This story is rated M…but hasn't really been until now…so as always…read responsibly!
And a continued thank you for everyone's kind words...glad you're enjoying...I am too!
"Just to let you know, Severus," Albus said as he entered his office. "Both women are in Madam Pomfrey's care…and are… behaving themselves."
Severus wanted to smirk at his comment but couldn't.
Albus sat down at his desk and leaned back in his leather chair. "Now," he said. "I believe there is something you want to tell me."
Severus remained silent.
Lowering his glasses to look over them at his Potions teacher, Albus said, "Severus, what you were about to do carries the highest penalty. I must know the reason behind it otherwise I can't help you."
"I accept the consequences," Severus said simply.
"Are you going to make me do this the hard way?" Albus asked.
Silence.
"Very well then. You leave me no choice."
Severus prepared for his mind to be invaded by Albus, knowing the older wizard was much too strong for even his occlumency ability, not bothering to try to fight.
Albus was not surprised at the images in Severus' mind. The past ten years flew by his vision with a blur but not so fast that he didn't understand what was happening. It was exactly as he thought.
"Why did you not come to me when she threatened you?" Albus asked. "Severus, I have been many things to you but the first and foremost has always been a friend that genuinely cared about you."
Embarrassed that Albus knew the entire truth, Severus kept his eyes in his lap. "Everything spiraled out of control," he answered.
"I'd say," Albus agreed. "More than once. Do you realize what would have happened if you had performed that curse? You'd be in Azkaban right now and would probably never see the light of day."
"I understand."
"I will help you with Milinda," he continued.
"No please don't say anything…"
"Severus," Albus warned. "I will help in my own way." He leaned forward. "Look at me."
Reluctantly, he lifted his gaze to meet the older man's.
"Tell me you love her."
"What? I don't love her!" Severus argued, assuming he was referring to Milinda.
Albus raised an eyebrow. "We both know I'm not talking about Milinda," he said slowly. "Tell me you love her and I will never speak of this moment again." Having seen the intimacies of the teacher's mind, Albus knew there was love, having wished it for Severus for many years, and not about to let him push away the very thing he wanted.
Severus glanced around the room, his heart pounding. He was ready to accept the consequences of his actions but now Albus was willing to let it go with just three simple words. He'd never said them, not to anybody in his life. Love was allusive to him, a dream that he would never be allowed to have nor the capability to have.
And yet his thoughts and feelings were intense for Hermione and had been for years. Isn't that why he gave her his mother's pendant again? Love? And the same reason he'd given it to her in the first place? And the same reason he held her as he'd never held any woman? Isn't that what had evolved from their friendship?
When she left, he wasn't the same. When she came back, he'd hoped they might have a second chance if it hadn't been for his screw up with Milinda. To be near Hermione again, to touch her, catch the scent of her hair, allow himself to relive the memories and remember how beautiful life had been for three years, drastically opposite from of every other year in his life. He couldn't imagine having it taken away from him a second time.
It had to be love. What else was it?
Dark eyes met crystal blue.
Severus inhaled deeply as Albus waited patiently.
"I love her."
It was a whisper.
It was enough.
Hermione was laying on the couch, watching the fire pop and crackle before her, lost in thought about the day's events. She hadn't wanted him there but ended up being thankful he was. There was no telling what that demon woman would have done to her. She shuddered at the thought, still shaking her head in disbelief. Those poor students, she thought. I wonder how they are.
Her ankle ached but would be okay, only having to remain in the hospital wing a couple hours, and was quite happy to leave Milinda laying in bed, still not able to see yet. She wondered what happened when he'd made her leave, wondered if he was all right, wondered if she should go see Albus. This was out of control and was now involving the students and that was unacceptable.
It was one thing for the witch to approach her when she was alone in the hallway or threaten her behind closed doors. It was something else to attack her in front of students hiding behind 'sparing' as an excuse. The throbbing of her ankle said the trip to his office could wait.
A knock on her door made her jump. Great, she thought as she got up slowly, wincing, and limped over to the door.
Severus was standing there.
"Are you all right?" Hermione asked instantly. "What happened?"
She closed the door behind him as they made their way to the couch.
"How is your ankle?" he asked.
"It's fine," she answered. "Just a little sore. Tell me what happened!"
He could lie or at least not tell her the whole truth but decided it wasn't really what he wanted to do. "When you left," he began slowly. "I released her from the spell. We had a couple…unpleasant things to say to each other and then I…"
Hermione noticed he wasn't finishing his sentence. "You what?" she prompted.
He looked down at his hands and then into her brown eyes, the eyes that he wanted to see more than any others. "I prepared to use the… 'avada kedavra' curse on her," he said quietly.
With a small gasp, a hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god, Severus," she said. "You didn't!" Did she hear him right? That curse was the worst of all curses as it was instant death. The sentence for such a crime was life in Azkaban. She'd never thought he was capable of that.
"No," he said. "Albus walked in…as my wand was in the air…and stopped me…taking her to the hospital wing. I had to meet him in his office afterwards."
"What's he going to do?" she asked, certain that Albus would attempt to help him.
"We…talked," he told her. "And will never speak of the incident again."
Hermione stared at Severus at he sat on the couch, staring at his hands. There was something very wrong with this picture if he had been ready to kill. It wasn't like him at all. There had to be something going on that she didn't know about. "Were you really going to…kill her?" she asked.
He glanced up at her question. "Yes," he answered.
She shook her head. "You know the penalty for that."
"I do."
Reaching over and taking one of his hands, holding it in hers, she asked, "Severus, what is so bad that Azkaban is the chosen option?"
Feeling her soft hands around his, his eyes lifted to hers. "Milinda," he answered.
"Can't you just tell her it isn't working between you?" she asked. The answer seemed so simple to her. "Maybe she'd be angry but really…this is getting a bit out of hand."
He shook his head. "It's not that simple," he told her.
"Why is it not simple?"
Tell her, he told himself. Tell her now so she'll understand.
"Two reasons," he answered. "My job and my life."
Sitting closer to him, Hermione said, "Severus talk to me, please."
He sighed. "She's holding the knowledge of…our past…over my head," he explained. "And the knowledge of…my real father. She can take away my job and my life with the snap of her fingers."
Hermione's heart broke, hearing his words and realizing what had been forcing him to put up with her antics. "Oh god," she said softly. "She's blackmailing you."
"Precisely."
"Why didn't you go to Albus when it first happened?"
"Because it was my own fault," he answered. "And because…I didn't think I'd ever see you again…so it didn't really matter."
Silence surrounded them, only the sound from the fire making any noise. Neither knew what to say or how to proceed. There was so much that needed to be said and explained and addressed and yet neither wanted to say anything.
"I must go," Severus finally said, rising from the couch. "I wanted to make sure you were all right."
"You don't have to go," she told him, following him to the door.
"Yes I do," he said reaching for the doorknob when she pulled his arm. He turned to see her lifting the pendant from under her robe. "You are wearing it," he said quietly.
"Since Christmas Day," she answered with a smile.
He smiled slightly and then left.
Winter melted into spring as snow disappeared and bright flowers grew, the bare trees growing full and green again. NEWTs revisions were complete which Hermione was grateful for, and she and Primrose were able to revisit their garden spot on Thursday afternoons, enjoying the warm sun once again.
"I heard about the sparring match," Primrose said. "Are you all right?"
Hermione smiled, not surprised the story had made its rounds. "Yes I'm fine," she answered. "It just got a bit…out of hand."
"Albus should ban her from teaching here," Primrose said. "Losing it in front of the students like that…honestly. Some teacher!"
Albus had a chat with Milinda when she recovered from the spell, informing her that he would be starting an investigation into her background and told her that if he heard of one more outburst from her, that she would be fired on the spot.
Hermione still received looks but it seemed to slow her down at least. Without occlumency lessons or revisions to work on, she didn't see as much of Severus either. Of course, all teachers were busy preparing finals as they were not very far away.
One night as she stood at her window, gazing out over the grounds, Hermione became lost in memories as she did so often since her return. It was near impossible to walk two feet in any direction without having a memory reach up and grab her, wisking her away to another time. She missed her friends, especially Harry, Ron and Ginny but knew she would see them again one day, hopefully soon.
As her thin nightgown blew around her body from the breeze through the window, she remembered one night in particular with great fondness.
"Why are you up so late?" he asked as she entered his office.
"I couldn't sleep," she answered. "And I wanted to see you. Is that so wrong?"
He smiled, putting his quill down. "No," he said. "Not wrong at all."
She walked over and sat in his lap as she often did, noticing the papers he was grading. "Anything I can help with?" she asked. It looked like second year potion papers and since she was in her final year, she figured she knew enough to help if he needed it.
"No, it's quite all right," he said, his arms around her. "I'd rather grade you."
The huskiness of his voice sent shivers down her spine. "That's not fair," she said.
"What?"
"When you do that…with your voice," she answered.
Purposely doing it this time, Severus asked, "What am I doing with my voice?"
She laughed and playfully hit his arm. "Stop!" she protested. "It's the way you talk…how you accent your words…that deep voice…the way you can…almost growl when you speak. It's not fair!"
He reached for her hair, gently revealing her ear, and pulled her against his chest. "You should hear me in the black of night," he whispered.
Feeling his breath tickle her ear, feeling goose bumps instantly rise on her entire body, she faced him and said, "Now that was really mean."
"Are you saying you want me stop then?" he teased.
Gazing into his dark eyes, she instantly knew the answer to a question that had plagued her for months. "No I don't want you to stop," she said quietly, her playfulness replaced by desire.
Severus noticed the difference in her expression. "Not at all?" he clarified, caressing her face.
"Not at all," she reaffirmed, leaning in for the kiss she craved. She didn't give a damn anymore about the fact she was a student involved with her teacher twenty years her senior. They knew what could happen if they were discovered but it was too late now as he'd pointed out before she left for the summer. The night she'd stayed with him haunted her while she traveled on assignment for the Order and couldn't wait until she returned to Hogwarts to be with him and be with him completely
With an arm around her back and the other under her knees, Severus lifted Hermione up in his arms, slowly walking with her to his bedchamber. As he walked, he realized he was nervous. It had been a long time since…well…since the last time he was with someone physically. What if he disappointed her? Sure he could whip up potions to cure about any insecurity but he wanted this time with her to be real. He tried to put it out of his mind as he laid her on his bed.
"I'm a little nervous," she confided as he lay beside her.
"As am I," he told her, leaning down to gently kiss her lips. The tenderness quickly escalated as he covered her body, her hands holding back strands of dark hair falling to her face. As their mouths entwined, deepening their kiss, she tasted tea, his special blend that he always drank, and it fueled her, pulling him closer.
Severus noticed the hunger, causing a desire to burn within him that was almost foreign, and allowed his hands to begin their journey across her body. Lips still joined, his fingers slid down the buttons to the bottom of her shirt, slipping his hand under, feeling the warmth of bare skin, quickly slipping his hand around one of the small satin covered mounds, instantly turned on at its firmness, squeezing gently, hearing Hermione moan softly in their kiss.
She dug her fingers into his hair without realizing it as her heart pounded in anticipation. She felt his fingers discover that the bra she wore had a front closure, quickly unhooking it and releasing her, his hand jumping from one responsive breast to the other, caressing and squeezing, running his thumb over her nipples, instantly hard from his touch.
He couldn't help it. He had to open his mind just for a moment. The rush of passion he felt from her almost made him dizzy. She was happy and excited and turned on and that's what he needed to know. Before he blocked her out again, he'd heard one more thought. While he wasn't planning on doing it, he definitely had no problem with it.
Kneeling over her, he grabbed a fistful of the bottom of her shirt and ripped it open, buttons popping off to the floor, causing Hermione to gasp in surprise. His body met hers again as she pulled him down to her, demanding a rough kiss, his hands exploring the freed skin that was calling to him. He left her lips, hungry to taste flesh, slipping down to swirl his tongue around one nipple and then the other, hardening with every moan from her.
Fingers still playing with his hair, the more time he spent kissing her breasts, the hotter she was, originally thinking this would take a long time with him and realizing now that it would not. She couldn't stand the sensations filling her body but yet wanted more and more from him.
His mouth still pleasuring her breasts, she felt a hand underneath the skirt she'd purposely worn, tingling from the electricity when he moaned against her skin, learning she'd not worn any undergarments.
This girl was going to drive him mad. God he would have to have her soon or it would be too late, and as his fingers slipped into the wetness begging for him, he realized he was obviously driving her mad as well. He left her chest and kissed her lips, pushing one leg over with his right and pulling her other one with his left so she was pinned, allowing his fingers more room to play in her softness, loving how her hands grabbed onto anything they could find; his hair, his clothing, the bed sheets. Her eyes were closed in pleasure as his lips attacked her exposed neck.
Oh god, oh god, she thought, feeling her entire body tensing up. This man was incredible. She had to have him soon, unsure of how much more she could take. With his ministrations, she found she couldn't move, or didn't want to move. Something was happening, building inside her and she didn't want to miss whatever it was. She'd tried this by herself before but it certainly didn't feel the same. Oh my god, she thought again, instinctively raising her hips in unison with his fingers. She was moaning and breathing heavy, blind to what her hands had fused on to.
He opened up his mind again, purposely delving into her passions, their minds briefly sharing a combined pleasure that was intense, pushing his thoughts into her mind. 'Yes that's it…just relax…don't fight…Hermione…does it feel good…tell me…show me…I want to hear you…is that the spot…oh yes…right there…I can keep going…let me hear you…'
Hermione was mad with pleasure, hearing his growl's inside her own mind, the intensity of his passions joining with hers, his fingers slipping in and out of her, rubbing the swollen nub in the most perfect way, and with no warning lost her breath, nearly panting, whimpering and crying out as her body spasmed, her hands unaware of the death grip she had on the sheets.
Closing his mind again, he allowed her to ride the wave of ecstasy alone, her cries and moans music to his ears and a turn on for the rest of his body, demanding attention of its own. He was so hard and pressing against his clothes to the point he almost hurt. He was surprised he hadn't released already as excited as he was, especially after listening to her.
"Oh my god, oh my god," she breathed, not able to form any other words at the moment, her body slowly relaxing. Her eyes opened to find Severus intently staring at her. "That was really mean," she said, referring to invading her mind. "But can you do it again?"
He smiled, kissing her, helping rid her of her clothing as she was trying to pull everything off to throw to the floor. Her attention focused squarely on him. "You have too much on," she informed him with a wicked smile.
He looked at her a moment before getting up from the bed to remove what he was wearing. He chastised himself for being nervous as he'd been with women before. With her staring at every inch of flesh that he revealed, he couldn't help but feel the slightest twinge of shyness. Get over it, he told himself, slipping down the last undergarment and climbing back in bed.
Unabashedly staring at his naked form before her, she was honestly surprised. There was muscle definition hidden under the cloak he always wore along with soft black hair in the appropriate places and she reached out to touch his chest, sliding her fingers over his small nipples, down his stomach and the faint trail that led to…
Oh my, she thought, immediately lifting her gaze to his.
Staying on his back momentarily, he pulled her down to his chest, tasting her lips, taking her hand and making her feel him, letting go after a few seconds, amazed at her soft touch, enjoying her uncertainty as she played.
She'd never touched a man before but instantly liked it, even if she wasn't quite sure how to do it, as far as what felt good to him. But she would learn. Her first time wasn't even over yet and she was already looking forward to the next. Her hand was soon pushed away as he rolled on top of her again, holding her in his arms, determination in his eyes. She smiled before melting into their kiss, feeling his body between hers as she wrapped her legs around his. It was time and she was more than ready.
He hoped it wouldn't hurt her as he held her close, knowing all women were made different, not able to bear the thought of causing her pain even if pleasure was to follow. Lifting his lips from hers briefly, eyes locked, he slowly slid inside the tightness, thankful there was no difficult barrier, pushing himself completely in and stopping. Gasping and moaning in pleasure, she rocked her hips, indicating she wanted him to move.
"Hermione," he growled, pulsing his hips into her gently at first, strands of hair swaying in his rhythm, her body tightly pressed against his. Definitely…not…going…to…last, he thought to himself, the warmth engulfing him over and over. Been…too…long.
Her body was flooded with waves of pleasure that cascaded over her with every thrust of his hips. Her breath came in short gasps as her nails dug into his back, urging him, needing more of him. "Faster," she whispered, adjusting her legs, feeling him slide a bit further in. Her brain seemed to have shut down as her body thought for her, demanding more and more.
He was moaning now, thrusting into her faster and harder. "Can't last," he breathed.
"Don't care," she whispered. "Open…your mind…let me…share…your pleasure."
Her words, her body, her lips; oh damn, he thought, familiar with the sensation, every muscle in his body tight, forcing his mind into hers, eyes squeezed shut, only aware of sliding in and out of her wet core, her inner muscles kneading and pulsing against him. In her mind again, aware of her pleasure as well as his, overloaded, he cried out and slammed into her, the mental union causing her to as well, both gripping hot skin, nails digging in.
There was a brief moment in the height of ecstasy where neither was aware of any world but their inner sanctum, reality slowly returning with the passing of each minute, as he lay his head in the crook of her neck, both panting and gasping for breath, amazed at what they'd just experienced, bodies locked together in a tangle of arms and legs.
Minutes passed before either could speak. Severus lifted his head to look at Hermione. He'd never seen such beauty, such happiness, emanate from anyone as was from her now. He smiled and gently touched her lips with his.
"That was…oh my god…it felt…" she stammered, not able to finish one thought before starting another. "Why did I wait?"
He laughed, rolling over to his back, pulling her to rest her head on his chest. He could honestly say no other time with a woman had felt like that. Not one. He couldn't believe it. "You needed to be ready," he reminded her.
She didn't want to move, thinking sleep could arrive any minute. "Do I have to leave?" she asked, playing with the hair on his chest.
Feeling quite comfortable, he said, "I will teach you how to apparate and then we won't have to worry about anything. But for tonight, you stay."
Within minutes, sleep had claimed them both.
As the gentle breeze ruffled her hair, Hermione sighed heavily, thinking maybe it wasn't such a good idea to think about that evening. Worst part was every evening she spent with him had been like that. He'd easily taught her how to apparate so she could return to her bed each morning, never causing suspicion. The private world they'd shared had been unique to them. She'd been with a couple other men over the past few years but they were not Severus. No one matched up to him.
And she was beginning to think no one ever would.
The following afternoon she was in her office when an envelope was slipped under the door. That's odd, she thought, walking over to retrieve it. There was no writing on it.
As she opened it, her heart dropped to the floor as did her body.
It read:
"Should you want to see your dear Severus again, you will follow my directions down to the dungeon where we are, and bring the pendant with you. If anyone comes with you, and should you breathe a word of this to Albus, I will kill both of you. I hope this is clear enough."
This woman was mad! What had she done? What could Hermione do? She had to go alone. There was no way anyone could be with her. She couldn't take the chance. And she couldn't tell Albus, not yet anyway.
Hermione thought for a moment. If the pendant was what she wanted, then the pendant was what she would get.
And then some.
