I lay beside Armand in the early morning hours and felt my mind slipping back to the man in the shadow I had encountered earlier that evening. I caught myself thinking that he must have been The Scarlet Pimpernel, but then again, if he was, why did he trust me with the letter for the Comte De Tournay? My relationship with Armand is well known, or at least well rumored, and a man as brilliant and cunning as the Pimpernel would certainly know this. He should not trust me. I would not trust me. How did I get to this point? The point where I do not even trust myself anymore.

I felt my mind drifting back over the last two years of my life. Two years ago was when my life came to a crashing halt. That was when my love and fiancé, Laurent was arrested for treason. Without a word to me, Laurent had become a messenger between some of the troubled French aristocrats and the Austrian government. A letter was found on him as his papers were being checked on his way out of the city one day and he was immediately arrested. They quickly dragged in all his relations to interrogate each one for any information. I was of course brought in and was placed alone in a prison cell for a torturous six-hour wait. They then took me to another cell to interrogate me. I knew nothing of Laurent's secret life but they kept asking me questions, hoping to get anything out of me. Finally, they brought in Armand Chauvelin to attack me. He took a different approach then the soldiers.

Armand knows how to get the most of a prisoner. If he can not get the information for which the person were originally brought in, he would still get something useful out of them. In my tired state, he quickly found out my inner circle and all my acquaintances. As the daughter of a Marquis, my circle was quite large and my acquaintances many. Even in my exhausted condition, Armand discovered my quick mind and soon ascertained that I could be a very useful ally to the Republic. He went on to question me about my family and then finally got back to the subject of Laurent. As I went on about all I knew about Laurent, Armand's devious mind was developing a plan.

My love for Laurent and my parents became very apparent to him and he knew that he could use it against me. He told me that he could save my parents from future denouncement and he could keep Laurent alive if I would do as he asked. I listened to him as he told me what I would do for the Republic.

"You are a very intelligent woman, Citoyenne Du Pres. You have made this very clear to me. I want to offer you a chance to save your fiancé and your parents. A former Marquis and Marquise are not safe in these times. As for Laurent Lavoissier, he has lost all favor with the Republic but I may be able to prolong his life if you will agree to be a servant of the Republic."

"How?" I asked, remaining composed.

"You float among a fine circle of citoyens and you could be helpful in disposing of those whose ideals go against the ways of the Republic. I want you to expose to us those who want to hurt the Republic by remaining in your circle of friends and acting as an informant. You will learn their thoughts and report back to us. You will do your country the greatest service in exposing those who plot against France."

"And what if I refuse?"

"Lavoissier will be guillotined tomorrow and I am sure that a denouncement of the Marquis and Marquise Du Pres would be brought to light soon as well which could include their daughter too."

"So it's either my life for your use or the death of us all?"

"Well, servicing your country is not the end of your life Citoyenne. You would be well provided for by the Republic and your parents will live out their days in a home in the countryside of France. Your fiancé will be sent to a coastal prison with the hope that one day a reprieve may be given."

"Well the way you have just put it Citoyen, I have no choice but to agree to your terms."

"So you will be an agent of the Republic?"

The thought of bearing that title made me feel sick inside. Hundreds of faces ran through my head as I thought of all the people I could end up betraying but when the images of my parents and my sweet Laurent entered my mind, I knew they had to be placed first.

"Yes, I will."

"Good, but just to check your loyalty Citoyenne we will be keeping you overnight. If you are still firm in wanting to do this in the morning, your fiancé will be transferred and your parents will be moved. Take her away." He ordered his soldiers but I spoke up and stopped them.

"Wait!" I cried desperately, not wanting to spend a whole night in one of those cells. "I have already agreed to your terms. Is this necessary?"

"Yes it is." Was the only answer I got as Armand left the cell and I was grabbed by each arm and taken back to my original cell.

Once there I finally shed the tears I had been holding in for all those hours in the interrogation. The tears did not stop flowing all night and neither did the thoughts through my mind. I was going to turn against all my friends for the three most precious people in my life. All the dinners, the balls, the galas, the nights at the opera, and faces from happier times when our privileged class was on top of the world seemed a distant memory, a childhood dream that disappeared when I grew up. Nevertheless, there I was, only 18 years of age, deciding those memories' fates.

By the time the morning light crept into my barred window, the tears had stopped and my heart had hardened. My privileged class died the day the Bastille was stormed and I had accepted that overnight. There was nothing I could do for them as a whole. My loved ones and France were all that would be important in my life. I literally brainwashed myself that night.

When Armand arrived at my cell shortly after sunrise, I was resolute in my decision and I let him know immediately. He seemed very pleased as he took my hand to escort me out of the cell. We headed out of the prison and he helped me into an awaiting carriage. Once we were on our way, through the streets of Paris, he spoke, "You have made a very wise decision, Citoyenne. You and your family will be safe as long as you listen to me. At this very moment your parents are on their way to their new home and Lavoissier is on his way to his new cell."

My mind wandered to the man who was supposed to become my husband in two months but was now that was postponed indefinitely. I prayed he was safe. He had most likely been beaten but at least I had assurance that he was alive. He was not only my love; he was also a long time friend, having grown up with his parents and my own being very good friends. I would not let him die as long as I had a say in it.

"Here we are." Armand said suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. It was then that I realized the carriage had stopped.

"Where are we?"

"Your new home, Citoyenne." He said as he got out of the carriage and then extended his hand to help me out. I stepped out to find a simple but fine house in the midst of Paris before me. Armand took me inside and I found that it was already furnished and that my possessions had already been moved in.

"Why are you doing this for me?"

He turned to look at me straight on with an almost amused look on his face. "What do you mean?" he asked slyly.

"I am an aristo. Why do you not have me guillotined like everyone else? Why do you give me a chance to prolong my life? Why do you trust me but not those of my fellow kin?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "Citoyenne, first of all you were an aristo, but that status no longer exists. Why have we given you this chance? We have given you this chance because you are unlike the others. You are a very intelligent young female, which is something extremely rare among your former class, in being that you know better than to betray us. I know you will do what is asked of you, for you know your lives are in the balance otherwise."

He had made valid points but I still felt very confused and alone and with that he said, "I will now take my leave of you." I almost wanted to ask him to stay for fear of being alone in this new house but I would not ask him for my stubborn pride stood in the way. Before he exited out the door he said, "I will soon return to you or request your presence at the Tribunal for your first assignment Citoyenne. All of your assignments will come directly through me and no one else." And with that, he left.

He returned the next morning with my first assignment, which was to get incriminating information on the Lefevres, which I completed successfully. They were followed by the La Vois, the St. Cyrs, the Ledouxs, and the list goes on and on. However, something strange was occurring as my missions were taking place. I was forgetting who I was. I was burying my old self and creating a new one.

No longer was I Gabrielle, the Marquis' daughter, the Comte's fiancée, the elitist who was a main focus at parties, who talked mindlessly with woman whose major concern was what to wear to the next gala. I was Gabrielle, the informant who worked for the French Republic that had torn her life apart and that she sometime liked but often hated. I was the Citoyenne, and the woman who was falling out of love with her distant memory of her fiancé and falling in love with a man she should despise, Armand Chauvelin.

Armand would sometimes join me for dinner, not at my request at first but by his choice. Early on, the discussions were usually, for the most part, one sided with him being the one talking. He would dictate the Republican's ideas to me but over time the conversation strayed to other subjects and then I could join in. We discussed everything from the weather to our childhood games. I found myself growing very attached to him. One night, about six months after my interrogation, as he was getting ready to leave, he turned to me and said. "I am very proud of you Gabrielle. Your loyalty has been infallible and I thank you from my heart for that."

I smiled on the surface, "Thank you Chauvelin. Your kindness to me has helped me so much. It would give me great honor to have you join me again for dinner next Tuesday evening."

He looked into my eyes, searching for sincerity and he found it, "Thank you, I will be here on the appointed evening." He leaned down to give me a kiss on the cheek but changed his mind and moved to my lips instead. It was very bold of him but I did not resist. It was a brief kiss, barely a brush across lips but I felt it throughout my body.

He brought his body straight up and said, "Good evening" and went out the door shutting it behind him.

I fell into the chair in to foyer. "What is happening to me?" I said to myself aloud. Between that night and Tuesday, I worked on explaining the answer to myself.

Armand was a treacherous man who was directly and indirectly responsible for the death of thousands but at my dinner table he was kind, generous, amusing, passionate and wonderful and I was hopelessly in love with that side of him. I could barely understand how I could forget the one part of his life and love the rest of him but I did completely.

When Tuesday afternoon arrived, I made sure my auburn hair was curled, my face was perfection, and I dressed in one of my better gowns. Armand arrived in good spirits. He complimented me immediately, which took me back a bit. Dinner was amusing with wild stories flying back and forth between us and as we sat there recovering from laughter from a funny story I had told, I looked at him. He stared back with a flat look. "What is wrong Chauvelin, are you ill?" I asked with great concern.

"No my dearest Gabrielle," he said in a voice filled with passion and intensity like nothing I had ever heard come out of him, "the only thing getting to me is you."

A little smile crept onto my face as I asked playfully, "And why is that? Have I offended you with my bad jokes?"

"No, not at all." He stood up, walked over to me pulling a chair in close to me, and sat down right up against my chair. He took my hands and looked me in the eyes, "Gabrielle, I am in love with you. I should not be but I am. Your passions are so like mine now, we share so much in life, and you are the first woman I have ever felt could be an equal. You are purely beautiful not only in face but in soul. Is there any chance of you ever feeling the same way?"

I sighed in relief. The kiss a few nights before was brief but wonderful and I knew now that my confusion could be cast aside. The heartfelt thoughts he had just expressed to me showed that he was a man of character and could be true to me in heart. I had to respond to him and I did so in the best way I could think of, I kissed him and then said, "I know, its madness my dear but Armand I love you too." And as he heard the words pour out of my mouth he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again, but this time not a quick brush but a long passionate burst. My mind was racing as I realized the tension that had been between us for the last few weeks that we had both been holding in and now was about to explode.

Dinner was done but I did not want him to leave me now or ever. We were not separating from those chairs in the dining room, but in fact were so close now that we probably could have disposed of one. This went on for some time and finally he whispered in my ear that he should probably go.

My heart was pounding and the last thing on earth I ever wanted was for him to walk out my front door. There was only one thing I could do, a thing that I had never had done before because I had never felt this strongly about someone as to want to make the request of them, but with Armand I did. "Don't go." Came out in almost a pleading voice. "Stay with my tonight." I said in a much calmer tone.

He looked me in the eyes again and said, "Gabrielle, are you sure?" His arms were still around me and I knew I did not want them to leave with him.

"Yes, I most definitely am."

Our lips met hungrily again. After a while, I slipped out of his arms and to my feet. I took his hands and brought him to his feet as well. I started leading him out of the room. He smiled at me and said, "Where are we going?"

"Why upstairs of course," I said quite simply.

He laughed from deep down, throwing his head back as he did so. He moved in closer to kiss me again but I returned his laugh and started pulling him again. I was moving faster and he was keeping up right behind me as we went up the stairs. I opened the door to my room and stood behind it as he entered. The second I closed it and turned around, Armand was on my lips again. We were tearing at each other with our hands everywhere, our lips hardly separating.

Before I knew it, my dress was over my head and onto the floor. I felt the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed and I sat down on it before I fell on it. His jacket and waistcoat were gone, when they came off I do not recall. My hands started working at the knot in his sash that was right in front of me, but I could not get my fingers to work right. I was moving too fast. I was trembling. I finally threw my hands up in frustration and covered my face in humiliation. "What's wrong?" came his voice with a soft, breathless tone I had never heard before.

"I...I..." I was a wreck, all my nerve was gone.

I felt the bed shift as he sat down next to me on it. I had to face him. I looked at him looking at me; "I've never done this before."

He seemed a little taken a back, "But I just assumed…you and La…"

I cut him off with the violent shaking of my head back and forth.

He then said quietly, "Are you still sure you want to do this?" He was so close to me that I could feel his breath on my near bare shoulder. There was nothing I wanted more than to be with him alone in this room. I wanted to give myself to him completely and with a deep breath I cast all fear and worry aside. I looked straight on at him and with one word, "Yes," it was settled.

His hands were at my hair, pulling the combs loose, letting it flow freely. My hands were now steady as they untied the sash and next went for the buttons of his shirt. We were now up on our knees on the bed, trying not to let go of each other's lips as we rid each other of our clothing. Finally free of everything, he took me in his arms completely, and laid me down, my head against the pillow, as I pulled the last piece of fabric, the ribbon in his hair, away.

As I lay there, totally exposed, I felt my nerves creeping up on me again, but as he looked me straight in the eyes, I knew how deep our love was. I could see the passion I was feeling being returned completely. He slid down my body leaving a trail of kisses along the way, finally leading back to my lips. I needed to touch him. I felt almost like a child whose curiosity was getting the best of her. His skin was so warm as I reached for his chest, sliding my hands up it to his shoulders. He took this as a cue to touch back and he did. His hands floated all up and down my body as I did the same for him. Finally, after much time of this, our eyes met again. By this time, a flame was burning back and forth and it was only going to be a short time before it became one fire.

I laid back down again, only too sure of everything now. As he positioned himself above me, he said those inevitable words that I had not foreseen; "I don't want to hurt you."

Hurt? I had not been thinking about any pain, but I was not going to back down out of this now. "Don't worry," I said, sounding more sure of myself than I felt, "with you here, I will be just fine."

The stage of pain passed quickly and was worth the mild discomfort to get to know the man I loved so well.

After all was done and I laid wrapped tightly in Armand's arms late that night. I could feel his heart pounding. His chest was pressed against my back as I listening to him whispering how much he loved me in my ear repeatedly. I knew that the power of the love I felt for him was something stronger than I had ever dealt with before and probably ever again. I wanted to be with him forever.

That evening was the first of many evenings over the last year and the half spent together behind the closed doors of a bedroom. It was the beginning of me tearing myself apart as well.

I have questioned my heart more than any person should. I am in love with a man who in the bedroom is heaven but in the light of day is the enemy of all my friends; the friends that I have betrayed to him. At the same time, I knew that it was not for him that I originally began my life of deceit; I had done it for Laurent.

Laurent was sitting alone in a cell by the shore somewhere instead of in the ground because I had agreed to help the Republic. I had done it for his love but that was no longer the case. I did not love the far away prisoner anymore. I loved Armand and I hoped that he would eventually make me his wife.

So I now posed a new question to myself in the early morning light…Why had I not told him about my meeting with the mysterious stranger or the De Tournay's? I understood my reasons for the De Tournay's. Suzanne and I had been friends all our lives and even with the talk of all my denouncements circulating, Suzanne had always remained a loyal and true friend to me. I would not let her die. While I was able to dissent from all the others of my former class, I could never do it to her because she was the only person that was family to me beside my parents, who I missed so much. She was the sister I had never had.

As for the mysterious man in the shadow, I knew that he was most likely the Pimpernel or one of his men. Armand's biggest passion was the bringing down of this man and I was doing nothing to help him. I guess in a way I admired the Pimpernel. He was so strong in risking his life to save my former friends, the ones who I had put in peril in the first place. I guess I secretly thanked him for undoing the wrongs I had created. I did not want him captured. Now I possessed the letter that would help him to save the De Tournay's.

I quickly resolved in my head that I would help him to save Suzanne but would let it be known to him that I would not help him again. My mind was getting lazy by this point, I stopped dwelling on the past, and I was soon fast asleep.