Hey y'all. So sorry it took me a while to update. Remember when I said it was because of my thesis? Well, good news. I have officially finished my thesis. Load of my back. Which means I will now definitely be able to update every day. I hope you guys didn't lose interest. And hope this makes up for it. If I get some replies, I might even update again tonight. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed for chapter 3. It meant so much. Gotta run. Enjoy.
Chapter 4:
"Haley, time to get up," screeched the voice of her maid Renee.
Groaning, she forced one eye open to peak at the clock, which read 10:30, before closing it again and mumbling, "Too early."
"Oh no," voiced Renee, "your parents ordered me to get you up before 11:00 this time."
"Well, it's not 11 yet, is it?" asked Haley, voice heavy with sleep.
After continuing her argument with Renee for another five minutes, she admitted defeat and trudged to her bathroom to take a shower. And so another day in the extremely complicated life of Haley James had begun. After her shower, she took a solid 20 minutes to complete her ritualistic preparations for the day (hair, makeup, getting dressed, etc.).
Jogging tiredly down the stairs and into the kitchen, she was stopped by the cook Kathy, who asked kindly, "Ms. James, would you like some breakfast?"
She gave the woman a tight lipped smile and said, "No thanks, Kathy. I'm meeting up with some friends at Karen's Cafe. I'll eat there." Though she had no intention of meeting up with anyone. In fact, she was perfectly content with the plan she had devised last night to simply avoid the entire group today.
Yesterday had been a mistake. She had let them see for a day the person she used to be. And though this had made her extremely happy, it couldn't last. She wished with all of her heart that things could continue as they had been yesterday, but New York had taught her that happiness was too good to be true. Happiness never lasted. Happiness cold only end in heartache. Happiness simply didn't exist. So, she taught herself to be strong, perhaps in a way, immune to happiness. And slowly, her heart had hardened until she believed it couldn't break. Since the day before she moved when she had cried in Nathan's arms, she hadn't allowed a single tear to fall from her eyes. Because to cry meant that she felt something. And Haley believed it better to feel nothing, to be completely numb, as opposed to feeling blissful only to have your heart torn in two. And theoretically speaking, this made perfect sense, but what Haley had yet to learn was that the things that make the most sense often provide the least clarity in the end.
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"So, what do you guys think of Haley?" Nathan asked, looking at each of his friends before launching the ball from his hands and watching as it sailed in a perfectly angled arc, swishing through the net.
"She's awesome," stated Peyton warmly. Nathan shot her a grateful smile, happy she approved of his best friend.
Then, Brooke spoke, "Yeah, I can't believe I didn't meet her before she left."
"She's something else, isn't she?" Nathan asked no one in particular.
"Yeah, she really is," Tim said from his seat on the side of the court, looking thoughtful. Surprised, Nathan grinned, thinking, 'Even Tim likes her.'
Jake grabbed Nathan's rebound and passed to Luke as he said, "Haley's her own person. She's original, but she's just as fun as the rest of us. I like that about her."
Luke nodded as he ran the length of the court to execute a perfectly crafted layup. He had been so close to Haley for so long, it was almost as if she were a part of him. She was different, but in a good way. She was just...Haley. And nothing could ever change that... right?
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As she found herself walking the streets of Tree Hill for the second consecutive time in the past two days, she discovered that her appetite was once again non existent. It had dissolved again along with her former self. Because the new Haley hadn't needed food. Needing something, no matter how important it should prove to be to her critical health condition, showed that she was weak. And Haley James was not weak. She was far from it. Therefore, she needed no sustenance.
As she passed the many expensive mansions of her new prestigious neighborhood, she thought about the people who occupied them. Sure, each house held different people, but in essence they were all the same. All lonely and wishing for someone who would see past their many faults and love them unconditionally, this wish driving them to the deeds they were well known for. Because, in truth, many just wanted attention in some form and for most, partying, drinking, and one night stands were the only way to attain even a miniscule piece of what their hearts desired. Haley was willing to bet that over 1/2 of the people who lived in the mansions which constantly surrounded her, returned home every day only to find that the mansion they owned, envied by many, was empty.
'Everyone else looks at our fancy cars and our designer clothes and they think we have everything,' she thought bitterly. 'Then why does it feel like nothing?'
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As Haley was wandering up and down random streets, Nathan, Lucas, Brooke, Peyton, Jake and Tim all sat at the side of the court, engaging in friendly banter and planning out the rest of their weekend. As Nathan tuned out Brooke's incessant whining as she pleaded with Jake and Luke, arguing over their plans, he leaned back into the shade of the tree behind him and it dawned on him that since yesterday, he had not seen nor heard from Haley.
"Hey, guys, should we invite Haley?" he questioned the group at large, praying they would give their consent, as he sat up again.
Lucas, Brooke, Peyton, and Jake all nodded as Tim shouted, "Hell yeah!" He smiled, satisfied with their response as he tuned them out again.
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As she meandered aimlessly up one street and down another, she found herself on Nathan's old street. She stopped in front of his house and simply stood and stared at it. She could remember a particular incident that had occurred at the age of 7 one night when she had desperately wanted to talk to Nathan.
FLASHBACK
As she stepped out the front door of her house, she began to rethink her decision to walk to Nathan's house for it was 10:00 at night and extremely dark outside. She had always been frightened of darkness, and now facing it alone only made her more afraid. A cricket chirped a few feet away and she jumped, eyes widening. Hearing a rustling in the bushes which lined her yard, she restrained herself form screaming and took off, running without stopping to Nate's house.
She arrived breathless in his perfectly manicured front lawn, stooping to grab some pebbles that lay on the ground beside the fountain, and throwing them with all the strength she could muster at his window. But his window was on the second story and Haley's tiny frame was only so strong. It was nearly impossible for her to throw the smallest of pebbles even halfway to his window, let alone complete her decidedly foolish task of attempting to wake Nathan up so she could discuss something with him.
So, abandoning the pebbles, she decided to try a different approach. She had noticed the trellis climbing up the side of the house and examined it, determining that she could indeed climb it and reach Nathan's window.
As she clambered shakily up it, she wondered why she had felt the need to come here so late, but the thought ceased to plague her as she finally approached Nate's bedroom window. Reaching over, she knocked on his window, a triumphant smile appearing on her lips. But her smile quickly faded as she lost her balance and crashed to the ground.
The commotion woke Nathan and Mr. and Mrs. Scott. Nathan threw open his window and saw Haley, yelling, "Oh my God, Haley, are you OK?" But before she could answer his question, he had bounded out of his room and down the stairs, leaping out the front door. He ran toward her, a look of panic contorting his normally flawless face as he fell to his knees beside her, bringing her head gently onto his lap and stroking her hair while whispering, "It's gonna be OK, Haley," as her whole world went black.
END FLASHBACK
Now, she couldn't begin to tell you why she had needed to speak with him so desperately, but she could still recall what he had done for her that night. His parents had called an ambulance and he had insisted that his mom follow it to the hospital. He had dashed in before her and ran straight to his dad. As soon as they would allow him back, he entered her room and refused to leave. He held her hand as they stitched up her head and stayed by her side the entire night.
They were only 7, but Nathan had done more for her in one night than most best friends did for one another in a lifetime. And it was the moments similar to those that proved his undying loyalty to her and renewed her faith in their friendship.
But now, as she turned from the house and continued her walk. she wasn't sure if their friendship could exist anymore.
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"Hey, guys, did anyone think to ask Haley what her phone number is?" questioned Luke, doubting their ability to reach her. Everyone looked around at each other, each thinking someone else had asked her.
"What about where she lives?" Again, his inquiry was met with silence as they realized they had no way to contact Haley and there was a possibility they wouldn't see her again for quite some time. Granted, she would most likely be attending Tree Hill High, but her parents might have decided to enroll her at Tree Hill's own private school.
"We'll find her," Brooke voiced confidently, seemingly the only one who believed her reassurance as the rest of the group began to argue over whose fault it was.
"Guys, shut up," Luke said. When they only continued their squabble, he yelled, "Everyone just shut up!"
One by one, they fell silent, gazing at Luke, Jake, the dependable peace maker, grateful for the interruption as Lucas continued, "It was no one's fault." He glanced at Nathan only to find him staring at something over his shoulder. Ignoring this, he exclaimed, "I mean, God! What are you? A bunch of five year olds?"
Jake nudged him and pointed to Nathan who Luke now noticed was slowly walking past him. Then, quite suddenly, he broke into a jog and made his way toward Haley who was walking past the court, calling out, "Haley, wait up!"
'Oh . Why must you curse me, God?' she thought as she stopped mid stride and waited for Nathan to catch up, turning to him as he approached her and hugged her tightly. She didn't return the gesture.
Confused, but not wanting to make it into a big deal, he smiled and began, "So, me and the gang were wondering if you wanted to hang with us this weekend."
She hesitated, seeing the hopeful look in his eyes, but she knew what she had to do. "Nathan, I can't," she whispered.
"Come on, Haley," but she cut him off.
"Uh, Nathan, look. I don't think we can be friends anymore."
She tried to keep herself from feeling anything as his eyes turned sad and he frowned, asking, "What? Why not, Haley?"
She swallowed. "Because, I'm not the girl I was when I was 13. I learned a lot in New York. I grew up, Nathan, and I changed. Yesterday was fun, but it's not who I am anymore. And it's not who I want to be."
"I don't believe you. You're still Haley. You're my Haley." He could barely keep himself from shouting.
"No, I'm not. And it's not fair to you if I ask you to accept the person I am now just because we used to be best friends. Because believe me when I tell you, you're not going to like her." She could feel the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over as she watched his face fall, but she quickly blinked them back.
"I don't know what this is all about, Haley, but deep down, I know you know you're still the same person. You'll never really change. And maybe I'm not your friend anymore, but you're still my best friend. And you might not like it, but it's gonna stay that way."
"I'm sorry, Nathan," she whispered as she turned and walked away.
He stood, stunned, watching watching her practically run from him, and for the first time, realized that she had changed. His Haley was gone.
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That night, as she sat on the wooden bench at the Riverside Court, gazing out at the black night sky, lit with millions of twinkling stars and illuminated by the nearly full moon, footsteps could be heard coming nearer until finally, someone approached the bench and sat next to her. She didn't have to turn to know who it was. After a few seconds of silence, she asked quietly, "Do you ever wonder if it's all worth it in the end?"
He turned to look at her, thinking of how much she had changed and asked, "What do you mean?"
She sighed. "Heaven, Nathan. Do you really think it's worth all the we go through every day?"
He contemplated his answer, unsure of what to say to her, then finally muttered, "I think that it doesn't matter as long as you find something that makes you happy."
"And what if you can't?" she questioned.
"Well, then none of it means anything," he whispered, knowing it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, but the one she needed to.
Silence enveloped them a they sat, looking up at a shooting star, knowing their problems were far from resolved. Instead they would return each day with the rising sun, bringing with them an unforeseen amount of conflict.
