quite some time. He simply kept it for show and memories of his time in the ORB military, under his wife's control.
To be fated
It was because of this one MS, the machines that were thought to only cause destruction, that he met love.
To only telling lies
He had met Cagalli with the help of this MS. He remembered it well.
FLASHBACK
But my dreams
"Dammit, protect the Archangel!" she commanded, gripping the controls in her grasp.
She was aboard the Kusanagi at the time, with fellow commander, Lednoir Kisaka, her former personal bodyguard.
And she was stuck in a middle of a war, her second one to be exact.
They aren't as empty
The Archangel was taking some critical damage and the Kusanagi was the only ship to help it. Strike Freedom was off fighting its own battle, and the other mobile suits on their side were too busy protecting Eternal.
"Shit…" she muttered as she watched the Archangel beginning to fall. "Get one of the Eternal's mobile suits to protect the Archangel!"
"We can't contact them! The signal breaks at every attempt," claimed a soldier on the bridge.
As my conscience seems to be
She was starting to panic. Never had a situation such as this ever occurred in battle and she didn't have a plan of action.
She saw the Archangel falling back, getting pursued by enemy ships, and she couldn't do one thing about it.
And in all the confusion and chaos, she was too caught up in her allies to realize an enemy mobile suit stopping them in their tracks.
I have hours, only lonely
Her eyes grew wide as it struck her in realization that this was the end for her and her crew. Kusanagi was going down.
The enemy mobile suit pointed its gun straight at the bridge and her heart beat faster and faster.
"Cagalli sama…what should we do?" Kisaka asked, hopelessly staring into the eye of their beholder.
My love is vengeance
She sighed, tears welling up in her eyes, and she stared at death head on. "There's nothing we can do, Kisaka…"
She watched as the gun was preparing fire.
"I'm so sorry, father…"
That's never free
The next thing she expected was an explosion, and she sure as hell got one.
But not on her.
No one knows what it's like
She winced as the bright explosion erupted before her, and once the debris flew away, she saw him…
It was an ORB M1 Astray standing before them. It was beat down, left arm missing, right leg completely disintegrated, but still standing as proud as ever.
To feel these feelings
She immediately came back to her senses and asked, "Who is the pilot of the MS?"
Kisaka tapped a few buttons on the computer and picked up some data on…
"His name is Kai Takahashi."
She eyed the suit as it began to fly back into battle…but not before he sent a brief message for her.
"I'll protect you…"
Like I do, and I blame you
He won her over for sure, all the while not meaning to.
As soon as the battle ended, she asked the commander of the ship that owned his MS to bring him to the Kusanagi.
And, as any loyal soldier, he followed his orders and flew to the legendary battle ship.
No one bites back as hard on their anger
He floated from out of the cockpit and found Cagalli, escorted by Kisaka, up on the stairwell.
And when he got a better view of the girl, he never noticed how pretty she looked up close, and he felt a blush crawl up to his cheek. "D-did you wish t-to speak to me, Miss Athha?"
None of my pain and woe can show through
At the word "Miss", she wanted to slap him. But she couldn't do that, could she? Instead, she simply frowned. "Don't call me that. It's just Cagalli from here on, do you understand?"
Sheepishly, he nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
But my dreams
"Good." She smiled at him; he was so nervous speaking with her it was really comical. The first thing she noticed was his fierce blue eyes and his sleek, ruffled brown hair, his goofy boyish smile, and an extra something she couldn't figure out.
They aren't as empty
The next thing she did was unexpected and very unlike a princess. She jumped at him and hugged him, her force of impact pushing them back against the rails. Her face was buried in his chest and her arms were locked around him.
As my conscience seems to be
Through his flight suit, he felt wetness touch him. She was crying. Under deep concern, he looked at Kisaka, who in turn was too busy with injured soldiers to care much for now, then he looked back down at the girl in his arms. "Umm…Cagalli?"
I have hours, only lonely
She didn't budge, so he just gave up trying to pry her away, even with the odd glances directed towards them. He ran his fingers through her hair, soothing her uneasy figure. "It's alright Cagalli…it's over now…I can protect you…"
END FLASHBACK
My love is vengeance, that's never free
He sighed at the memory. It was nothing but sweet joy since then. He worked hard to move up his ranks in the military until he was the head of it all. He never became a representative; he wasn't related to anyone in the royal families. But he did manage to be good enough to be even allowed to marry the princess, and he was proud of all his hard work to achieve his happiness.
When my fist clenches, crack it open before I use it and lose my cool
He glanced at his watch. 3:00.
"Already? Well, Cagalli should be home by now."
When I smile, tell me some bad news before I laugh and act like a fool
He jumped into his convertible and rushed through traffic to get home. He was eager to tell her how much he loved her.
If I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat
He passed by the beach and watched as lovers walk by the shoreline, hand in hand.
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
He remembered when he and Cagalli had opportunities such as those. He remembered the first time. But beaches weren't his favorite memories.
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No, he always favored his M1 Astray. Why?
No one knows what it's like
During the aftermath of the war, shortly after that little hug, he went back to work, fixing, modifying, doing whatever to his Astray. She came back to visit him. Well, to actually give him a snack. It was like three in the morning, he didn't blame her.
FLASHBACK
She floated over to the cockpit, sliding her head in for a peak. "Kai?"
His head popped out from under the controls and it startled the girl, bringing her back. He reached out a hand and grabbed her before she had a head on collision with something. "Cagalli, it's late. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
She frowned immediately. Gee, a lot of things made her mad, huh? That was a lesson he learned the hard way. "Don't you tell me when to go to bed, soldier."
He gave her one of his goofy grins. "Well sorry."
END FLASHBACK
To be the bad man
He remembered. After that, she looked around and so did he. No one in site. He pulled her in the cockpit and well, they just ended up doing it.
Now you get why he kept his Astray?
To be the sad man
Sighing, he opened the door to their home and noticed everything was just as he had left it.
He caught Mana, rushing around and about as usual. "Mana, has Cagalli come home yet?"
The plump lady shook her head furiously and shook his hand away. "No, sir."
Kai frowned at excused the lady off.
"Where are you, Cagalli?"
Behind blue eyes
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego…er…I mean Cagalli? Well, now I hope you can understand more about Kai and Cagalli through that. I just had to include the "Well sorry" line. Much love to Athrun, episode 24 in SEED! Sorry, that scene was rewinding itself in my head.
So, yeah, hope you understand Kai a little better.
Now, I command you all to be heard and REVIEW! lol
