Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I got sidetracked. But here it is. And can I just say thank you so so much for all the wonderful reviews I have been getting. Honestly, they really make my day. They inspired this update so thank you to everyone who reviewed. Enjoy and next chapter will be up sometime soon.

Chapter 12:

She stood there staring at him for the longest time. Disbelieving. It couldn't be him. Why, after everything was finally falling into place, when she was finally starting to piece back together the broken pieces of her life, of herself, did he have to come? He had taken all this from her, and now that she was finally starting to get some of it back, he was coming to take it from her again.

She knew the only person to blame for everything she'd become was herself, but she couldn't help but feel resentment toward him. True, it had been her choice to change, but if she had never met him, if he had never come into her life, she was pretty positive that none of this would've ever happened. She would have come back to Tree Hill and picked up where she left off and not caused any of the people she held closest to her heart pain. But in New York, she hadn't loved them anymore, or she had believed she didn't love them anymore. Now that she had returned and they were welcoming her with open arms, being patient and loving, never giving up on her, she wasn't sure what to believe.

If happiness never lasted, how could it be real? But nothing in this materialistic world does last, and how can nothing be real? She had thought that she finally found her place, where she was supposed to be, what she was supposed to believe, what she was supposed to do, but had she really?

Next to her stood Nathan, not quite sure what was going on, but standing by her anyway, loving her more than life itself. And on the other side of the room was Jack, reminding her of what had happened in New York, of who she was with him, of her painless existence there. Both stood so close to her, but they represented two different worlds. She had started out in and come to love one and then had been pushed unwillingly into another where the cold, hard truth had been revealed to her. Now, it was time to choose between these two worlds. For she could never live in both.

It didn't matter which life she chose, she would lose something. Either way, she would be missing out. The question was, which was more important to her? If Jack had not been standing there, watching her, she would have answered without hesitation that the life she led in Tree Hill gave her so much more. But now, he was forcing her to think about the other side, the other life she had lived in New York.

And though Tree Hill offered her love, warmth, and the possibility of never being alone, of never having to deal with anything on her own, of never being empty, what if she lost it one day? She wasn't sure she'd be able to handle that. And what would happen when she had no choice but to leave Tree Hill? Could she ever manage to build a life such as this anywhere else? She hoped so, but she knew that, no matter how hard she wished for it, it wouldn't come true.

So, maybe the safer choice would be to live in New York. There, she would never have to worry about losing all that she had gained. True, she would never be able to feel like this again, but at times, she thought it would be better than to experience it, only to lose it.

It was one of the reasons she didn't want a dog. When she was younger, she had. She had yearned for one like she had never yearned for anything before. It was her biggest wish. It was at the top of every Christmas list, her immediate response to the often asked question, "What do you want for your birthday?" But she had never gotten one. And for that, she was now happy.

Dogs are like the best friend you always wish you could have. They love you, sometimes more than even those you love do, they are forever in desperate need of your attention, your time, your love. When you have no one else to turn to, you can turn to them. They're loyal to the end, no matter what might happen. But, she didn't want to have a dog because she knew that it would die someday. Dogs' lives are shorter than humans, so she would have a few wonderful years with it, then have to go through the pain of watching it die, watching it leave her, and knowing it wasn't there the rest of the days of her life.
This was similar to her situation now. But she knew that before she made any sort of decision regarding it, she needed to talk to Jack and Nathan. They held the key to everything. They would both be willing to fight for her, Nathan because he loved her, Jack because he had molded her. And she had to hear them out.

Nathan had been standing, watching Haley closely. She was in a daze and he could tell something was wrong. Her eyes were glossed over. As he moved to stare into them, what he saw scared him. They were empty. Her pupils were there, her irises there, but there was no emotion, no expression. They were just…… empty. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to know what was going on.

So, he broke through her thoughts with his sweet and loving, gentle voice, "Haley, baby. You okay?"

She shook her head and her eyes cleared. "Um…… well…… We need to talk."

'Oh, God,' he thought, 'that's never good.'

Either she didn't see that she had upset him or she chose not to see it. Nevertheless, she continued. "You see that guy standing over there looking at us?" She pointed at him. "Wearing all black, dark hair, one ear pierced?"

He swallowed and nodded.

"That's Jack." She searched his face for any sign of emotion. At first, there was none. Then, as the shock passed and what she had said registered, he began to look worried. Panicked even.

"Haley, let's just leave. Please, forget about him. He's just gonna screw everything up. Please, Haley, let's just go."

Her face showed her torn anxiety. "Nathan, I know. But I need to talk to him. Don't you get it? I can't ever get past this if I just avoid it. I need to face this. I need closure. I have to move on."

He pleaded with her. "But what if you don't? What if he just messes everything up? What if he's just as convincing as he was last time and I lose you again? I can't do it again, Haley. I won't."

"That's just a chance you're gonna have to be willing to take. I mean, Nathan, I can't ever truly be happy or get my old self back completely unless I do this. I have to talk to him. You need to let me go."

"No. I did that once. I'm not gonna do it again. I can't. Haley, I won't lose you to him again. He can't even see what he did to you. You're both too blind to see it. He ruined your life. I won't let him do it again.

Tears glistened in her eyes. "Nathan, you can't protect me forever. I have to do this on my own. I need to know that I'm strong enough to. How do you expect me to be strong enough to do anything if I can't do this? You have to let me."

He kissed her sweetly on her lips. Crushing her to him, he kissed her forehead, then quickly released her, voice cracking as he said, "Go."

She reached for him, "Nathan."

"Just go!" he shouted.

She saw that she had hurt him and that killed her, but this was what she had to do. She had to move on or neither one of them would ever be happy. She was doing this for him she told herself. And it almost worked.

Slowly, she walked over and leaned against the wall next to Jack, not saying a word, not quite ready yet to open up the past.

But he spoke before she could. Slowly turning his gaze to her, he shook his head. "Haley, I'm disappointed in you. Did you never listen to a word I said? I thought you could survive moving back here, but I guess I was wrong. I mean it's been what, a couple of weeks, and already you have a boyfriend? Let me guess, you love him, right?"

She interrupted quickly before he could go on, "Yes, I do. And you coming here isn't going to change that."

He chuckled. "But don't you see, Haley? You don't really love him. You'll never love anyone. And if you do, then it won't end good. You're just gonna hurt yourself. You fall for someone, it makes you weak. Letting yourself fall isn't being strong. Keeping yourself from falling, holding yourself up, that takes strength."

She glared at him, fury blazing in her eyes. "Well then, if it makes me weak, it makes me weak. We don't have to all be strong like you, Jack. We can't all be strong like you. For once, I'm happy. Don't try to ruin it for me. If you do, you're just like everyone else back in New York. You don't care about me."

He smiled. It wasn't a warm smile, it wasn't kind or gentle. It was a sly smile, a secretive smile, as if he knew something she didn't. "Don't you understand, Haley? I don't care about anyone. And neither should you."

"And why the hell not!" she shouted, growing angrier by the minute.

"Because," he said calmly, "this world is full of nothing but people who lie and cheat and steal. People who stab their closest friends in the back. Your best friends, the people you say you love, are always the ones who betray you first. They don't care about you and you shouldn't care about them."

She was shaking with rage now. "You're wrong! You're wrong!" she cried.

"No," he retorted, "I'm right. And you know that. All these people here, they have nothing to offer you. You believe them, all the lies they tell you, when they say they love you. But that's what they are, Haley. They're lies. Everything they've ever told you. They don't mean it."

"You don't even know them."

He shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. I've never met them, but I know them. They're all the same. They tell you they love you, they hug you, they tell you they'll never leave you, but they will. Everyone gets left at some point."

Her anger began to dissolve as she realized that there was some sense in what he was saying. But then her brows furrowed. "Then why do they do it? Why would they go to all that trouble, spend all that time, all that energy, just so they can leave me? I mean, what's the point?"

He just looked at her. "Can you honestly sit here and tell me you don't know?"

She thought, but could come up with nothing. "Yeah, I can. Why don't you tell me?"

He didn't answer.
And the anger returned. "It's because you don't know, do you? You don't know why they would do that. Because they wouldn't. You just want to corrupt me, you want me to be on your side. Well, it's not gonna happen. Nothing you could ever say or do would change my mind." She began to stomp off, but his voice stopped her.

"It's because they can. Everyone wants to know they have power. They want to know that they have the power to make someone else do whatever they want. People today are so greedy, they don't stop to think about what they're doing to you, or whoever else they're doing it to. Sure, some might think about it briefly, feel bad for a little bit, but they won't do anything about it. Because they just don't care enough to."

She turned back to him and could see that he believed what he was saying was the truth. But did she? And if he truly believed it, maybe that was what he was doing to her even now, corrupting her, wanting to know he had power over her. She just didn't know anymore.

He took a step closer, "Haley, you don't have to give me an answer now, but I want you to come back to New York with me. I know you think you've changed again, but you haven't. You have to believe me when I tell you that these people can't give you what I can." He grabbed her arm.

She jerked herself from him. "And what you can you give me that they can't? The chance to feel nothing, to be nothing. To never be happy, never be in love. Because that sounds like a pretty sad life to me."

He shook his head. "I thought I got through to you, but I guess not. Haley, these people can't offer you anything but heartache in the end. All they'll do is love you and leave you. If you come with me, you won't ever have to go through that. Here, sue you can be in love, but they won't be in love with you. And they'll just end up breaking your heart.""

"Yeah, but I could fall in love and have my heart broken anywhere. It could happen here, it could happen in California, it could happen in Australia for all I care! So, what's the difference if I stay here or go to New York? Cuz it's bound to happen anywhere I live, so why does it matter if I'm here or there?"

He looked at her sympathetically, as though she were a dumb child, not able to understand what he was teaching her. It infuriated her, and yet at the same time, captivated her. "Because, if you're in New York, you'll be with me, and I can do my best to protect you from that. I can remind you every day of why you shouldn't love someone. I can keep you from getting your heart broken. If you're here, I can't guarantee anything. If I leave you here, you'll stay with that guy you were about to leave with, the one you think you're in love with, and he'll leave you. And then, you'll have a broken heart. In New York, I can keep you safe."

She shook her head back and forth rapidly at him until she began to feel dizzy. "You can't keep me safe. You've gotta let me do what I want and just learn from what I do wrong. If I let you 'protect' me, I'm never gonna be my own person. And I'll never be strong, like you say you want me to be."

He sighed. "Well, I at least need to be able to have you near me until I know that you really understand what I'm saying. I thought you did before, but I guess you didn't. I need to teach you to believe this with all of your heart, just like I do."

"Jack, I see what you're saying. But I'm not really sure I agree with it. I mean, I can see how it would make sense, but at the same time, some of it's just crazy. I just don't know if I want to live my life like that."

"You don't have to tell me tonight. Just please think about it," he begged.
Without another word, she walked away from him. He watched her go, knowing that he might have just won her over. Sure he didn't care about her, but it was just as he had told her before. Everyone wants to have a little power, especially over other people. He wanted power over her. He needed power over her. She was one of the most difficult people he had yet to meet. She refused to be conquered. And he always loved a challenge. He had a feeling he was about to win this one.

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Nathan watched Haley's interaction with this Jack character from afar and he could see that she was getting upset. He didn't like this guy one bit. Already, he could tell he had made a mistake in letting Haley go to him. He had done it once and it had ended with disastrous results. Had he really expected it to be different this time?

He watched Haley continually lash out at Jack and knew that she was fighting for herself, for him. He knew that when she had left him, she had a strong resolve to tell Jack off, to return to him unscathed, to finally put the past three years of her life behind her. And he was so thankful for that. He wouldn't lose her again. No matter what it took. But as the minutes wore on, he could see that a change was coming over her. Eventually, it began to look as though her anger were evaporating and she was beginning to really listen to all Jack had to say. As though she believed him.

And right then, he knew he had potentially lost her. Once she was convinced by Jack, she was gone. It had been a long and difficult process even to get her back to where she was at this moment. He knew that if it happened again, there wouldn't be any more chances. The other Haley wouldn't listen to reason a second time. So, as she came back toward him, he tried to act as though nothing were wrong, but he knew she could see it in his eyes.

Haley approached Nathan, who was sitting on a barstool, and slid into his lap, laying her head tiredly on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few moments, neither knowing how to broach the issue on both their minds.

Deciding that she couldn't deal with all of this tonight, Haley lifted her head off Nathan's shoulders and gazed into his eyes, giving an exhausted smile. "We can talk about this tomorrow. I don't really feel like it tonight. Will you take me home?"

He kissed her forehead softly. "Sure, let's go."

His arm automatically settled tightly around her waist as he, towering over her, escorted her out to his car.

The ride to Haley's house was silent, both deep in thought about what had happened tonight, about what would happen now. As they drove up, Haley glanced over at Nathan. "My parents are out of town for a few weeks if you want to stay over."

He grinned and kissed her passionately, whispering, "God, I love you."

She smiled and led him out of the car and to her front door. He stood behind her, arms wrapped around her waist, kissing her neck, as she found her keys and opened the door. Stepping inside, he immediately pushed her against the front door, closing it, and brought his lips to hers. After a few seconds, his tongue pushed at her mouth, begging for entrance, which she gladly granted. He explored every crevice of her mouth, never wanting to let this feeling go.

He felt the same as she did. He was in love with her and knew she was in love with him. He knew it would take her some time to be able to voice this to him, but he could wait forever for her. He was just so happy that she would even be with him. A feeling of warmth and comfort overtook him as he lifted her and carried her to her room, laying her gently on the bed and settling on top of her.

His lips traveled over every inch of her skin exposed to him as she ran her fingers through his hair, eyes closed. Bringing his head back to hers, she smashed her lips back onto his, hands slipping beneath his shirt to trail over the taut muscles hidden from her view. Pushing the cotton material up, she slid it off him and threw it to the floor, kissing his bare chest softly.

He gently licked her neck, then kissed the wet spot, hands moving from her thighs to the hem of her shirt. Roughly, he jerked it over her head, smiling as he thought of how beautiful she looked. He kissed her shoulder, slowly sliding off the straps of her bra as she ran her hands lightly over his entire upper body, kissing his jaw line. Unclasping her bra, he slid it off, marveling at her beauty.

The rest of the night was spent in much the same fashion. Haley and Nathan made love for the first time and, in doing so, Nathan knew he had perhaps persuaded her to reconsider whatever it was Jack had been telling her. He hoped so. He had never felt this close to anyone in his entire life and it was the best feeling in the world. Even better than that of falling in love. He had given himself wholly to her and she to him. For him, nothing ever got as close to perfection as that night did. He was in love. And so was she.