Final instalment before Hope comes out. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is a worldwide phenomenon. So would any one seriously believe that a teenage girl owned him?
Summary: Love at second sight? Sounds silly doesn't it? That if you looked at someone again – Someone you'd known five years- a friend. That you would see so much more. –Harry-
I'm different I know that. Always have been always will be. You just have to look at my track record. Prophecy, saved the world, freak in primary school, wizard, escaped Voldermort, escaped Voldermort, escaped Voldermort, escaped Voldermort, freak in wizarding school, lost godfather, escaped Voldermort. It goes on. Life goes on. It always has. But not this time. This time it's different. This time it wasn't my fault. Hey life's full of firsts.
First sight.
My first sight of Ginny Weasley? On the platform, I remember. She was ten maybe but she seemed so much younger. A whole different generation, and so she remained, even after she came to Hogwarts.
I don't think I saw her as a separate person like I saw the other Weasleys. She was more an accessory of Ron's like a hat he wore every so often. It pains me to say it but it's true. I didn't notice her. In the chamber with the snake I don't reckon I was fighting to save her as an individual. I was fighting to save the Weasleys as a family because I knew how it would devastate them. I didn't know her then. I don't remember her much. The memories I have of her are more recent. More up to date. I remember her being shy. But I guess that must have just been around me. I mean she's so popular now she must have been then, right?
Second sight.
So I looked again. It took me long enough. Five years, five years I've known her and now in my sixth year now I realise. She isn't just Ron's little sister. I know that now. We talked, over the summer. When I say talked I mean I talked and she listened. She's a good listener. I only just found out. I should have looked sooner.
So now I looked what did I see. Enough. I saw what I'd missed out on. This beautiful young woman who was smart honest and… deadly with a wand. She makes me so happy and yet she makes me so sad.
Love.
It took me a while to get there but yeah I realised. It was love I felt for Ginny. Love. And it scared the crap out of me. I couldn't be in love with someone, look where I got Sirius just by loving him. I can't do this. I couldn't let her know. Not now. When my life's so screwed up and hers is so good. No I should wait, wait till all this is over. Listen to me I almost sound Hopeful.
Hope.
How can I hope for anything? With my life so screwed up. How can I hope? I hope that Ginny still loves me if she ever did. I hope I manage to kill Voldermort. I hope that Hermione and Ron get together (I'm not blind.) I hope no one else dies for me. I hope that Ginny doesn't get hurt. I hope I can get through this. I hope. Empty hope.
I could say I hoped it would all work out, I mean there's always hope. But that would be a lie. I'm sick of lies I'm sick of destiny. I'm sick of life. And I'm sick of hope.
So right now there is no hope for me.
And so the last line of all the stories begins to make sense. I have to say I'm super stressed because I've got final exams and the final performance of my play coming up and I haven't revised or rehearsed for any of it. So the story will be along in a while but not very soon.
And guys i'm really sorry about the wait!
-XxPTxX-
