Chapter 13:

The next morning, Nathan was the first to awake and as his gaze landed on the angel laying next to him, he smiled, remembering. She really was perfect. In his eyes, she had always been perfect. And for awhile, she had gone through a rebellious stage and even he had come to believe she was lost forever. But now, he strongly believed she was beginning to come around again; he knew that with his time, his patience, and most of all, his love, she would once again be his Haley, the girl he had known so well, the person who meant everything and so much more to him. And to get her back, he would have to show her everyday. He would have to prove over and over that he would do anything for her, that nothing was more important than her, that no matter the circumstances, he would be there for her, even as she did her best to push him away. But he was willing to do that and so much more just to see her happy again.

As he remembered her encounter with Jack in the club the previous night, he scowled. She still hadn't informed him of what their conversation had been about and, from what he had seen, it had looked intense, which really worried him. Jack had managed to steal Haley from him once and, as he had told her the night before, it wouldn't happen again. Ever.

Perhaps even he knew that, to a certain extent, he was being selfish, but he knew that he wouldn't survive it if he had to live through that again, especially considering that she had finally allowed herself to start a relationship with him. For years, he had dreamed of this and now it was finally within reach, he had finally grasped it. And he would not let some cocky son of a bitch from New York come and take it from him. He would fight for her. He would fight with all the power he possessed and if at the end, he didn't come out on top…… well, it just wasn't a possibility. He had to win. So, win he would.

As Haley's eyes fluttered open, she saw Nathan's content face, felt his arms around her, and she felt safe, as though nothing in the world could harm her. She felt safe and…… happy. Happy was an emotion she thought had no longer existed to her, that she believed didn't really exist to anyone. But Nathan had shown her she was wrong. And, at this point, she didn't know whether the outcome of this revelation and letting herself succumb to him would be good or bad, but at the moment she didn't care. All she cared about was being with him. It was the only thing that mattered.

She smiled softly and slid onto him, kissing him deeply. He pulled back slightly. "I could get used to waking up like this every morning."

She just laughed and brought his lips back to hers.

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A few hours later, they were finally out of bed and sitting at the kitchen table. Haley had made french toast and eggs and, as they sat eating their breakfast, Nathan repeatedly commented on her "amazing cooking skills."
She grinned. "You know, you're just inflating my ego."

He shook his head. "Impossible, you don't have an ego."

She rolled her eyes and, smiling, grabbed their dishes off the table, dropping a quick kiss on his lips on her way to the sink. Depositing the dishes, she returned to the table, settling in his lap. Snuggling closer to him, she sighed contentedly. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair with one hand, the other placed on her hip.

"You made me miss out on a sleepover with Brooke and Peyton last night," she pouted.

He rolled his eyes. "And that's a bad thing?"

She narrowed her eyes teasingly at him.

"Our sleepovers are better," he stated cockily.

"Aw, whatever you need to believe, sweetie," she grinned, kissing him.

His hands tangled in her hair as he pressed his lips harder against hers, then moved to her neck, softly teasing her skin. She tilted her head back, giving him better access. "Mmm……" she moaned, "I should go take a shower."

He didn't listen, bringing her mouth back to his.

Smiling, she asked, "Wanna join me?"

He didn't answer, instead picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. Setting her down, he kissed her passionately, their tongues sliding together over and over. He pushed the straps of her tank top down, kissing her shoulder. She ran her hands over his bare chest, then kissed his nipple ring, taking it in her mouth and running her tongue through it. He groaned and pushed her shirt off completely, moving into the shower. He grabbed her waist and brought her in with him, pulling her flush against him. She smiled and kissed his jawline, reaching down and slipping his pants off.

He pulled her mouth back to his as he unclasped her bra and slid it off. "I love you," he whispered breathlessly.

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At around three that afternoon, Nathan and Haley were making out on the couch when abruptly, Nathan pulled away from Haley and sat up, bringing her with him. Her brows furrowed as she searched his face, wondering what was wrong.
Questions had been plaguing his mind the entire day. He had loved every second spent with Haley, but couldn't stop thinking about Jack and what he had said to her. He needed to know if it was going to affect her, or him, or their relationship for that matter. He could be a patient person when it was required, but he was afraid now and he needed answers.

Nathan took a deep breath. "Haley, I love you and you know I would do anything for you. And I'm never gonna let you down. I'll always be here for you. But I need to know what you and Jack were talking about. This is really starting to scare me. I mean, I have no idea what he said to you, but I could tell that last night, it was really upsetting you. So, please, just tell me what he said to you."

She sighed. This was what she had been afraid of. All day, she had tried to distract Nathan and perhaps, without even realizing it, distract herself from the matter at hand. She didn't want to have this talk. She knew that Nathan would be upset by the fact that she was even considering Jack's offer and she couldn't bear to hurt him anymore. She already had too many times. By being in a relationship with him, she had thought that they could both stop hurting.

And then, Jack came into the picture. She didn't understand why something like this had to happen to her. She didn't understand it at all. It was as though God didn't want her to be happy. She knew that she had been a bad person for the past few years, but didn't all those years before that count for something? Anything? And shouldn't she be given the chance to correct the mistakes she'd made before something else came along to screw it up? But, apparently, she wouldn't be given a second chance because Jack was back and now, she had a decision to make.

It seemed as if all she ever did anymore was make life altering decisions. First, choosing whether to take a chance on Nathan and now this. It wasn't fair, she never thought that she would have to go through all of this. No one has a perfect life, but before New York, her life had been pretty close. It was all she wanted it to be. And now…… now, it was as though she didn't have a life anymore. If life was all about making decisions such as these and having to worry about losing yourself and all those you care about, and never being perfectly happy for more than a few moments, could you really call it living? She wondered.

For this particular decision, she knew she would need more time. But she would have to tell Nathan what Jack had said to her last night. So, she took a deep breath and, taking hold of his hands, began, "Nathan, honey, you know I love you too. You mean so much to me. I've finally realized that. But I have to make a choice and I'm not sure if you can help me. I'm not sure anyone can. See, when I was in New York, it took so much for me to be accepted there, but once I was, it was like nothing could ever hurt me again. I don't care about anyone, they don't care about me, I can't get hurt. And then, we moved back here and you showed me what I was missing. And that's when I fell in love with you. And with who you showed me I could be."

Nathan didn't quite understand where this was going, but thus far, it had gone pretty well. She had said nothing but positive things about how much she loved him and why and what he had done for her. But, he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, almost like a premonition, that it was about to take a turn for the worst.

And it did.

She cleared her throat. "And then, Jack came to Tree Hill. You know, I saw him last night at that club and I told myself he wouldn't get to me again. I would tell him all about the life I had now and how wrong he was and he could believe me or he could not, but either way, I would come back to you a stronger person. And then, he reeled me in again. He explained again to me everything he taught me in New York. He said it in a way that made so much sense, that made it sound like the truth. And I started believing him again. So, I got scared and that's when I walked back to you. I knew you would make me feel safe again."

He sighed. It wasn't as bad as what he had been expecting, but it still wasn't good. "Wait, you don't believe him, do you?" he asked, alarmed.

She looked down. "See, that's the thing. You offer me one thing and he offers me something else. And it's so hard to choose. With you, I get to be myself and, even though there's always the chance of falling, I'd get to be happy and in love and all the things we all used to wish we could be. But Jack has showed me that if you're never happy and you never fall in love or care about anyone else, you can never get hurt. Because what if one day, we break up, or you die and I'm left on my own? Sometimes, I would just rather take the safe road and know I never have to go through that."

He took her in his arms and brought her close to him. "Haley, I will never leave you. I promise you, I will love you til the day I die and even after. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. Stay with me. Please. I know I can't live without you and if you feel the same way about me, how will we survive it if you let me go now? Jack is wrong. Even if you never fall in love or care for anyone else, it doesn't mean you can't get hurt. Everyone gets hurt. Everyone is scared of getting hurt. But if you're strong, you'll take that risk and you'll learn that's it's better than anything you could ever imagine. Don't be one of the ones who sits on the sidelines your whole life, who's never happy. No one wants a life like that."

Silent tears began to stream from her eyes. "Yeah, but Nathan, what if you die tomorrow? I mean, what if a bus just comes and hits you and you die and you leave me here by myself after I spent so much of my time just loving you?"

He wiped the tears from her cheeks, wanting to cry himself. He hated that she was so torn and he couldn't do anything to help her. "Baby, if I die tomorrow, then I die. There's always the chance of that happening. But remember that saying, 'Better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all?' Well, it's true. Besides Haley, what if you died tomorrow? Would you want to die emotionlessly? Would you want to die unhappy? Death is always a terrible thing. But dying unhappy, alone, well, that's even worse."

She sobbed. "I see what you're saying, but I also see what Jack's saying. You know, a few years ago if you had told me I'd be where I am today, I would have laughed long and hard in your face. But I guess life surprises you sometimes. Nathan, this is bigger than you think it is. There's more."

"What!" he exclaimed. She buried her head in his shoulder, finding the pain written on his face unbearable. She knew that it killed him. The thought of losing her. But he had to know this.

"Nathan, Jack asked me something very important last night and whatever I decide, I want you to know that I do love you. I always have. And deep down, in my heart, a part of me will probably always love you. But I need some time to think about if this is right or not."

"What did Jack ask you?" Nathan asked calmly, knowing that him getting upset would only further upset her.

She hesitated. "He wants me to go back to New York with him. He thinks he can protect me better if I'm living right near him."

"What! No!" Nathan shouted

Haley flinched.

He smoothed her hair, "Haley, baby, I'm not angry with you, I just…… Uhhh! He thinks he can just come back here and ruin your life again and take you away from everyone who loves you and who's trying to help fix what he did to you. It's not fair! This is all his fault. Haley, listen to me. I will always love you, no matter what you decide, but you have to understand. It's gonna hurt me if you decide to go with him. Please, I know what I'm asking is very selfish, but please stay for me. You decide to stay and sure Jack'll be angry, but it won't hurt him. But you go with him and it's gonna kill me."

The flood of tears still hadn't stopped as she looked into his eyes. "I know. It's just so hard. I mean, I don't want to be selfish, but what about me? What about what happens to me? I mean, what do you think is best for me?"

He gazed at her, love for her overwhelming him as he brought her back to him. "Honestly, I don't have a clue. You never know, maybe you would be better off going with Jack. Or maybe, it would be best for you to stay here. Who really knows? Only you can answer that. And I think that while we fight over you, try to persuade you, subconsciously, you've already made your decision. We might not know what it is yet, but the answer is already there. It's in your heart. You just have to find it."

She smiled, even through her tears and kissed him sweetly, softly on the lips. "What would I do without you?"

He smiled back. "I don't know, baby. What would you do without me?"

Her smile faded. "Die."
He frowned. "Don't say that, baby. You don't know that. You still haven't made your decision. But until you do and even after, I'm here for you. No matter what. I'll always stand by you. Always. Whenever you need me, I'll be there."

She snuggled closer to him. "I know. And sometimes, that's what scares me. Falling so deeply in love with you so fast. I mean, we're only in high school. But I love how we are together."

"Then please don't go," he pleaded her. "If I make you happy and vice versa, what else matters?"

"I already told you," she sighed, clearly not wanting to explain it again.

He sighed also, "Yeah."

"I love you, Nathan."

"I love you, Haley."